Chapter XIX

Game Changer

Back at the locker room, Sakura takes a cold shower, which quite literally clears her mind, and she realizes that, due to all the distractions today, she hasn’t looked once towards the stands. She has no idea whether her dad attended today’s training.

He hasn’t been contacting her lately, but with everything that’s going on right now, that’s for the better. Yet she still hopes he’ll appear at Sunday’s match. He had never missed a game against Frontale. His hatred for the Kawasaki club runs so deep that it sometimes scared Sakura when she was younger. On the match days against them, he was always so agitated that she wouldn’t speak to him at all, out of fear that he would just lash out at her.

Losses always made him so upset that he wouldn’t talk to her or her mom for a few days before everything was back to normal. However, losses against Frontale made him a completely different person. He would get drunk, yell, slam doors and— 

She blinks, and her empty locker comes into focus. Why is she even thinking about this? It’s not like he’ll ever get a chance to play against Frontale again. She slams her locker shut and slings her bag over her shoulder. That’s when she notices that Yunjin and Chaewon are missing. And now that she thinks about it, she hasn’t seen them enter the locker room after the training. Feeling somewhat concerned, she goes to ask Kazuha about it.

“Have you seen Chaewon and Yunjin?”

Kazuha purses her lips in thought while packing her stuff into her duffel bag. “I saw Yunjin practicing free kicks, but I haven’t seen Chaewon.”

“Free kicks?” Sakura frowns. “Why would she suddenly practice that?”

“I don’t know.” Kazuha shrugs and closes her locker. “Though maybe practice is not the right word. She seemed somewhat upset, so it felt more like she was letting off some steam. She was kicking that ball pretty hard.”

Sakura wonders what could have possibly upset Yunjin so much that she has resorted to doing overtime training, but comes up with nothing. The goalkeeper has never done that before, so it’s all the more surprising to hear. One thing is for sure, though, it must have something to do with Chaewon and whatever happened between them yesterday.

“Okay, well, never mind, I guess. Let’s get going then,” Sakura says, deciding that she’ll try to talk to Yunjin and Chaewon tomorrow.

Right now, there’s a much more pressing matter she needs to address. One that just keeps escalating somehow. Well, okay, to be fair, she knows exactly how it escalated. Kazuha is just a little too good at appealing to her ego, and she doesn’t know how to refuse a challenge. That being said, she shouldn’t have played into her flirting. But apparently, Kazuha is a little too good at that, too. Curse whoever taught her that.

As they’re walking towards the train station at that languid, post-training pace of theirs, Sakura realizes this is the perfect opportunity to finally talk about what happened yesterday and today. 

“Zuha–” she starts, but immediately gets cut off by Kazuha.

“Dammit. I think I’ve lost my phone.” The girl’s steps come to a sudden halt as she’s frantically patting the pockets of her jacket and cargo pants. 

Rummaging through her bag, she almost scatters its contents onto the pavement, but still, her hectic search brings no results.

“You’ve probably left it in the locker room,” Sakura suggests. 

“Yeah, probably.” Kazuha gives her an apologetic look, chewing on her bottom lip.

A little frustrated with the situation, Sakura sighs, “Come on, let’s go back and check.”

They quickly make their way back to the stadium, but as Sakura opens the door to the locker room, she freezes and doesn’t even budge when Kazuha collides into her back.

“Saku—?” Kazuha’s words die on her lips.

Sakura imagines she just saw what she’s seeing, meaning Yunjin pressing Chaewon against the lockers while kissing her passionately as if the world were about to end. They’re so into it that neither of them even notices that someone has entered the room.

Overcoming her initial shock, Sakura begins to back away, urging Kazuha behind her to do the same, but annoyingly, the girl’s sneakers squeak against the floor, alerting Yunjin and Chaewon to their presence.

The two jerk away from each other, with Chaewon hitting her head against the locker in the process and letting out a groan of pain.

“Zuha, K-kkura? W-wh– why– what’s you guys doing here?” Yunjin asks, wide-eyed and a little out of breath, as she starts fixing her hair and shirt.

“U-hm, Zuha forgot her phone,” Sakura offers awkwardly. “S-sorry, we’ll just grab it, and we’re out.”  

But after her words, nothing happens. She looks behind her and finds Kazuha still staring ahead in stunned silence, her entire face glowing red.

“Uhm, Zuha?” She tries again, but the girl remains unresponsive until Sakura shouts and shakes her arm, “Zuha!”

“A-ah, yeah. S-sorry.” Kazuha bows her head and dashes to her locker.

She punches in the code, but it’s incorrect, and when she does it again and she’s wrong again, Sakura considers ripping the locker off the wall and taking it with them home, just so that this mortifyingly embarrassing situation could finally end. 

Luckily, she succeeds on the third try, grabs her phone, and makes a beeline for the exit. And then they run out of the stadium as fast as they can and stop only once they‘re halfway to the train station. Breathing raggedly, they share a knowing look before they burst into laughter.

“That was priceless,” Kazuha says, wiping tears from her eyes. “I’ve never seen Chaewon blushing so badly.”

“Yunjin was no better. She even forgot how to speak Japanese,” Sakura adds.

They continue to chuckle as they resume their walk until they reach the station and take a seat on a bench, waiting for the train to arrive since the one they were supposed to catch left ten minutes ago. 

The sun has already set, and an unpleasant chill begins to settle in the air, causing Sakura to scoot a little closer to Kazuha.

“I’m happy for them,” Kazuha says, her pondering eyes staring somewhere ahead. “They make a cute couple.”

Sakura casts her gaze down, fiddling with her bag on her lap. “I just hope they...”

“Hey, don’t worry,” Kazuha interjects, looking down at her with a smile. “Everything will be fine. I bet they’ll play even better than before.”

Sakura rolls her eyes. “You and your positive thinking.”

“What?” Kazuha tilts her head to the side. “You don’t like it?” 

Sakura knows she’s being teased, but the question catches her off guard nonetheless.

“I…”

I do like it. I like how happy and optimistic you are. I like your unassuming smile and your soft brown eyes. I like a lot of things about you that I shouldn’t be liking.

She looks away before these thoughts have a chance to spill from her lips. 

“Look.” Kazuha breaks the silence with her gentle, soothing voice. “All I’m saying is that there’s no point worrying about what may go wrong. And besides, Yunjin and Chaewon, they care about the team as much as we do.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Sakura mutters, feeling embarrassed that the younger girl has to comfort her about her imaginary concerns. “I’m being silly. I mean, I myself waited almost two years for them to finally confess to each other.”

The comment earns a chuckle from Kazuha. “Do you think they’ll be less insufferable now?”

“Oh, I doubt it.” Sakura waves her hand dismissively. “If anything, they’ll be even worse. Still, I’m happy for them.”

Kazuha hums in agreement, and Sakura gives her a sideways glance. They still have some time until their train arrives, probably enough to have that overdue conversation.

“Zuha?”

“Hm?”

I like you, and I get a feeling that you may like me too, but it’s best if we remain friends. Remember, we have a World Cup to win. And the league’s title. And…

…there’s no point worrying about what may go wrong.

She blinks in realization and smiles. “Nothing. Never mind.”

Saying any of those arguments is moot. To the ever-positive Kazuha, these aren’t real obstacles. But she can always just skip that first part about her own feelings. If she just rejects Kazuha, tell her to stop with that flirtatious banter she began between them; she’s sure the girl will listen to her.

But that’s the problem; it’s not easy to reject Kazuha just like that. On this chilly October evening, as they’re waiting for their train to arrive, feeling happy for their friends who just got together. How can she do that to her?

Kazuha regards her quizzically while she’s having that mental battle with herself, but says nothing. Eventually, their gazes part, and a wistful silence falls upon them, soon broken by the sound of the approaching train.

 

🌸🍃

 

When they enter the locker room the next day, neither Yunjin nor Chaewon look their way, and it becomes blatantly obvious that yesterday's incident is still very fresh in their memory. Sakura greets them at their lockers, and they both reply with curt ‘hellos’ and stilted smiles.

But once they’re out on the field and start focusing on doing the drills, things gradually begin to get back to normal, and they’re able to look at Sakura and Kazuha without turning into ripe tomatoes.

During their break, Kazuha and Yunjin even end up goofing around, chasing each other like preschoolers, and Sakura takes this opportunity to talk to Chaewon who observes them from the sidelines with a grin.

“Soo,” Sakura drawls, catching the midfielder’s attention. “You’ve finally talked to her, hm?” 

Chaewon fixes her bangs, avoiding Sakura’s gaze. “Well, yeah,” she mutters.

Sakura hums. “Now how did that happen? When we came back from Seoul, things weren’t any different between you two. It was a bit disappointing, to be honest.”

Chaewon stops her fidgeting and looks across the field, where Yunjin and Kazuha began practicing penalties. The goalkeeper saves every single shot, and Sakura supposes she needs to give Kazuha some advice on how to score penalties because, most likely, the girl’s intentions are clearly visible on her face.

“I was happy when I made the national team,” Chaewon says, eyes still staring ahead, surely fixed on a certain blonde with a cheeky grin who’s currently teasing Kazuha. “Then even happier when we won the match. But you know when I felt the happiest?” 

Sakura doesn’t answer, and she knows Chaewon doesn’t really expect her to, but her happiness would have peaked at that last part anyway.

“When I saw Yunjin at the stands, with her golden hair and red cheeks, grinning from ear to ear, so proud and happy. And I realized just how much she means to me. Or rather, I realized I could no longer ignore how much she means to me.”

“That’s why you couldn’t sleep that night?”

“Yeah. But I was still just so damn scared that even if I confess and even if she returns my feelings, somewhere down the line, it’ll all just end similar to how it ended with Minju. So I didn’t follow through with your advice. Well, not entirely, at least.”

Sakura raises an eyebrow. “You did tell her something?”

Chaewon nods and kicks at the grass. “I told her about my parents, my fears, and my guilt, but I skipped the part about my feelings towards her.” 

Oh.  

The words hit a bit too close to home, and Sakura feels a lump forming in .

“She made it really hard for me not to spill it all out, with the way she was crying while assuring me there’s nothing wrong with me and that she was ready to fight anyone who made me feel this way. Even if it meant fighting my parents.” Chaewon chuckles softly.

“So then when—?”

“At the bar.”

“At the bar?”

“We were dancing. I got carried away. And I kissed her,” Chaewon says with a shrug. 

Sakura feels a sudden heat rush to her face.

Chaewon’s words trigger memories of hands on her waist, half-lidded eyes, and lips closing in with clear intent. The vivid images flashing in her mind, making her heartbeat quicken. 

She shakes them off to focus back on what her friend is saying.

“Once I realized what I was doing, the old habits kicked in, and I panicked. I pulled away from her and ran back to the booth.”

At least not to the bathroom. Sakura winces at the thought. 

She starts regretting asking Chaewon about all of it. But across the field, Kazuha seems to be having a similar conversation with Yunjin, because now they’re sitting on the grass, facing each other with shy smiles. And that’s even worse. Since she can imagine that talking to Yunjin will only give Kazuha more ideas. More bad , dangerous ideas.

“After we got back home,” Chaewon continues, “Yunjin confessed she had feelings for me for quite some time already. She just always thought I was straight, and when she found out I was in fact gay, she then just assumed I wasn’t interested in her like that.”

Again, it surprises Sakura how Yunjin’s confidence seems to be only for show. Because how has she never noticed the way Chaewon looked at her? Does she really think so little of herself? Where does this doubt in herself come from? 

“So then I told her everything once again from the beginning, but this time including how I felt about her. And...well, let's just end it here,” Chaewon mutters sheepishly, her cheeks reddening in such a way that makes Sakura feel grateful that she spares her the details of whatever followed their conversation. “Anyway, we’re dating now. And I’m sorry that you’ve found out the way you did. We’ve planned on telling you both, but...yeah.”

“I’m glad it all worked out in the end.” Sakura smiles at her. “You deserve to be happy, Chae.”

“Thanks.” Chaewon smiles back, but then she adds regretfully, “I just feel like I should have told you sooner and should have taken Eunchae’s advice on being honest with myself.”

“Hey, you told me when you were ready. Sometimes we just need extra time to work through our emotions or come to accept certain truths about ourselves, and that’s perfectly okay.” 

Trust me, I would know. She sighs internally.

"Oh, don’t you go all philosophical on me, Miyawaki,” Chaewon groans, nudging Sakura’s shoulder. “But I get what you mean. I’m no longer the person who was with Minju. And my parents have no hold over me. I just needed time to finally realize that.”

Briefly, Sakura’s gaze drifts to the now empty seat on the stands. But hers and Chaewon’s situations are so vastly different from each other that she finds no point in comparing them. 

“Does Eunchae know?” she asks instead.  

“Yeah,” Chaewon replies wryly. “She’s planning our big New York wedding right as we speak.” 

Sakura lets out a chuckle. The girl must have been ecstatic about the news. She kind of regrets that she wasn’t there to witness that. And speaking of witnessing things...

“Chae?”

“Hm?”

“Please don’t make out in the locker room ever again, okay?”

Chaewon’s face turns red again as she mumbles, “Yep. Noted.”

There’s a lull in the conversation, and Sakura wants to suggest they go and join Kazuha and Yunjin, but then Chaewon speaks up again.

“Soo,” she drawls, and Sakura doesn’t like the sudden shift in her tone or how her eyes narrow in suspicion. “What about you and Zuha?”

Sakura blinks owlishly. “Me and Zuha? T-there’s nothing between us.” She laughs it off, but internally cringes at how nervous it sounds.

Chaewon arches her eyebrow and adds, with feigned nonchalance, “You looked pretty cozy that evening at the bar, though. Not to mention that you almost scratched Kaname’s face off when you saw her hitting on Zuha.”

“I didn’t— That wasn’t—” Sakura closes and exhales through her nose. “You got it all wrong,” she says calmly. 

“Oh really?” Chaewon stares at her, amused.

“What are you gossiping about, hm?” Yunjin asks as she ambles up to them.

Sakura has never been more grateful to see her. 

The blonde wraps her arms around Chaewon’s waist from behind, pulling her into a back hug.

“Ugh.” Sakura winces at the sight. “You’re going to be all lovey-dovey now?”

“Maaybe,” Yunjin singsongs and pecks Chaewon on the cheek.

Both Sakura and Chaewon react with a disgusted ‘ew’. But in Sakura’s case, it’s an honest reaction, while Chaewon seemed to have done it only through the force of habit, judging by the pleased smile on her face. 

“I think it’s cute,” Kazuha says as she sidles up to them and stands beside Sakura, their shoulders almost touching.

Of course you do, Sakura thinks to herself, suppressing the smile the thought prompts. Somehow, she can easily imagine Kazuha acting just like Yunjin, if not worse. In many ways, the girl is even a bigger ‘loser’ than the blonde.

“So, what were you talking about?” Yunjin asks, and suddenly Sakura no longer appreciates her presence so much. 

“About…” Chaewon begins, gushing with a smirk that sets off a dozen blaring alarms in Sakura’s head.

“About how awful you are at penalties,” Sakura cuts in, looking up at Kazuha and trying to sound stern. “Yunjin saved almost all of your shots.”

But the girl just chuckles at her over-dramatic reaction, and so do their lovebirds friends.

“Don’t laugh.” Sakura lightly smacks Kazuha on the shoulder with the back of her hand. “As a striker, you should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Hey, don’t be so harsh on her, Kkura,” Yunjin chimes in. “In her defense, she seems to be a little distracted today.”

Noticing how that last remark makes Kazuha blush, Sakura narrows her eyes in confusion. 

“M-maybe you could give me some pointers?” the girl asks, casting a shy glance at her.

“Some private lessons on how to shoot your shot ?” Yunjin quips suggestively.

Sakura’s eyes snap to the blonde in a scowl. She thought she had made it clear that she wished Yunjin would stop with those kinds of comments, but apparently, the goalkeeper has already forgotten all about it. 

Unless… 

Lips parting in realization, Sakura looks back to Kazuha, but the girl’s gaze remains stuck on the grass.

Has she told Yunjin about what happened at the club? 

She can’t be upset about it. After all, Kazuha can talk to whomever she wants about whatever she wants. And yet Sakura feels almost like she has been betrayed.

“We should head back. The break is almost over,” she says, breaking the awkward silence that fell after Yunjin’s words, and, not waiting for anyone, she marches off the field.

 

🌸🍃

 

Lying on her bed with her back against the pillows, Sakura reads the same manga panel for the tenth time, and yet its meaning still doesn’t register in her head. Right now, what interests her more than the dialogues of fictional soccer players is the conversation Kazuha had with Yunjin today. 

With a sigh, she lets go of the manga, and it plops onto her chest before sliding right off of her.

This is getting ridiculous, she thinks as she jumps off her bed. I need to just talk to her and be done with it. 

She stalks out of her room and into the kitchen, where her power-walk comes to a startling halt as she notices Kazuha drinking water out of a glass by the sink. She’s wearing only shorts and a sports bra, and Sakura immediately looks away from her.

“Sakura?” Kazuha’s voice comes off a little breathless.

Biting hard on the inside of her cheek, Sakura returns her gaze to the girl. Her chest heaving and her skin flushed, Sakura figures she must have been doing one of her nighttime work-out routines. 

“Do you need something?” Kazuha asks and moves to lean against the kitchen counter, hands grabbing onto its edge.

Sakura’s breath catches in as she takes in the view so eagerly presented to her. She knows Kazuha is doing this on purpose. Her arms spread apart, head held up in a confident pose that contrasts the blush on her cheeks; she resumes their game from yesterday.  

And Sakura hates to admit that she’s losing, again. But the need she’s so achingly aware of right now should better be left unsaid. Though, judging by Kazuha’s blown out pupils and parted lips, she seems to know exactly what Sakura needs and wants right now. 

To kiss her senseless until their lips are bruised. To run her hands down these taunt abs of hers and lower, until she comes undone in her arms, calling her name in breathless gasps. 

“Have you figured out what you want as your prize?” Kazuha’s voice cuts through her reverie.

“Huh?” Sakura blinks, banishing the indecent images from her mind.

“For the bet you won?”

“A-h, that. Just winning is enough of a prize.” 

A tense silence follows her words. She inhales sharply, her heart pounding against her ribcage, ready to crack it open. With measured steps, she makes her way to the kitchen island and spreads her hands on its cold, smooth surface, while Kazuha’s dark eyes follow her every move with the intensity of a predator watching its prey. 

“I just—”

“You talked to Chaewon today,” Kazuha cuts her off, sounding oddly impatient. “Have she told you how she and Yunjin ended up together?”

Sakura raises an eyebrow. “Yes.”

“Don’t you find it funny?” Kazuha tilts her head to the side, her tongue darting to wet her lips. “How almost two years of constant pining were solved with just one kiss?”

Sakura frowns. What is she trying to say? That we kiss and just hope for the best? That’s not how things work. 

“I don’t know what Yunjin has told you, but that’s not exactly how it happened,” she retorts, and it comes off a little harsher than she intended.

“Right.” Kazuha lets out a humorless chuckle and shifts her gaze to the floor. “But it certainly helped.” Her eyes return to Sakura, now softer but also defeated.

And on one hand, Sakura knows what Kazuha wants from her—to just stop worrying and give this thing between them a chance. But on the other hand, she wonders what this thing between them even is. What does Kazuha feel towards her? Curiosity? Fascination? A fleeting desire born out of mutual attraction? After all, they have known each other for just over a month. Is it really worth risking their friendship and careers for this?

“Zuha,” she sighs, and her shoulders slump. “Why are we even talking about this?”

Kazuha shakes her head resignedly. “I don’t know,” she mutters, pushing off the counter. “Good night, Sakura,” she says as she starts walking towards her room.

“Zuha, wait,” Sakura blurts out hastily, thinking that this isn’t how this conversation was supposed to go.

Kazuha stops but doesn’t let her continue when she says, “We have an important match tomorrow. It’s best we get as much rest as we can.” With that, she leaves to her room.

And as Sakura stands there, watching the door to Kazuha’s room close, she can’t get rid of the feeling that somehow the game ended with both of them losing.

 

🌸🍃

 

The bitter feeling of defeat carries through to the next day. Their conversations feel awfully forced and stilted, and their smiles seem fake. So Sakura doesn’t hide her surprise when, right before they leave the locker room, she notices Kazuha coming her way with a genuine smile on her face.

“Let’s kick their asses,” she says as she lifts her fist.

Sakura’s initial shock gives way to relief, and she has to stop herself from hugging the girl.  

“Let’s do it,” she replies, bumping Kazuha’s fist with her own.

But even though the situation between them returns to normal, at least for the time being, the match itself doesn’t go according to their plan. 

Trying to get through Frontale’s defense feels like trying to break through a brick wall. They play with five defenders, all tall, strong, and fast. It’s no wonder that they’ve only lost one goal so far this season. But that’s not even the worst part. What frustrates Sakura the most is how the five women seem to predict her every move, always being one step ahead of her, blocking her every cross, pass, and shot. 

And Kazuha doesn’t have it any easier either, since Kaname is following her like she’s her damn shadow. Sakura can only grit her teeth in response to the smirks the woman shoots her every time she manages to whisk away the ball from Kazuha.

By the 80th minute mark, Sakura begins to lose hope that the 0:0 score will change in their favor. And apparently so does her dad, because she sees him leaving the stadium.

“I feel like they’re reading our minds, or something.” Kazuha approaches her when substitutions take place.

“Mine,” Sakura mutters, staring at Kaname in the distance, who laughs at something her teammate said.

Sakura is pretty sure the woman doesn’t even care if her team wins. She just doesn’t want Sakura or Kazuha to score at all costs.

“Huh?”

“Kaname knows how I think, knows every trick in my book. She played dozens of matches with me,” she explains, then looks at Kazuha. “But she doesn’t know you.”

To be perfectly honest, she has no idea what she expects of the girl. But that’s the thing; they need something unexpected to happen. And if there’s one thing she knows about Kazuha, it's that she’s unpredictable and full of surprises. 

Kazuha smiles at her in a way that tells Sakura she understands what she means, maybe even better than Sakura understands it herself, and returns to her previous spot on the field.

The game is resumed, and just minutes later, after Kazuha manages to get hold of the ball, she does it. She outplays Kaname with a perfect roulette spin, and Sakura grins when she sees it. Her spin is so graceful that she’s certain if she had never given Kazuha the blue Nike ball, she would excel as a ballerina.

Yet her optimism is short-lived. Because Kaname doesn’t think about giving up. She runs after the girl and, catching up to her, tackles her with a nasty slide, aimed rather at her legs than at the ball. 

Kazuha tumbles down the grass and cries out in pain, clutching at her right foot. Watching as the younger girl writhes in agony, Sakura feels color drain from her face. A shiver runs down her spine as she breaks into a cold sweat. 

No… It can’t be... Not again…

Chaewon gestures to the medical team, and shortly after, Sakura observes as Kazuha is carried off the field on a stretcher.

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kochanchi #1
Chapter 23: an update finally🥲 been waiting. i just want to smack sakura somehow
queenforsythe #2
Chapter 22: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
aeongie_02 #3
Chapter 16: this is so good! I didn’t even realize I’ve read up till your latest update 😭 I’m excited for future updates :)
highskies707 #4
Chapter 7: Poor her... she'll bounce back
highskies707 #5
Chapter 6: Chapter 6: I am soo ready for the new season!
highskies707 #6
Chapter 5: I physically need that update...
yulsic1245 #7
This is really good author.