Donghae's P.O.V.

 

So near yet so far

 

After two months... 

 

This morning, I woke up to a text from Leeteuk-hyung asking us to meet up for dinner tonight. 'Dinner's on me tonight, Super Junior! Meet you guys at Samwon Garden restaurant at 6.' He must be in his sentimental mood again. He always asks us out whenever he feels lonely. Of course, all of us would come and on the whole night we'll talk about our journey to success. We'd look back on the good old days and dine the night away. Which I totally don't mind because I really miss our bondings like this. So I replied back and told him to count me in. 

 

Today, I also agreed to hang out with Minho. We're meeting up to throw some hoops. So I wore on my red and white jersey and black short. Then I drove to the basketball court near SMent which where we agreed to meet. He was already warming up when I got there. "Good morning, hyung!" he said with a smile. "Good morning, Minho. What's up? How's the new album?" I asked him then I put my bag down on the side and picked up a ball. "Well... so far so good" then he stood up straight. "Nice! So, you ready to play ball?" I said then I threw him the ball. He caught it perfectly then passed it to me again. "Game on!" I dribbled it then scored for a three. He got it back then ran to the other side. Minho and I used to always play one-on-one's like this even before we debuted. This is how we got our close relationship. I enjoy playing with Minho because he's really good and he gives me a good game. He once said that if didn't become an idol he would definitely join NBA. Yup, he's that good. Well... let's just say that he learned from the best. We played for about an hour before we took quick break. We both sat on the side bench and drank water. "You're getting better, hyung!" he said. "Nah. I could've played better" I said then he laughed. He must've thought that I was kidding. "What are you laughing at? I'm the best played in Super Junior and you know it's true!" I said as I turned to him. He chuckled and said, "You're good, hyung. But not better than Siwon-hyung." I suddenly felt a chill on my spine. I never thought that I'd hear his name today. Every day I push myself hard to be productive just to make me stop missing and thinking about him. Although, no matter how hard I try, his face, his name and his memories keep on showing up. And my heart aches everytime I see his face on the magazine or even hear his name. "Hyung?" Minho's voice pulled me back to the reality. "Ah. Hehe... Yeah, he's really good, huh" then I put a smile on my face. "Are you ready for round 2?" I called to him "You bet!" then he got up and picked the ball up. 

 

We ended the game just in time so I could get ready for tonight. I went back home and took a hot shower. "Get him out of your thoughts, Donghae... Don't punish yourself" I said to myself trying to relax my mind. Stop thinking about him... It's been two months... Time to move on now, Hae. I went to my closet then started to dress up. Then suddenly my phone beeped. I checked on it and saw that Leeteuk-hyung texted me. 'Lee Donghae. What time are you coming? You can't be late again' he said. I looked at the time and realized that it's 5:50pm. Aigoo... I only have ten minutes to get there. I fixed myself up as fast as I could and drove down to the place. I got there 25 minutes after and they were already seated. "Aish! Donghae-sshi... Always the turtle" Leeteuk-hyung said while shaking his head. I gave him a big smile and hugged him. "I'm sorry, hyung. Let's just have fun tonight!" He smiled back then I sat down. Eunhyuk shot me an angry look so I sticked my tongue out to him. Then he smiled. Eunhyuk and I have been hanging a lot these days. Cruising on his batmobile and taking quick trips on beaches... I'm glad that I got closer to my bestfriend after the incident. Then the waiters finally served our food. We got everything. From salads, soups, meat, chicken and seafood! "Wow, hyung! There's so many! What are we celebrating tonight?" Sungmin asked. Leeteuk-hyung just smiled and said, "Nothing... I just missed times like this with you guys. So what are you waiting for? Dig in!" And so we did. I started on the smoked salmon! Mmm... my favorite! In no time all our plates were emptied. It's so fun pigging out with these guys. "Eh... I think I just gained five pounds" Yesung-hyung said. "Thanks, hyung. It's been a long time since we got to do this..." Shindong-hyung said while rubbing his tummy. "We should take a picture! An occasion like this is very rare" Ryeowook said then he raised his hand to call the waiter. Wookie handed him his camera and we all smiled towards it. Before the waiter could click the button we heard a familiar voice behind us. "Hey! You guys can't take a group picture without me!" We all turned around and there he was... Looking handsome and dashing as ever. My heart froze. I can't believe this... He's finally back! My whole world stopped. All my attention went to him. He looked straight at me then smiled. "Siwonnie!" Kyuhyun screamed then ran and hugged Siwon. The rest of the guys followed his action. Eunhyuk looked at me and said, "C'mon". He gave a comforting smile. But this time it didn't work. My body's going numb and... I just can't believe my eyes. He took my hand and led me to them. "Good to have you back, Wonnie" Eunhyuk said then he patted Siwon on the arm. "Thanks, Hyuk" he smiled then hugged Eunhyuk. That smile... The smile I've been dreaming to see since he left. He then laid his eyes on me again. He gave me a nod and smiled. All I could do was to smile back. "So this is why you didn't send me a message last night! It's because you're coming home already!" Kyuhyun said. "Sorry if I didn't tell, Kyuhyun. Leeteuk-hyung said I should surprise you guys!" Siwon said. His voice... his sweet and y voice. It felt like music to my ears. "Woah! Hyung knew all about this?" Sungmin asked looking surprised. Leeteuk-hyung snickered. "Yeah, that's why I gathered everyone here" he said. "So now that we're all here... who's up for dessert?" 

 

We all went back to our chairs. And here I am, still couldn't say a word. Siwon sat between Yesung-hyung and Kyuhyun. Then suddenly I felt a kick to my leg. I looked up and saw Eunhyuk staring at me. He mouthed the words 'Are you okay'. I don't really know, hyukkie... but I just nodded. We had our desserts while Siwon told his stories from Taiwan. All the guys listened including Eunhyuk. What's happening... This is not how I imagined his comeback. Why do I feel like he's ignoring me in a way? He gave me a nod? A nod, after two months of not seeing each other then he'll just give me a nod?! Even Eunhyuk got a hug from him how come he couldn't give me one? And... and what's up with what Kyuhyun said? It seemed to me that he kept in touch with Siwon when he was away. But then he did not even send me a single text or an e-mail to tell me that he misses me. Or even just to inform me that he's okay. How come he could send messages to Kyuhyun and not to me? I don't know why I'm feeling this but... I'm kinda jealous of Kyuhyun right now. 

 

Where is the romantic hug and the passionate kiss I longed for? Is this how it's going to be now? Two months... I waited for him for two months and he's finally here. But why am I feeling worse? I never knew that this is how it feels when the one who made you feel special no longer cares for you anymore... He's smiling and everything now. Didn't he go through the same loneliness I've felt? Doesn't he know that those days of not seeing him was like torture? My heart's getting heavy with all the emotions i'm bearing right now. I can't take this scene anymore... I have to let this out. "Uh, excuse me, guys. I'll just go to the comfort room" I said as I stood up and rushed to get there. I immediately shut the door and let my tears out. I let out all the sadness that had burdened me for two months... My tears are streaming down my face. Siwon is busy narrating his experiences and he doesn't have a clue or doesn't care at all how bad I am hurting deep inside... Then someone suddenly knocked. "Donghae?" It's Eunhyuk. "Yeah? I'm not yet done." I tried to hide the pain in my voice. "I don't care. Let me in, Hae" he said. "Leave me alone, Hyukkie" I said. "You don't have to take this alone, Donghae..." Oh, Hyukkie... I opened the door and let him inside. I closed the door again and said, "I know, this is stupid right?" He came close to me and forced me into a hug. "This is not stupid, Hae... just let it all out. I'm here for you" he said. His kindness made me cry harded on his shoulder. I was expecting this warmth from Siwon, not from Eunhyuk. He rubbed my back and said, "I know it hurts, Hae... So let it out... I won't leave you." 

 

I continued sobbing on Eunhyuk's shoulders. Oh, Siwon... Where did our love go?