Siwon's P.O.V. 

Second chances 

'I want you out of my life!' Those words from Donghae really hit me hard. Right into my heart. I haven't even fully entered it yet, but then he wants me out already. I know what I did was awful.  I'm so disappointed with myself. I hurt my one and only love. And I almost killed a brother. I created a huge chaos. So I have to do all I can to turn this around. I will do anything to make Eunhyuk forgive me and to get my Donghae back. 

I didn't get much sleep last night. I fell asleep on the couch after Leeteuk and Shindong-hyung left me. But I woke up in the middle of night when I thought I heard Donghae's voice. I didn't get to sleep again after that. So I just decided to grab a bottle of beer and ponder on the terrace. The way Donghae looked and screamed at me was stuck in my mind. But I know I deserve more than that, compared to what I did to him. I sulked all night. Thinking of ways on how I could pay up for everything that I did. Once I emptied out three bottles, I went back inside and passed out on the couch. 

First thing I did in the morning was to take a shower and get dressed. I'm going to visit and check on Eunhyuk-sshi and Donghae in the hospital. I hope they're both alright. I immediately asked the receptionist where their rooms are when I got there. She pointed me the last room at the end of the hall. One room... They were checked-in in one room?! Relax, Siwon... It's nothing. Relax. I knocked a couple of times before Ryeowook opened the door. "S-siwon... What are you doing here? Are you feeling alright now?" he asked while standing on the doorway. "I'm okay, Wookie. Can I come in?" I smiled at him then he let me in. My heart ached when I saw Eunhyuk lying on the hospital bed. Half of his face has turned black and blue and his right eye looks so swollen. I... I did this to him. Tears started to blur my eyes. This... this is all my fault. Ryeowook put a hand on shoulder. "The doctor gave him pain-killers, that's why he's sleeping. You can wait here 'til he wakes up if you want to talk to him." he said with his child-like voice. I walked towards Eunhyuk and sat on the chair beside his bed. I took his hand and held it. "I'm so sorry, Hyukkie. I'm really really sorry." I said while my tears were running down. "What I did to you was very inhuman. But I... I hope you can forgive me, my brother. I regret everything now. Please. Please forgive me." I rested my head on his forearm. Then suddenly, "S-siwon?" I looked up and saw Eunhyuk awake and looking at me. "How are you feeling now?" Ryeowook asked. "I'm... I'm better now, thanks. Wookie? Can Siwon and I talk in private?" Eunhyuk said. Ryeowook nodded at him then left. 

"Eunhyuk-sshi... I can't explain how sorry I am. I feel terrible with what I did. I-I know it'll be hard but... I hope you could forgive me." I told him. "The guy... The guy who did this to me. He's not Siwon. I'm sure of that. Because... because Siwon is my brother. He would never try to harm me", he said looking at me sternly. "That guy is gone now, Eunhyuk. He's terrible and senseless. And I promise you that he's not coming back. Ever. But I... I hope that you can forgive him", i said. He looked away and said, "Huh... It's not that easy, Siwon. You almost killed me." I held his hand close to my heart. I cried harder. I feel so bad... I can't to lose my brother. "I know. I know, Eunhyuk. But if I... If I can do anything to somehow make it up to you. I swear, I'd do it", I pleaded. He paused for a while as if he was thinking then he looked at me again. "Let Donghae go. Let him go, Siwon", he said. No... I can't. "I... I can't do that, Eunhyuk. Donghae is my life now. I'd go crazy without him. I'd... I'd die without him," I said then I put his hand down. "I heard everything you said to him. And... you're torturing him with your jealousy and obsession. You are not good for each other, Siwon. Do it for him. Do it if you really love him. Set him free", he said. "I will change for him. I would never cause him pain again. I will do everything to make our relationship work out", I said. He didn't say anything. He just shook his and looked away. So I stood up and told him, "I can't let him go, Eunhyuk. I won't... I love him and he loves me. He said it himself. I can still fix this." He ignored me. So I decided to give up and go out the room. Ryeowook was sitting outside, waiting. He stood up when he saw me. "W-what happened, Siwon?" he asked. I didn't answer. I didn't know what to tell him anyways. I opened my bag and got my checkbook. I wrote in 2,000,000 Korean Won then signed it. I handed the cheque to Ryeowook. "This is for the hospital bill. I don't know if that's enough. Just tell me if it isn't", I told him. "Woah! S-siwon... This is too much", he said with wide eyes. "I'm sure it isn't," I said. I gave him a pat on his shoulder and walked away.

Paying for the bill is the least that I can do. It's nothing... I'd rather give up all my money that let Donghae go. Now, my heart knows where to go next. If Donghae isn't here, he must be in his house now. 

I got to his apartment in no time. But I didn't get out of my car just yet. I'm scared what his reaction might be. What if he doesn't want to see me anymore? Not now or ever again? What if he already fallen out of love? I took a deep breath and got out the car. I saw the Lambhorgini I gave him parked beside his white Audi. I took the elevator and prayed that he'd face and talk to me. I got to his door and my heart was beating so fast. I gathered my thoughts, breathed in and knocked. 

Donghae opened it and was shocked to see me. He didn't look very happy. "My love", I said. I wanted to hug and kiss him. But I know that it's not a good idea. So I just stood there. "What are you doing here, Siwon?" he said. I noticed a small bruise beside his lip. "I... I came here to talk to you." I said nervously. He paused then opened the door wider, gesturing me to come in. "Stay there." he said then he came in his room. I sat down on the couch. He came back and threw me a key. The Lambhorgini. "My love. What's this? This is my gift for you." I said. He gave me a cold stare and said, "I don't want it anymore. I wanna get rid of all the memories we had together." His words stung my heart again. I stood up and came closer to him. "You can't just forget everything... Please don't be like this, Donghae." I tried to hold his hands but moved them away. "I know it's not easy. But I have to do it, Siwon. Everything that happened was like a traumatic nightmare. And... and it's time to wake up from it." No... I can't take this. I hugged him forcefully and let my guard down. I cried on his shoulders. His scent, his softness and the feeling of his bodyheat. I love everything about him. I couldn't live without all of these. "Let me go, Si--" I kissed him before he could say more. But he pushed me back and slapped me. "Get out, Siwon! Get the hell out of my house!" he shouted. I dropped on my knees and hugged him from waist. "Donghae. Please forgive me... please," I looked at his eyes and begged. His eyes looked watery as well. "Let's make this easier for the both of us, Siwon. Just leave, please... I've been through enough. I can't do this anymore." He pushed me back. I stumbled so I stood up already. "And take the car", he said. "I don't want it. It's yo---" He took my hand and placed the key on my palm. "Sell it. Give the money to charity or something. I just don't want to anything with it anymore," he said. This is so painful... I walked to the door. But before I went out, I turned around and said, "This is not the end, my love. I'm not giving up on you." I opened the door and left. 

I looked at the key on my hand. I won't sell the car. There is someone who would want this. Someone who I need to repay... I hope Eunhyuk would take it as my apology.