“What about Kazuha?”

Her dad’s lips twist into a smirk. “He hasn’t decided about her yet.”

Sakura frowns. Does that mean Kazuha still has a chance to get in the team? While she herself has been pretty much written off completely by the coach?  

Let’s win the World Cup together.

Her teeth clench as something akin to betrayal squeezes painfully her chest. Because Kazuha hasn’t even played that well! And she doesn’t even care! She doesn’t deser— 

No. Stop it. That’s not fair.

“I’ve warned you, Sakura,” her dad’s harsh words interject her thoughts as though he’s reading her mind.

She doesn’t look away from his mocking gaze; she won’t give him the satisfaction of the ‘ I told you so ’ moment. There hasn’t been a final decision yet. And she still remembers that he’s partially to blame for her recent awful performance as well.

They have this peculiar stare down for a moment longer, before she finally stalks off and leaves the stadium.

  🌸🍃

Sakura considers not going to the training with her dad but realizes that by doing so, she would only further prove to him how much his news has affected her and that would be another sign of her weakness. Besides, it can help her blow off some steam from all the frustration the news brought on.

She doesn’t want to go back home in her current state, knowing she may say something to Kazuha which she’ll later regret. The girl hasn’t done anything wrong; it’s irrational to be upset with her. Yet it’s one of these easier said than done types of situations. And as much as she prides herself on keeping her emotions in check most of the time, that’s not always the case when it comes to soccer.

When her dad sees her enter the soccer court, he gives her a look as if he’s surprised she actually came, and it only adds to her vexation. He probably assumed she went back home to cry in her room, but she’s not 16 anymore. She no longer runs away when things get tough.

The training is harsh and unforgiving as usual, but at least her dad spares her all the preaching. Perhaps he thinks that she has finally learned her lesson, which makes it seem as if he secretly didn’t want her to be chosen for the team just to prove his theories correct. And she doesn’t want to admit it, but that thought may just hurt even more than the fact that she won’t play in Japan’s next qualifying match.

Why can't things just be like they used to? Why everything has to be so ed up? She keeps asking herself, but the only answers she receives are the hollow thuds of the ball striking the wall with each kick, each one more forceful than the previous

She repeats the action until she has no strength left in her legs and she falls to the floor, onto her knees and hands. Drops of sweat trickle down her temples, staining the green court while she tries to get her labored breathing under control.

“That’s enough for today. Go home,” her dad says, and she listens to the uneven staccato of his steps as he leaves the court.

When she arrives at home, the lights are on in the living room and she can hear Kazuha playing there with their new furry friend. Despite how sore and exhausted she feels, despite how awful this whole day has been so far, the quiet meows along with Kazuha’s enthusiastic giggles put a smile on her face.

She abandons her bag in the corridor and shuffles to the kitchen to grab something to eat. As she passes by the living room, Kazuha acknowledges her presence with a smile before returning her attention to the kitten.

In the kitchen, Sakura rummages through the cupboards, searching for something to eat until she settles for a protein bar, not really having an appetite for anything more substantial than that. After she finishes her late evening snack, she goes to the living room, unable to ignore the sounds coming from there. 

“So you haven’t found another one, huh?” She leans against the doorframe, watching as the kitten chases after a red string that Kazuha drags along the carpet.

The girl laughs, her eyes not leaving the kitten. “Nope. Not this time.” 

 He hasn’t decided about her yet.

The haunting words come back, souring Sakura’s mood again. She wonders whether she should tell Kazuha what she knows if only because she’s curious about her reaction. But she figures that whatever it may be, it probably won’t be as pathetic as hers - feeling betrayed by the girl who has done nothing to her.

A sharp pain pierces through her shoulder and she hisses, straightening her posture. She was supposed to see their team’s physiotherapist about it, but she keeps forgetting to do so due to the impromptu training sessions with her dad. At least it’s not her leg, so she’s not too concerned about it.

She tilts her head and starts hitting the sore spot with her fist when she notices that Kazuha has left the kitten and is now coming up to her.

She stares at the girl, perplexed when she stops before her and takes her fist into her hand.

“Come”, she says and holding Sakura’s palm, leads her to the couch. “Sit down. I’ll give you a massage.”

“W-what?” Sakura takes a step back, feeling her entire face turn scarlet at the bold offer, which the girl uttered so casually as though she was talking about what she had for dinner. 

“I’ve noticed your shoulder seems to be bothering you lately.”

“Well, yeah but…” Sakura furrows her eyebrows.

Why is she so damn nonchalant about it? Or is it me who is overreacting? Are we already at the stage of friendship when we give each other massages? But what kind of stage is that even?! I’ve never given Yunjin or Chaewon a massage! Wait, are they giving each other massages? Oh I’m so not asking them about it…

“Don’t worry. My roommate in the Netherlands was a physiotherapy student. And she often practiced on me,” Kazuha assures, completely missing the point of Sakura’s hesitation.

At the same time, her confession pushes Sakura’s thoughts into an entirely different direction.

Often practiced on her? W-what?! Were they that close? Was that roommate also someone from her team? How long had they known each other before that girl started practicing on her? Ugh…I hate how this sounds… But didn’t she spend like a year there, or even less? Was it a matter of cultural difference? And more importantly…

“And you…?” Sakura pauses, wondering how she should phrase it, or even if she should in the first place, because maybe it’s a bit too intrusive to be asking about it, then again, given the current circumstances, she feels it’s more than justified. So she continues with an uncertain, “Gave her massages as well?” 

“Not really.” Kazuha rubs the back of her neck, smiling sheepishly. “But I think I have a pretty good grasp of what she was doing.”

Not really? What does that even mean? Ughh, I swear! What is this conversation even?! 

“Hey, just tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop.”                                    

. . .

“Sakura?” Kazuha waves her hand in front of Sakura’s unmoving, stunned eyes.

But it’s not until a moment later, when Sakura’s shoulder reminds of itself again, that the gears in her head start working, and she grimaces in pain.

“See? It still hurts you, doesn’t it? Come on, I’ll be gentle.”

“Fine!” Sakura shrieks, and now it’s Kazuha’s turn to look at her dumbfounded. Even the kitten stops grooming herself, her tiny tongue sticking out of as she stares at Sakura. “Sorry, it’s the pain,” she mumbles awkwardly, then sits down on the couch, angled to the side and with her back straight.                                                                                                                                                                                                   

If this is what it takes to make the girl stop talking, then so be it.

“Go on. Do your thing.” 

As Kazuha promptly takes a seat behind her, Sakura gulps, not sure if it’s out of anticipation or nervousness, maybe a bit of both. But before the girl puts her hands on her shoulders, Sakura turns around to face her and spears her with a dead serious look. 

“Don’t ever mention this to Yunjin.”

“O-okay?” Kazuha agrees, albeit visibly confused by the request.

“Just don’t,” Sakura mutters and goes back to her previous position.

The kitten stares curiously at them, sitting on the carpet with her paws tucked underneath her, looking like the tiniest loaf of bread. 

Yeah, I also have no idea what’s going on, tiny one, she thinks, staring at the cat.

And it’s the last coherent thought that registers in her mind before everything fades into oblivion as Kazuha starts massaging her shoulders, sending shivers all over her body. 

Holy …

Whoever that physiotherapy student was, she sure as hell taught Kazuha a thing or two about massage. The girl seems to actually know what she’s doing, and Sakura all but melts at her gentle yet deliberate ministrations. She has to bite her lips to stifle the embarrassing sounds of approval that threaten to leave them.

“Hey, uhm,” Kazuha’s quiet, hesitant voice breaks the silence between them. “I know that we’re not that close…”

Sakura’s eyes snap open (she wasn’t even aware she closed them), and she an eyebrow.

Seriously? From where I stand, or rather sit, we’re way closer than I’ve ever imagined us to be.

“But if there’s anything that’s bothering you, you can always talk to me. Even if it’s something outside soccer, you know? I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener.”

Now that’s unexpected. It’s not a very Kazuha thing to do to prompt her for confessions so directly. Chaewon or Yunjin? Sure. But Kazuha? Never. Where did the misplaced breakfast bowls and the silent staring competitions go? 

Then again, it wasn't her two best friends who saw her returning home late in the evening on multiple occasions, appearing as though she had narrowly escaped a confrontation with a group of Frontale's hooligans or experienced something else, equally draining and traumatizing.

Maybe Kazuha just wants to make sure Sakura actually plans to survive long enough to keep their promise. She does, of course, and even if she’s resembling a zombie after her training sessions with her dad, she believes the hard work she puts into them will be worth it in the long run. But there’s more to those meetings than just practicing to be better, and it’s that part she doesn’t want to discuss with Kazuha, or with anyone really.

Kazuha thinks Sakura and her dad have a great relationship, and for some reason, Sakura would rather keep it that way, even if it’s a lie.

“I’m fine,” Sakura assures, glancing over her shoulder. Kazuha stopped massaging her but hasn’t retreated her hands yet. “Don’t worry about me.” She places her palm on the girl’s, relishing for a moment in its warmth.

But Kazuha doesn’t look convinced, her brows furrowed in a deep frown. She parts her lips as if she's about to say something, but then the kitten leaps onto Sakura's lap, drawing her attention.

“Looks like our new roommate likes you,” Kazuha says as the kitten curls up on Sakura’s lap, purring contentedly.

Sakura scratches the fluff ball behind its ear, wordlessly thanking her for her perfect timing. 

“Have you named her already?”

“Not yet. Do you have any ideas?” Kazuha retreats her hand and instead, rests her chin on Sakura’s shoulder.

What was it about us not being that close? We clearly have different definitions of that word.

Sakura tries not to let on how much the slight shift in the girl's postion affects, how her heart beats faster than it should, and that's mainly because it doesn’t seem to do anything for Kazuha. So she ignores it as best as she can, files it in her head under another one of the girl’s quirks, and focuses on the kitten on her lap. 

She ponders for a moment, wondering what kind of name would be suitable when she notices the pattern of the orange spots on the kitten’s fur. “How about Hana?”

“Hana?”

“Mhm, look, the spots form tiny flowers.” Sakura traces the small, orange petals with her finger.

“I like it,” Kazuha agrees easily. “Hana-chan.” She reaches to pet the kitten’s head, and Hana responds by stretching her neck.

Smiling, Sakura observes the cute interaction until Kazuha catches her stare. “What?”

“I just never took you for a cat person, you know?”

“Why?” Kazuha chuckles, the sound tickling Sakura’s reddening ear. 

“I don’t know.” Sakura shrugs with her unoccupied shoulder. “Just the kind of vibe you give off, I guess. Like how friendly you are, and how excited and energetic you sometimes act. Especially when you score a goal, or when you are together with Yunjin. You behave like two puppies of the same litter.”

“I like dogs, but cats are cute too.” Kazuha looks up at Sakura, curious eyes twinkling and an easy smile curling her lips when she says, “You remind me of a cat.”

Sakura’s eyes veer to the side as she hears the odd confession.

Here she goes again saying… random stuff…

“I should go to bed. It’s late.” She picks up the kitten, handing it to Kazuha and stands up from the coach. But before she leaves the room, she turns one last time to the girl. “Thanks for the massage,” she says, stiffly.

“No problem. I hope you will feel better soon.”

Sakura nods and flees to her room.

🌸🍃

The next few days pass by in a blur with Sakura being mostly too exhausted to even keep track of time. Thankfully, the day before their second game of the season, her dad decides to spare her, so she spends her free time just sleeping and resting.

On Sunday, they fly to Kyoto for their match, and Sakura ends up sitting on the plane next to Chaewon with Kazuha and Yunjin sitting on the seats next to theirs across the aisle.

“No, Eunchae, I’m really sorry but I don’t know when I’ll be able to visit you. Yes, I know I promised. I’ll make it up to you. Okay, bye now. I’ll text you once we land in Kyoto. Bye.” Chaewon disconnects the call and lets out a weary sigh, running fingers through her short hair. “Eunchae sends her regards,” she tells Sakura, looking at her as she props her forehead against the seat in front of her.

“Thanks. Send her mine. How is she doing?” 

Sakura has never met Chaewon’s younger half-sister, but she talked to her a few times when she called Chaewon and Sakura happened to be around. She seemed like a sweet kid, even if she older sister a lot, but Sakura supposes that’s a trait characteristic of all the younger siblings out there.

“I think she’s entering her rebellious phase,” Chaewon groans.

“Eunchae? Rebellious? No way. She’s the sweetest.”

“Maybe to you. Sometimes I think she likes you and Yunjin more than me, and she barely even knows you two.”

Sakura grins. “What can I say? We’re just that irresistible.”

Chaewon rolls her eyes. “Ugh, you sound just like Yunjin.”

“Come on, you know she loves you. Otherwise, she wouldn’t miss you so much.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Chaewon’s expression grows contemplative and she leans back in her seat, staring through the window.

Sakura knows Chaewon’s relationship with her parents isn’t the best. She’s not aware of the exact details, as they’ve never discussed it, but she had a chance to notice it during that soccer summer camp they both attended as teenagers. 

Chaewon’s parents never called to check on her, but one time, she got a call late at night. Sakura didn’t want to eavesdrop, but that particular night, she couldn’t sleep, nervous over her dad’s next day visit, and since she was Chaewon’s bunkmate, she heard some snippets of the conversation. One sentence in particular stuck with her.

“Eunchae, you’ll be in trouble if parents find out you called me.”  

Remembering this now, Sakura wonders whether it’s not just Chaewon’s limited free time that stops her from visiting her sister in Seoul. 

“Sakura?” Chaewon turns to Sakura with a glare that startles her out of her thoughts. “I hope you aren’t planning on ignoring Kazuha today.” 

Sakura rolls her eyes. “No,” she reassures her friend.

“Good ‘cause I’d hate to see Yunjin carrying you on her back to bring you for yet another interrogation.”

Sakura winces. “Don’t remind me. I’m still pissed at her for it, by the way.”

“It was quite a sight to behold.” Chaewon cackles when Sakura nudges her arm. But as her laughter subsides, she asks, seriously this time, “So, you and Zuha, things are okay between you two?”

And the question prompts a wave of flashbacks in Sakura’s mind.

The promise she made with Kazuha under the streetlamp, them sitting in Sakura’s room on her bed with their knees touching, Kazuha pinning her to the tree, practically at her own request, and finally, Kazuha giving her a massage then resting her chin on her shoulder as if it was the most natural thing to do between them.

Sakura’s mouth goes dry and she stops the flight attendant that passes them by to ask for a cup of water. She downs it in one go, crumpling the plastic cup.

“Yeah, we’re okay,” she finally replies.  

“Are you sure?” Chaewon arches an eyebrow, staring at the abused cup in Sakura’s hand.

“Look, I promise we’re winning today’s game. And I’m not leaving the field until the referee's final whistle.”

Chaewon stares at her like she’s searching her face for any signs of a bluff, but upon finding none, accepts her words with a curt nod and goes back to staring at the cloudless sky behind the small window.

Sakura leans back in her seat, closing her eyes with a sigh.

Technically, if today’s match goes well, it may impact coach Ikeda’s decision regarding Kazuha’s spot on the national team, but she tries not to think about it. She cannot do the same mistake twice and let her emotions get the best of her.

She does wonder, though, how Kazuha feels about today’s game. Is she nervous? Afraid that Sakura will break her promise and ignore her again? Will she be overthinking her every move like the last time?

She glances across the aisle to check on the girl and has to stifle a laugh, because she finds Kazuha dozing off, head lolling to the side as she drools on her neck pillow without a care in the world. The concerns Sakura has suspected her of are nowhere to be found on her peacefully sleeping face.

And Sakura decides to follow her example as she puts on her headphones and closes her eyes.

🌸🍃 

“Hey, Sakura.”  

Sakura lifts her eyes from her phone (the squad still hasn’t been announced) then shoves It back to her duffel bag when Kazuha approaches her at her locker.

“How’s your shoulder?” she asks as chews on her bottom lip.

Of course that’s what worries her the most. Ugh! I swear this girl. Does she have to be so… sweet all the damn time?

Sakura smiles at the younger striker. “It’s fine. It hasn’t bothered me since Thursday.”

She got it checked the other day, and it turned out there’s nothing wrong with it. The physiotherapist said the pains could be stress related and a massage and some rest should help with it. 

She has already told Kazuha, excluding the bit about the massage as she didn’t want to make it seem like she was asking her for another one, but seems like the girl had to make sure again.

“Good.” Kazuha’s face brightens up. “Let’s kick their asses today,” she says and raises her fist for Sakura to bump it, eyes flashing with determination.

“Let’s do it.” Sakura smirks as their fists connect and together they leave the locker room.

🌸🍃

Twenty minutes into the game with Kyoto Sanga, Sakura scores her first goal of the season.

After the defenders swarm Kazuha, clearly seeing her as a bigger threat, they leave Sakura unattended and free to roam in their penalty area. Kazuha immediately takes notice of that and delivers a perfect pass to her.

In one swift motion, Sakura strikes the ball as it’s still in the air and watches how it passes by the dumbfounded goalkeeper, hitting the net.

“Nice volley!” Kazuha calls out as she runs to Sakura, lips split in a wide grin.

“Thanks.” Sakura meets her half-way and they high-five each other. 

A few of their teammates run up to them and after another round of celebratory high-fives, they return to their half of the field.

“How about another one?” Kazuha shoots Sakura a challenging smirk before they take their positions.

“How about three more?” Sakura replies, mirroring her expression. 

The referee resumes the game, and Sakura, together with Kazuha, is back to putting pressure on Kyoto's players. It’s a complete one-eighty from their previous game. Sakura manages to tune out any thoughts about her dad or the national team and focuses on what’s here and now, assessing the situation on the field and looking for ways to outplay their opponents.

After she takes hold of the ball on the right wing, she instantly notices how Kazuha has a perfect chance for a header. She crosses the ball and observes with bated breath as Kazuha runs into the penalty area and jumps high into the air. None of the defenders are able to reach her, so one of them in a desperate attempt to stop her restores to a foul, grabbing her jersey to drag her down. 

The referee’s reaction is immediate as she points to the penalty kick.

“You okay?” Sakura asks as she runs up to Kazuha who is still sitting on the grass, adjusting her socks, and reaches a hand to her.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She grabs onto Sakura’s forearm and stands up. “Just a little bit butthurt,” she adds, cheekily.

Amused, Sakura shakes her head at the reminder of their first encounter which happened just a month ago, yet somehow now it feels like years have passed since. 

“Avenge me.” Kazuha winks at her and leaves the penalty box, allowing her to take the kick.

Sakura chuckles under her breath at the girl’s dramatics as she places the ball on the penalty spot. And then she faces the goalkeeper while the whole stadium holds its breath. She looks to her left, to her right, runs up to the ball, and perfectly executes the kick, scoring her second goal. 

Her teammates all run to her for another celebration. But Kazuha is the first one to reach her, engulfing her in a bear hug while the others are left to just pat her on the back or head.

“Hat-trick before the end of the first half?” Kazuha pulls away from the hug, cheeks flushed and dimpled as she looks into Sakura’s eyes.

“I like that idea,” Sakura replies, completely taken by Kazuha’s infectious enthusiasm and confidence.

Unfortunately, they’re unable to complete their plan and have to satisfy themselves with the 2:0 score as they leave the stadium for the half-time break.

However, once the second half begins, their supporters don’t have to wait long for another goal. After Kazuha gets a perfect pass from Sakura, she shows off her powerful shot and scores a goal from just outside the penalty area.  

“Not bad,” Sakura remarks as she high-fives the girl. 

“Just not bad?” Kazuha pouts dismayed. 

Sakura shrugs with a coy smile.

“Oh, I get it. You’re not easily impressed, huh? Fine, I’ll show you.” Kazuha squints at her in a threatening manner which of course just comes off as utterly silly, making Sakura throw back her head with laughter.

But soon enough, Kazuha delivers on her threat, scoring a goal after a beautiful diving header. Although it all had played out in Sakura’s mind before it happened, she would lie if she said she wasn’t impressed to see Kazuha actually pull it off.

“How about that?” the girl asks as Sakura finds herself embraced by her again.

She still cannot quite get used to it but doesn’t mind it really, and blocks any thoughts about her dad watching them right now. After all, it’s natural to celebrate the goals with your teammates. It’s not something she should be overthinking every time it happens.

“Let’s say, eight out of ten,” she says. 

Kazuha pulls away from her with an appalled gasp. “And here I wanted to say that your pass was ten out of ten.”

“It was.” Sakura gives her a cheeky grin. 

Kazuha scrunches her face in a grimace and they both burst into giggles.

The score remains at 4:0 till the end of the match. As they leave the stadium, Sakura looks to the stands where F.C. Tokyo supporters sit, celebrating their victory, but she’s unable to find her dad among them. Yet she knows he’s somewhere there, or was at least; he doesn’t skip even the away matches.

She wonders what he thinks about her today’s performance, but when she checks her phone after they’re back at the locker room, she finds no messages from him. However, she considers this a good sign, actually. Maybe the daily training sessions will finally come to an end.

They return home on the same day and on their flight back, Sakura sits next to Kazuha. The moment the plane takes off, she starts analyzing the match they’ve just played in her head.

“I think we can do even better than today,” she concludes out loud and turns to Kazuha.

The girl meets her with a smile that Sakura suspects could be wider if she allowed for it, but for whatever reason, she restrains it. Then she lowers her head for a moment before looking at Sakura again. 

“You think so?” she asks, and it really feels now like she tries hard to suppress her laughter which earns her a raised eyebrow from Sakura.

“And you don’t?”

“I do, actually. It’s just…”

“What?”

“You think about soccer a lot, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Sakura says, not caring how defensive she sounds. “I’ve been playing soccer almost my whole life. It’s my passion. But I thought you knew that already.”

“Oh I know,” Kazuha admits, eyes softening as she leans her head against her headrest. “That’s what I like about you. And it just makes me happy that I’ve found someone as obsessed with this sport as I am.”

Despite the blazing air-conditioning, Sakura feels a wave of heat flood her entire body at the sudden admission.

“It’s fun playing with you. I’m glad I returned to Japan.”

Me too , Sakura thinks, but at the same time, she knows it’s an odd thought to have when everything would surely be easier if Kazuha just wasn’t here. So since she isn’t sure what she actually means by it, she keeps it to herself.

“T-thanks,” she stutters lamely instead, before she turns around and pretends to fall asleep.

🌸🍃

Upon their arrival at their apartment, Hana-chan greets them with a loud reproachful meow the moment Sakura opens the door.

“Hey little one, did you miss us?” Kazuha coos at the kitten as she scoops her into her arms.

Sakura ignores how strange the word us sounds to her. She still considers Hana-chan as Kazuha’s cat and only hers. 

As the girl takes the kitten to the kitchen, Sakura decides to just go back to her room and gets ready for bed. She’s tired beyond belief and the moment she’s in her pajamas, she throws herself on her bed with a satisfied sigh.

But before she falls asleep, she reminds herself of the squad announcement and frantically reaches for her phone on the nightstand. 

Coach Ikeda announces squad for the qualifier against Thailand.

With a pounding heart, she clicks on the article and scrolls to its end where the squad is listed. She skims through it but doesn’t find Kazuha’s name on it. She checks the substitute list, but she’s not there either. Coach chose Juri Arisugawa, a veteran striker, and opted to put her as the sole center forward. 

And Sakura doesn’t know what to think about it. The relief she expected to feel doesn’t come, instead there’s a mixture of disappointment and confusion. She also wonders whether Kazuha has seen it already and what her reaction might have been. Just as that thought appears in her mind, a noise coming from the kitchen draws her attention that doesn’t sound like a cat’s doing.

“She’s not sleeping yet?” she mutters under her breath and decides to check what’s going on.

Quietly entering the kitchen, she finds Kazuha rummaging through the cupboards searching for something while sniffling as if she’s crying?

“Zuha?” Sakura utters cautiously. 

The girl flinches startled before she turns to face Sakura, her eyes red and puffy, and cheeks streaked with tears.