I stared off out the window silently, Howon glancing up at me every few moments from his magazine. I couldn’t help but laugh a little at the thought he was probably only looking at the pictures. “Why do I stay with him?” I question in a faint hush as I clenched the throw pillow on his couch as tight as I could. “I mean it’s not like… we have children or anything.” Howon sighed as he closed the magazine and tossed it on the table “Maybe because you love him?” I paused for a moment and shrugged.

It was mid November; it was getting colder as the days grew on. The weekend of our second anniversary as ironic as it seemed, Woohyun arranged a ‘small’ gathering at my favourite lounge ‘Dashi’ inviting one of my best-friends who had just returned to Korea and Haerin, just the fact those two people were invited made me take notice in Woohyun’s intentions, though I was yet to know if they were honourable. On the ride there, Woohyun had blind folded me insisting this was to be a huge ‘surprise’ and that’s just how it was as he removed his tie from around my eyes because Boram was the only person in the room who screamed it, making her presence immediately known. Quickly we rushed towards each other with open arms, slightly crying as we commented on one another’s outfit and hair and how different we had looked since we last spent time together.

“We have to stop doing this, I can’t go years without seeing you like this, its crazy!” Boram passed me a drink; it was obvious she was on her third already. By the time we reached sixteen I’m sure Boram could out drink any guy I knew, I myself never tried despite her constant taunt ‘Keep up Chaeeun, you can’t be drunk after one bottle of soju!’ I never could keep up with her though; she was too much of everything I wasn’t. We sat at the bar catching up while Haerin joined us, obviously bored. Woohyun was busy catering to his own friends. I found it kind of funny that nobody except Haerin noticed we barely spoke at all during our own anniversary party.

After Haerin wandered away due to lack of interest, it took Boram mere seconds to transform back into her real self. “Oh man, honestly you have got to hook me up with cute boys. I saw Dongwoo, who got totally gorgeous by the way – talking to some really cute guy…” I zoned out for a moment as I scanned the room, noticing Dongwoo and Woohyun in deep conversation that seemed to be slightly heated and turned my attention back to Boram “Make it happen, okay?” I laughed a little unsure of what to say; thankfully Howon approached me asking to speak to me in private for a moment. We moved a few feet away from Boram before his face became serious and distressed, pulling me closer he whispered in my ear the words I didn’t expect or want to hear: “Soojin is here.”

My heart began to pound inside my chest as anxiety poured over me quickly; I wasn’t sure what emotion I was feeling. Was it anger or fear? While I was trying to figure it out Howon disappeared through the dense crowd. “Chaeeun, oh my gosh, tell me you put in a good word!” Boram squealed as I felt her arm link into mine, I turned to her in confusion “What? What are you talking about?” She sighed loudly and shook me gently “Hello! The guy! What’s his name? Is he single? Is he interested?” I panicked quickly as her words registered in my head; Dongwoo was talking to… “Howon…? He’s taken!” I snapped uncontrollably with a loud nervous laugh – I took a deep breath and calmed myself in milliseconds “He has a girlfriend already, I mean...” Boram’s face quickly turned sour as she frowned “Who cares! I’m only here for like three more days – I’m sure he can keep a secret.” I could feel my heart tighten at her words, my breaths became forced and shallow and it grew even worse: “Who has a girlfriend?” I turned to see Woohyun in my presence with Haerin who had returned to ask me an important question.

“Howon has a girlfriend” Boram sighed with a pout, Woohyun took a swig of his beer and laughed “No, he’s single – Said he liked some girl but other than that… Who told you he wasn’t single?” I wanted to smack Woohyun as hard as I could but contained myself by the horrible habit of munching my nails “Chaeeun did.” Woohyun raised a brow and looked at me as if I had said the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. “Oh – Did I say Howon? I must’ve had way too much to drink. I think I meant Myungsoo” It was a believable lie, but what stumped me was why I had to lie in the first place. They didn’t know though, they both laughed and as soon as I knew it he had dragged her off across the room to meet Howon.

“Woohyun, how can you say it was anybodies fault?” I screamed loudly as I chased after him down the stairs, I had never seen a side of him that was so… different, I felt as I was standing outside of my body watching two strangers, because I couldn’t recognize us for a minute, is this who you were all along?

“I didn’t use the term ‘anybody’ I said your. It’s your fault.” I could only yell over his voice and he only yelled louder over mine. It was inaudible. Just as I had turned my back to leave, to cry, to vent, to get away from him - I could feel his hands tighten around my arms. All I could remember was the force from the wall against my back as I looked into his dark angry eyes “You didn’t want a baby in the first place, you probably wished this would happen. Are you happy yet Chaeeun?” It was the only thing I could make out and it silenced me instantly, he let go of me and turned to walk away. My fell to my knees in tears, it wasn’t like that – I swear it wasn’t.

I couldn’t breathe anymore; everything was closing in on me. I quickly apologized to Haerin and pushed past her as I headed for the door not even grabbing my jacket as I rushed into the cold dark night. I walked as fast as I could away from the lounge, my arms wrapped around myself tightly – It was only until I heard Howon calling me that I stopped.“Where are you going?” He asked trying to catch his breath as if he had ran after me “Why do you care? Shouldn’t you be in there chatting up Boram?” I could feel my bottom lips trembling, though I couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or the fact I wanted to burst into tears of frustration. “Why are you getting mad at me? And plus, I’m out here talking to you.” He laughed as he said this, sliding off his coat then adjusting it over my bare shoulders. I couldn’t even help it now; the tears were falling on their own, smudging my mascara ever so slightly. It was only then I realized Howon was in a suit, something I had never seen him in before “You clean up nice.” I sniffled through the tears, letting out a faint laugh “Too bad you don’t…” He shook his head trying his best not to show weakness in smile “Really? Howon... Do you think I’m ugly?” He looked me up and down for a moment then into my eyes “Terribly ugly.” I smiled and turned, pretending to walk away though he grabbed my wrist tightly and pulled me back towards him, my heart raced faster as we inched nearer.

“I’m married…” I muttered joking, wrapping my arms around his neck “Well thank god you're ugly, or we would have a problem...” And ever so gently his lips brushed against mine. If two wrongs don’t make a right – Why didn’t this feel all that bad?

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@-inspirit-b2uty- THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU :)