"Hyung, let's perform at the Students' Union for the last time before Summer Break starts tomorrow." Jung Shin urged Yong Hwa in his energetic mode.

"Why are you so energetic?" Teased Jong Hyun. "Do you have someone you like that you wanna make a secret confession in that performance?"

"Hyung! No. Of course not." Jung Shin was staggered at Jong Hyun's question. 

Even Yong Hwa was astounded. What Jong Hyun had said hit him like a thunder through the limbs. Did Jong Hyun ever know about that? About what he did in their first performance? Impossible, he thought. No one saw what he did. He was sure about that. Because then it would have been chaotic back then. He tried to be affirmed with his thought. 

...............................................

July 1st, 2009

Many students were already gathering at the Students’ Union 15 minutes before CNBLUE’s performance began. Jung Shin was hopping here and there at the backstage trying to loosen up a bit. He admitted that he was feeling nervous that day considering that it was going to be their first performance in front of their colleagues. Somehow he thought it was better to perform in public space like they did last time in Hongdae Park. At least you did some mistake, the people will just make fun of you at that time and went away. Unlike in college, you still have to encounter the same person over and over again.

“Argh this is frustrating,” Jung Shin screamed at last. He could feel as if his stomach was tying itself in knots.

“Yah! What’s wrong with you?” Jong Hyun said in his burning mode. "There's no need to get so wound up about it."

Min Hyuk laughed at Jung Shin’s expression. He never thought his own bandmate could get nervous like that. The three of them was so focused at Jung Shin’s action that little did they realised that Yong Hwa was acting bit weird as well that day. He was still considering if he should proceed with his plan. Yong Hwa didn’t talk much that day.

“If I make it obvious would she notice it? Argh what am I thinking. I don’t even know if she’s coming or not. Please do come, Shin Hye,” concerned his thought.

As the four of them went up on the stage, they could hear the shout of support from some of their colleagues. They were so glad to be surrounded by supportive friends. It helped at reducing the stage fright they underwent at that moment. 

Yong Hwa started the introduction part of the performance with him volume swelling his white electric guitar. He rolled the volume knob continuously to create a violin-like sound. And few seconds before he stopped, Jong Hyun joined in with his action of squealies. This technique results in a high pitched sound as he added the edge of the thumb and the tip of the index finger on the picking hand to the regular picking action. It was then followed by Jung Shin the bassist who tried to emulate the sound of a double bass by plucking the strings with their thumb and using palm-muting techniques to create a short, "thumpy" tone. And Min Hyuk, the drummer conclude the introduction with him hitting his floor toms skillfully ending with a one strike on the cymbals. 

"Cool!" cheered the crowd. "Awesome!" And then the crowd went silent again to pay attention to their first song.

Uh come on yeah

Nega nal ddeonal georan jikgami wa (Don’t give up) 

I get the intuition that you left me (Don’t give up)]

Jakkuman ireon jeoreon pinggyedeulman (Don’t give up)

[You just start naming all these excuses (Don’t give up)]

Neuggimi dallattdeon ssaneulhan Bye bye (Don’t give up)                    

[The cold Bye Bye with a different feeling (Don’t give up)]

Nan bonael su eobseo (Because I love you)                                            

[But I can’t send you away (Because I love you)]

All four of them were anxious seeing that the crwod had not responded yet to their music. They were still silent. But their anxiety disappeared when they started to sing the chorus. 

Please don’t go go go jebal ddeonagajima                                                 

[Please don’t go go go Please don’t leave me]

Hanbeon manirado nal dorabwajullae                                                        

[Will you look back at me even just once time?]

Please don’t go go go seulpeun insaneun shirheo                                  

[Please don’t go go go I hate sad goodbyes]

Neol saranghanikka dashi dorawa                                                              

[I love you so comeback]

The crowd has started to cheer along and some of them already had the lyrics stuck in their head. The crowd enjoyed their music. The four boys who felt taut and tense with nerves earlier, managed to unwind at the end of the day. They were so relieved that the crowd seemed to like their music. As for Yong Hwa, his eyes were still searching for the sight of Shin Hye in the crowd and as if it was a fate, their eyes met. For a moment, he felt like he couldn’t let her out of his sight. Not after the effort he made to find her. Neither could she.

When their eyes met, Shin Hye was so nonplussed that she didn’t know what she should do next. “Was he looking for me just now?” Shin Hye could now feel that she was overwhelmed by the thought of that. “ Why did he stopped looking around when our eyes met?” 

After CNBLUE entertained the audiences with the song “Intuition”, they thanked them for coming before starting on their second song.

“This one is for you, Shin Hye,” Yong Hwa said in his mind while looking at Shin Hye as if their minds are connected. He exhaled deeply as he started strumming on his guitar. You can tell that he was sure about his feeling for her by that time.

Something like in the sky
Uh... I can't define
But certain thang in my heart, you know I can realise
Like fairy tale I heard
Precious thing in my hood
Tell me how you feel, what what? uh same I do

“Did you realise that the band seems to enjoy performing on the stage very much?” said one of the audiences.

“Now that you mention it, I think I did. And Yong Hwa seems..em bit glowing? Wonder why though?” Her friend shrugged her shoulders. They exchanged look with each other and back to focus on the performance.

Something like a toy I got
Yeah, I can remind
My love is shining in my heart, it is so clear and mind
Like fairy tale I heard
Precious things in my hood
Tell me how you feel, what what?

I want you in my life (in the castle, in the air)
I want you kiss me everyday (I take your hand, my dear)
I want you in my life (I don't want you fly away)
I want you smiling at me everyday (You're my dreaming days)
If your love won't stay with me forever
I'll be loving you, whenever
You in my life (tell me everything's alright)
I wanna be your shining light, Forever

The chorus part made Shin Hye felt love-struck. “Is this how it feels to fall in love?” She could feel her heart started to beat fast. Her cheeks started to feel warm. Suddenly, she felt like she couldn’t hold his stare. She was afraid that if she looked him in the eye, he would be able to tell that she has lost her heart to him. So she stared down at her own feet and she couldn’t help but to smile to herself. She could no longer focus on the performance. She was lost in her deep thought, thinking of how cool Yong Hwa was while performing that song and not to mention that CNBLUE’s name has carved on her heart as her favourite band. She only raised up her head to watch the band when the song ended. The whole crowd cheered and clapped their hands. “Wicked!”, “Awesome” was the response they got while some of the students were whistling as a cheer.

And so the four members of CNBLUE came down from the stage and to much of Jong Hyun’s surprise, Yong Hwa walked in different direction from the three of them. Jong Hyun’s eyes followed the direction that Yong Hwa was heading to and he saw that Yong Hwa was meeting up with a girl that he didn’t know. So he tapped both Jung Shin and Min Hyuk, who were walking in front of him, from behind. “Guys, do you know who is Hyung meeting up with?” Jong Hyun pointed at Yong Hwa’s direction.

“That girl? I think she’s in the same class as you, Jung Shin, isn’t she?” replied Min Hyuk.

“Yeah. She’s Park Shin Hye. My classmate. Wonder what has she got to do with Hyung though?” replied Jung Shin.

“It looks like you guys didn’t notice Yong Hwa’s energy when he performed just now,”Jong Hyun thought. “What do you say if we go and interrupt Hyung and her?” Jong Hyun suggested wickedly. His face was wreathed in sly smile. Jung Shin was the first one to second the idea. Min Hyuk just shook his head knowing the trouble that would possibly arise if they did that. But Jung Shin had pulled him to follow them.So the three of them walked through the crowd to find Yong Hwa and Shin Hye together.

Meanwhile, Yong Hwa and Shin Hye were chatting with each other.

“How do you find our performance today?” asked Yong Hwa eagerly.

Shin Hye raised her two thumbs up, “Cool. I like it. Are you sure you’re not a real celebrity?”

Yong Hwa grinned at her compliment. “Thank you. But I’m sure about that. I am just a sloppy engineering student.”

“Sloppy? I thought you said last time it was your first time getting the lowest mark in the class. Well, you’re lucky as you are able to choose either to continue with the engineering pathway or just get enrolled to be a musician.”

Yong Hwa’s heart fluttered at her endless praises. “Oh bytheway, how do find our songs? Do you like it?”

“Of course! And I realised that the first one was about separation. I can feel the kind of emotion that the song tries to imply. it’s like we’re upset at the fact that someone we love is about to leave us but yet we expressed the anxiety we felt in an adamant way.” detailed Shin Hye as her exposition of her interpretation.

“Oh really? Now I know why you are such a good actress. You know how to interpret something deeply.” Yong Hwa said. Shin Hye was flattered. Just then, they were approached by Yong Hwa’s bandmate. Jong Hyun innocently greeted Shin Hye while winking secretly to Yong Hwa. Yong Hwa was astonished with his act. Jung Shin and Min Hyuk followed Jong Hyun’s lead to greet Shin Hye in a polite manner. And of course Shin Hye felt so much honoured being approached by all of CNBLUE’s member that had just performed that day. 

..........................................

June 24th, 2011

"That's it!" thought Yong Hwa. "That was the meaning behind the wink." Yong Hwa turned to look at Jong Hyun and the rest of his bandmates. "I'm sorry but I don't think I can join you guys performing at the Union. I feel like going back home early today. You guys can go ahead to perform if you want." Yong Hwa packed his stuffs into his red canvas sling bag. "I will inform you if we have any practice during the summer. See you guys next time." And so Yong Hwa walked out of the music room.

When Yong Hwa was out of their sight, Jung Shin let out a small sigh. "If only she's here, he would have agreed to my suggestion."

Min Hyuk and Jong Hyun just nodded in agreement. "Maybe Hyung is just tired from all the practices we had. Let us just give him some rests." said Min Hyuk.

Meanwhile, Yong Hwa was walking back home with his iPod on playing the song "In Days Gone By" by Nell. He have been listening to Nell's tracks for countless of time since the day he discovered Shin Hye's secret. 

“Erase it from the head”
“Flourish it in the heart”
“Is it as easy as one says?”

Although
If I look back and think about it
I’ve held onto unmanageable amount of emotions,
I’m longing to go back to those days when I could still feel them.

The day when he discovered her secret was the day he felt like the sky suddenly crumbled down. The day he felt all his hopes, dreams and wishes came crashing down. 

It couldn’t be helped back then
I couldn’t pretend not knowing the sound of time’s footsteps.
Countless emotions clashed and left like a typhoon so everything was a mess

Not to mention the clashed of countless emotions inside him during that time. He looked around to observe the surrounding of the path he took to go to college back and forth. It was the same path yet it felt so different. The journey felt longer...yeah it felt longer... when that someone who used to walk with him together on that path was no longer there to keep him accompanied. 

.........................................

A/N: Dear readers, here is my fourth chapter. I would like to apologise if I have to keep you waiting for the next chapter as I will take a short break to think carefully on how I should put the next phase of the story in words. Not only that, I am having labs these two weeks with a project report to be submitted this Friday and next Friday. To the readers who have been keeping up with me patiently, with much love, I would like to say thank you. I will try to be better when I come back with the next chapter. Thank you for reading this sloppy work of mine.