himchan wakes up the next morning, incredibly groggy with a pounding headache. he rubs his eyes and open them to find jongup smiling lightly at him, the sun beaming down on his back. 

"you look like an angel," himchan comments quietly, reaching over to touch the boy's face. he laughs softly and leans over, pressing a kiss on the boy's mouth and pulling away before jongup can return the kiss, making the younger boy pout. himchan sits up and stretches. man, he really feels like .

jongup sits up too, and watches his hyung. he doesn't know what... all of this... this means and he's incredibly confused. but he's so happy. 

so damn happy.

"what do you want for breakfast?" himchan asks.

"anything is fine, hyung." jongup replies. he follows himchan out of the room and into the kitchen like a lost puppy, keeping his distance, but staying close as well. he watches himchan start breakfast, the older boy humming quietly until he notices jongup behind him.

himchan an eyebrow up, "what are you smiling for?"

jongup shrugs but continues to smile. that damn smile. himchan gives him a weird look, but laughs and turns back to the stove. 

and so it begins.

daehyun's been noticing something off in the dorm. yongguk doesn't laugh, smile or praise anyone. he looks like he doesn't care anymore. he looks so empty. 

next to him sits a frustrated junhong. maybe it's the math homework he's been given, or maybe it's something else. he tries to ask one day but junhong just snaps at him to shut up and curses in english.

then at the other side of the room, himchan's doing some skinship with jongup as they watch videos on youngjae's ipad, spooning and laughing amongst themselves on the couch.

now that he thinks about it, jongup and himchan has gotten awfully attached to each other the past few days and youngjae had told him that he might've saw them kissing one night, but he wasn't sure. daehyun's eyes move to yongguk, who's watching pearl harbor without any emotion, without that sparkle his eyes have when he watches his beloved war movies. 

"yongguk hyung, are you feeling okay?" daehyun asks from where he's seated. yongguk takes a moment before making eye contact and nodding. from the corner of daehyun's eyes, he sees himchan look over, lips straight and eyes dark. 

they weren't happy. it's painful and it's obvious that they weren't happy. and daehyun has a gut feeling that himchan's attempting to stop thinking about yongguk by playing with jongup. and by the looks of it, jongup's too oblivious. 

"dae, leave it alone..." a sleepy youngjae mumbles next to him. he yawns and buries his face into the older boy's arm. 

youngjae's right. so daehyun leaves it alone and the two have a quiet conversation about what they should eat for dinner.

jongup arms are wrapped around himchan's waist as the older boy chooses the next video to watch. he sneaks a kiss onto his shoulder and nuzzles his nose into the crook of himchan's neck, which makes the other boy grin in response. 

it's cute, really. jongup's cute. they're cute. this is cute. himchan thinks quietly to himself, biting his lip. really he had no intentions to further anything than that first kiss. but with the first kiss came many more and hands start to brush here and there and the kisses started to stray to other areas and linger longer. jongup drives him crazy. the cute, shy boy who does anything he says has the softest lips and the warmest hands. and he's his. all his.

but deep down, himchan knows that yongguk's chapped lips and even warmer hands feel better against his skin. 

he shakes those thoughts away, bringing his attention back to the video, and joins jongup's laughing.

one night, they're laying in himchan's bed (jongup kind of moved out of his room with junhong 'because his bed is uncomfortable'), and jongup is watching himchan stare at the ceiling. his hyung is so handsome, he thinks. he wonders what's on the older boy's mind, but is too shy to ask. jongup's not good with words — just actions. 

"hyung?" jongup says, and himchan knows what he's gonna ask but he's not quite ready to answer that yet. so he turns and cuts him off with a kiss. 

oh. jongup blushes deeply and all of his previous thoughts has left his head. he leans into the other boy's lips, deepening the kiss and pushing the older down, hands on his hips firmly.

himchan's a little shocked, but he doesn't mind at all really. their mouths work against each other, and himchan can feel the heat of jongup's cheeks as his tongue asks for its way in and himchan opens his mouth a little wider. from there, it's a mess.

a sloppy, wet, and incredibly hot mess. 

they never made out before — and jongup's not even sure if that's what it's called, what they were doing right now. his mouth sometimes misses, but himchan just laughs a little and guides him back to his mouth and they're back at it again. their legs are tangled together and there's small noises coming out of himchan that's driving jongup insane. he breaks away with a low moan, breathing heavily.

himchan laughs, and ruffles the younger boy's hair. "you okay?"

"i..." jongup blushes and rolls off of himchan, burying his face into a pillow. oh god, he's so embarrassed. the fact that he actually did that...

himchan smiles. "hey, come back here." 

of course, jongup does because he does everything that himchan asks him to do. no stubbornness, no complaints. that's what himchan likes about him.

"it's okay..." himchan cups his cheek and jongup grins a little at the touch. "it's easy. just keep the rhythm going... like this." he leans in and kisses the younger boy. jongup responds quickly, but eases down when himchan keeps it slow. 

himchan feels a pain in his stomach — or was it his heart? he's not quite sure but he remembers when yongguk said the same thing to him the first time they fooled around. that was so many years ago, and now he's here with another boy... 

it feels so wrong. so wrong. 

so after a moment, himchan breaks off and shakes his head. "sorry — i..."

"it's okay, hyung." jongup takes his hand and squeezes it, "we'll take it slow together!"

himchan gives him a weak smile. it's not like that, really, it isn't... but everything about this is so wrong. they cuddle instead, and himchan insists that jongup should talk tonight. so he does. he tells himchan a story about a princess and a brave knight (by the name of jongup), and a tiger that tries to kill the knight. it's a weird story but himchan falls asleep to it anyway, with a smile on his face.

jongup watches him and smiles, saying the final lines. 

"and so the princess and the knight lived happily ever after..."

sorry for not updating~ busy with school *sobs*

i hope you enjoy this chapter. it's just bits and pieces of how incredibly awkward but (not so) happy they are. 

everything hurts my heart lol ;a; what about yours? again very poor editing i'm tired but i really wanted this up! hope you like it~ oh! have you checked out my new fic yet? it's called Can't Do It Alone, a multi-chap college Banghim. go check it out if you have time! ^^