05

Lu Han's POV

Her.....

That certain pronoun of which I used to adore, love and everytime I hear someone utter such name, it's just sweet and saccharine to my own ears.. It's.. It's the pronoun I once had but I lost it and now, I abominably despise and hate it... I do and maybe will.

"Hyung, please??" Se Hun asked in a serious way.

I thought about it deeply and thought about accepting my own buddy's request. I was about to utter a word; a letter replying that three-lettered word called, 'Yes' but... A sudden realization hit me like a drunk driver driving recklessly and I opposed. Why should I spend my own damn time to some useless, ruthless lady??

"No.." I blankly and blandly replied.

"B-But why, hyung? Do you really have to continue being this way? You don't even deserve to act and to BE like this!! Why can't you just move on and-"

I stood up from my own seat and stopped those feckless words slipping out from his own tongue before he can say anything else more.

"Listen, just because you think that you GET what you always want doesn't mean you can GET that 'want' from me. I don't know what you're after but let me tell you this, stop telling me what to do and STOP INTERFERING WITH MY OWN PERSONAL LIFE SE HUN!" I slightly yelled right at Se Hun which caused a formidable scene to other's eyes in the bubble tea shop.

People started to gossip here and there and I can't control my own tantrum after what this 'kid' did.

"H-hyung!! Please! Calm down! I'm sorry." Se Hun said, feeling nervous and guilty after what he told me.

"Whatever your relationship is with that 'Yoon Ji' you speak of, I don't care about you two anymore. If you're just going to continue talking to me about things that I'll never do, I'd better leave." I said, grabbed my bubble tea and walked away.

"No hyung!!! Wait!!!"

I didn't bother looking back and left him there. I didn't blame him for what happened today but... I simply blame myself for... everything.

....

I reached the building and went immediately to the practice room to start and train again. The others already started to train a few minutes ago and Se Hun and I were left behind. I danced with the others yet my mind was trailing somewhere foreign and far related to our training, not giving a single care if I make errors or mistakes in my own steps.

After a few dance movements made, I made some lapses indeed. Our own trainer just looked at me first yet I know he didn't like my actions made. I danced and danced yet I still can't stop myself from committing mistakes. And due to this, Mr. Hwang (our trainer) stopped the playing music and looked at me with a serious and deliberate look with a mixture of slight anger.

All of the members looked at Mr. Hwang in confusion and looked at me like I hold the answer to the world's number one game quiz show.

"Lu Han, what has gotten into you today?? If you're going to continue being like this, you're title on being EXO-M lead dancer will vanish, BOOM." He told me and added, "Let's have a 5-minute break and make sure you'll do things right now, Lu Han." With one more austere look, he left the training room and left us all to relax.

I grabbed my bag and took out my water bottle and sat down beside my bag, sighing. Kai later approached me and sat down beside me, asking:

"Hyung, you feeling alright?"

I ignored his question and stood up, going to the far side corner of our training room. Most of the other members looked at me and Lay spoke:

"Yes. Something is indeed wrong with him today." Lay nodded, confirming his suspicions.

"I hate seeing that dark side of him." Tao blurted out, blowing a cherry filled with air.

Looking at the newly polished floor, I started releasing my train of thoughts about my life. About what's going on with me right now..

If it wasn't for you, I shouldn't have been like this. I don't know if I should pour all the accusations on you but everything that's happening to me right now...

It's all because of you..

.....

Se Hun's POV

"AIISH!! That was such a stupid thing to ask him that. Now would you just look at what you did?!! UGH!! I can't forgive myself after this.." I thought.

I bowed and asked all the people inside the bubble tea shop for forgiveness and clemency before I left, feeling stupid. I was halfway towards our training room and I stopped to a random hallway inside the building and faced the wall.

"Se Hun, one thing I can say to you is that: you're purely an Idiot. I mean you are the FATHER of all IDIOTS!!!" I told myself and started to hit my own forehead towards the wall.

I continued doing such act until Leeteuk sunbae approached me, feeling both worried and confused.

"Woah. You can cut the gig now. Are you alright??" He asked.

I stopped my foolish head banging and faced my sunbae.

"Ah aniyo sunbae!! I'm fine!! It's just that.. something came UP!!!" I said and smiled-akwardly.

"Oh!! Well, you got me worried there!! Seems like your girlfriend broke up with you or something!"

"Oh no, hyung. I mean, sunbae." I said and fake laughed.

"Well, okay!! I gotta go, you know? Mr. Soo Man has some meeting with us." He tapped his watch and gave me a pat.

"Oh. Arasso, sunbae!! " I said and bowed.

"Aiish!! No need to be too formal!! No more bowing and you can call me hyung, arraso??"

"Ah s-sure hyung?" I said and scratched my head.

After exchanging some few more words with sunbae, I mean hyung, he left.

I sighed once more and faced Mr. Wall for the second time.

"ARRGHHH!!! You're still an idiot Se Hun!!!" I cursed myself and continued my head banging.

Later after what I did, I went back to the training room and saw Lu Han hyung spacing out in one corner. I rubbed my own forehead cause it really hurts a bit and I know it turned red after the meeting of my forehead and the wall. They fell for each other. But just by looking at hyung, I really felt more than just guilty for the things I've done.

"Damn it! Look what you've done Se Fool!!" I murmured, sighed and sat beside Kai hyung since he was the first one to call me.

"Guess I'll give him some space first." I thought.

......

Fast Forward

The next day, as usual, the 12 boys of EXO went to school and as expected, they got greeted by their fans when they entered and step foot of their school. Lu Han, in the other hand, was feeling down and all and his face was pale, as pale as a malnourished child. He didn't get much sleep and eat at all and all the other members (especially Se Hun), started to grow worried.

"Hey Lu Han!! Are you okay??" Kris asked in Chinese.

"Yeah." Lu Han answered weakly.

Lu Han's POV

And here we go again, all the screaming and shouting began.. Those screams that'll never come to an end so stop hoping that they'll blow off..

"Lu Han!!!"

" Lu Han oppa!!!"

"OMO!! KYAAA~"

"OPPA!!! WO AI NI!!!"

Girls screamed here and there, surrounding me and when I mean surrounding, I mean they were all over me.

"DAMN IT!!" I cursed to myself.

They didn't stop at all and I can't pass and I can hardly breathe.. I was having a lack of oxygen right now and now girls were already touching me here, touching me there and it was too much. I got too uncomfortable and I felt too stupid that I'm starting to feel small tears forming in my eyes.

"OPPA!!"

"KYAAA~"

"OMO!!! FINALLY I TOUCHED THE EVER PERFECT LU HAN!!!"

"KYAA OPPA!! SARANGHAE!!!"

"Damn it. Damn it. I. just. want. to. pass." I struggled my hardest to pass but unfortunately, I can't.

I convinced myself to control myself but I can't inhale any more air and now, I felt like crushing them all one by one.

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!" I thought.

With all my might, I shouted due to too much irritation and I've already got too tired of being treated this way.. Please, enough..

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!"

Girls stopped screaming and looked at me with shock written on their faces and I, in the other hand, went away.

The other members looked at me, feeling sorry to those girls and Kai ran after me and soon gave me a light grab in the shoulder.

"Wooah!! Hyung! That was.. kind of...uhmm.rude!" Kai commented.

That was the second time I ignored him and just went to my own classroom without facing more interruptions. As I sat on my chair, I just looked at the window and watched the sky and the birds flying feeling free like they just got out of their own cage. I felt jealous to those birds. Jealous for they got the freedom they always had whilst here I am, still riding the crap ride of my life.

I continued looking at our classroom's window and thought:

"Why can't I just get a beautiful and a wonderful life for once???"

......

Yoon Ji's POV

"It's another day! Another noisy fan meeting with EXO, I guess.." I muttered to myself before entering our school.

I honestly look like a dying owl right now due to lack of sleep. Now this is seriously adding up to my sheer ugliness.

I clinged to the slings of my backpack and went to school receiving stares and glares from each and everyone of the students of Seoul High University. They were murmuring things which I know is something evil and dreadful about me but I don't care.

I, myself have already got over the fact that I slapped Lu Han of EXO. It was not like I enjoyed the slap I made but it was like an obligation to do to someone who's plainly as dumb and stupid like of The Three Stooges.

So, I don't care if you all are just going to continue to do those things to me because I still have a duty to do in this University. And it's not like I live for you guys. But I just wish that soon, you'll all realize that what I did yesterday was worth it.

That's all I wish..

I tried to prevent all of their deadly glares and I can see some making disgusted faces at me. I passed by each and one of them until suddenly, a bunch of girls surrounded me.

"Now! 1, 2,....3!!!" I heard one girl say and suddenly, the unexpected happen.

They threw papers at me. All synchronized!! They simultaneously threw it at ME!

They all laughed and laughed and I heard them say:

"Suits you well!!!"

"You deserve an award for slapping Lu Han oppa!!"

"Did you slap him coz' he didn't mind you or something??"

"Oh Poor You!!!"

They all said and left you with papers scattered around the place.

I sighed, feeling not so offended for what they did and just when I was about to walk away, a teacher stood right infront of me and said in reprimandation:

"Excuse me. But would you please pick up your mess??? Cleanliness is next to Godliness, remember???"

I had no other choice but to pick them all up one by one and everything was helping with the bright, blazing sun as my spotlight. My spotlight,indeed. And as an addition, I can sense everyone snickering and murmuring things at me.. AGAIN.

I sighed after doing such work and wiped my own forehead with my own palm and thought:

"I think it's really time for me to get used to this another type of lifestyle namely, DOOM."

.....

Lu Han's POV

My stomach was crying out for food and I, so as with the other members, went to the cafeteria to get some of what my stomach badly wants. And yes, if you're asking, I finally got over that depression and grief. In other words, I'm finally over with my 1 day depression.

"That's right baby, Lu Han is back in the tallest building." I thought to myself and smirked a little.

Well I can that it's natural to reminisce and think about things but, yeah. I have to get over it and think about the present. Think about NOW. FOCUS about my career and my successful and lucrative future. I have no time for those things. I mean, who needs it?? Who needs that four-lettered feeling when you have the whole nation and maybe world loving you? Tch.

As we arrived in the cafeteria, girls were spazzing (as always) and some offered us lunch which they made by theirselves. Also, I spotted Eun Jung out of all those girls waving like a happy Little Miss Muffet.

I rolled my eyes at her then suddenly, she went closer to me and clinged to my arm again like a lost child asking for help.

"Hey oppa!!! What are your plans today???" She said in a cute manner and batted her eyelashes.

I looked at her, and for the first time in my whole entire life, I didn't feel annoyed that she was clinging unto me. I didn't feel bothered by these beleaguered yet loving fans. I seriously don't know what's into me today but I think I'm being delusional. I'm seriously just too bipolar.

I was spacing out for 5 whole seconds and dear God, I was having a staring contest with Eun Jung and I can see her cheeks burning red and I can see her biting her lip.

"O-Oppa.. What are you staring at?? Y-You're making me nervous." She said and giggled.

"O-Oh. Yeah.. What were you saying a while ago??" I asked in a closest-to-kind manner.

"I was asking if you have plans today." She smiled and placed some strands of hair over her earlobe.

I looked at her again then a brilliant idea popped out of my mind. I smirked at the thought and told her about it. And which I know, she'll probably like, no i mean LOVE it.

"Well, I do.. I do have plans for tonight." I said.

"What is it, oppa??" She asked, curiosity filling her body.

"Do you want to go clubbing tonight??" I offered.

She looked at me w/ round eyes and grinned like a nerd having an A+ on a Pop Quiz. I told you, she's loving this.

"Clubbing?? With you??? OH I'D LOVE TO OPPAAAA!!" She replied filled bliss and delight and she clapped her own hands like a toddler.

Honestly, I don't know why I offered to go clubbing with this girl but.. I seriously miss going to clubs and since we don't have any training for today so, why waste the chance?? I need to relax and unwind sometimes.. And this one's just perfect. I mean close to perfect.

"Where are we going to party oppa??" She asked once more.

I thought about it for a while and replied:

"M2"

......

Fast Forward

Yoon Ji's POV

Another day of school ended and well, everything was dreadful but thank God, I survived the day.. To add my feelings of relief, we were finally in good terms with MinA. She asked for forgiveness yet, it was actually all my fault. I was just too jealous over her and that Hyeong Seok guy and I thought she'd just leave and forget me. But I guess, she can't ever do such thing. And that's what I really love about her. I ain't lesbian or something, okay? I just love her because she's her and she's just so great.

We fixed our books in our respective lockers and MinA and I were walking in the hallway after that.. I was bringing some of my books for our History quiz tomorrow and MinA was busy with her phone until she finally spoke:

"JiJi!! Got something to do right???" She asked in an 'I-know-you'll-do-something' way.

"Uhh.. Yea!! I'm glad you know" I said and scratched my head.

"Well, okay. I know you don't want me to come with you, right? So, see you tomorrow. Don't forget to have some time with your notes tonight." She reminded, waved and left.

I smiled looking at her going away and sighed as I went to the Music Room. I asked myself why can't I tell MinA about my usual activity every after class? I mean, she's my bestfriend but why can't I tell her? Maybe I'll tell her but not now.. But, someday.

And I just love the way that she understands me completely. I mean, I hate that type of friend who'd just force or urge you to tell about something you can't even bare say. And thank God MinA isn't that type.

I giggled at the thought of how lucky I am to have a bestfriend like her and stopped at the front door of the Music Room.

"I wonder if there'll still be someone as special as Kim Min Ah.. I wonder.." I thought, huffed and went in the Music Room.

As I went towards the piano that I always treat like my beloved treasure inside my hidden treasure chest, I sat down on the piano stool and placed my bag and some of my books on the side..

I sighed and thought of what song I should play.. It took me a couple of minutes to let it out and I'm glad my mind wants me to perform such song. This is one of my favorites.. My all-time favorites.

"So, I lay my head back down. And I lift my hands and pray..To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours.. I know now..You're my..." I silently sang some of its lyrics and sighed, feeling really, really happy.

I started to touch the keyboards of the piano and uttered the last two words of the song.

"Only Hope..."

......

Lu Han's POV

It was already 5 in the afternoon and we seriously went home late since we, boys, had an appointment about our teaser song. Kris and Suho (the leaders) led the appointment and I was just staring at them the whole time feeling, uninterested. Thank God it was finally over and now, I can go home to our dorm and prepare for tonight's clubbing session.

"Hell Yeah!!" I thought.

I walked towards the basement hallway and saw a sign and what's written was, 'Music Room'.. I raised a brow and went to the door and when I was about to go in, I stopped the process and stayed in such position facing the door and the mini window of the door. Looking at the mini window, there I saw someone by the piano on the stage probably playing some random song.

I was just about to walk away until the back view of the lady made me want to stay in the same position and I mentally smirked to myself. I looked at the mini window once again and yes, my conclusions were correct. It was Blind Lady.

I smirked like mad and silently went inside the Music Room w/o making any bedlam and clamor. I leaned on the wall and crossed my arms observing her.. I felt intrigued just by looking at her and I seriously want to do some gig after she ends her piano session.

Smirking, she started to play the song she was about to play and then suddenly,

My smriking self was gone... I looked at her with a mouth ajar and just by listening to the tune she's playing. I got hit.. I got triggered again...

I want to leave.. I mean, I NEED to leave.. I can't handle to continue hearing this crap again..

I left the Music Room not caring if she heard a creak or sound of the door opening and I ran away as fast as I could... I ran and ran going out of our school and stopped by the huge lamp post to catch for air.

I clenched my fists and kicked the brick wall in ire. Some students who just newly went out, looked at me w/ confusion written on their faces. I just looked back at them and went away to catch the bus at the bus stop..

While waiting for the bus stop, I told myself to forget about what she played and don't let myself go mad again.. But I asked myself why of all songs... Why did she choose that?? I sighed and ruffled my own hair and looked at the sky..

"Why of all songs, why should it be MY song??"

"Our song..." I uttered.