Kyung’s POV



She was still all that I could think about.  It had been a few weeks. I tried to not to keep track of the time. I did though. It had been roughly a month. 35 days. I hadn’t spoken to her. There were plenty of times I’d pick up my phone and dial her number though. I wouldn’t let myself hit send. I couldn’t talk to her even though I wanted to. I tried going out with the guys. There was always just something missing. I won’t say I didn’t have any hookups or anything. I did. When I did, I couldn’t think about that girl. I was thinking about Darin. I said I was still waiting for her, but really I’m waiting for myself. Waiting for myself to budge from this rut. I need to get over her. I don’t know if I can though.

After our fight... our break up. She did try to call me even though I told her not to. Not a lot, she called a few times about a week later. I didn’t answer. She left a voicemail, but I deleted it. I didn’t want to hear what she had to say. I wasn’t ready to forgive her. I’m not ready to let myself forgive her. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive her. All I know now is I need to let my friends force me out to live. The first two and a half weeks, I stayed cooped up in my room only leaving to go to work. Zico and Jaehyo kept urging me to go to clubs with them, I kept saying no. Finally, when they stopped asking is when I opted to go. I didn’t want to really, I thought I should go. I tried to revert to my old ways again. I wanted to give me sleezy crooked smile and have girls let me take them when and wherever I was ready to. I was playing out the actions, but I wasn’t really living it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a guy, if I get touched - I’m down. But It just felt like something was missing. Beforehand, when I would just and run, it felt good. I was getting pleasure and when it was done, it was done. However, after having feelings behind such an action... It was different now. After about five times, I just kind of stopped. I would still go out and enjoy my time with my friends, but I didn’t care to get with any girls. Why would I want to if I didn’t love them?

It was another Saturday coming and going since I had been single again. I was out with everyone. The guys were on the floor touching and dancing with any female that walked passed them. They were a bit tipsy. I was just sitting at the bar sipping a cola. I was looking at my phone, wanting to dial her number again. I kept starting and  erasing it. I felt a hand on my shoulder and it startled me.

“Dude... You’re bringing me down.” Zico sat beside me.

“I’m sorry, man. I’m trying to get back to where I was.” I quickly erased her number and hit the lock button on my phone.

“You’re going to wear out your screen when you keep hitting the same  number” He grabbed his drink he had left beside me before he had exited to the dancefloor earlier.

“Probably... But I mean I’m not doing as much as I was a few weeks ago.” Zico shook his head. “What?”

“You’re doing it the same amount if not more.” Zico said after finishing off his drink and ordering another one. “You know all of us just want to go tell her ‘ you’, but you still love her.”
I looked down. Obviously I was being completely transparent. I don’t know how, but I guess I wasn’t hiding anything.

“I’m trying not.” I looked down and messed with the rim of my drink.

“You can’t help it. She’s the first girl that you loved. I would tell you there will be more, but I don’t know if there’s going to be more.” Even though he had a few drinks in him, Zico was speaking perfectly clear. “You know what happened to me before EunHee.”

“Hye Su” We said together.

“Man, I was with her since I was 15... 15. I thought that was solid.” He nodded. “But then, one day she wakes up and decides she wanted to BaeDong. 3 years. 3 years wasted.” He stopped for a second. I assumed he was reliving quickly through his head what happened between them. She cheated on him. She didn’t even try to hide it. It was like she broke up with him but forgot to tell him. “ Took me 6 months man.”

“I know. I remember. But you’re stronger than me man.” He shook his head.

“You’re just as strong as me. I picked myself up. I came out there. You’re doing the same thing. Difference is, once I got back out in the game, I knew how much I missed it. I dated around. Then I found EunHee. I’m glad I found her.” He turned over to look at her. She was standing amongst our group of friends. She waved and smiled at him. “ I found love again. You might not. You’re pretty stuck. You might not have been in the waste land as long as I was... But you’re different. It’s not that you’re weak and can’t force yourself over it. You know, inside... You want to forgive her. But I’ll tell you. If you decide to. You better set some damn ground rules and let her know if she s up in the slightest like she has - You’re gone and she’s piss the out of luck.” He pointed at me and poked my chest. Jaehyo and Minhyuk walked up behind him.

“You tell him?” Jaehyo asked.

“What did you guys plan to talk to me about this?” All three nodded. “What is this like a less intense intervention?” They all shrugged.

“Sure. You’re problem is being a .” Jaehyo said.

“Well thanks for caring so much guys. But I don’t even know what to say to her. I don’t know where to begin.” I looked down at my phone. I went into my text inbox then exited. What would I say to her?  For all I know,she went back to Jong because I wouldn’t have anything to do with her. She loved me though. She wouldn’t do that. Or at least I hoped she wouldn’t.

“That we can’t help you. I mean, we’re not telling you you need to get in touch with her this instant. Based on what she did, we’d really prefer never. It just doesn’t seem like you’re going to budge from these feelings you have. Take your time. I know I personally will have to warm up to her again. She cheated on you. She cheated on us man.” Zico said, with the guys behind him nodding. I don’t know what I would have done if they weren’t here. “Now are you going to come have fun with us? You don’t have to grab asses or anything.” I nodded and got up to join them. I would come up with something to say. I just needed to take time.




It took about another two weeks. Almost two month since I had spoken to her. Half the time I had known her. I finally figured out what I wanted to do. I wasn’t going to call her or text her. It didn’t feel right. If I loved her, I needed to see her. Amongst all the chatter and fighting from the last time I saw her, she had mentioned Jong had moved out. I had no fear of him being there. I was driving up to her house. I saw her car there. She was home. That’s good. It took me awhile to work up the nerve to go over there. I was stuck in my car for a moment. I had forgotten half of what I wanted to say. What if she had moved on? I should have just texted her. That way, if she was over me I wouldn’t have to face embarrassment in person. I had already driven over there. I might as well do it. I got out and walked up to the door. I lifted my hand to knock. I couldn’t just stand there. I lightly knocked. It was probably only about thirty seconds I waited, but it felt like an eternity. I hadn’t seen her. I didn’t forget her face though. I could never. The door handle rattled and it opened up. It was him.

“Can I help you?” Why was he here? I wasn’t going to let that persuade me though. I didn have tiny bit of fear and doubt, but I had to push past it. I love her. If I still had a snowball's chance in hell, I wasn’t going to walk away without taking it. “Well?” I didn’t answer him quickly enough. I nodded my head.

“Is Darin here?” I kept my voice steady. I realized he didn’t know who I was. How would he? He nodded.

“Yeah. I’ll go get here for you.” He closed the door. Yeah, that’s fine. Don’t ask if I’d like to come in or anything. The door opened again. It was her. I felt that twinge I felt in the beginning. The one I tried to prevent from growing.

“Kyung?” She stepped outside and closed the door behind her.

“Hey...” I figured that was a great start.

“What are you doing here?” She looked confused. I didn’t know what I expected it. I was beginning to feel stupid again.

“I needed to see you.”

“You said you didn’t want to see me.” She looked down.

“I thought that’s how I felt. But...I was wrong. So... Are you with Jong... again?” She looked up quickly and shook her head. I sighed relief.

“No... He’s back in town for a little bit. I actually just got my own place.I’m picking up a few things. You actually caught me at a good time.” I nodded. “I would have told you I moved, but I didn’t think you’d care.”

“I probably would have told you I didn’t depending on when you told me.” I shoved my hands into my pocket.

“Do you want to come over... tonight?” I nodded.

“I’d love to. I wanted to talk to you. But I don’t think I want to with him here.” I looked into the house. Jong had walked past the window as I looked up.”Does he not know who I am?”

She shook her head.

“He’ll know in a moment. He just told me someone was here.” I smiled. She gave me her address. She also told me to call if I had gotten lost. She hugged me before she went back inside.

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Darin’s POV

“I take it that’s him?” Jong asked me when I walked back into the house. I nodded. “Well if I had known that, I would have been more of a to him.

“Jong. There’s no need for that. I told you he didn’t know.” He nodded.

“What? Does he want you back now? He told you to get out of his life. Why would you talk to him again?” He asked while he was helping me move my things to get them out.

“Because I didn’t want to be out of his life. Jong, you said that things were fine between us.” I stopped moving things for a second to look at him.

“I am. But still Darin... You’re still my wife... ex-wife. I still have feelings. Just because I said I’d be civil with you means nothing for him.” He hugged me. In a way to let me know he still cared, but not trying to get me back. I nodded and stepped back after he released me.

“Jong, Kyung did nothing to you though. If you should be pissed at anyone, it’s me.” I lifted a bag of stuff to take out to my car.

“If I should be pissed at anyone, it’s myself.” He followed me with some small boxes. I turned and looked at him.

“Look if you’re not pissed at me, you shouldn’t be pissed at anyone. I’m really grateful about how you’re handling everything. But you don’t need to be a to Kyung for no reason. We just grew apart. I wouldn’t ask you to give up your dream for me.” I continued to walk outside.

“You were my dream. You should have been.”  I shook my head  at him.

“I came in after you found your dream. I’m not mad about that. I’m sorry for how I handled things. I’m really appreciative how things have been handled. You can’t be pissed at yourself. You can’t be pissed at Kyung. But me, you can get pissed at all you want.” I placed the stuff I was carrying on the ground to get into the car.

“I won’t be pissed at you. I’ll still be pissed at him because he’s probably going to end up with you.” I blushed and held back a smiled as I climbed in the car halfway to place my things in.” You can tell me I shouldn’t, but he’s going to get to date my wife. How can I not be pissed at that?”

“You know what I’m going to say.” I came back out and went to take the boxes from him

“Yeah I should be pissed at you. But I’m not. I should have been there more. I should have taken any hours I had available to come see you.” He didn’t let me take them. He put them in himself. It was no use in fighting him on the matter anymore.

“What’s done is done, Jong.” I headed back into the house to get my purse and get ready to leave.

“I know. I won’t be hung up on you.” He followed behind me.

“If you’re not going to be hung up on me, stop calling me your wife. Say you’re ex-wife or just call me Darin. It’s not like you’ve never had to.” I turned towards him once inside the house. “Jong. I love you. I do. In a different way now. And I’m sorry. You know I am.” He nodded.

“I know. I know. We’ve only had this conversation 1000 times. I keep giving you the chance to come back to me. Even once I tell you the offer is gone, I’ll take you back. I’ll just put up a front. You’re completely moved out now and that’s... that. I mean if you have any reason you don’t want to be on your own and you don’t want to be with Kyung. I’m here.” I smiled at him.
“That sounds so sad, Jongwoon! Tell me I’m a and to get the out or something.” He shook his head before I finished my sentence.

“It was something both of us could have prevented.” He hugged me again. I let him linger a bit before I pulled away. I nodded.

“Well, I guess I’ll be going now.” I headed to the door.

“You’re welcome here anytime, Darin.” I nodded. “I’ll see you around.”

“If you’re in town long enough, probably.” I opened the door and walked over the threshold. He walked to the door.

“I’d kiss you but it would probably be weird.” I smiled and nodded.

“Extremely.” It was time to walk away, but it just felt so final. I started to walk towards my car and he walked along with me. I opened the driver's door and turned back to him.

“Everthing okay?” He asked. I nodded and hugged him.

“I thank you for everything you’ve given me.” He hugged me back.

“You’re going to have to leave eventually. You’ve got a little boy waiting to see you tonight.” I nodded and pulled back.

“It just feels final.” I said and looked down.

“It is, Darin.” He said. He was right. I sat in my car. I started the engine.

“I guess I’ll be going now.” He closed my door as I spoke. He nodded.

“Like I said, you’re welcome at anytime. Okay?” I nodded. I moved the car into reverse.

“Bye...” He smiled at waved as I backed out and drove away.





I arrived at my apartment and checked my phone. There was text from Kyung asking if he could go ahead and come over. I sent him a message approving. About five minutes later, there was a knock on my door. I opened it and it was Kyung.

“You didn’t waste time.” I stepped to the side to let him in.

“I was close by.” He stepped in a looked around. “This is just as empty as the other place.”

“I just finished getting everything in today. It’ll become a welcoming place shortly. I smiled and crossed my arm as I stood beside him. He nodded and turned to me.

“Where can we sit and talk?”

“Anywhere. The floors our seat.” I sat down against the wall. He sat beside me. He looked nervous. “I’m really glad you came over today.”

“I missed you.” He crossed his legs and was looking down.

“I miss you too.” I looked at him. He lifted his head and met my eyes.

“I want you back.” My smile grew. I went to hug him. He halted me before I could get my arms around him.

“What?” I was confused.

“You can’t lie to me though. I’m taking a chance letting you back in my life. I decided I was more miserable without you. I wrote you so many text messages that I deleted. I dialed your number so many times just to cancel the call. I’ve been going more crazy without you than when I was with you.” He grabbed my hand and laced his fingers with mine. He pulled ours hands up to his mouth and kissed the back of mine. “But if you anything up again. I will not think twice about leaving you and not coming back.”

“Kyung. I wouldn’t spit in your face like that. I have no reason to do anything like that again.” I squeezed his hand. “If for some reason I did, you have every right to do that. You have every right now to even be here now.” He shook his head.

“Like I said, I thought being in love and with your was painful and more emotions than I could handle.These past two months without... I can’t even put into words.” He put my hand in his hand further from me and wrapped his arms around my shoulder. “So if I have to go out of town, don’t go find some guy to become friends with while I’m out of town, okay?” I didn’t know if I should smile at that because it was a joke or what. He smirked at me. I nodded my head.

“If you go out of town, you better take me with you.” I leaned into him and rested my head on his.

“It’s a deal then.” He hugged me.

“Definitely.” He kissed me. He adjusted himself comfortably to cup my face. I missed his lips and his hands. I could tell he missed me in the kiss too. He broke away. “I’m not going to let you out my sight. I’m always going to be the one here, okay?” I nodded and smiled the largest I had since I last saw him. I kissed him again. I didn’t think I’d be able to make it here after all that I had done. But here he was. He was here for me.