Crazy eyed, loud, and stealthy, Jaejoong couldn't get the image out of his head. Every day he tried to forget. Every day they'd come back--tens of them, hundreds! But he couldn't let his fear show, fear and anger. When they came to his apartment or his house, he refused to look out the windows because he'd see them there, all night, every night, waiting and watching his every move, and loving the sight of him being trapped inside his room, wondering when they'd go away. He was like a frightened beautiful animal on display, but he wasn't an animal. He was human, with the same needs as everyone, a desire for personal space and privacy; even if for just a moment, he'd like to be left alone for once. 

It hadn't always been like this. When he was still young and loved his fans--which he still does now but with a little less vigor--the singer would open the windows and reach out to those crazy fangirls outside his apartment. Brushing fingertips over their palms or just holding to their hands for a moment, Jaejoong enjoyed the attention fans gave him, but he was also confused as to why they were there outside his house, waiting for him. Though he was amazed and shocked, Jaejoong didn't bother much about how these fans had found their dorm. But now he knew better. Year after year, he noticed the taxis behind the band's van. It wasn't just one taxi, but nearly twenty of them. They followed so closely behind each other, a waiting car crash about to happen, and sometimes it did happen with the members caught in between. Over the years, Jaejoong became accustomed to the death taxis, but he never became anymore comfortable knowing they were there with girls inside starring hungrily through the windows at the back of Jaejoong's head, watching everything he did. 

So today, he anticipated it. 

Stepping out of the airplane portal, Jaejoong shouldered his bag, which only contained a couple books, an extra jacket, and some ramyun. The idol didn't bring anything expensive on him. He knew better than that. He wore simple clothes--a T-shirt and jeans--and hadn't even bothered combing his thick hair at all. To hide the fear and the bags under his eyes, big, thick sunshades were perched on his nose. 

Behind him trailed the infamous YooSu couple. Though they weren't romantically a couple in real life, there was a brotherly spark between them that always had them gravitating toward each other. Being an empathetic person though, Yoochun tended to stick as close as possible to Jaejoong, who had a wavering, unstable table of emotions, ready to collapse at the most unexpected moments. Junsu had enough self esteem to handle himself, so Yoochun naturally became Jaejoong's guardian angel after the split between DBSK and JYJ. 

Unlike Jaejoong, Junsu and Yoochun both carried expensive items on their persons. For Yoochun, his bag and his wristwatch probably cost the most. Because he's known for endorsing so many products and naturally has the rich boy face, many assume that he's wealthy, which is nothing short of the truth, so he keeps his image by humbly showing off what he's got. Other than those two items, Micky's things were worthless money-wise; sentimentally, his things were the most precious items on earth to Yoochun, whether it be a present from Yoohwan or something from another member. As for Junsu, he possessed many expensive things with him from all the shopping he'd done in Japan. Most of Junsu's things were stowed in his actual luggage, buried under mounds of clothes. Most of the things he'd bought were clothes. On his person, Junsu's rings cost the most. Though they had been given to him by their stylist, they cost a great deal to have it specifically designed and made from expensive materials in that fashion to fit him. 

Also something that set Jaejoong apart from Yoochun and Junsu were their clothes. Jaejoong wore a very simple style, something that said he was too tired to care. However, once again keeping up his wealthy image, Yoochun wore a leather jacket, a T-shirt, jeans, a hat, and inexpensive shades. His outfit told the world that he was weary but cared about his outward appearance. The hat and glasses symbolized his wish to not be recognized and left alone by the mob of fans for once. Drawing attention away from Yoochun and Jaejoong, Junsu purposely wore fancy clothes. Knowing Yoochun and Jaejoong's wish of being normal people for once, Junsu took mercy on them and tried to draw the crowd's attention away from them toward his own flashy clothes. His style wasn't as tasteful as Jaejoong's or Yoochun's, but it was enough to draw eyes his way. With a thin V-neck underneath his loose grey jacket, Junsu made the fans admire the view of his chest. And the ripped jeans didn't help much either. His outfit screamed "look at me". The grin on his face told everyone he was happy, but inside, he felt uncomfortable. Junsu loved the attention people gave him, but he was being recognized for his body, which was not something he wanted. He wanted to be remembered by his voice and his dancing, not his duckbutt. But as long as Yoochun and Jaejoong were smiling, he would too. 

Personal items were kept close, in their hands, never in their bags. The three even gave their manager their wallets sometimes because fans would reach into their back pocket and try to take it. Things were always stolen from them, especially when in crowded places. And besides, the less pocket items they had on them, the faster it would be to go through security check. 

Yoochun put a hand on Jaejoong's shoulder. "Ready for them?" he asked, referring to the loud, waiting crowd of fans outside. 

"I feel like dying," Jaejoong murmured, frowning deeply. 

The trio cringed as soon as they walked out of the building. There must've been hundreds of fans already waiting for JYJ to step out of the airport. Screams of delight and amazement erupted as Jaejoong pushed his shades further up his nose, head down. Yoochun, also with his head down, raised his eyes for a moment and caught sight of one of the girls. Grinning widely with fiery eyes of insanity, she gazed right through the lenses of Yoochun's glasses. He shuddered, but nevertheless, he lifted his shaking hand and waved at the fans slightly. They screamed louder, if that was possible.

Sensing Yoochun's uneasiness, Junsu dragged the attention towards him by waving both hands high in the air with a big fake grin that he'd perfected in the mirror plaster on his face. Almost instantly after they'd crossed to the crosswalk of the road, hands shot out of the crowd to try and grab or touch the members. Junsu, who stood last behind Yoochun, got most of the touching, but he only laughed it off nervously, gently pushing a fan away if it became too uncomfortable. 

Jaejoong sighed sadly, annoyed that the light wouldn't turn red so that they could cross the road. It was a cloudless day, albeit dark and gloomy. So early in the morning it was that the sun was barely awake. A faint silver tint lined the bottom of the sky, a single line of coming brightness, but what could be so bright right now? Being touched and d, full out violated in public, Jaejoong tried to ignore it all, but sometimes it became too uncomfortable. And he knew that he wasn't the one being touched the most; Junsu was, because he took a lot of the abuse for Jaejoong. 

A hand s around Jaejoong's waist and he flinched visibly. Yunho's hand had sometimes wrapped around the singer's waist in such a way for protection or comfort, or sometimes fanservice, but feeling the hand on his hip and having it not be Yunho made him uneasy and squeamish. Turning around abruptly, Jaejoong gently pushed the fan away. "Please don't touch me," he pleaded softly, a firm tone of anger and discomfort in his voice.

The girl with eyes like a zombie and grin like a vampire only glared back with her nerve-racking stare and creepy smile that seemed unaffected by Jaejoong's scolding. The idol turned toward the road again and the hand brushed against him again. He sighed deeply. No amount of begging would make this stop. 

Junsu nearly ran across the street as soon as they were allowed to cross. Upon reaching the van, some fans dispersed to find their heavily paid for taxis that follow the band's van as some other fans crowded around the van, desperate to make the stars stay for as long as possible. Yoochun had to forcefully push fingers and hands away from the car door before slamming it shut and locking it.

Junsu climbed into the back seat, sitting down shakily, huddling to himself. Jaejoong frowned, worried. Maybe allowing Junsu to take all the touching from Jaejoong wasn't such a good idea. Yoochun put a light hand on Junsu's knee. "Are you okay, Junsu-ah?" he asked concerned.

The light brown haired man just whimpered slightly and shook his head as he stared out the window. Feeling guilty, Jaejoong reached back and patted Junsu's soft hair lovingly. It was because of him, JYJ's maknae, that Jaejoong wasn't as shaken by the groping hands, but Junsu, having a prominent and a defined S-line, had received all the harsh treatment and invasion of personal space. Yoochun climbed into the back seat with Junsu and held him against his chest, hoping that the man would stop shivering with the presence of someone he knew and trusted beside him.

Glaring angrily at the bleak sky that now shone a bright streak of white light signaling the coming arrival of a dull and sleepy sun, Jaejoong growled lowly to himself. He turned in his seat to see his bandmates already sleeping, Junsu's head on Yoochun's shoulder and Yoochun's cheek pressed against Junsu's hair. No one would be able to tell that the pair was unconsciously worried in their sleep, but Jaejoong could. Hands clasped tightly together, the oldest noticed the deep crescents in Junsu's palms, slowly reddening along the outside. Yoochun constantly bit his lip, obviously nervous and worried. Huddled close together, Jaejoong could tell that they wished nothing more than for all of the fans--the sasaeng fans--to go away. 

Biting his own lip, chewing until the skin was swollen and bruised, Jaejoong fought the urge to just jump out of the car and scream. He wanted to expend his voice until he was hoarse, until he couldn't sing, until he couldn't speak. And when he couldn't speak, his company would no longer have any use for him as a singer or an MC. No one would hear his soft and beautiful voice anymore. Then he would finally be fired, and Jaejoong could run away with the money he had made over the years. To a place where it was only him, isolated, maybe on a hill somewhere, with beautiful scenery--Japan maybe--that's where Jaejoong would live. And no one would find him and harass him. He could finally live a normal life... But then... What of Yoochun and Junsu? And Changmin and Yunho? Would they continue to be CJES's or Sooman's singing and dancing monkeys? Jaejoong couldn't do that to his friends. 

So the only thing he could do now was pray and hope that everything would turn out okay for JYJ and TVXQ. And so in the gloominess of the outside weather, nearly as dark as Jaejoong's thoughts, with the conscious knowledge of those horrid taxis following, the lead singer of JYJ, and formerly TVXQ, could only sit and ponder one question over and over as he fell asleep: How much longer would the members of TVXQ and JYJ last until they were driven insane?