"JONGHYUN OPPA! JONGHYUN OPPA!" Screaming. Music. That's the only thing I can hear. I can't even hear my own thoughts as I'm bumped and pushed. 

We arrived at the venue and SHINee was whisked away to rehearsal. Manager Jin showed me around some before taking me to their waiting room to rest. The rooms very plain. There's a worn couch and some chairs, a coffee table, and a make-up bar thingy. The only thing on the walls are the mirrors over the make-up bar thingy. With nothing to do, I took a seat on the couch and looked through a magazine for a while. Next thing I knew Key was shaking me awake.

"Their going to be letting people in soon. You should probably go now if you want a good seat." I just stare at him with my mouth open. I think I do that a lot.

"I get to watch?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't you?"

"I don't have a ticket."

"Oh come on. The only reason the concert is still on is because of you. Now come on! I'll show you to a seat."

Front row in the very middle seat. Out of the thousand of other seats I'm sitting here. Shortly after Key showed me the seat swarms of people started entering. They were all talking and squealing like the fan girls and guys they are. If I had been with my friends I would have done the same thing. I'm kind of surprised we didn't get tickets to this show. I always said that if any group, no matter who they were, if any group were to have a show in Chicago I was going to get three tickets now matter what. And yet that didn't happen and yet I'm sitting here in the front row of a SHINee concert. After driving them to Chicago. 

Everything was going fine. The seats were filled. I chatted with the girls around me, swooping information, where I'm from, how long I've like SHINee, who's my bias. It's Taemin by the way. The excitement grew with every second that past and with every second that past the fans got more antsy.

When the lights went out, the crowd screamed. When SHINee's image came up on the screen everyone jumped out of their seats, switched on their light sticks, and cheered. The music began, the boys came out on stage and the fans went wild. Me included. I had never been happier in my life than I was at that moment. 

However, it was short lived. When the boys walked closer to the edge of the stage the fans went crazy. They stampeded to the front of the stage, pushing and shoving to get as close as they can. I was swallowed up in that and got disoriented. With the screaming, the loud music, the pushing, the suffocating feeling of being closed in on all sides by hundred of squealing fans, I began to panic. I started to sweat profusely, my vision was going fuzzy. I knew then that I was going to pass out and I needed to get out of that crowd as fast as I could. There was only one problem. I was so disoriented that I no longer knew the was to an exit. I decided to just pick a direction and began to plow my way through.

I don't remember getting out of the crowd.

***

"Hey, she moved." 

All I can do is groan. 

"Morgan, are you awake?" I nod my head. 

"Do you have any aspirin?"

"Ah, yes here." I sit up and open my eyes. I'm back in the waiting room, lying on the couch. Taemin and Key sat around me and Jonghyun and Onew are getting their make-up done or redone. Either one. Key came back and handed me a cup of water and a pill.

"Thank you. Where's Minho?"

"Performing his solo then a duet. Are you okay?" Taemin asks, worry obvious in his voice.

"Yeah, peachy." After handing the cup back to Key, I swing my legs over the side of the couch, put my elbows on my knees and hold my head. "God, I am so embarrassed." I whisper.

"Why are you embarrassed?" Taemin his head to the side in a questioning manor. 

"Dang, you heard that." A nod. "I'm embarrassed because I-I have a thing about human contact. I can't take it." Taemin, who's knee was inches from mine, moves his knee away from mine and inches his chair back. "Don't worry, it's only when I'm in big crowds. Thank you though." I give him a smile. 

"If it's alright, do you mind if I asked, why?" Key sat down in on my other side. Jonghyun and Onew were still getting make-up-afied but were listening in. 

"It's fine. When I was six my family was going on a trip to Texas to visit my uncle. The airport was busier than usual that day so my dad held my hand and my mom held my sister's. My sister was complaining that she was hungry so we stopped by one of the venders to get something to eat. When my dad went to pay he let go of my hand and since I was six my attention span was none existent.

I saw something, I don't remember what it was, but I saw something and went to look at it. Because I was so short though, when I went to go back to my family, I couldn't see them so I just went in a direction. Wrong one.

I just kept going that way getting deeper into the airport and started to get scared. I began to cry which then turned to screaming but since everyone was so busy trying to get where they were going nobody stopped to help me. At some point some guy rushing to where he was going knocked me over. Still nobody did anything.

People stepped on my fingers, knocked their knees into my shoulders, kicked my legs with their feet. By that time I was so scared and tired that I didn't have it in my to stand up and get out of the way. I just sat there and screamed, calling for my parents."  I paused having just gone through the worst experience of my life once again.

After awhile Taemin asked, "How did your parents find you?"

"Arthur, a young guard, finally found me when the crowd had thinned some. He asked me where my parents were and how old I was and all the usual questions. Because I was still crying my eyes out, he took me to one of the shops and let me pick out a stuffed animal. It was a stuffed animal. He asked me what I was going to name it but I didn't know so I asked him to name it for me. Guess what he chose."

"What?" Onew asked. He and Jonghyun were done with make-up and had come to sit on the couch next to me.  

"Sniffles. Get it?" I couldn't help but smile at the memory. "I still have him. He sleeps next to me on my bed. Anyway, after Arthur calmed me down he brought me to the security office where my parents had just arrived to report me missing. They had been looking for me everywhere before going there. At first they were so happy to see me that they didn't notice the bruises all over my arms and legs. Arthur explained how he found me. He was so nice. He was actually my first love. But I was six so. But, yeah, I've never been able to be in a big crowd by myself without hyperventilating and then passing out since."

Silence. My checks flare up when I look up to find four stunned faces looking at me. "Wow."

"Yeah." The door opened and Manager Jin walked in.

"Jonghyun." Manager Jin motions him over.

"My turn. See ya in a bit." He leaves. 

Silence again. "Who wants to play UNO?" I look for my bag and dig through it to find my UNO stack. 

"We won't get very far." Onew points out. 

"True." I think for a second. "How about this? We start playing and when it's your turn to perform the person coming off will take over for you. How's that?"

"Call! Let's play." Says Taemin, taking the stack from me. He starts to deal when Minho walks in. "Wanna play Minho?"

"Sure." 

And start the bestest, most awesome game of UNO I have ever played.

***

The concert was over and we had just arrived at O'Hare airport. I parked and we all got out, grabbing all their luggage. We walk into the airport and Manger Jin goes to the desk to get their tickets.

"So where are you going next?" I ask.

"We're going back to Korea to have our last performance of the tour. Then it's break time a month. I can't wait!" Onew answers gleefully.

"Man, I want to go to Korea. It's been one of my dreams." 

"Really? Well, if you ever do you should come visit!" Taemin says bouncing up and down like an excited puppy.

"Really? You really mean it?!" When they nod I can't help but jump up and down, clapping my hands, and squealing like the fan girl that I am.

Manager Jin comes back and says something to them in Korean. 

"Well, we have to go now." Onew says. He puts his hand out to me but I push it aside and open up my arms. When he makes no move to hug me, just gives me a kind of embarrassed look, I walk close to him and wrap my arms around him in a hug. He awkwardly pats my back. Hehe, what a cutie!

"See you Onew." I let go and turn to Key. "Now, are you going to be shy too?"

Key shakes his head and flings his arms open. I bounce into his embrace and hug him back. 

"I'll miss you Key."

"Me too." We hug for a second longer and let go. I turn to Jonghyun and when he starts to put his hand out I give him a pointed look. "I don't think so." I move forward and hug him. He just stands there not hugging back. Because we're the same height, I turn my head to the side and peck his check. I back up and he puts his hand to his blushing check. "That's what you get for not hugging me back." I stick my tongue out at him before turning to Minho. 

God, he's taller in person.  I'm about to give him a look to say 'don't give me trouble' when I see that he already has both hands slightly raised. I get on my tip toes and walk in to hug him earning some giggles from Taemin and Key. "See you Minho." 

When I turn to Taemin I'm not as forward. My checks turn red and I look at the ground. I mean, come on, this is my bias, the guys I've been dreaming about since I was fifteen, the guy that ruined all other guys for me. 

I look at his face and walk into his open arms. I can't even explain the feels. Tumlbr all the way man!

I'm so shy that I can't even say anything. God, I'm so lame. 

I pull back and look at the group to calm myself down before looking at them all. "I guess this is goodbye, huh?"

"For now at least." says Key. I can't help the smile that grows on my face. They all bow and thank me. I turn around and start to walk away.

I stop, however, when I hear Taemin say to Key, "Hyung, I don't have my passport."

"What do you mean you don't have your passport?"

"I mean, it's not here. See." Taemin opens his bag wide and shows it to Key.

I walk back to them and look in as well. "Let's go check the van." 

***

It wasn't there either. We torn the entire van apart then dumped all of Taemin's belongings out into the back to go through everything one at a time. It was nowhere to be found. 

"Who let Taemin look after his own passport?" Key shouts out in frustration. 

"Hey!" Taemin looks at Key, insulted.

"Oh come one, you can barely keep track of your phone." Taemin goes to say something but stops.

"Wait, I think I remember where it is." Everyone's heads snap up.

"Where?" I ask.

"On the night stand at your house." Everyone's heads hang including Taemin's. "Sorry."

"I guess we'll just have to go back and get it." I say but from the look on Onew's face this is a problem. "Let me guess, the concert you were talking about, you wouldn't be able to make it?"

"Yeah, if we go back to the house now to find his passport the only flight we could take would be the one at one pm tomorrow Sunday. With a fourteen hour flight we would be landing at three am Monday. However, if you convert that to Korean time, we would be landing at five pm Monday. The concert starts at seven on Monday, we would have missed all the rehearsals and we would be jet lagged. There's just no way."

"Damn." They can't go without Taemin, but we can't go back the house without them missing the only flight that would get them back in time for the concert. What do I do?! "What does Manager Jin say? He is your manager after all." 

Onew turns to Manager Jin and says, well actually I don't know what he says since it's in Korean, but he says something. The converse a while, Key and the others joining in here and there. When their done talking, they all look disappointed. 

"Well, we can't leave without Taemin. That's obvious. So there's really only one option. We have to go get the passport and tell the company we can't make it." Key says. 

"I'm sorry. This is my fault." Taemin says, his eyes looking a little wet. 

"Don't worry, we all make mistakes." Onew says, patting his back. 

"Well, might as well get in." I get the keys out of my pocket and hop in the drivers seat. When everyone is in and situated we head off.

The drive was the most silent two and a half hours of my life.