Its been a little over month since Dongwoon and I started dating. I still haven't found the courage to call it quits, I don't want to hurt him but at the same time I'm hurting him even more by leading him to believe I actually have feelings for him. I made a mistake my dating him.

 

With the wedding only 5 weeks away, I was slowly losing my mind. Not only was my relationship failing but knowing that I was going to have to see Doojoon sent aches to my heart. I honestly missed him. I was only kidding myself when I thought Dongwoon would take Doojoon's place. I longed to be close to him, no matter what happened in the past. 

 

I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked terrible. I felt horrible. "Okay Chloé, tonight you are going to sit Dongwoon down and tell him exactly how you feel." I mumbled to myself. I exited the bathroom and called out for Dongwoon.

 

"I'm in my room." He yelled from his room. He invited me for dinner,I told myself that tonight is the night that I tell him what's going on. 

 

"Hey." I entered the room.

"I hope you enjoyed dinner, you said you wanted to talk to me." His voice became serious.

 

I sat on the edge of the bed next to him.

 

"Yeah, uh... I want to tell you what a great guy you are... But I can't do this anymore. I jumped into a relationship when I wasn't ready and I feel I'm not being fair to you or myself. I think you deserve a great girl and I'm just not that girl. I hope you understand and believe me when I say its not you its really me."

 

He held my hand. I felt terrible, I tried to sugar coat it as much as I could.

 

"I understand, I've been quite unhappy in this relationship as well. I feel as though you haven't really shown your real self to me."

I let out a huge sigh of relief. I felt as if one thing has been lifted off my shoulders. 

 

"I hope you find happiness Dongwoon, I really do."

 

After leaving Dongwoon's apartment, I felt so relieved! I've definitely learned my lesson here. There was still one more thing that I wasn't looking forward to, Taka and Gikwang's wedding. I knew it was going to be painful to see Doojoon and to see my friend get married. 

 

I got home to find Taka going through final details, she was stressed out about the wedding day. I don't blame her, planning a wedding in 10 weeks is no joke.

 

"Everything okay T?"

 

"Yeah I'm just going through the plans for the wedding. Okay so, we're going to leave for the church by 15:00pm, the ceremony will be like 15-25 minutes maximum. The reception will be at the hotel down the street from the church and then from there its party time! Just kidding, by the way I forgot to ask. Did you end up doing what you were planning to do with Dongwoon?"

 

"Yeah, and he actually took it way better than I expected."

 

"I'm proud of you Chlo! I have one more tiny favour to ask." Somehow I didn't like the sound of that but I nodded my head anyway.

 

"Okay, so you and Doojoon would have to walk into the church together, walk out the church together and sit next to each other at the eating table at the reception. I hope that's okay with you. And its just because you're the only bridesmaid/maid of honor and he's the only best man/groomsmen."

 

Taka and Gikwang decided to keep the wedding small and intimate. Only 55 guests will be attending, that's pretty much only family and uber close friends.

 

"Yeah I guess so."

 

"Thanks Chlo!!! I owe you one!"

 

"How are you feeling? Nervous or scared or both?" I tried my best to be a good friend and be there for Taka when she needs it.

 

"I'm feeling okay, I just hope everything goes well. And by the way, tomorrow is our final fitting."

 

"Oh okay." Taka went with a simple lavender and white wedding theme. I was excited to see how everything would turn out. 

 

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Over the following 5 weeks, life was hectic. It was wedding this and wedding that. Appointments and meetings, final samples and all that. Taka was stressed beyond words, I was becoming stressed out too. 

 

"Chlo!! Are you ready to go?? We have to be in the church in 20 minutes!!" We were getting ready for the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. I was nervous as hell to see Doojoon, so many thoughts brushed my mind. It could go well or it could go wrong.

 

Satisfied with my black maxi dress, I checked my make up once more and left the bathroom. 

 

"Yeah! Are you?" 

"Yeah, oki-dokey let's go. Oh my gosh!! I'm going to be married tomorrow!" She yelled. Her excitement was over-flowing, I couldn't believe that it was already time for her to get married. The past 5 weeks flew by way to quick. 

 

My stomach was filled with butterflies the entire cab ride to the church. I was so anxious to see Doojoon again. We got to the church and we were greeted by Taka and Gikwang's family. I couldn't see Doojoon anywhere, my eyes searched for him but I couldn't find him.

 

"Okay everybody in the church, just the father of the bride, the bride, the best man, the bridesmaid and the groom need to be outside right now." I heard the wedding co-ordinator yelling.

With everybody going inside, this will make it easier for me to scout for Doojoon.

 

"Where's Doojoon?" Gikwang asked.

"Yah! I'm right here. Sorry I'm late everybody." Doojoon came from no where.

My heart skipped a beat by just hearing his voice again. 

 

"Okay so Doojoon and Chloé will go in first, followed by Gikwang and then the father of the bride will the bride in." The wedding co-ordinator giving us instructions.

 

"Chloé you need to be on Doojoon's right side and your arm needs to be hooked on his okay? Let me just get everything ready inside, I'll be with you guys in a few minutes."

 

Doojoon and I did as we were told, it was silent for a while. 

"How have you been Chloé?" Doojoon breaking the silence. I could feel his gaze on me, I tried looking at him but it was too hard.

 

"I'm okay, how about you?" 

 

"Can't complain." It felt so good just to be next to him again. To feel his body next to mine. I honestly don't know what could happen this next two days but I didn't want to think about it. Right now I was with Doojoon and nothing else mattered.