Story Link: The King and the Ace

Author Link: golferox

Title: (5/5) – Was it eye catching? Fabulous? Too common? Too plain? Was it capitalized properly? –

It definitely caught my interest. It piqued my curiosity. After some long thinking, I finally understood the title. I think… It’s nice, though.

Foreword & Description: (5/10) – Did it grab attention? Was it disorganized? Too long? Too short? –

Your description was okay, but it’s not really a description, now is it? It belongs in the foreword. The description explains the story readers are about to read. The foreword is where you give the readers a sneak peek or a teaser of chapter one or the whole story in general. It’s not where you should put your authors note. Not too many people get this right.

Poster, Background, Trailer, Appearance: (2/5) – Is there too much going on? Too distracting? Does it blow me away? –

You didn’t have a background, poster, or a trailer. Nothing. Trailers are optional, but posters and backgrounds, especially posters, help reel in the readers. Having a nice poster will gain the reader’s attention and want to read our story.

Even though your story is a oneshot, a poster would have been nice. There are plenty of shops on AFF that can make a poster for you.

A simple picture of Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun from, what it looks like, Tumblr, isn’t enough.

As for the appearance of your story in general, it’s legible. It’s written nicely and I can easily read it.

Chapter titles: (5/5) – Did they have anything to do with the chapter? Or did you put random words up there? ** Chapter 1, Chapter 2, etc, do not count as chapter titles. –

You had a chapter title, and it made sense. So, kudos to you.

Spelling & Grammar: (30/35) – Do you have good knowledge of tenses and general, simple English rules? Or do you make the same mistakes over and over again? –

You have some great grammar. There are some errors here and there, but that’s acceptable. Overall, it was good. I suggest you good back and carefully read over your story to catch the tiny little mistakes that aren’t so noticeable but still there.

Plot: (8/10) – Is it easy to follow? Or too complicated and weird? –

I knew something was off with Kyuhyun when Zhou Mi first appeared. I thought that Kyuhyun might’ve been schizophrenic or something. But when you said he has split personalities, I finally understood everything.

The plot was a bit complicated but in a good way. It forces the reader to think as they read. Not too many authors can pull that off well.

Originality: (9 /10) – Is this your own creation, or is it something that is used a billion times over? Did you make an overused plot your own, or did you follow a cookie cutter outline? –

Not the first time I’ve read a story with the main character having some sort of disorder, but this is the first time it had to do with a personality disorder.

Character Development: (8/10) – Too much, or too little? Can I recognize with your character's situation? Am I rooting for some, and wishing others would just die? –

It wasn’t so much development since it was an oneshot. However, I did understand Zhou Mi’s personality and such.

Flow: ( 8/10) – How's your pace? Too fast, too slow? Just right? –

It was a good flow for an oneshot.

Total Before Bonuses: (80/100)

BONUS!!! – Things that are just the reviewer's personal preference. –

Writing Style: (3/5) – Is it one that is beautiful, or just plain confusing? –

It was normal. It definitely wasn’t bad, but it didn’t stand out from other styles I’ve seen.

Enjoyment: (3/5) – How much did I really enjoy the story? –

Yeah, it was okay. I’m not a big Super Junior fan, but it was cool for my standards.

Anticipation: (0/5) – Did you leave me wanting to read on and on? Or was I counting down the chapters until I was done? Did I want to subscribe to see what happens next? –

There wasn’t much for me to anticipate since it’s completed.

Total After Bonuses: (86/115)

Reviewed by: Kakurine039

**Author's note** Wow, I feel really irresponsible... This was marked as hidden for five days now -o-; I'm so sorry, golferox. I don't know how I missed that D: