Staring at the poster, Sakura waits for the ‘smile! You’re on a candid camera’ moment, but since it doesn’t come, she turns to Kazuha for answers. However, the younger girl refuses to meet her questioning gaze, finding the floor beneath their feet more fascinating as her face adapts the color of a ripe tomato.
 
“I-I was… I—ugh,” Kazuha stammers, closes her eyes for a moment longer than a blink and takes a deep breath. “I’m your fan,” she says, looking at Sakura unflinchingly despite all the nervous blushing.
 
Sakura blinks  - once, twice - and when she doesn’t say anything, Kazuha continues, “I’m sorry I haven’t told you earlier.”
 
Wait... a fan? My fan? Is this why she...? Oh... Ooooh...
 
“But I swear I’m not some kind of stalker—”
 
Whatever else Kazuha wants to add is cut off by Sakura’s laughter. It spills from her lips unbidden, in short gasps of disbelief that grow in their intensity, soon changing into a full on belly laughter complete with tears in her eyes.
 
And Kazuha starts to laugh as well, unsure and awkward and maybe even a little bit scared, like not having any idea what’s so funny but goes along with it anyway, afraid of what will happen if she won’t. 
 
Their combined laughter soon attracts Yunjin and Chaewon.
 
“What are you laughing about?” The blonde looks between them, amused.
 
Still shaking with laughter, Sakura goes up to her, grabs her arm and points her finger at the poster, then at herself, then at Kazuha and back at the poster.
 
“Oh, hey! That’s you!”
 
Sakura nods to Yunjin’s enthusiastic reaction.
 
“And this belongs to Zuha?”
 
Another nod.
 
“Oi! You’ve been Kkura’s fan this whole time and you haven’t told us?” Yunjin chides Kazuha, slapping her on the arm playfully but with enough force behind it to cause the younger girl to stumble a little.
 
Rubbing her abused arm, Kazuha turns quiet again, but her nervous gaze and the way she bows her head sheepishly provide enough of an explanation.
 
This is so ing ridiculous, Sakura scoffs internally, leaning into Yunjin’s side as her laughter subsides and she regains some semblance of sanity. 
 
“Wait a minute,” Chaewon chimes in, stepping forward. “Is this why you joined our team? Because you are Sakura’s fan?” She points an accusing finger at Kazuha.
 
The younger girl sighs, shoulders slumping as she gazes up at the ceiling as if pleading for some divine intervention to save her. 
 
“I’m sorry for lying. I didn’t want you to think I’m weird,” she says, voice cracking at the end as tears begin to pool in her eyes.  
 
“And how did that work out for you, hm?” Chaewon intones sarcastically, glancing at the poster then back at Kazuha.
 
Observing the scene with an impassive gaze, Sakura clings to Yunjin like she’s her anchor in this sea of madness that surrounds her. All the revelations concerning Kazuha’s past and present, and how they all for some ing reason center around her, have mentally exhausted Sakura. She has enough of all the boxes, medals, photos, stories, balls, posters and whatnot. In short, she has enough of Nakamura Kazuha.
 
“Whatever. I don’t care.” She waves her hand to signal the end of this conversation.
 
“Zuha, where did you get that poster?” Yunjin asks out of nowhere, earning herself a flick on the ear from Sakura. “Ouch! What? You must admit you look good on it.” 
 
Sakura rolls her eyes but then takes another look at the poster. 
 
The photo must have been taken during the U-20 World Cup, because she wears on it the blue jersey of Japan's national team. It shows her mid-run with the ball, her focused eyes staring ahead, most likely looking for an opportunity to pass or shoot. Her hair was shorter back then and she played with a headband like Chaewon does nowadays, which makes her wonder whether that’s the reason why the photo appeals to Yunjin so much. 
 
She has no idea during which match it was taken, but it doesn’t really matter. All it reminds her of is that she has to get back into that blue jersey with the number nine on its back as soon as possible. 
 
Ironically, the one who may want to claim that same number for herself stands beside the poster, eyes cast down in guilt, looking like a kicked puppy.
 
Although she tries not to, Sakura starts to feel bad for the girl. But also, she has no idea what to tell her. Contrary to Kazuha’s worries, she doesn’t suspect her of being a stalker, but she does find it a little bit odd that she chose to play for their team because of her. Though on a second thought, Sakura plays for F.C. Tokyo because of her idol as well. So she guesses that what really surprises her is the idea that now, she has become that kind of idol to someone else, and frankly, it scares her. She knows what happened to her idol, saw it first hand and wouldn’t want to repeat that.
 
“I’m tired,” she finally breaks the silence because everyone else seems to wait for her to speak and give her opinion about the poster, like they’re at a gallery and she’s some kind of art critic. “I’m going back to my room.” 
 
She gives Yunjin a pat on her shoulder and smiles at Chaewon weakly. 
 
“See you tomorrow at practice,” she tells them and leaves to her room, grateful that no one wants to stop her.

🌸🍃 

Despite telling herself that it didn’t matter during which game that photo for the poster was taken, Sakura spends almost two hours sitting at her desk in front of her laptop, going through Japan’s U-20 World Cup games on YouTube, until she finally matches the image to the lost semi-final against Germany. 
 
She has lost count of how many times she had re-watched that game already. She used to know it by heart. Analyzed every second of it, trying to pinpoint the exact moments when she could have changed the outcome of the game. Literal nightmares about that loss had been haunting her for weeks after the tournament’s conclusion. The faces of their disappointed supporters, her teammates lying on the grass, hiding their tears behind their hands, and her dad leaving the stands before the final whistle. 
 
If there was one match which she didn’t want to be immortalized on a poster, it would have to be that semi-final.
 
And all that reminiscing and reliving of that traumatic game stirs her paranoia awake. 
 
Has she brought that poster on purpose? 
 
As fate would have it, Kazuha also faced Germany in a semi-final during her U-20 World Cup tournament. She scored two goals against them. The match ended in a draw, but Japan won in the penalties. 
 
So was that poster Kazuha’s way of getting into her head? Reminding her of her losses while at the same time, proving how much better she was?
 
But then, there’s the image of Kazuha’s sad, puppy eyes, and her adamant confession I’m your fan, making all these thoughts and suspicions floating inside Sakura’s mind even more muddled and incoherent.
 
Propping her elbows on the desk, she cradles her head in her hands as she stares blankly at the semi-final, playing on the laptop.
 
Soccer used to be a much more straightforward game, before Nakamura Kazuha decided to make an appearance in her life. Prior to meeting her, Sakura used to worry only about her opponents, now she worries about her opponents and her teammate slash roommate. 
 
A knock on the door interrupts her thoughts. She pauses the nightmare-inducing semi-final and glances at the time — 7:47 pm — way too early to pretend she’s sleeping. Besides, the light being on has already given her away. 
 
“Come in,” she says, making sure to sound tired and closes the laptop.
 
Kazuha opens the door but only pops her head into the room and stays outside. “Uhm, I’ve ordered some food since I wanted to thank you for your help today. There’s kimchi jjigae for you. Chaewon said you liked it.”
 
Now that food is mentioned Sakura realizes she didn’t have a proper meal today, and her stomach chooses this exact moment to remind her about it, rumbling loudly.
 
Kazuha tries not to laugh, but Sakura can see the corners of her lips twitching, and she feels her cheeks color.
 
“Okay,” she says, ignoring the fact that her stomach has already answered for her and leaves her desk.
 
Although she has planned to avoid Kazuha for the rest of the day, it’s not like she can say no to a free kimchi jjigae.
 
They go to the kitchen, and Sakura hops onto the stool. Kazuha takes a seat opposite of her, placing the bowl of kimchi jjigae before her. It’s still warm and has extra tofu in it. She makes a mental note to thank Chaewon later for advising the girl well. What surprises her though, is that Kazuha has the same dish as her.
 
“You like kimchi jjigae?” she makes an offhand comment, before taking a spoonful of the stew.
 
“I’ve never had it, so I thought I might try it. Chaewon said it was your favorite…” Kazuha’s voice trails off, eyes widening. “I mean it’s not because you like it that I’ve decided to try it. I swear I don’t make my decisions based on what you like. I was honestly just curious how it tastes.”
 
Her panicked expression prompts a chuckle from Sakura. “It’s okay. Try it then.”
 
Kazuha scoops onto her spoon a bit of tofu along with the soup, and when she puts it in , her eyes become even bigger than a moment ago and she pretends to swoon, letting out a long, melodious hum of satisfaction which prompts another giggle from Sakura. 
 
“It’s yummy, isn’t it?”
 
Nodding enthusiastically, Kazuha proceeds to take another spoonful.
 
Sakura is somewhat glad that Kazuha enjoys the dish. Nagisa never liked kimchi jjigae, saying it was too spicy for her, so they never ordered food together. Now seems like she could finally have a take-away food buddy to share the delivery costs with.
 
They spend the rest of their meal in silence. Sakura’s gaze keeps veering to the right where Kazuha’s room is. The door is open, and she can see the framed poster hanging on the wall which raises a question in her head.
 
“I thought you said you didn’t like useless stuff cluttering your space?” She points with her spoon at the poster in the distance.
 
Kazuha furrows her eyebrows, looking as if she has just heard something deeply offensive. “It’s not useless.”
 
Sakura raises an eyebrow. “How so?”
 
“It’s for motivation,” the girl states as a matter-of-factly.
 
Gripping the spoon, Sakura stares into her empty bowl. “Because I lost that game?” she asks, voice flat and hollow. “It motivates you to not be like me?”
 
A confused whisper follows her words. “What…?”
 
Letting out a frustrated sigh, Sakura looks up at the girl. “It’s from the semi-final with Germany. We lost 4:2. You didn’t know?”
 
“I know.” Kazuha looks to the side towards her room with a smile, the fondness behind it catching Sakura off guard. “But even though you lost, to me, it was your best game of the tournament. You scored two goals, and whenever you had the ball, you always ended up with a shot on goal. Even when the game looked doomed, you were relentless in your attacks till the very last second. If your defense played better, you could have won that match. So it motivates me to never give up no matter how bad the situation is.” She ends her explanation with a shrug and stands up, taking her bowl to wash it in the sink.
 
Sakura stares speechlessly at Kazuha’s back while the girl starts doing the dishes. 
 
Her worst loss being her best match? What kind of twisted logic was that? However, she does remember getting a high note from the coach for that game. And now that she thinks about it, the media also praised her for her performance. None of that changes the outcome of the game itself, though. 
 
Relentless, huh? More like desperate, she thinks bitterly to herself.
 
But Kazuha wouldn’t know any better. She had no way of knowing just how much that match had meant to her. How some of those last shots on the goal were done with blurry vision and clenched teeth. She knew the game was lost. She just didn’t want to admit it - till the very last second. 
 
“May I?”
 
She blinks back to reality and sees Kazuha pointing at her bowl. 
 
“Ah, y-yeah, thanks.”
 
“You know,” the girl says, once her back is facing Sakura again. “I’ve been following your career since I saw you in the Sendai Junior Cup.”
 
Feeling odd talking to Kazuha’s back, especially since it’s quite exposed by the cropped tank top she wears (seriously, has all her clothes fallen under a lawn mower or something?), Sakura leaves her seat to join the girl by the sink and help her. 
 
“Sendai Junior Cup? I was just fourteen at that time,” she muses at loud as she grabs a kitchen towel and starts wiping the bowls dry.
 
“Yup, and I was nine. It was my first major tournament. Since then, I’ve seen all your games. And that World Cup semi-final is one of my favorites.” 
 
“But weren’t you sad that Japan lost?”
 
Kazuha turns off the faucet and looks up in thought. “I was, but at the same time, I was proud because Germany were the favorites for the title and you put up a good fight against them.”
 
Again, Sakura wouldn’t describe losing 4:2 as putting up a good fight. If they ended on a draw then maybe, but a loss only meant they hadn’t given their best. She doesn’t understand how Kazuha sees it as anything else than that. Unless what Kazuha means is that specifically Sakura put up a good fight and not the entire team in general, which kind of feels like that after how she has described that match.
 
I’ve seen all your games.
 
An odd warmth crawls up Sakura’s neck as the words from a moment ago finally sink in. That’s a lot of games. Lots of hours spent by Kazuha watching matches just because Sakura played in them. And here she thought she had spent a lot of time analyzing Kazuha’s games. Boy was she wrong. But at least in this aspect, she doesn’t mind being outdone by the younger girl.
 
“By the way,” the girl says in a smaller voice, startling Sakura out of her thoughts. She almost loses her grip on the bowl. Luckily, Kazuha hasn’t noticed that embarrassing reaction as her profile is hidden behind the curtain of her dark hair. “I’ll understand if you want me to move out since I wasn’t entirely honest with you, and you must think I’m weird.”
 
It’s funny because just four days ago Sakura hoped for an excuse to break their rushed roommate deal, and after everything that happened today, one might think Kazuha’s offer would make her cry tears of joy. But when Kazuha takes the bowl from her and places it on the lowest shelf in the cupboard, Sakura decides that all things considered, the girl isn’t that bad of a roommate (or maybe that’s just the free kimchi jjigae speaking?).
 
“Don’t be so dramatic,” Sakura says as she folds the kitchen towel and sets it aside. “You’re not that weird.”
 
“So I’m a little weird?” Kazuha challenges, leaning against the kitchen island, hands shoved into the pockets of her denim shorts.
 
Despite the shyness in her eyes, there’s some newfound confidence about her in the way she finally faces Sakura.
 
Well, for one, your wardrobe looks like it has been raided by Edward Scissorhands himself, Sakura keeps that thought to herself and clears . 
 
“Let’s just say you have a unique way of thinking.”
 
Kazuha purses her lips in brief thought. “Wasn’t that Chaewon’s way of saying Yunjin’s dumb?”
 
Sakura opens , taken aback by the sudden switch to banter. But seeing how Kazuha’s lips quirk up in a smile, she shoots her a playful glare. 
 
“You know that’s not what I mean. It’s about all that semi-final stuff you said.”
 
“You don’t agree with it?”
 
“Nope.” Sakura pops the ‘p’. “At the end of the day, it’s the victory that matters.” She gives the girl a tight-lipped smile and, noticing how she becomes pensive and has no rebuttal, decides to leave her with her thoughts and goes back to her room. “Thanks for the dinner, Zuha. Good night.”
 
“Ah, sure.” Kazuha recovers from her daze, smiling back at her in a similar tense fashion. “Good night.”

🌸🍃  

The next day during the training, they are practicing one versus ones to goal again. And when it’s Kazuha’s turn, she does everything that Sakura had advised her to do, meaning, she tricks Mei with a nudge to the side and surprises Yunjin with a powerful shot from a distance. She scores and returns to the end of the line to stand behind Sakura.
 
“Nice goal,” Sakura says as she glances over her shoulder. 
 
“Thanks.” Kazuha beams at her, puffing out her chest, and it’s like she just grew two inches taller.
 
Chuckling under her breath, Sakura turns around. 
 
After their last evening conversation, the level of her paranoia has significantly decreased, and she stopped wondering what kind of evil schemes Kazuha has been plotting against her to steal her blue jersey with the number nine.
 
Surprisingly, it isn't because she found out the girl was her fan, because after all, that could have been a ruse in itself. But the more time she spends with her, the more she becomes convinced that Kazuha has no mean bone in her body. She’s easygoing, polite and almost always smiling. So she’s either an Oscar worthy actress, or she really is Sakura’s fan who wants to play alongside her rather than take her place and sabotage her career. 
 
They end their warm-up drills and gather around coach Takahashi before the scrimmage. But the way he runs his hand across his wrinkled forehead tells Sakura something has come up. He always does this gesture whenever he considers the game to be a lost cause.
 
“As you all know, we play the last friendly match this Thursday, but I’ve just found out from our management that our opponents won’t be able to join us.”
 
A chorus of murmurs follows the announcement. Sakura gives Chaewon, who stands beside her, a puzzled look and is met with the same reaction from the midfielder. No one seems to know the reason as to why they won’t be able to play against Vissel Kobe.
 
“However, we’ve managed to arrange a match with a different team. Since they’re still on their preseason tour in Japan, Juventus has agreed to play a match with us.”
 
The news is met with mixed reactions. Sakura notices how some of her teammates grimace in displeasure. Most likely, they had hoped for an easy match before the start of the season, and they know they won’t be getting that from the Champions League winners.
 
Her eyes instinctively search for Kazuha. She stands some distance away from her, face unreadable until their eyes connect and a hint of smile ghosts over her lips. She doesn’t seem to be bothered at all by the change of their opponents. Good, because Sakura hopes for a serious match, and she feared Kazuha would be either intimidated or displeased.
 
To be honest, Sakura couldn’t be happier with the announcement. Half of the Juventus team plays also in Italy’s national squad, meaning it’ll be almost like facing the Italian team itself. On top of that, with how popular Juventus is in Japan, the game will certainly draw widespread media attention, giving Sakura a chance to silence the doubters even before the season starts, and maybe even the national team’s coach will notice her if she plays well.
 
Of course, it won’t be easy, seeing how only two days have left till the match and throughout this entire week, they’ve been preparing for an entirely different opponent, a much easier one for that matter. But it’s not like the rules of the game have changed — whoever scores more goals, wins. Problem is, Juventus has one of the best, if not the best, defense in the world, with all five of their defenders playing in the national squad. Technically, they can choose to play with their second squad but knowing that they didn’t do it in their previous friendly matches, Sakura doubts that will be the case on Thursday.
 
In any case, to score a goal against them, Sakura knows she’ll have to give her absolute best, and she hopes Kazuha will show a similar mindset.
 
The training scrimmage finally begins and Sakura is on the team with Kazuha, as always. Some of their teammates start to voice out their disappointment over that, because they feel it’s unfair for their best strikers to always play together, but coach Takahashi disregards their complaints. 
 
Sakura doesn’t understand what’s the big deal. Instead of complaining, they should just start playing better. But they don’t, and as a result, she again watches Kazuha celebrating her goals like the stadium is full and she’s about to receive a gold medal and a trophy.
 
It’s just so unbelievably ridiculous and silly that it never fails to make Sakura smile.

 
🌸🍃

 
After the training and back at home, an idea pops into Sakura’s head. Well, strictly speaking, it was Yunjin’s idea first, but at that time when she said it, Sakura didn’t consider it seriously. Now, sitting on her bed and watching Juventus recent matches, she realizes it wasn’t that crazy of an idea. And so, she takes her laptop and goes to knock on Kazuha’s door.
 
The girl opens, clearly surprised to see her.
 
“We need to strategize,” Sakura states before Kazuha is able to question her about the reason behind her late visit.
 
Somehow she didn’t take into consideration that it’s already 10 pm, and the girl may be preparing to go to sleep. But as she takes in Kazuha’s slightly disheveled appearance, her flushed cheeks and her yoga pants and her sports bra, she concludes that one - Kazuha must have been exercising just now, and two - the aircon has broken down, because why the hell it’s so damn hot in here suddenly?
 
“Strategize?”
 
Sakura blinks.
 
“Uhm, yeah,” she says, making sure she looks straight into Kazuha’s eyes and only there. “For the match with Juventus. I figured we could come up with ways to deal with their defense.”
 
“Oh, yeah, sure.” Kazuha opens the door to her room wider, letting Sakura in. “We can sit on the bed.”
 
And that’s when Sakura notices she hasn’t exactly thought this over. Since Kazuha has no desk yet, it would make more sense if she invited the girl over to her room. But it’s not like that mattered much; bed will do.
 
She takes a seat at the very edge of it, and Kazuha lies down on her stomach beside her, propping herself on her elbows as she stares at the screen of Sakura’s laptop.
 
“So, have you come up with something already?” Kazuha looks up at her, and Sakura realizes it’s the first time when she’s the one towering over the girl and not the other way around.
 
It shouldn’t be anything worth noting, yet for some reason it is, because the aircon is in fact working, but the room’s temperature isn’t decreasing, and Sakura starts thinking that maybe she should have just stayed in her room. It was nice and chilly there.
 
“Not—” Sakura’s voice comes out oddly strained and she clears . “Not yet. I thought we could watch a few of their games together first.”
 
“Okay.”
 
Sakura starts playing the video, skips to the more interesting parts and whenever one of them has some comments, she pauses it. Mostly she is the one who does the talking while Kazuha listens and nods along, from time to time offering her remarks.
 
“We have to watch out for their offside traps,” Sakura muses, reaching behind her to massage her sore shoulder and when no response follows her words, she glances down at Kazuha and finds her with her eyes closed and hands tucked under her head as she lies on her side.
 
She frowns, wondering at which point the girl stopped listening to her and fell asleep. But since it’s almost midnight, she supposes she can’t really blame her.
 
A strand of hair falls loosely across Kazuha’s face and she starts wiggling her nose as it tickles her. Sakura stifles a chuckle and without a second thought, gently brushes away the offending stray lock. As she does so, Kazuha nuzzles her cheek against her fingertips. The brief, tender touch fills Sakura’s chest with sudden warmth, and she quickly retreats her hand as if burned. 
 
She swallows, looking around the room like she forgot where she was for a moment, then slowly, so as not to wake up the girl, she starts to stand up. But the moment she’s off the bed, Kazuha stirs awake and lifts herself to a half sitting position.
 
“Sorry, I dozed off.” She looks at Sakura with her bleary eyes and that stray lock from before falls again across her face. She frowns, staring cross-eyed at it then blows to brush it aside. 
 
Sakura bites the inside of her cheek, fighting off the stupid grin that threatens to stretch across her lips, because Kazuha reminds her of a puppy that just woke up from its nap. She has no idea how that image registered in her head, but she cannot unsee it now.
 
“No, it’s okay. It’s almost midnight, anyway. We can talk about it tomorrow.”
 
“Okay.” Kazuha gives her a drowsy smile. “Good night, then.”
 
“Good night.”
 
Sakura retreats to her room, but before she goes to sleep, something compels her to take a cold shower first.
 
If they ever are going to strategize again, they’re doing it in her room. At the desk.

 
🌸🍃 

On the day of the match, the atmosphere in the locker feels tense. There’s no joking or laughing like usual before the friendly matches. Everyone is quiet and focused. Even Yunjin and Chaewon are silent, no bickering between them today. It’s almost as though their team is about to play the actual first game of the season. 
 
Sakura is glad to see her teammates treating this game seriously. She plans to give her best today. Not that she wouldn’t against the team from Kobe, but the general rule of preseason games is to treat them like a warm-up. After all, no one wants to get injured before the season even starts, so the friendly matches tend to be on the relaxed side. At the same time, she really hopes to get that head-start in the race for the national team spot, and a win today could mean just that. 
 
They leave the locker room and line up in the tunnel that leads to the field with Sakura standing at the end of the line. The chants of the supporters echo around them, sending literal chills down her spine. 
 
“A lot of people came today,” Kazuha comments as she stands before Sakura, excitement evident in her voice.
 
“Juventus has a lot of fans in Japan, apparently.”
 
Kazuha starts jumping from one foot to the other, like she can barely wait to get onto the field. 
 
“Is that so?” She turns around to face Sakura, stopping her restless movement. “Then it’s a shame we’ll have to disappoint them today.” Gushing with a silly smirk, she winks at Sakura. 
 
Her confidence once again catches Sakura off guard, and she hopes there’s not enough light in the tunnel for Kazuha to notice her reddening cheeks.
 
The girl swivels around and the line finally starts moving. 
 
As they leave the tunnel, the chants increase in volume. The stadium is almost full, mostly red and blue in color, though there’s quite a few white and black flags waving as well. Sakura has a hard time spotting the familiar face of her father, but he’s there, at his usual seat, looking stoic and impassive to the surrounding festive atmosphere.
 
The referee blows her whistle and Juventus starts the game.