July 23rd, 2011

"I'll come shortly with your orders. Please wait for a while." And with a bow, the waiter walked away.

"What have you been doing during the break?" Eun Jung asked, starting the conversation. "Are you not doing any internship at the moment?"

"Nope. I think I have made up my mind. Most probably not going to have a career in engineering field." Yong Hwa answered without hesitation. WIth Eun Jung, he does not have to hide his true self or be embarrassed of any decision he made in his life. In fact, he felt really comfortable with her to the point that he would share all that happened in his life with her. Probably because they have been through hard moments together. But one thing for sure, he does know that the feeling he's having for Eun Jung is something completely different than what he has for Shin Hye.

"Haha," Eun Jung gave a rueful laugh. "Years of studying in college and you come up with that decision rather easily, huh?" She feigned enthusiasm and she continued, "Don't worry, Yong Hwa. I could feel how you feel that engineering is not your soul. I have foreseen this before."

"Really?" Yong Hwa was surprised at that opinion of Eun Jung. "I admit that studying engineering was my choice, but I think I am more interested in music. I can't imagine living a life where I'll be busy with all those mathematical terms, calculations and all those sort of things that I feel foreign to me." Yong Hwa elaborated and he could see Eun Jung paid full attention to what he has got to say. 

Eun Jung smiled an affirmative smile. "I understand. I also think that it would be an advantage to the music industry if you decided to venture in it."

"That's too flattering, Noona."

"No, it really is true." She sounded affirmed with her opinion.

"What about you? What is it that you want to tell me? It can't be that you just wanna know about my future." Yong Hwa shifted the focus to Eun Jung.

Eun Jung chuckled softly. "You know I've been busy with college drama festival so I am kinda resting from the entertainment industry."

"Yeah," Yong Hwa waited impatiently.

"So I was thinking of doing something that is related to music as well." 

"You are going to be a singer?" Yong Hwa interjected. He was obviously astounded at his own idea.

"That's too ambitious. I've got a dj post instead at the radio station that she loved." Eun Jung spat it out in one breath before she waited for Yong Hwa's response but it didn't take long before Yong Hwa seemed to really like the idea.

Yong Hwa almost jumped off his seat. "Daebak!" He shouted. 

"Keep it low. People would think we have hit the jackpot." Eun Jung glared at him.

"Which programme?" Asked Yong Hwa, curious.

"The one at 10pm."

The info took him by surprise. "The slot called "Our Vintage Memory"?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yup." Eun Jung confirmed. 

...........................

December 12th, 2009

They were both really nervous while waiting for the doctor to confirm for Shin Hye's condition. They were so scared that none of them had ever thought of contacting Shin Hye's parents but Yong Hwa did tell Shin Won about it and Shin Won advised him to keep it a secret from the parents. 

"Please let it be nothing serious." Yong Hwa kept chanting that phrase in his mind.

"Please let it be nothing serious." 

"Please let it be nothing serious." 

The chanting stopped when he heard the sound of the door being opened and he saw the doctor stepped out from the room. Shin Won, on the other hand, arrived right at the time the doctor was about to inform them about Shin Hye's condition.

"The chemotheraphy caused her fatigue. Her blood count is quite low. We've given her some supplements and it's better for her to rest here for a night. Don't worry. Both of you are her friends, right?" The doctor scanned the two youngsters in front of him thoroughly because he recognised Shin Won already. The two of them nodded and the doctor continued, " I give you an exceptional permission to see her tonight but please don't wake her up. And don't take that long."

"Thank you, doctor." The three of them bowed an appreciation for the doctor's effort. Shin Won didn't wait anymore to just walk in and see his sister.

The doctor then walked away. Yong Hwa could see Eun Jung was concentrating hard to make sense from what the doctor told them.

"Chemotheraphy??" Eun Jung could hear her inner voice.

"Shin Hye actually asked me to keep it a secret from you. She wasn't ready to tell you yet." Without being asked to, Yong Hwa spoke the truth to Eun Jung as he felt the urge to do so. 

"Tell me what?"

"Shin Hye...she...she is suffering from a bone cancer...on her rib."

Spontaneously, she clasped her hand to . To stop herself from shouting due to her being shocked by the news. Eun Jung couldn't believe what she heard from Yong Hwa. 

Yong Hwa continued, "I have never asked about how long she can live. But I know it's not her first time. The cancer returned back."

Eun Jung shook her head slowly, taking step by step backwards, away from Yong Hwa. She pressed her lips together tightly as she tried to hold back her tears from rolling down her smooth cheeks. She did not want to appear weak in front of Yong Hwa. She did not want to be seen crying in front of a guy. She could feel her cheeks and ears getting warmer. She turned her face away from him but little did she know Yong Hwa had already noticed her face went red around her cheeks and ears. One second she would be holding her breath so as not to sob and sniff. And another second she would breathe in deeply to swallow back her tears. But her actions only resulted in pain in her heart. Like a large lump of stone in waiting to be spat out. 

"I hate you!" That sudden revelation came along with a cascade of tears running down her face. Eun Jung wiped her own tears with her sleeves and she pressed hard her eyelashes to stop the tears from coming out.

"I said I hate you!" She repeated it, emphasising it over and over again when she heard no response from Yong Hwa.

Yong Hwa was speechless. It was his first time seeing her mad like this. He had no courage to go against her, so he remained idle.

"She told me she couldn't really trust you but you are the first person to know about it. What does that make me? The forgotten one?"

"Noona, it's not like that." Yong Hwa denied Eun Jung's wrong idea.

"Then what? So it's always the two of you together, sharing secrets and I'm being left behind. You're so cruel."

"Noona..." Yong Hwa held Eun Jung's shoulder to see if she really meant what she said. But Eun Jung brushed his hand away harshly.

"Don't touch me!" She punched Yong Hwa's arm continuously as if that's the only way for her to let out her anger.

"How long did you plan to keep it from me? Until she died????" Eun Jung acted up like a child not getting a candy.

"Noona, don't say that!" Yong Hwa absolutely have no talent at handling this kind of situation. Somehow it reminded him of the moment he confronted Shin Hye with the truth.

"Oh now you're acting like you're the kind one." And she gave him her last punch before she walked away to the other seats in the corridor. She sat down, buried her face in her hands and howled in her hands because that's all she could think of doing at the moment.

Yong Hwa didn't even try to console her as he thought that would be best for both of them. That it would be best for Eun Jung to cry during that moment.

Yong Hwa absolutely had no idea how long exactly did Eun Jung cry before he realised that the sniffing and howling had ended.

"I hate myself...actually. I should have recognised she's been suffering." Eun Jung finally opened again.

"Don't hate me. Don't hate yourself. Don't hate anybody." Yong Hwa came to sit beside Eun Jung. He put his arm across Eun Jung's shoulder and gently rubbed her arm to comfort her. "Let's just do our best to support her. Noona, you have to be strong if you want her to be strong. Let's help her fight her battle, shall we?"

With hands still covering her face, Eun Jung nodded. And with a shaking voice, she said, "I wanna stay strong for her. I don't want to cry in front of her." She put down her hands from covering her face. She turned to Yong Hwa and raised her right hand flat in the air. "In fact, I promise I will not cry in front of her. I want her to know I have never given up my hope for her to get better. Promise!"

Yong Hwa gave her a mirthless smile and messed her hair as if Eun Jung was his dongsaeng. The smile of him being proud of her but at the same time, touched by her strong will. Eun Jung smiled back.

"Let's go check on her for the last time before we go back home." Yong Hwa suggested.

"Eung!" Eun Jung agreed.

And so Yong Hwa walked to Shin Hye's ward. Eun Jung followed behind him closely. When they reached Shin Hye's ward, they just watched from the small glass on the window and saw Shin Hye was asleep with Shin Won just sitting at the bedside staring at her.

"She said she wanted to get you a present earlier but all the stores had closed." Yong Hwa told to Eun Jung who was next to him peeping through the small window. 

"What a sweet girl." Eun Jung was touched

"She even said she would get it during the day."

They looked at each other, smiling. Then Yong Hwa backed off from the window to let Eun Jung took a look at Shin Hye properly before she ran in small step to get Yong Hwa who at that time had walked away slowly from the ward.

.............................

July 23rd, 2011

The coffee they had together awhile ago made Eun Jung hard to fall asleep that night so she stayed awake in her dark room. She was sitting at the side of her bed, staring at the not-so-bright moonlight through her glass window. Reminding herself that she would soon starting her job as a dj just added much nervousness to herself, making it harder to sleep. Suddenly, she remembered something. She bent down to open the drawer on the bedside table and she took out a vcd. At the back of it was written "Drama Club 2009". She brought it to the dvd player placed in front of her bed and she inserted the vcd. She grabbed the tv remote, switched on the tv and played the vcd.

It brought her back to the time when she was the president of the club and she had held an audition for new members. She laughed at how serious and strict she could be during the audition. Even when Shin Hye's auditioned, Eun Jung was still the same, putting on her poker face mask. 

"I can't hear why you want to join Drama Club!" She saw herself was shouting onscreen to the girl she barely knew back then.

"Because I want to share my passion in acting with the whole world!" The girl shouted back.

"Are you going to give your best?" She shouted again.

"I will work hard!" 

"I don't want just hardwork! I want you to give the best!" Eun Jung insisted.

"I will do my best, give my best and be the best!" The girl answered her, rather confidently.

And then the video showed how herself smiled in satisfaction back then. She fast forwarded the video to the moment they were practising for school festival. It reminded her how late they sometime had to stay at school for practising, for making the props, and everything. She saw how sometimes the kids got on her nerve and she forced them to rehearse the same act again and again. And she was reminded of the time she had a breakdown and cried due to the tension building up and Shin Hye would be the one to stay after the rehearsal to sort of calm her down. Yes, the time during the drama rehearsal was really challenging to her but she has got to admit it, that it was nothing compared to what she, Yong Hwa and Shin Hye experienced the past two years together. 

And she had to admit that it was them who taught her about emotions, feelings and life. If it's not because of them, she surely would be that same strict, serious poker-faced Ham Eun Jung.

"Shin Hye-ya, where are you now? If I send you message over the radio, will you be listening to me?"