“This is the final call for flight 402 non-stop to New York City; please have your boarding passes ready.” I glared down to the ticket in hand. This was it, if I was going to go it was now. I brushed away my tears and took hand of my carry-on bags after passing my ticket to the flight attendant. “Han Chaeeun!” I turned my head quickly to see nobody except you, standing on a chair with arms extended. “I want to spend my life with you!” You called loudly causing everyone in the terminal to stare, I couldn’t help but smile, I made up my mind right then. I dropped my bags and ran to you as quick as I could, letting you pick me up and hold me tightly as I wrapped my arms around your neck… Letting you kiss away my tears. Everyone looked at us like we were crazy. We weren’t though, we were just in love.

I spent the rest of the day curled up on the couch watching television; trying to avoid every channel I know I would see his face. By the time 9:00PM rolled around I was surprised to hear a knock on the door. Did you forget your keys again? That’s just me being optimistic, I should know better than that. You wouldn’t be home that early. I quickly adjusted my blanket over my shoulders as I opened the door. Howon stood on the other side, arms full of paper bags – his face tense and emotionless. My eyes widened as I looked up at him standing on my doorstep alone “Oh… Hi what are you doing here?” I questioned, trying my best not to sound rude. He pushed the door open and stepped in past me “Woohyun sent me over.” He murmured as he walked towards the kitchen, I stood there for a moment dumbfounded and locked the door before following him.

I watched him silently from the doorway as he unloaded the bags; it was takeout. “Woohyun said he won’t be coming home tonight. He has… Something to do I guess.” I nodded casually; I was never close to Howon. We didn’t speak as much as I did with the others, mostly because when I was around he never spoke. He took off his jacket and spread it across the arms of the chair before taking a seat. “He told me to tell you happy birthday.” I smiled faintly as I walked over to the table peering in one of the bags to see a small white cake, the name on it addressed to me

“It’s not my birthday…” I stammered, my eyes becoming foggy – “It was two weeks ago.” Howon sighed as he stood to his feet again, looking down at me with discomfort as I forced myself not to cry.

“You already know don’t you.” His words brought me shock as I felt my airway getting tighter, it was harder to breathe. My face became hot and flushed as I fell to my knees. “Water” I cried quickly, panicked Howon reached over me out of my view – then kneeled down in front of me giving me the half full glass.

As soon as I brought the glass to my mouth and felt the liquid pour down my throat I knew something was wrong. It was burning; he grabbed the wrong glass. I spit out the mouthfuls of liquid all over myself as I began to cough aggressively “That was soju!” I croaked between coughs. He glared from me to the glass trying to hide his smile I could see mustering up “You drink soju… by the glassful?” For a moment, embarrassment began to form and the only thing I could do was laugh and then he did too. There we sat on the kitchen floor, me covered in soju, soju all over the floor and all we could do was laugh.

By the time we finished dinner and the belated birthday cake we had talked about everything we could without bringing up the affair. Though I knew it would be brought up soon. We poured glasses of red wine and sat out in the backyard, our feet dipped in the pool, it wasn’t a hot night, but nice for August.

“How long have you known?” He as if it were an everyday topic, which made me feel slightly more comfortable. I suspected it three months after we lost Byunghee, which was ten months ago. “I’ve known for seven months.” He nodded slowly and took a sip of his wine. “It’s my fault though – that he cheats I mean.” He sighed as he leaned back onto his elbows “Why do you think that?” I was crying now, though I forced myself to smile just for the chance that he might not notice the tears if I smiled.

“Yeobo, you know what?” I looked up from my portfolio of glossy pictures to see him watching me with a coy smile; I raised a brow signalling him to continue “I think we should have a baby.” I smiled faintly with a look of confusion across my face “A baby?” He nodded as he sat next to me on the sofa “Yeah, why not? We’re married now we should have a few.” I glanced down nervously to my pictures than back to him with a weak smile…

By the time it reached 1:00AM we were standing at the front door bidding our farewells “Thank you or coming over – and listening.” I said wearily still unable to make eye contact with him, he nodded with a faint smile as he turned to walk down the steps “Howon, um… About… What I told you – You won’t tell anybody right?” He stopped and turned back to me reaching out to grab my hand “Chaeeun, you know I won’t tell… And you’re not a bad person.” He kissed me on the cheek softly and got in his car, speeding away into the night. I can only turn away shut the door and close my weary eyes and just for a moment I don’t believe I harbor unrequited love you, but only just for a moment.

for clarifications sake, yeobo is a term affection used by married couples and soju is a popular korean alcohol