I think there's a study on this.

Proximity brings people closer. Being near each other, sharing a house all that must create bonds between people.

I stole a glance at Kai who laid sprawled on the living room floor books underneath him, a big frown on his face as he stared holes into the textbook he was pouring his attention into. We had gotten friendlier too. At least we could now say we sort of got along. Our life had sort of fallen into a strange calm. Finals were tomorrow and after that summer vacation. I balanced another book on the couch and changed positions.

Was the calm merely because we were each too busy studying to pay attention to each other or to nag at each other? It might also have to do with the fact that we each went on dates with other people? Maybe that was the key to a happy marriage I thought with wonder. Maybe spouses should just let each other date whoever they wanted. After all, most marriages were contracts anyways. Not as blatantly for business like ours had been, but maybe that was for the best. We would do what was needed and feelings wouldn't get in the way.

"Pass me the highlighter" Kai mumbled as he shifted on his side and looked at me.

Without a word I grabbed it and threw it at him. He caught it and laid back down and started highlighting things.

We were nothing more than roommates  I decided that was the friendship stage we were at. New roommates.

"Ah... I'm gonna get going now. I'll probably be late" He said without a care as he sat up and stretched. I nodded and waved him away, pretending to be too focused studying.

It was because we were at the roommates stage, that sometimes I think it bothered me when he went to see her. Not for any particular reason. It was simply because some nights he wouldn't come back and I didn't know what time to lock up. It was a bother to have to wonder if I should just go straight to bed or not.  I mumbled a quick goodbye and waited until I heard the door shut. Putting my books aside I quietly got up and looked around.

Marriage was a lonely thing.

I grabbed my purse, sunglasses, a hat and called Daehyun as I put my shoes on and walked out of the depressingly empty house. He met me by an ice cream store and gathered me in a tight hug which I gladly returned.

"I feel like it's been forever" He whispered.

"Me too" I agreed as I laced my hand in his and we walked around, my head slightly bent down to make it harder to recognize me.

"At this rate people are going to think I'm dating an idol" Daehyun said with a laugh.

"An idol? Haha! Be happy with what you have!" I answered playfully.

"What do you want to do?" He asked as he looked down at me.

"Hmm.. Let's see... I want to be with you, someplace quiet?" I said after thinking it over.

"As you wish" He said and walked faster.

Daehyun pulled the door open for me and I stepped into his house. I smiled as the smell of food and comfort wafted in. Even though his parents were out working, the house felt just as warm and inviting. I reminded myself to someday have a home like this. We walked up to his room and I smiled as I looked at the frames around the hall.

"Movie?" Daehyun asked.

"Definitely" I answered as I put my bag down and removed my disguise.

I heard the movie begin to play and gasped as Daehyun came up behind me and carried me over to his bed in front of the TV. He laid behind me and turned me to face the TV and my face burned red. He chuckled and placed a comfortable arm around me as I tried to focus on the people talking. Slowly, the embarrassment faded away and I scooted closer to him allowing myself to relax.

"You've been studying a lot right?" He murmured quietly as my eyes closed for a long moment.

"...yes" I replied hazily.

"Then, should we sleep?" He asked as he reached for the remote and shut off the movie. It was still early, I had time for a nap right?

I suddenly found myself too tired to speak and simply nodded as I instinctively turned to face him and settled into the way he held me.

"I'm worried. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm worried sick that you'll be taken from me" He whispered as I fell asleep.

I woke up to find the day was gone and it was already dark. I blinked into the darkness and slowly Daehyun came into focus. His arms were still around me and we were covered by a blanket. I frowned and I heard people downstairs, his mom must have come up. Oh no, I wonder what she must've thought. I felt like I had to move, but instead I stayed still. I listened to the lively sounds below us. Sometime later  I felt hands pull me closer and a lip graze my cheek.

"I should go" I whispered as he kissed me and my eyes fluttered closed.

The bed groaned underneath us as he moved so he crouched over me, his hands at our sides as his lips never broke contact. I breathed as he pulled us into a sitting position and his hands ran along my sides. I tried to pull away gently but he pushed me back into his chest. The darkness made it impossible to see his face and I felt my heart jump into my throat. We had done this before, kissing, making out. But it felt so wrong knowing that I was married. Even if nothing else was respected in the forced marriage I was in, even if there were no feelings, it felt wrong.

I tried to move my head, but his hand had tangled in my hair and held me firmly in place. I looked out into the darkness as I heard our heavy breaths. His hand finally touched the bare skin underneath my shirt and I had to stop.

"Daehyun, stop" I said firmly and he froze as my words poured buckets of cold water on us.

"... You have to go" Daehyun said, no emotion in his voice.

"I'll let myself out" I said gently as I untangled myself from him and grabbed my things, "I just can't do that kind of stuff right now, doesn't it feel all wrong?" I explained hesitating by the door.

"I understand Hyerim. I really do. I just had to remind myself that you were still mine" He confessed in the dark.

"You know I will always be" I reassured him.

"I know" He said and I bit my lip wondering why he had to be such a bad liar.

I said goodbye and closed the door behind me quietly. Alright so my conscience was ok with dating, but nothing more I noticed glumly as I looked back and forced myself to keep going. Why did my life have to be this complicated? Worst of all, I knew Daehyun was the one who was getting the short end of the stick here. All because of me.

"Hyerim! You're leaving?" His mother asked sadly as she looked at me coming down the stairs.

"Hi! And yeah, I have finals. Daehyun is still sleeping so I decided to head home" I said and after a few more words I stepped out into the fresh night air.

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I split the big chapter into 2 parts, I'll put up the second part in a couple of minutes! ^^