I was scared. End of sentence, an eternal quest of fear and nervousness. Scared of suffering because of love, I walked a path that would make me forget all about how that person was so near to my heart.

I took a step outside of my house.

I am a renowned surgeon, a successful and rich one. I am well-mannered and everyone liked me. I like this lifestyle more than being a mother of kids nagging you to buy you toys in every single minute of your bothered life.

I looked at the ground then, to the gazebo, where I used to meet him. This used to be just a dream to us. To my closest friend, he used to be dreaming about a gazebo where he and I could go and talk about every single incidents that would make us laugh or cry.

He used to court me. He used to be the only one who could make my heart waver with my resolve. But, I shoved him away like a sick beggar. It was when…

…

On that rainy night, something huffing and puffing already ran into my doorsteps. He was exhausted. He shouted at my name and for as long as I could remember, he was damn soaked.

I was scared of getting close to him. More scared to why he was outside, “Hyoyeon-ah! Help me! My mom…she needs a heart surgeon. Help!!!!”

It was the time when I didn’t get any rest due to the pending operations. I could hardly even rest so I shouted with my voice, “Eunhyuk-ah! Am I the only person you could depend on?!”

He knocked at the door. Loud and continuous knocks were heard. “Don’t you know how bothersome, you are?!” Call me bipolar but that was my character. Then, suddenly, it all stopped. He left without saying a word.

He left snorting and sobbing. From that time on, he never came back to my house. He never dared to give me a call or even send me an e-mail. I was out of his life. It saddened me but it was reality.

…

In the hospital where I was working, news of Hyukjae’s mother were headlined and spreaded like a contiguous virus. “Hey, Doc Hyoyeon, didn’t you know the miracle that happened last week?”

“What is it?” I looked like I was concerned but not at all.

“Mrs. Lee was miraculously saved by Doctor Tiffany. She’s really an elite.”

“WHO?!” With the nurse mentioning Mrs. Lee, I became alarmed.

“Mrs. Lee…didn’t you know her son? Oh…that was good news.”

“What happened to him?”

“Hmmm…” The nurse shook his head. “He left for States.”

“Already….without even…”

Yeah, I was scared of liking him and hurting me back. But, I was more scared of him living my side. I became hopeless. I was a . Take God that his mother was safe. I regretted those times that I could have helped him so that he could lean on my shoulder just how I wanted him to.

I know he was not rich but just seeing his gummy smiles could make my day. Yet, I was scared to confess and this was the result for all of my idiocy. Cries and Pains. Tears and Sobs. Too much to handle, I just saw myself crying out loud. Alone and breezing. Freezing from the seen, I came back to my senses that I was only reminiscing the past.

…

Always alone, I sat in the gazebo. It was white and everywhere I could see white roses circling them. There I fell asleep. Suddenly, I noticed a man’s breath so close to me. When I opened my eyes, a pair of eyes was just an inch to my face. Examining my whole face, he’s back. Lee Hyukjae’s back in flesh.

I cried in front of him. It was unstoppable. He said to me with his manly voice, “So…you had this built because of that promise…” He smiled. Then, his tone changed… “I’m now a professional dancer. I am popular abroad and earned a lot. Maybe, now, I couldn’t be a disappointment to you.

He grabbed my hand. “Open it.” There, he gave me a ring. A silver ring with a tiny diamond at the middle. I was speechless.. “What’s this?”

“Hyoyeon-ah, would you mar---“ I interrupted his proposal.

“I love you. I love you since back then. Sorry that I didn’t open the door.”

“I know all of those. That is why I’ve learned dancing so that you could accept this…”

“I’m sorry… I was scared that you couldn’t like me back…so even if I need to hide it…”

“It’s alright. I could understand everything…”

“Would you accept this?”

“Yeah…”

“Then, be happy with another man…Thank you, Hyoyeon.”

…

It was all a dream. A mirage yet I was grasping the ring in my hands. I cried. I came back inside of the dream house and on a breaking news entitled ‘LEE HYUKJAE, A PROFESSIONAL DANCER DIED DESPERATELY WHILE SAVING THE LIVES OF THE PASSENGERS OF THE AIRPLANE. HIS BODY WAS NEVER FOUND. HE WAS ABOUT TO COME TO HIS HOMETOWN KOREA YET HE DIDN’T MAKE IT.’

It was an eternal struggle. He left me alone in this world. But, with this ring in my hand, maybe…just maybe…I could still love again.

This a special treat for HyoHyuk!