—

[Jungsoo's Pov] 

I stared blankly at the wall, trying to process everything and felt so tired. I'm grateful for Heechul because he stayed with me. My eyes landed on him who had been sleeping in the sofa. After I cried my heart out, Heechul decided to stay overnight because he wanted to check on me.

“Thank you....” I softly whispered as I tucked a few strands of his hair behind his ear. 

I held his hand; it was so cold and seems he's freezing too. Although I don't want to move, I weakly stood up and went to my room. I feel so weak, I couldn't even gather my strength and felt like my knees were going to give up anytime sooner. This house feels so empty; every corner of it, I always remember my father.

He left early this morning while I was sleeping. He didn't even say goodbye or wake me up. When I woke up and went downstairs, I found a note he had written saying...

'Jungsoo, 

        I know you think I'm abandoning you but son, I'm not. I need to provide everything and make your life better. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'd make sure you would have my full support and guide you through out. Once you graduated, come with me and home. I'm so proud of you, Jungsoo.'

I put the blanket on his body and placed a kiss on his forehead. After observing him for a moment, I laid down and settled myself onto the floor because I didn't want to leave him. I decided to sleep there instead of sleeping in my room.

But...

I couldn't even close my eyes; I kept forcing myself to sleep but I really couldn't. I shifted my position and closed my eyes for the nth time... but the sadness and darkness are eating me up; I don't know how to escape and instead of pushing them away, I let them in and let them be my companion for a night.

—

I slowly opened my eyes and the sun was coming in as someone opened up the curtains. I frantically got up and looked around hoping my father came back but got disappointed in return.

“Good morning.” Heechul greeted me and handed me the coffee he made.

At least he didn't leave me.

“Good morning.” I groaned and stretched out my arms, a smile crept into my lips as I smell the strong aroma of his coffee.

Heechul put it on the table as he plopped down and cupped my cheeks so I leaned into his touch, his palm is warm and so comforting. I kissed it and bore my eyes on him.

“You're smiling again.” He said, tracing his fingers across my lips.

“Because you are here.” I replied. He pulled me into a tight hug and gently caressed my back.

“I'm always here for you.” He whispered. We remained like that for a long time and suddenly felt his tears down to my shirt. He's crying.

“Shhhh. I'll be fine.” I assured him. He didn't respond and only his sobs could be heard. I've never expected he would cry because of me.

And it breaks my heart.

“Are you sure you'll be fine?” He worriedly asked. He needs to get back home to check on his grandmother and even ask me to come with him but I refused. I want to be alone and regain myself again. I feel like my energy is running out and have to recharge.

“Don't worry about me. I can handle this hmmm? I'll call and text you.” I said, assuring him again and again. He looks really worried and doesn't want to leave me. I held his hand tightly and gave him the best smile of me. I don't really feel like smiling but for him, I did.

“If you need someone, please don't hesitate to call me cause you know, I'll be with you in a beat.”

—

In the following days after what I have been through, I received a bad news again but this time it wasn't about me.. It's about Heechul.

The rain is pouring down, I can't help but think of how the weather is showing sympathy for what's happening right now. I managed to survive and finally got myself back like I used to but now we're facing another problem and a painful loss.

I'm already in front of his house; the light is off and the curtain is closed. Everything seems dark outside and I know it's the same thing inside. He doesn't want to let people in and shoving them away.

*knock*knock*

I waited.. I waited for him to open up the door and he thankfully did. His eyes were puffy and when I looked straight into his eyes, it was unreadable.

“Can I come in?” I hesitantly said. He didn't say a word and just turned his back, disappearing from the darkness. I slowly opened the door a little bit and made my way inside.

I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I know he'd get mad at me but I still did it without asking for his permission. I the lights and opened up the curtains; that's where I spotted him lying down on the floor, he was curled up and hugging his knees against his chest. He looks messed up and his surroundings too. His clothes were all over the floor, bottles, snacks and pictures.

“Hey... Let's take a bath.” I said, kneeling down next to him.

Silence...

“You have to wash up.” I added but got no response from him. I too, want to breakdown and cry along with him but I have to be strong. When I was at my lowest point of my life, he became my strength and now that he needs me; I will do the same and be strong not for me but for Heechul.

I know how close they are and she's the one who made his life complete. She's the only one he has but now she's gone; I have to step in and protect Heechul like she used to when she was still alive.

“Heec