No matter how many times I close my eyes, I could still feel the cold sensation on my fingertips.

It was so devasting...as her damp clothes were crimson red and her blood-soaked arm made the water red.

The hell that made me recognize how life was so precious.

Yet, it was inevitable. Her sufferings were just too ample that even she wouldn't be able to contain her sanity.

 

It was a cold, cold night. I went home after I passed my college entrance examination. Silence filled the whole house. A huge 'pak' sound was heard. My mother's picture frame fell and her face was crushed.

I picked up the glass shards and said, "Mom, I'm home."

But, there was no voice to welcome me. Too unusual, I ran to the stairs and looked up, "Mom, are you there?"

All I could here was the running steam on the bathroom. *dugun* *dugun*

My heart was beating so fast. I couldn't hear the words I'm saying but it was probably calling for my mom.

My whole being stopped from calling. It was now crying and asking for help.

 

My mother was now in heaven. She would now be happy.

I was adopted by a family of gold-diggers. They claimed my mother's business as theirs. Her last testament was voided.

 

That was when I met Kyuhyun.

He was a prosecutor. A lawyer. A friend. A lover.

 

Even if he was a gamer, he was a capable lawyer who helped me through the case. But, he couldn't do it because of the fact that he was scared of his father.

I said to him when the case was closed for the other party, "It's alright. Divine retribution would come."

He just laughed at everything I say. For goodness sake, he was really rebellious.

He was a gangster before. I've never heard of someone getting close to him.

 

But, now, I've met him. AGAIN. His first friend and my first love, Lee Sungmin, why do you always come at the wrong time?

Yet, I've always hoped that there would come a time that you'd realize that I still like you and that nothing changed.

 

"Are you alright?" Kyuhyun asked. All along, I was leaning on his shoulders.

"Ah...yeah...Just tired."

"We're here. Are you ready to meet my parents?"

"I'm just here for a visit. Not the preparing for marriage thing, you are expecting."

"I am afraid, father would recognize you."

"Don't worry about me. I'm strong." He patted me on my head.

 

He giggled again. I asked why and he said, "You're too tiny."

I smacked him on his shoulder as he said, "Ouch. I'm too frail."

 

"Stop with your nonsense. Let's get off."

 

This was his household. Well-mannered maids welcomed us. 

"Oh...Sungmin-ah!" Kyuhyun was probably spouting nonsense again.

 

But, as I looked, "Ohh..why's he here?"

"He's my father's most trusted adviser."

"What is he really?" I asked myself honestly.

*Is he an esper? A psychic, no a psycho? Always appearing in my head, my heart and my sight.*

 

"Why are you here?" His father's voice was a reckoning as the thunder. He had this worried look yet his firm voice made me tremble.

Kyuhyun held my hand to ease my fear.

"I'm just going for a visit."

"Who is with you?"

His cold glare was enough to make me shaky and sullen.

"Ahhh...." I tried to answer. But,

"It's bad for you to get worried and scold him at the same time." Sungmin rescued me.

 

"My father is a kind person. Yet, he's really repulsive in nature. But, if you get to know him, he's really warm.

"Oh...Where's your mother?"

"She has a job to take care of." I didn't ask further since the old man's gaze was always on my face.

I looked at him back and it kind of shocked him. I smiled at him and he blushed.

 

"Let's go inside." The manly voice commanded.

"Alright, I'll be taking my leave." Sungmin was going to leave but..."

"No...stay here. Join us, you're not different from a family member."

"Thank you.. But,..."

"No more, buts! My words are laws in here."

"I understand."

 

We were led to a classic style room. We were served with a soothing tea.

"Kyuhyun, do you want to take this case?" His father gave him piles of paper.

"Then, I'd be checking on them tonight."

"Do not slack off. Who is that girl with you?"

 

I was sipping the cup of tea and was unresponsive. Suddenly, Kyuhyun help my hand.

"She's my fiancee."

"What? Ah...No, sir, we're not yet like that." I glanced at Sungmin and all I could see was his bright smile.

"What's the truth?" Sungmin tried to provoke us.

"Well, we're not really like that." Kyuhyun let go of my hand.

"I think so too. Ahh..what's your name?" The old man changed his tone.

"Ah..Lee Sunny."

"Ah...fine name. Ah... Kyuhyun, where'd you find her? She's so unique."

"It was instincts. Don't you remember her?"

 

"Is she someone from a case?" Kyu glanced back at me and I denied it.

"No way. Sir." I was scared of him. I never met him personally. But, during the court hearing, I saw him looking at Kyuhyun. Kyu was really afraid that he'd make a mistake but all his father had made him was to put pressure of his shoulders.

"Ohh..who is this?" Sungmin, who was idle from some time, was holding his cellphone. "Oh...I'll be there. Yeah, I'll pass it to you."

"Who is that?" Kyu's father asked him.

"Ah..no big deal. Just work related, I'll be taking my leave."

"If you insist, then I don't mind." The old man chuckled.

 

"Oh..Sungmin-ssi, do you know about Sunny-ssi?"

"Ahhh..no..."

"I've heard of you mentioning her name. But, I couldn't remember."

"Ah...you must be dreaming." Sungmin was sweating.

 

"Father, you're always forgetful. Don't mind the law firm too much." Kyu advised to his father.

"But...I couldn't be wrong. Wait, ah, you are his former student, right?" Kyu's father finally remembered. Our linkage, the past that I do not want to return.

"What was that?" Kyu's gaze was that of a frightened look, maybe, he sensed something.

"I couldn't remember."

 

Sungmin exited the room after I said that. I couldn't possibly reveal those embarassing things in front of this family. I had hoped that I could be with my father also. Yet... all they did was leave me by myself. Hugging my pillow, in that empty cage-like house, The food was warm yet empty. The atmosphere was cozy yet shivering.

It was never a home to me.

 

All we did was talk and laugh, laugh and talk.