Upon the Tainted Sorrow,

Today, the snowflakes fall so harshly.

Upon the Tainted Sorrow,

Today, even the strong wind gusts.

The Tainted Sorrow is

Just like a fox’s hooded fur.

The Tainted Sorrow is

Covered by snowflakes and it cowers.

The Tainted Sorrow has

Nothing to desire and nothing to wish.

The Tainted Sorrow has

A dream of death to its wary self.

Upon the Tainted Sorrow,

Trembling like a pitiful soul.

Upon the Tainted Sorrow,

Nowhere to belong, the sun sets......

The day we got into that very accident was the last day I ever celebrated my birthday, and the last day someone ever celebrated my birthday with me. 

Upon the Tainted Sorrow. 

I still remember the title of the japanese poem which I read the night after my dad's funeral. The one I read before I drowned myself in the mirror the whole night trying to come up with different smiles that won't look unreal to others, a smile that can hide my sufferings, a smile that will never show my weakness, a smile that can truly comfort me, until the sun had set. 

The sun sets, I am no longer able to cry again.

The setting of the Sun was nothing but supposedly a facade until suddenly, it was slowly succumbing to the warmth that no longer exists, enough to turn the snowflakes into raindrops. Because before the sun had set, the snowflakes were nothing but a pitiful symbol of the broken souls that we are, a reminder that a tainted sorrow like me has no way out of this cruel world, that a tainted sorrow that is me will keep rejecting the snowflakes attempt to comfort me, because no matter how much the snowflakes pile up, it will never change the fact that I am soiled, that it is cold, and that it is scary to live. 

Has there always been a reason to continue living in this world?

The sun did set, even if it was never real. I faced my mom with the said facade, an attempt to cheer her up despite dad's death, but who was I kidding? I was met with nothing but the coldest stare and the harshest words.

"Bold of you to smile knowing you have blood on your hands. You killed your dad, remember that."

However, seeing the snowflakes falling freely with no regrets, pure and white so innocent, willing to cover a soiled sorrow that is me, the sun did really set, slowly. The true warmth that ceased to exist is suddenly back, the snowflakes turned to raindrops, washing away the grime, the soil, and the tainted sorrow that is me.

And now, genuinely smiling in front of her, never a facade anymore, the Sun is shining genuinely, just for her: the rain.

She was snowflakes turned raindrops. She will always be and meant to be rain.

Jang Wonyoung is.

But why is the warmth of the Sun only real in front of the said Rain?

Did the Sun really set or was it just halfway?

...

I was over the moon, however there's always an obstacle.

"You threatened Wonyoung, didn't you?" man she really doesn't like me AT ALL!

"And on what grounds?" there's a small chuckle I let out before asking back a question. 

Fiery. The look in her eyes is burning with- hold on, is that jealousy that I see?

"Liz," Wonyoung started to cut in because if not there would probably be a burnt puppy right now.

Liz looked away from me as Wonyoung held her wrist to calm her down. It probably went unnoticed by Wonyoung but I definitely did catch a glimpse of Liz's light blushes.

Is she perhaps thinking that I am taking her best friend away?

This is very amusing to see. It's not like I asked to be a best friend of Wonyoung right from the start. I mean, it will get there, right? I just wanted to get close to her at the right phase and fortunately she said she wants to know me better and I was just so delighted!

I felt like a giddy kid receiving an award or jellies after doing a good deed. That good dead was making her smile and the reward is I can now be friends with her. Simple as that.

"You don't own Wonyoung, mind you."

"Oh my God, not you too An Yujin. Please stop both of you." 

As if her words have such power over us, we both started to sit up straight in silence. 

"And Liz, she didn't threaten me."

Like most kids arguing, I stick out my tongue in front of Liz as a way of mocking her and she only rolled her eyes at me. Wonyoung could only shake her head, probably defeated.

"Whatever, the two of you won't be fighting once she's here," Wonyoung suddenly said.

"Huh?"

And as if on cue, a voice startled me from behind and-

"Hey what is this- Yujin?!"

HUH?!

"Yuriiiiiiiiiiii!" Wonyoung rushed all the way to her in a hug and I am just here, confused.

I looked at Liz to see her eyeing the new person, or more like judging because I assume she's just as confused as me.

"Wait why are you- and who are you?" Yuri first pointed at me but decided to brush it off and suddenly pointed to Liz.

"She's Liz! The one I was talking about!" Wonyoung happily exclaimed.

"Okay okay wait nice meeting you Liz you look so pretty like a doll but wait, please enlighten me what is this person doing here?" that's a glare, directly at me.

Yuri is ing glaring at me, after I treated her to many ice creams before, how dare she?!

"Hey hey hey, I am just as confused as you are? I never knew you knew Wonyoung," I said.

"We're literally the best of friends since diapers," Yuri said.

How come I only found out now?! 

"Wait, how did you know Yujin?" Wonyoung asked.

"And I'm supposed to ask you the same question, is she the new friend you're talking about?" 

If having Liz to argue this morning isn't enough, adding Yuri to the mix is like the secret formula to making my head explode. These two cats don't like me at all and I can sense enough.

Although, for Yuri, that's a different story.

"Yena is my best friend if you know Ye-"

"-Yena unnie is your what now?!" Wonyoung suddenly asked.

"You even know Yena?" I asked back.

For some reason, I felt like the back of my head was being burned so I turned around to see Liz glaring again. Oh right, she isn't liking this at all of course, but is it my fault that the world is so small?

And the conversation did continue with us finding out that Yena is actually friends with Wonyoung too because of Yuri but for some reason I never heard anything from Yena about it I felt so betrayed.

Yuri is probably just annoyed at me because, of course, I am Yena's best friend, and she definitely hates everything that has to do with Yena right now.

If those two will just stop beating around the bush and start dating each other, most of their arguments which always result in days or weeks of not talking to each other would have been resolved by now.

"Liz I finally met you! I heard a lot about you from Nyeongie!"

"What about me?" I dramatically sighed.

"Well maybe Wonyoung doesn't like you so I don't hear about you at all from her," why is Yuri bei