Review for chartreuse "Terrible Things"

Title: Terrible Things

Author: chartreuse

Title, Description/ Foreword: 9/10 

I am not very fond of the title really. In other words, if I came across this fic, I wouldn’t really be compelled to read it or the title. It seems a bit cliché, but it is all right. The description and foreword on the other hand are really good. There was a bit mysterious feeling and you could see it was a really emotional story also.

Plot: 25/30

Originality: 8/10

The originality of the plot is okay. I don’t really see many family Fanfics, so that is a plus. Although there is the usual girlfriend getting sick and then dying to make the story line a bit more cliché.

Enticement: 8/10

This story didn’t really have any action in it and is actually really mellow. Usually if this is the case for a longer story, I would have stopped reading it. This however is an oneshot, so most of them are either really fluffy or really mellow. It would be wonderful if you could step out of that box to make an oneshot “never made before”

Functionality: 9/10- (Chances to formulate and make ideas)

Since this story is a one-shot, it is a bit hard to have enticement but you did it spectacularly! You withheld the information on what happened to Minzy until around the end to give the readers some time to think about what happened to her!

Grammar/Spelling: 15/15

I could see that you used some type of Word program because your grammar is just superb, and if you didn’t then it is amazing! The way you used your spelling and punctuation was awesome!

Characters: 33/40

Development: 8/10

The characters pretty much stayed the same, with the dad still frustrated but he did change a bit at the end. This part of the grading is particularly hard for oneshots because you don’t have any time to change the character much either!

Uniqueness: 7/10

The characters in this story aren’t very unique either Going back to the originality of the story, this is the same. All the characters had the same cliché personalities and the same cliché story lines. Although sometimes this situation isn't that bad so it all depends on the reader. Some readers like this type of cheesy and cliché parts but grading on this part of the rubric, it is very poor.

Realistic: 10/10

Although it is not very unique, it is realistic in a way. There are probably families with this type of personalities, with the husband yearning for the wife to be alive and the curious son wondering where his mother is.

Functionality: 8/10

Again since this is an oneshot, this part is very hard to grade. We can’t really formulate ideas very easily without it already there or coming right up.

Structure: 29/30

Organization: 10/10

The organization of the story, I would have to say is really good! You showed the son growing up in different years, and sometimes made it jump back to where the mother dies without confusing us!

Topic Standings: 9/10

The topic standing is okay and didn’t stray from the topic! It showed how Seunghyun was burdened by this death of his wife and sometimes even openly showed it to his son also.

Flow: 10/10

The flow was superb and was very easy to follow. There are dates to make it easier for a person to read and follow the story through!

Overall Enjoyment: 19/20

I would have to say that I really enjoyed the story! It tugs at your heartstrings and makes you think about how painful and wonderful love can actually be!

Total: 130/145

Ending Comments

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