Chapter 18
Crazy Nights
I woke up the next day with puffy eyes and a headache the size of Africa. I was feeling terrible.
I needed advice, I needed someone to talk to besides Taka. The last thing I wanted was to tell Taka how unhappy I was simply because she's getting married, I've failed at keeping a relationship and I messed up my life.
"Hi Gina? This is Chloé, we met last night. I was wondering if maybe you could squeeze me in for an emergency session this morning?"
"Oh hi Chloé, yeah sure. My first session is at 10 and I have an hour free before that. Is that okay?"
"Yeah that's fine, I'll see you soon, thanks so much Gina."
I hung up and got ready to see Gina. This was my first time going to a psychologist with a problem. I've always dealt with my problems and I've always had Taka to talk to. This situation was different, I felt as if I couldn't expose my real feelings to my friend because I don't want to ruin her happiness.
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"So what brings you here Chloè?" Gina asked as she indicated me to sit down.
"Well, my life is a mess." My eyes tried to fight the tears but it lost, tears started falling out of my eyes. It hurts to talk about it, everything was once so perfect, but now things are just out of control.
"Why do you feel this way?" Her eyes fixed on me.
"I lost the man I love, my friend who never wanted to get married is now getting married, I gave Dongwoon the wrong message by allowing him to kiss me last night. I just feel like a wreck!! That was supposed to be me, you know? I've always envisioned myself getting married at 23 but I don't even have a boyfriend, I failed at that, I don't know what I did wrong for karma to punish me like this. It hurts so bad being away from the man I love, but I don't even think he cares since he's back with his ex. Everything just hurts, my heart aches just talking about it and to make things worse, my best friend is marrying his best friend. I feel like dying that's how terrible I feel. Dongwoon is such a great guy and I don't want to hurt him, I tried to push him away but the more I did that the more I feel like destiny brought him to me again. I need to be told what to do, I need you to tell me what do you think I should do." By the time I ended my long explanation to Gina, my eyes were already puffy due to the tears.
"Chloé, I can tell that you're obviously hurt by everything that's happening currently in your life. I can also tell that you really loved your boyfriend but when you told me that he's back with his ex girlfriend, I realized that you really have to move on Chloé. If you're going to be hooked on him forever you will never move on and have that fairytale ending that you've always wanted. As for your friend getting married, I understand that you're a little hurt because you thought that would be you, but you need to know that it just wasn't in your destiny. Things happen for a reason and you'll find out later why these things happen."
"What do I do with Dongwoon?"
"Well Chloé, that's entirely up to you. If you feel like that would make it easier for you to move on then so be it but if you're not interested then so be it. I hope that answer helps. Is there anything else you would like to discuss or add to the discussion?"
"No, thanks." I smiled weakly.
"Okay then, just remember if you need to come in and see me, just call okay?"
"Yeah, thank you very much."
After leaving Gina's office, I went to a nearby café. I needed to get my thoughts straight. Maybe she was right, I needed to move on. Sure it wasn't going to be easy but its something I had to do.
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