Ch. 16- Coming Clean

-274-

The number on the door read.

I gave some thoughts before knocking on the door.

Am I seriously going to do this just because his haha asked me to?

I do have a choice.. Do I?

Well, it is to cure Yamada..

And to cure putting the blame on me.

I shook at the thoughts.

I clutch onto the strap of my bag.

Slowly proceding my fist to knock the door.

Before I could even knock.

The door swung open.

I stood still.

There he was.

He hung onto the door knob, staring at me.

He widen his eyes, quite suprise to see me.

'Edo..."

I mumored.

His face craved into a smile.

"Mayu-chan?"

-

I sat, hugging my knees.

I exaim the apartment.

A living room/bedroom, a door leading to the bathroom, a small kitchen, and a small balcony.

The place roughly have any thing.

Just a spread out futton, an unplug tv, scattered papers.

Yamada rushes back but made sure not to spill the drinks.

"Here.." He hand me a mug.

I took it, wrapping my hand into the handle.

"Arigatou." I thanked.

He sat down next to me.

Knowing that he was there, made me nerous.

Blowing of the steams, I notice him looking at me.

I pretend not to notice.

Just when I was about to take a slip.

"Ah. Becareful, it's hot!" He pointed.

I nod my head. "Souka.."

I was quite suprise of him being worry over something so little.

I blew off more steams.

I finally took a slip.

"Maple?" I turned to him.

He nod. "Mm." With a smile on his face.

"It's good, nee?"

"I guess..."

A silence quickly drew in.

Seeing Senpei after what happend.

There wasn't anything to talk about.

It's been quite a long time.

"Did Okasa asked you to come here?"

He finally asked.

"Eh?" I tilted my head up.

How did he know?

He chuckle, nerously. "She did huh?"

I didn't hesitate. nodding.

He sigh, disapointed.

"Souka... Even if that is the case... I'm still happy that you came,"

He smile.

I glance down.

Not knowing what to do.

After what I did, he was happy to see me.

Why?

Well, he likes me.

...........

"I heard about the...action of you against your mom... is that true?"

I dared.

He glare up.

He shook his head.

"It's true..."

I place the mug down on the wooden floor.

I shove my face closer towards him.

"Doue?"

I asked, "Why would you do that?"

He turn away.

He let out a heavy sigh.

He turn back to me.

"Aranging my partner without my permission. Someone who I never seen nor love..."

He gaze at me with mistooken eyes.

I couldn't help but feel...

This all happens because of me.

If I hadn't rejected Senpei, he wouldn't end up in the hospital or be force to marry someone whom he didn't love...

"Gomene..."

I said, almost as a whisper.

My heart shook.

The feeling of guilts filter in me.

Feeling heat against my face.

"Why are you apologizing?"

I nods.

"I'm really sorry!"

I kneel down to him.

"Oi! What are you doing!"

He pulled my shoulder.

"Mayu-chan-"

"It's my fault!"

I felt something pushing against my eyes.

I try pushing them back.

"If I hadn't rejected you... maybe... Maybe all these things wouldn't happend!"

I shouted out.

Shouting out all of the thoughts inside me.

Of Yamada.

I was coming clean... I was!

'It's your fault, Mayu-chan!" the voice appeared again.

It was right.

IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.

"I never mean it, Senpei!"

I grabbed his shoulder, shaking him.

"I'm really sorry! I really am!"

The water were pushing out of my eyes.

A few drop escape.

"Mayu!"

He blurted.

"Daijobu?"

He shook me.

I stop.

Dropping back onto the floor.

Nodding my head.

"Hai... I'm okay.."

I mumbled.

He sat, confuse and shock.

It was all over his face.

"Did I scare you? Gomene senpei..."

I try keeping my voice calm.

But it was noticeble.

My voice broke.

He shook his head.

"Are you okay?"

He scootch over.

I shook my head.

"I will be fine..."

He even got time to worry about me...

...........................

I took a glance at my wrist watch.

-5:38 PM

I could stay longer....

But...

I stood up.

"I have to get back home..."

I reached down for my bag,

"Eh?"

He stood up also.

I knew that he wanted me to stay.

But I would have to refuse on it.

"Gomene, nee. I had to leave.."

I rush to the door, opening the door.

He followed me.

I was out.

I quickly rush down to the stairs.

"Mayu, mata!" He was still behind me.

"Can't you stay longer?"

He grab my wrist from behind.

I turn to him.

"I can't. I told Oka-"

"Is it because you're afraid of being with me?"

He blurted.

"Eh?"

Afraid of being with him?

I never thought of that...

Yet something inside, I knew I was.

Yamada Senpei had change so much in such short time...

Changing from the respective person to...

I pull my wrist back.

"Why would I?"

I knew deep down I was lying.

I lied?

I quickly turn back, walking away.

"Mayu!"

I dare not to turn back to him.

Daring not to.

Why would he want me that badly?

I hurted him!

I walks faster and faster,

Before I knew it I was running.

Down the sidewalks.

He was still behind me.

"I love you and you know that!"

I pause.

Of course I do.

Even Dai knew too.

My heart throb at the mentioning of Dai-chan.

But I only love Dai... I don't love Yamada.

I turn back to Yamada.

"Demo... I don't... I don't,. Love Senepi.."

My voice trembled.

 I was stabbing him again.

Why can't I stop..?

He won't let me.

That's an excuse, Mayu.

He stood still.

Shock by my words.

His eyes suffering from being hated and rejected.

They were deep and...

Somewhat....

Broken...

"I'm really sorry, Senpei!"

I shouted.

"I only love Dai!"

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Sorry, lazy work!

(: I)