Ch.18- My non-greedy self

I didn't know where I was going now...

My feet were just taking me... guiding me to where ever...

Yet it wasn't just my feet...

It was my heart.

Telling me I should probably get lost. Nobody wants a person like me around...

A person who hurts.

I thought back to the people that I had hurted.

Kino... My best friend...

Yamada Senpei... The guy whom I can't give my heart to...

It was only 2 person... It couldn't get any worse...

What am I saying?

Yet deep inside of me... 

The sinfulness was carved there.

I can't let go of.

I feel if.. If I hadn't met...

Kino...?

No... Yamada?

........

Dai...chan?

.

.

.

.

.

I let out a chuckle to myself.

No, it woudn't be...

I sigh...

Mayu! Stop it!

I grasp onto the strap of my bag.

I try to get myself back to my cheery self.

"Yosh! Alright!" 

I told myself.

I strengthen my back.

Be happy! Be happy!

Trying to push the bad thoughts away.

But they won't leave me alone.

They were like some addiction.

Why am I so.. Negative?

I stare up the sky.

The sun hid behind the skyscrapers.

It was at its peak.

The stars were already starting to be visible.

Time was quick.

Perhaps too quick.

I glance at my watch.

8:55 PM

Too fast.

I should be getting home.

I don't want to.

I'm afraid of seeing mom and... Hiro-nii.

Do they know any of this?

The hurting I was causing...

.

Probably not.

I continue walking along with the crowd.

Wondering about life from now on.

What should I do?

Would there be a chance I'd be over this?

I sigh.

Am I just too selfish?

I stop.

The thought killed me.

I shook my head.

"No.. I'm not..."

Am I?

.

.

.

.

My mind starts to play tricks on me...

Before I knew it...

I decided to let go of something.

Something important.

Something...

I didn't want to!

It wasn't balancing...

My mind told me.

"You're right.."

I said.

My shoulder was bumped.

"Get going!"

The guy continue walking forward.

I stare at his back.

He hid away behind other walkers.

Then he was gone.

......

.......

......

.....

.....

"Gomene... Dai.."

I really am...

This is the only way.. I won't hurt Yamada anymore... But... it will hurt you.

Demo...

It's just a bit, nee?

________________________

Brainstorming like forever!

I finally came up with something!

But why is it so short?

I mean I thought it was long enough!!!!

BTW

Sorry for the late post! ^^'

I noe... this one is super short! Gomene!