Siwon's P.O.V. 

 

Change of heart 

 

I am happy that I have finally achieved all of my goals in Taiwan. I've worked so hard to finish filming the series. I believe that I have done a good job, despite the language barrier between myself and the whole cast and crew. We all gave our best efforts for that series and I know for a fact that it will turn out amazing. And of course, I've also fulfilled the main reason why I came there. In Taiwan, I had a lot of time alone. A good opportunity to think and ponder on all the things that happened. I have realized how bad I treated Donghae and how possessive I was to him. It dawned on me, all the reasons why he chose to block me out of his life. I treated him as my property and not as my lover. But Donghae wasn’t the one who decided to end our relationship... it was me. I ruined everything the moment I threw that punch to Eunhyuk. I do not blame Donghae if he doesn't want to see or talk to me anymore. Up until now, I think he still hasn't forgiven me. But who would want to make ammends with a terrible monster? And if he wants be free... I will just have to let him go. Even though, it'll be the most painful thing and the biggest sacrifice I would ever do...

 

Now that my mission is over. I decided that it was time go back home. Back to my apartment, my friends and my family. I've just arrived in Seoul tonight. And I immediately called Leeteuk-hyung. I was so glad to hear his voice again. I haven't talked to the guys in two months, and I really missed them. I had occasional midnight chats with Kyuhyun but other than that, nothing. He was the only one who was not upset or not busy enough to talk to me. Leeteuk-hyung sounded happy when I talked to him and he asked me to surprise the guys at the dinner he arranged for tonight. The guys... will Eunhyuk and Donghae be there too? That was the first question that popped in my head when hyung invited me. But then I thought, I'd have to face them sooner or later, so why not do it tonight? So, I told Leeteuk-hyung that I'd come right after I unpack my things. 

 

My nerves were shaking on the way to the place. I couldn't even drive properly. I was both nervous and excited to see all of them. I was scared to know what their reactions might be and I was anxious to be reunited with all of them. Especially, Donghae... I don't care if he won't be happy to see or not. But I just couldn't wait to see his angelic face again. 

 

When I got there, they all stood up and hugged me. To my surprise, it appears that they were all shocked and happy to see me. Well, most of them at least. When I came in, my eyes went straight to Donghae. I smiled at him but he didn't looked very happy when he saw me. The rest of guys went to circle me but he just remained seated on his chair. Yes, he was also surprised to see me but his face wasn't showing any emotion... It seemed that we are still not in good terms. But Eunhyuk took his hand and they both came up to me. What's with that? Are they together now? But since when? Eunhyuk welcomed me and so I hugged him and I was happy that he returned my gesture. Guess you can never really turn your back to a brother. Donghae was just standing there. I didn't know what to do or say to him. I was afraid that he'll push me back or be disgusted if I hug him or something. So I just nodded at him and gave him  a smile. The he just responded with a small smile. 

 

We sat down and they asked my about adeventures in Taiwan. While telling my stories, I kept on glacing at Donghae to check if he was listening or how he was reacting. But he looked a bit distracted and preoccupied. Then suddenly, he stood up and excused himself. Is that how bad he feels towards me? That he couldn't even stand listening to my voice? And in just a few minutes, Eunhyuk followed him. My heart pounded. I guess they really are a couple already... After I have told my stories and we all have finished our desserts, we decided to call it a night. We were getting ready to leave already but there were still no sign of Donghae and Eunhyuk. I wonder where they are... Could they be... Aish! Stop worrying, Siwon. It's none of your business anymore... So, I tried to block out all my suspicions on their whereabouts and decided to head home. 

 

I got back to my place and lounged comfortably in the living room. But no matter how hard I try, I couldn't help but feel jealous with Eunhyuk and Donghae. I know I have no right to be anymore, but I just can't help it. Has Donghae really moved on already? Does Eunhyuk love him as much as I did? What will happen to us now? I breathed in and tried to held back my tears. Don't cry, Siwon... You've done enough of that already... Damn, I need a distraction! So, I grabbed the remote control and the TV. I decided to watch an action movie on HBO. The movie was already doing its job delighting me, when the doorbell rang. I stood up and walked to the door idly. I opened it and saw Donghae resting both of his hands on each side of the door frame. He looked at me and his eyes were bloodshot red. And he... he smells like alchohol. He's probably drunk again. "D-Donghae... What are you doing here?" I asked him. Then he suddenly grabbed me by my shirt and shouted, "What is wrong with you, Siwon? How could you be so cold?" What is he talking about? "You are drunk as hell, Lee Donghae. How did you---" I said before he slapped me on the face. "You heartless man! Do you know how much I've been through because of you? Do you have an idea how bad I am hurting right now?!" A tear rolled his face. This must be the alchohol speaking for him. "Donghae, I... I don't know what to say... You know how sorry I am about everything" I said. "Sorry for what?! Sorry for ignoring me for the last two months? Sorry for not being there for me when I needed you the most? What?! You don't even know what you've caused me!" he was screaming pretty loud I'm sure my neighbors could hear everything. "Donghae, come inside. Let's talk about this..." I said. He was about to say something before he threw up. Vomit all over himself. Then he leaned back on the wall and sat down. He closed his eyes then passed out. I closed my eyes too in frustration then looked at him. It's unbelievable how fast his face could transform from being an angry drinker to a sweet sleeping angel. I will never get tired of gazing on this beautiful face. I picked him and carried him on my shoulder. I brought inside and placed him on the couch. I checked on his pants and look for his cellphone. I called Eunhyuk and asked him to pick Donghae up. I am more than willing to let him stay for the night, but I don't want him to go hysterical on me again and accuse me of taking advatage of him. And I'm sure that his new boyfriend would take care of him just fine. 

 

In no time, Eunhyuk arrived. "He got here all drunk, Hyuk. Do you know what happened?" I asked him. "Yeah. After the dinner, we firgured to grab some drinks. But after a couple of bottles we decided to go on our seperate ways already. He told me he was going home. I didn't know that he went straight here afterwards" he explained. "You know Donghae is a terrible drinker. You shouldn't have let him drink so much" I said coldly. "You can't put the blame on me, Siwon. I really couldn't stop him" he said as he went to Donghae. Oh, please don't kiss him in front of me... "And besides, it's all your fault why he wanted to drink anyway" he said softly. "What?! What do you mean?" How is this my fault? "Well, it's you who kept acting cold to him all night" he said then stood up. "Hyukkie. He was the one ignoring me" I protested. "And... and I know that you two are dating already." He furrowed his eyebrows and looked confused. "What the... You're getting it all wrong. Donghae and I are just friends, Wonnie. There's nothing going on between us. You're the one in his heart and mind after all this time. Do you even know that? You left him brokenhearted, man. And he waited for you everyday in two months. He waited for your comeback and be with you again..." I was just staring at him the whole time he was talking. Then he put a hand on my shoulder and said, "Donghae loves you, Siwon. He really does". Those words made me smile. I know this is not an appropiate time, but I can't hide my happiness. I am so relieved that his feelings for me didn't change. "Uhh... Siwonnie? Are you okay?" I hugged Eunhyuk tightly and kissed him on the cheek. "Eh... Take it easy, Siwon! You're crushing my ribs, man!" I let him go and said, "You don't know how happy you have made me, Hyukkie. All the things that had been troubling for a long time are gone now all because of what you said! Thank you!" Then Donghae suddenly whimpered. Eunhyuk and I both looked at him. "Mmm... Maybe I should take him home already" Eunhyuk said. I think he should too. My love needs a proper rest. "Let's forget this all happened, alright? Tomorrow's a new day. Start all over again. Win him back, Siwon. And do your best" then he carried Donghae on his arms. "Thank you, Hyukkie. For everything" I said and smiled to him. "We all deserve a second shot" he said then turned to the door. "Hey, wait!" I called up to him. I went to him and bent down to face Donghae. I kissed his forehead and brushed his cheek. "Rest well, my love. I will make it up to you tomorrow" I whispered. "We better go, Siwon. It's pretty late and you're cheesiness is killing me" Eunhyuk said. I chuckled and patted him on the arm. "Take care of him, man" I said. "Yes, captain!" then they left. 

 

Eunhyuk's right. I must forget all the bad things and start all over again. A second shot for our undying love. I hope you get a good rest, my love... I will see you tomorrow.