Junsu dashed into Jaejoong's room, shaking the older awake. "Hyung! Hyung! My favorite jacket is missing! Hyung!!!" he squealed.

Jaejoong turned toward the wall, weakly batting away Junsu's hands. It was too early in the morning for this much noise and complaining. 

"Let me sleep, Junsu-ah," he muttered into his pillow.

"But hyung! My jacket! I think a fan took it!!" he whined.

"It's in the kitchen, Junsu!!!" Yoochun screamed from the other side of the dorm. 

"Thank you, Yoochun!!" he yelled back as he exited Jaejoong's room, leaving the door slightly ajar. 

Glad that Junsu was gone, Jaejoong curled up underneath his blankets. A sharp throbbing in his head rendered him incapable of getting out of bed. Even gazing at the sliver of light streaming into his room, hurt Jaejoong's head and eyes. The brunette was too tired to think about what lay in store for him that day, or what the fans had planned for him. 

"Hyung?" It was Yoochun.

Jaejoong mumbled something.

"What?" Yoochun sat at the edge of Jaejoong's bed.

"I think I'm sick," he rasped.

Exhaling gently, Yoochun glared outside the giant window next to the bed. "Okay," he finally answered. "I'll go tell the managers. Stay home and rest. Either Junsu or I will come back around lunchtime to give you something to eat and make sure you're alright."

Jaejoong tried to shake his head, protesting against Yoochun or Junsu skipping his schedule for him, but even just blinking made Jaejoong want to cry in pain, so he kept quiet. Yoochun pat Jaejoong softly on the head before exiting the room. 


Jaejoong slowly opened his eyes. The faint hint of salt water and fresh grass wafted over his nose. A bright blue sky with stark white clouds hung above his head. Sitting up slowly, the singer surveyed his surroundings. He was sitting on soft, green grass. Small, colorful flowers dotted the emerald around him. Behind Jaejoong was a small cottage where his dog was sitting on the porch calmly taking in the fresh air. Before the singer was a cliff with a calm, blue ocean below. 

In simple words, Jaejoong had found his paradise. 

"Oppa!!" a girl called out. 

Is she my wife? He thought to himself. As she neared Jaejoong began to make out her features. She had long hair, soft brown eyes, and smooth skin, but something wasn't right. The way she smiled... The way she looked at him...

The sasaeng fan...

Jaejoong realized that he had nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide. Panicking, Jaejoong had no idea what to do as the girl finally reached the clearing he was at and nearly tackled him to the ground with a hug. 

"Oppa, did you think you could get away so easily?" she asked softly, her voice like nails on a chalkboard. 

Jaejoong tried to push her away, but her insanity was stronger than his fear. Her eyes were bloodshot, open so wide that you wouldn't think she was Asian. Her lips were permanently stretched, leaving laugh lines along the side of . Makeup was applied horribly--mascara out to her ears, lipstick on her cheek, and absolutely no BB Cream, he noticed. The girl's frizzed and tangled hair whipped around in the wind. She looked like a clown that'd survived a car crash. 

"You thought you could run away, Oppa?" she repeated.

Jaejoong shook and it took him a while to find his voice before shouting, "Get away from me!!"

Wrestling with the fingers gripping his shirt, Jaejoong tried to escape the clutches of the crazy fan. He wrenched her hands away from him and ended up falling backwards. 

"Why are you running, Oppa?" She towered over Jaejoong, glaring down at him. 

Jaejoong abruptly stood up. Glancing around in every direction, he realized that the girl could capture him any which way he ran... Except one. Before the girl could move, Jaejoong headed toward the cliff.

"Oppa! Oppa!" she called, but all Jaejoong cared about was getting away from her, from everything. 

He ran and jumped off the ledge of the cliff. 


Jaejoong woke with sweat covering his body and a heavy feeling in his stomach. Terrified and shocked, Jaejoong couldn't move. It felt as if someone had just wrapped all of the world's greatest fears into one feminine package and left him to fend for himself against the unbeatable power. Sitting up slowly, Jaejoong willed himself to calm his breathing, but it still didn't help the pit in his stomach. The singer glanced at the clock, noting that it was nearly noon and either Junsu or Yoochun would be back soon to take care of his ill body. 

Thinking of food, imagining the smell and taste of healthy and delicious foods that his friends would bring home for him... Made Jaejoong want to vomit. He knew his stomach couldn't handle food yet, and after that nightmare, Jaejoong was too shaken to eat, scared sick. He sat for a moment longer, the picture of the devil sasaeng girl still fresh in his mind. Suddenly, the pit in his stomach churned and his throat tightened painfully. A pain stabbed through him as Jae felt his body about ready to spew out his worries and fears. 

Holding a hand to his mouth, Jaejoong ignored his throbbing headache and stumbled out of bed. He used his other hand to steady himself along the wall in the hallway, gliding past the many clothes Junsu forgot to put in his room. Though the bathroom was only a few steps from Jaejoong's own room, the walk now seemed longer. Jaejoong reached the end of the corridor and pushed off the wall, flinging himself into the spacious bathroom. Instantly, he gave up everything in his stomach into the toilet. He retched until his throat was raw, nose was burning, and stomach was just as pained throwing up yesterday day's meals as it had been before. 

"Hyung!!" a high pitched voice called. Junsu. 

Jaejoong groaned as he leaned against the wall, lolling his head back.

"Jaejoong hyung!!" Junsu called again.

"Bathroom!" he tried to shout, but the word was swallowed back into his throat, causing his stomach to upset again and once more he threw up into the toilet. 

Junsu, hearing the sounds of Jaejoong vomiting his insides out, quickly headed to the bathroom, putting aside the groceries and other items on the table. Upon entering the bathroom, Junsu held his breath because of the stench of the rancid odor. He flushed the toilet as Jaejoong slowly stood and washed his mouth out in the sink.

"How are you, Joongie-ah?" Junsu asked, rubbing a comforting hand up and down Jaejoong's back. 

Jaejoong only shook his head. Junsu frowned at the gesture but said nothing. The younger guided Jaejoong into the kitchen area. 

"There was a box outside the door. It's addressed to us," Junsu said, handing Jaejoong the giant package.

Jaejoong frowned, bothered by the fact that it had no address on it. "This wasn't sent through the mail," he said plainly.

"Maybe a fan dropped it off," Junsu answered with a shrug. "They do that."

As Junsu stalked into the kitchen to put some items away in the fridge, Jaejoong took up the scissors on the table and cut the tape off of the box. Setting the scissors and tape on the table, he pulled the flaps of the box open. He pulled out a heavy thermos of soup, still steaming hot. A note was attached saying, "Joongie oppa! I heard you were sick, so I made you soup!"

Jaejoong felt a shiver crawl up his spine. He only found out this morning that he felt sick. How could this person make soup in such a short amount of time and leave it at his doorstep still fresh? 

He reached into the box again and froze as his finger closed over a familiar softness.

"Joongie-ah! What was in the box?" Junsu asked as he walked out of the small kitchen with a wooden tray stocked with a small cloth, bowls of water, and soup. 

Everything around Jaejoong seemed to slow down. Things he never noticed before popped out at him, like how when Junsu was shocked, his mouth made the perfect formation of an 'O'. Or when how dark the house had become with the blinds shut, a bleak grey sneaking into every corner of the house. And how the hurt and astonishment was so clear and defined in Junsu's brown eyes, tears b as his hands instantly dropped the tray and reached for the object in Jaejoong's hands--his dolphin plushy.

Cradling the destroyed, mangled piece of fluff, Jaejoong bit his lip, a painful churning in his stomach again. Junsu cried. Each hushed whimper and sniffle stabbing Jaejoong's fragile heart bloody. The scent of a fresh soup made with chicken broth, vegetables, and noodles made Jaejoong sick to the stomach. He remembered the day Yunho had received a drink from a fan, grinning as he drank from it. No more than an hour later was Heechul screaming for him to puke his guts out. Could his soup also contain a secret ingredient that could kill him? This girl--this sasaeng fan--had given Jaejoong a possibly poisoned soup and returned Junsu's special plushy as a ragged cotton mess. 

The familiar tightening of his throat warned Jaejoong that his stomach couldn't handle the smell of the suspicious soup and the sight of Junsu as a crying child, clutching the remains of what his twin had given him as a present. Again, rushing to the restroom and bending over the bowl of the toilet, emptying his stomach, Jaejoong couldn't understand what drove their fan to do this. Remembrance? Recognition? This was too much. 

Suddenly the familiar ringtone of the band's song "In Heaven" blasted throughout the apartment. 

"Should... Should I get it?!" Junsu asked from the kitchen, choking on his sobs.

Jaejoong washed away the bile and scrubbed his mouth clean again quickly. "Who is it?" he asked, voice scratchy and hoarse.

Junsu trembled as Jaejoong glanced at the ID number. The plushy was squished against the tenor's chest as he plopped down into a seat. The ID tag said it was a private number.

In the back of Jaejoong's mind, a voice told him that it was the sasaeng fan. Hell, he knew it was her! But nevertheless, he picked up the call for some odd reason.

He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He couldn't.

The girl said only one sentence before hanging up.

"Jaejoong oppa... Enjoy the soup!"

The singer dropped his phone, the back casing sliding off and the battery pack bouncing out of the secured recess. And then Junsu's phone rang. He pulled the plastic device out of his pocket hurriedly and almost threw it against the wall until he realized who was calling.

"Yoochun-ah!!!" Junsu wailed into the phone. 

"Junsu-ah! I tried to call Joongie but he's not picking up. Is something wrong? Why're you crying?" he answered.

"I... My plushy... And Joongie..." Junsu sobbed and hiccuped between words. 

Jaejoong snatched the phone away from Junsu. "I'm here, Chunnie," he said. "Everything is... Not fine, but I'll explain when you get home."

"Hyung? What's wrong? Your voice is shaking. Did something happen?"

"I'm fine for now, Yoochun. What was it you called for?"

"I sent a picture to Junsu. It... It scared me and I wanted you two to know about it because I can't leave the set yet. I was so scared and... And... I didn't know what to think. I thought something had happened to you guys and..."

Jaejoong's heart pulsed painfully as he heard Yoochun stifle a sniffle. "I'll look at it, Yoochun-ah. We'll all be alright, okay? Just... Don't worry."

"Thank you, hyung."

"I love you, Yoochunnie!!" Junsu yelled.

Jaejoong held the phone out to Junsu as Yoochun screamed back, "I love you too, Su!" And then he hung up.

Jaejoong quickly scrolled through Junsu's text messages with Yoochun, most of them being picture messages with goofy faces of each other. He finally found the most recent picture and opened it. Junsu, who'd been looking over Jaejoong's shoulder gasped.

Dropping the phone, Jaejoong tried to calm his breathing, unsure of what to do now.

The picture was of the same sasaeng fan, stretched lips and wide eyes, wearing Yoochun's missing earrings, Junsu's headphones around her neck, and Jaejoong's bracelet. And there behind her was the same couch in their living room, with the same window covered with blinds, with the same lamp they kept next to the sofa... She had been in their apartment. 

Jaejoong heard Junsu whimper and held the man against his chest, hoping to calm his frightened tears. Before, this was bearable. Now, Jaejoong needed help. And he could only get this help from the only other people who've gone through what they've gone through.