Month Three/Four


Kyung’s POV

At this point, we’d been together for a month now. I felt at peace. I didn’t think I felt any struggle. things were great. I thought they were at least. I can look back now and see how she acted strange at times. Even though we were on such an intimate level, she never took phone calls while I was in the room. She never went into depth about her family. She never went into depth about her roommate. I knew her, but I didn’t know things about her... if that makes sense. We lived in our own world almost. Things we did together is what kept our interest in one another. We would hang out with Zico, Jaehyo, my other friends. I felt like I was a fully disclosed, I let her into my all. I didn’t keep anything hidden from her. I didn’t think she was secretive. I didn’t know. I thought she told all her friends and family about me. I thought they knew she had a boyfriend. I thought they knew that boyfriend was me. I thought she could have a huge secret that would just kill me.

I never thought of us as a typical couple. It had only been a month. But that month felt so much longer. It could have been that we hardly spent time apart. We were comfortable with each other. I could live and walk about freely at her place, whenever I would talk her into letting us spend the night there. She could do the same at my place. There were no qualms. Everything was okay. Like I said, we’d stay at her place when I could talk her into spending the night there. At that time, I never understood why she never wanted to go there. We’d only be able to go over there when I really expressed that I wanted to be alone. She always said she didn’t want to go because she liked having people around. To be honest, it was a little weird going to a huge house, which she said wasn’t that big, with nothing in it. I didn’t feel her when I walked in there. I didn’t feel as though anyone lived there. I had talked her into letting me help her spruce up the place, or at least her bedroom. She was hesitant about it at first, but I was able to get her to come around to the idea. I always thought the smile and appreciation she gave me when we did those things were unadulterated and pure. I didn’t know the guilt and worry that laid behind it. If I known, I wouldn’t have forced her. If I had known everything, I would be with her to be in that place. If I had noticed the small things sooner... But I didn’t. I was still lost in my bubble of happiness. I was blind.

Like the time we were over there, we had just finished having . She got up and pulled some clothes out of dresser. Guy clothes. She had a lot of guy clothes. I just assumed she had them because they were more comfortable to walk around the house in. I never saw her wear any of it out. I just thought she kept them as pajamas.

There was a time that I need to change my shirt, I can’t remember exactly why at this moment. I asked if I could borrow something to wear while I washed that one. I’m her boyfriend, shouldn’t have been an issue. She explained that she didn’t think it would fit. I asked her to let me try. She insisted that it would not work.
“We should just go back to your apartment. It won’t take us long to get there since we’ve found a short way. You’ll be fine until then.” She didn’t look at me. I thought nothing her of avoiding eye contact. She didn’t always have to look me in the eyes. That would be weird. I know now why and when the avoidance came about. I didn’t press the situation. If she was convinced it wouldn’t fit, it probably wouldn’t. I thought it would - she didn’t want me to wear it for some reason. I didn’t have any of my own things at her place, so what she suggested seemed to be the only option.

We got back to the apartment. She sat down on my bed and pulled out her phone. Her text message tone went off.

“Who’s that?” I asked casually. I wasn’t trying to be nosey.

“My friend.” She looked over at me and then back to get cell phone.

“You always say that. Do your friends have names?” She nodded. “What’s their name?”

“Jong.” She looked up at me quickly. “My roommate.”

“It’s nice to finally know someone's name. You know every single person I know, I feel like I don’t know a anyone you know. I’ve never even spoke to anyone in your family. You know both my parents.” I finished changing.

“Well you’re usually occupied when I speak to them. You’re either at work or going to bed or sleeping.” That was her defense. She never even asked me if I wanted to talk to them.

“Well then get me. I want to talk to them.” I think things moved faster for me than her.

“They’re not very interesting people, Kyung. I promise.” She smiled at me. She was trying to go away from the conversation.

“You’re always talking to them, so they must be. I’d like to talk to them. I’m not saying you have to tell them I’m going to be your husband or anything. I’d like to know about you through them.” I kissed her. I didn’t feel a response I would have hoped for.

“Okay.” That’s all she said.

That’s just how things were between us. She never seems to want to anything centered around her. She wanted me to propel everything. I had no problem with it to be honest. Like I said, at that point, I didn’t understand why she did things that she did. We were nearing two months of being together. Almost four months of knowing each other. Her roommate would be back soon. I’d like to meet her. We were spending almost no time at her house. We were always together. It had gotten to a point where she stayed at my place for two weeks straight without going home. She would just be at the apartment without any of us guys there. It made me think. We should just move in together officially. We were at her place again. It was a process to convince her to let us go there. Zico had his girlfriend coming over that night. Jaehyo had... someone coming over. I never knew who Jaehyo was with. We decided to cook together. She was much better at it than me. So really, she was cooking and I was standing around waiting to eat. She really loved to cook.

“Darin. I was thinking about something.” she responded with a small ‘mm’. “You’ve been pretty much been living at my apartment for the past few weeks. I think this is the first time you’ve been home since like... two or three weeks now. If you’ve noticed, my apartment is really cramped.” She nodded.

“Is this about us not spending more time here? I’m sorry about that. You know, it’s just it feels bleh here. Too much space, not enough stuff.” She continued cooking.

“It’s kind of about that. I’m not upset about that. I don’t honestly understand why she’s not letting you decorate without her, but I mean that’s between you guys. But what I was...” She interupted me.

“I abide by that because I don’t put nearly as much into the cost of living here.” I nodded. Okay.

“Alright, well that’s fine. But what if I started to contribute.” She looked confused. She wanted to play confused. She knew what I meant.

“Why would you help out at a house you don’t live in?” She began rummaging around the kitchen. She was nervous.

“Darin, you know what I mean.” I walked up behind her and slid my arms around her from behind. “I think we should move in together.” She pulled away and looked at me.

“Are you serious?” I nodded. “Kyung, we’ve known each other like three or something months. Almost four.” she hesitated when she mentioned that. She always acted like those four months she quoted from the beginning were a time limit. All I saw it as was when he roommate came back. Nothing harmful with that. I’d finally get to meet one of her friends. That’s all I saw it as. “We haven’t known each other long enough to move in together.”

“Why should a length of time matter when we know each other so well. I know so well. It doesn’t matter the time frame it took me to get to this point. I’m here and I think we can do it. We pretty much live together anyway. We’re never apart from each other unless I’m at work. You’re always at my apartment. You have so much at my apartment. I’m here sometimes. I don’t see the harm. If you think it’s because I’ll intrude on you and Jong, I don’t see how. This place is huge. I don’t think I’d bother her.” She just looked at me. It was because I said Jong. “Do you think she’d have a problem with it?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s her place and I’m not going to ask her.” She looked me in the eye. She didn’t want to talk more about it. “There’s no other explanation, Kyung. I’m sorry.” She put her hand around the back of my neck to pull me down to her height. She kissed my forehead. I was dumb to ask.


Darin’s POV

Kyung was upset by what I told him. There’s wasn’t anything esle to say though. We went about our day. I told him I thought it would be best if I just spent the night here and he went home. I tried to convince me to let him stay. He said he knew that was a dumb suggestion and he didn’t know why he suggested it. I know why we did. We were pretty much living together. But I couldn’t let him live here. There was no room for him here. This was Jong’s and my place. Not Kyung’s. He wouldn’t even suggest me moving into his apartment. Cramped living quarters. Even if he had, I still would have denied. I could live with another man. I couldn’t even imagine living with another man. I was sitting in bed waiting for a call or text from Jong. Again, it had been a few days since I had heard from him. I wanted to call Kyung to pass time, too. I wouldn’t do that tonight. I had finally given up and started to try and go to sleep. My brain was running a mile a minute. Everything was overlapping. Kyung. Jong. Kyung. Jong. I couldn’t sleep at all. Then the cause for my inability to sleep change. I heard rustling down stairs. What the hell? I grabbed my phone and began to dial a number automatically. Kyung’s. No, I can’t call Kyung. Maybe Jong will answer. No, Jong won’t answer. I didn’t know what to do but sit in my room nervous. I got up and found something big and heavy to carry with me. I creeped down the stairs quietly and poked my head around the corner, just in case someone was in there.

“Jong?” I dropped the hefty object. He smiled at me. My chest felt rushed with feelings. It felt like I had been hit. Why was Jong here? He wasn’t suppose to be back for like another month. Why was he here? I mixed with happiness and also upset. I was suppose to end things with Kyung before Jong got back. He smiled at me. I felt myself begin to cry.

“Hey baby.” He walked over and hugged me. This felt like a foreign hug. It had been so long, felt longer than it had actually been though. “Don’t cry. I’m here.”

“I thought you were a burglar or something” I couldn’t say ‘oh , you’re home now and I didn’t break up with Kyung.’ That’s why I was crying. I was also overwhelmed. I threw my arms around him. “Why are you here? I mean why so earlier.”

“Well as you know, schedule sometimes changed. It changed. I’m home early.” He kissed me. It felt different. It felt different because it wasn’t Kyung.

“I’m glad you’re home.” I wasn’t though. I would say this messed things up. I was the only person who messed things up though.

The next day Kyung had to work all day. We mostly spoke through text message all day. Jong never asked me who I was talking to like Kyung did. Jong wanted to relax. He was happy to have a break from touring. He was going to have a month off. How do I avoid Kyung for a month? You can’t text message break-up. I wouldn’t do that. I didn’t want to break up with him. I didn’t want to break up with Jong. I knew I couldn’t carry on what I was doing. Even when Jong was to leave again, I couldn’t do that.

Jong and I decided to go out to eat. Jong wasn’t as familiar with the area either. He asked me where I had been going with Kyung, he wanted me to suggest somewhere. The restaurant I mentioned was my favorite one to go to with Kyung. It felt easier taking Jong someplace that belong to me and Kyung than it was letting Kyung in somewhere that was Jong and mine.

Jong was telling me about his tour. He was telling me about the fans. I was listening partially. I was also thinking about Kyung. I also thought what if he came by and saw me with Jong. Jong was holding my hand from across the table. I couldn’t hide his affection. He missed me. I missed him.

“Did you hear me, Darin?” I nodded. I didn’t really hear him. “So you’re okay that I booked the flight for the tomorrow, right? I just I think it’ll be the best way to use my time off. Really get away and you can see your family. But that time change will .”

“What?” I looked bewildered, I’m sure.

“I booked us a flight to your hometown. Didn’t you hear me?” I shook my head. “Yeah. Since I’ve got such a big chunk of time off, I want to go see your family. I want to get out of the country. It’ll really be a vacation. Vacation from suju and Vacation from Korea. That’s fine right? I booked us a flight for tomorrow. Tomorrow morning.” He smiled and sipped from his drink. It wasn’t okay. I had to tell Kyung. Kyung needed to know I’d be gone.

“The whole time you’re here? You don’t want to have some time just for us?” I asked seeing if I could shorten it. I wanted to see my family, I just didn’t want to be away from Kyung for so long.

“We will have time to ourselves. I was able to find a place, a nice place, we would be able to rent out for the month. We won’t be staying with your family this time. Not after the last time we were there. They have no concept of privacy.” I laughed. It was true. My family was nosey. That’s how they ruined the surprise. The last time we went and stay over there... Jong was just my boyfriend. He was talking to my father about his plans. My dad spoke to my mom. My mom spoke to my sister. My sister ran into the room while Jong and I were together and asked me if he did it yet. That’s how I got proposed to. My sister ran into my room asking if my boyfriend had done it already. What was that? Two, two and a half, years ago. Time flies when you’re left alone a lot.

“Okay, well I need to tell Kyung.” I wasn’t going to lie about that. He knew Kyung was my friend. My only friend here. He nodded.

“Okay, well if you want to call him and tell him that’s fine.”

“I’d rather go see him in person. He’s become a really good friend. Probably the best I’ve found over here.” I smiled. He was more than a friend, but Jong couldn’t know that.

Later that night, I knocked on the door at the boys apartment. Kyung didn’t know I was coming over. He probably did. He didn’t think I had anything else to do. I wait until I knew he was about to be home. If I waited any longer, he would have called. I couldn’t talk to him how I wanted to with Jong around.

Jaehyo answered the door. He didn’t say anything he just stepped aside to let me in. Kyung looked over and saw me. He waved and smiled at me. Zico and Kyungs other friend, Minhyuk, gave me a strange look that I didn’t understand at the time. I’d understand it when I got back from  America. When I returned to Korean would be when everything began to shatter. When I had to start explaining myself. If I knew that would happen, I wouldn’t have kept wishing my month in America would go by faster.

“Why didn’t you let yourself in?” I shrugged. I forgot about it. I headed towards Kyung’s room. Kyung said he’d be right back. He was playing a video game with his roommates and some other friends who were over. Kyung followed me into his bedroom and closed the door behind him. “Are you okay?” he grabbed my hand and pulled me into his arms. I nodded then I shook my head. “What’s up?”

“I’m going home to America tomorrow.” He stepped back and bit to get a better look at me.

“Don’t you think that’s bit drastic? I mean I know I might have mentioned moving in too soon, but you don’t have to leave the country. It be okay if you just broke up with me and stayed in Korea. I mean don’t break up with me. But you don’t have to leave the country.”

“Oh! No it has nothing to do with that. My family just surprised me. They bought me a ticket to go home for a month. They informed me they bought it for a flight tomorrow. Morning.” I didn’t smile. I wanted to smile to make him feel better.

“What? I won’t see you for a month.” I nodded. That was correct. A whole month without Kyung. A third of the time I’d spent with him, would be spent away.

“It’ll go by real quick. We can text. I can call you. we can e-mail. We can. It’ll go by quickly.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed to reassure him.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” I wanted to. I couldn’t though. I shook my head no.
“I can’t Kyung. I need to pack. I had no warning.” He pulled me closer to him. As close as we could be. He kissed me. I knew where the kiss was going.

“Then at least stay a while and give me something to think about for the next four weeks.” I couldn’t resist.