“I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
 

“You’ve only warned me a hundred times. I think I know.”
 

Baekhyun fell back from his sitting position on his bed. “You don’t know the half of it.” My head tilted in curiosity as I waited for him to continue. “If I do survive the surgery-”
 

“You will,” I interject.
 

He let out a dry chortle. “Well, when I survive my face isn’t going to be the same. They’re cutting my face open. It’s the only way they can get full access to the tumor.”
 

“What is the problem with that?”
 

“I don’t know. I figure I’ll be pretty unpleasant to look at, if I’m not already unpleasant to look at anyway.”
 

I threw a pillow at his head. “Shut up. You are beautiful and you know it.”
 

He sat up in his bed and tenderly looked at me. “You should have never gone looking for me that one time.”
 

“You should have never been so forward with me.”
 

“I wasn’t intending on falling so hard for you.”
 

Tingles shot through every nerve in my body. No one had ever made me feel so love struck.
 

“What are you getting at?” I ask, still feeling the tingles run through my body.
 

“Well, you could have saved yourself from all the heartbreak.”
 

I heaved out a heavy sigh. “Are you unsatisfied with me?”
 

He shook his head rapidly. “Of course not. You’re everything I could ever want in a girl. But I just feel like you can find someone better, you know? You’ve already been through so much. Don’t you think you deserve someone better than me? Someone you don’t have to worry about all the time; someone who’s healthy and won’t pass down such terrible genes to your kids. You know, my friend Kyungsoo’s a nice guy. He would be good for you.”
 

“Isn’t it a bit too early to be thinking about having kids?” I said with a slight chuckle as a blush rose on his cheeks. “I could care less about you having cancerous genes. And I don’t want Kyungsoo, I want you. You make me happy. Isn’t that all that matters?”
 

His hand reached up to my face as he my cheek with his thumb. “I always thought I could just leave the world because I had nothing to live for anymore.” I placed my own hand on his and held it to my face. “But that all changed when I met you.” He looked down to his lap before speaking again. “I’m scared.” He pulled the hand that I was holding out of my grasp and placed them messily in his lap. “I didn’t think I would be, but I am. I mean, the surgery will have bad outcomes either way. I could die or I could wake up in unbearable pain. And I don’t think that I want either.”
 

“But I don’t think you want to die,” I said rejoining my hands with his.
 

“No," he started, looking up at me. "I don’t think I do.”
 

* * *
 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to school?”
 

“I hope you’re kidding.”
 

We were already at the hospital and Baekhyun was all prepped and ready for surgery. It would just be a few minutes before he went into the OR.
 

“Well just think about it. You’ll be occupied with school and you won’t even realize that I’m in surgery.” 
 

I rolled my eyes. “How could I be occupied with school when you’re in the OR? You are so stubborn.”
 

“That’s why you love me,” he said with a cheeky smile on his face.
 

I would have had a witty reply, but his statement caught me off guard. Did I love him?
 

His smile slowly faded as he probably realized what he had said. “I’m sorry,” he said shaking his head. “I didn’t mean that…”
 

“Do you think that I don’t love you?”
 

Baekhyun looked at me, rapidly blinking his eyes. He obviously wasn’t expecting that question. “I-I don’t know… Do you?”
 

“Yes,” I said quietly. “I do, Baekhyun. I love you.” The words sounded so foreign coming out of my mouth, but that didn’t necessarily mean that it sounded wrong.
 

“It’s surgery time,” the doctor said as he stepped into the room.
 

My heart dropped into my stomach. I wasn’t ready for him to leave. Baekhyun was all I had left. I couldn’t lose him. Not after everything I’d been through. I needed the surgery to be a success.
 

“I love you too.” His voice snapped me out of my thoughts as he gave my hand a squeeze. “I’ll be okay, so don’t worry.” My face must have gone pale because concern was written all over his face.
 

“You better be.”
 

We shared one last kiss before he was rolled away. On the way to the waiting room, I bumped into his father.
 

“Oh, I figured you’d be here.”
 

“Please make sure Baekhyun’s okay,” I pleaded.
 

“I’ll do my best,” he said, patting me on the shoulder and walking past me.
 

I took a deep, shaky breath as I continued to the waiting room.
 

Of course Baekhyun would survive. There was no way Baekhyun’s father would let his son die in his own hands.
 

The procedure would take 6 hours give or take an hour or two.  
 

The wait was excruciatingly long. Every second felt like an hour itself.
 

I watched people come in and out of the waiting room. Some people left with smiles and others with tears. It was so interesting to me how doctors had such straight faces as they broke bad news to patients’ families and how they could smile when they had good news. They can’t share sadness but they can share happiness. It was an interesting concept.
 

I could only hope that I wouldn’t be seeing a doctor’s emotionless face.
 

* * *
 

It was 6:32 pm. The sun had already set. Baekhyun had been in the OR for over 9 hours now and a nurse has been keeping me updated with the surgery progress.
 

I looked up when I heard footsteps and my heart rate spiked when I saw Baekhyun’s father come towards me. I tried to study his expression, but his face remained stoic. He must have bad news, I thought.
 

I stood up as he approached me and I immediately felt light headed. It was probably because I stood up so fast or maybe because I had only eaten an apple the entire day. The fact that I wasn’t breathing was probably another factor…







 

“He’s okay.”