Dinner in the Great Hall that first night was downright atrocious. Less than a dozen students had stayed at the castle altogether, and most of them seemed to belong to the same group of fourth-years, chatting among themselves. The handful of teachers that had remained were gathered over some old book they’d opened in between plates and cutlery, discussing whatever it contained in whispers too low for Joohyun to pick up.

The only people not saying a word were Joohyun and Seungwan, awkwardly placed next to each other by well-meaning teachers who’d assumed the girls would rather be together than dumped in the middle of the babbling fourth-years. As a matter of fact, the girls would not.

Joohyun even considered striking up a conversation with Headmistress Kwon, but the woman’s attention was stolen away for most of the meal by a teacher Joohyun had never met, who apparently had an urgent issue with a student’s slipping grades endangering his access to his chosen NEWTs. Over the course of dinner, Joohyun became acquainted with every detail of that mystery student’s academic performance, as there was nothing better to do than shamelessly listen in on the discussion.

Once dinner was finally over, of course, there was the equally excruciating walk back to their dorms, once again alone as the younger students stayed behind to chat a bit before bed. Joohyun tried her best to ignore Seungwan’s presence entirely and was pleasantly surprised to find the girl going along with it without protest or some stilted attempt at a conversation. The only words exchanged between them were a barely audible “Good night” from Seungwan as she stopped in front of the Hufflepuff entrance and Joohyun’s curt reply of a single “’Night.”

She started taking her meals at the kitchen after that first night.

Seungwan’s presence wasn’t the bothersome inconvenience it would have been in earlier years, though. Like Joohyun had repeated every time Seulgi had tried to convince her to spend the break with her, she really did have a lot of studying to do. The plan for those few weeks was to spend all her time between her common room and the library, with the occasional break to catch some fresh air, and she assumed Seungwan had a similar schedule in mind, so it wasn’t like they’d be bumping into each other all that often, especially with Joohyun avoiding the Great Hall.

It would have been much worse in the years before their OWLs, when Joohyun had whiled away the hours strolling through empty corridors, listening to the wind whistle around the stone walls of the castle. Knowing that Seungwan could be around every corner would have made that experience infinitely less pleasant.

For the first couple of days, they didn’t even see each other. Joohyun pored over her textbooks and class notes, only pausing for meals and for a short walk outside after lunch, if the weather wasn’t too bad. Between her studying in the Slytherin common room and her quick meals at the kitchen, she barely left the Hogwarts underground, and the only people she saw were a few younger Slytherins, who left the dorm hours after she’d started studying and returned after dinner, while she was still trying to memorize extensive lists of hexes and their counter spells.

Seulgi did write her a letter, which arrived on the morning after that disastrous dinner at the Great Hall. Joohyun read it eagerly from end to end, then put it aside, pointedly refusing to answer it. Some part of her was aware that knowing Seungwan would be staying at school during the break wouldn’t have changed anything about the situation, but still. It was the principle of the thing. Seulgi could have warned her.

She’d answer it soon, anyway. Her conscience wouldn’t let her keep Seulgi hanging for too long. In the meantime, she’d focus on her studies and avoid Seungwan. And she’d take her meals at the kitchen, just a few corridors and shortcuts away from the Slytherin common room.

Sitting on a long wooden bench that was much rougher than its Great Hall counterparts, Joohuyn picked at the remains of her dinner, not too eager to return to her books and notes. The food had gone a little cold, which could be solved with simple enough magic, but she wasn’t really planning on eating anything else, so she simply pushed the rice from one side of the plate to the other and sighed in boredom, head resting on her hand.

Busy house elves worked tirelessly around her, flitting across the kitchen with arms full of dirty pots and pans, piles of dishes taller than them, washcloths, brooms and much more. Dinner had been served and cleared upstairs and now the elves took care of the cleaning before retiring for the night. A few had begun sweeping the floor, though everyone was very careful not to jostle the lethargic student, keeping a respectful distance.

Joohyun had been having the occasional dinner in the kitchen since her very first year at Hogwarts, and was more or less familiar with every single tiny face in there, just as all the elves immediately recognized the Slytherin with the glossy dark hair and the stern posture. By now, she was received with no surprise but simply requests of “Would Ms. Bae care to know the menu?” punctuated with deep bows that made the elves’ eyebrows nearly sweep the floor.

Another sigh escaped her, so deep that her entire frame rose and fell with it, and she finally put down her fork. With one last push of determination, she moved her plate to the side and watched as a nimble hand immediately picked it up and its owner darted to the nearest sink. There was a certain comfort to the apparent chaos that hid a smoothly planned routine, a satisfaction to watching the utter mess around her turn into spotless order in minutes.

It did help that the alternative was to go back to the Slytherin common room and study, but the main reason why Joohyun sat there and waited until everything was cleaned was simply that it soothed her. If the kitchen could undergo such a transformation, for every meal of every day, then surely Joohyun could get through the little setbacks of her own life. A few assignments, essays and star charts, even the NEWTs themselves couldn’t be such insurmountable obstacles, as long as she tackled them little by little, just as the house elves did with their kitchen.

She watched a particularly short fellow struggle to manouever while hovering a large pot that completely blocked his view, impressed by his ability to traverse the room when he could only see his own feet. He stopped, a bit confused, inches away from another elf who had frozen in place, and slowly set down the pot to study the situation. Joohyun’s curiosity mirrored his own and she followed the line of sight of the several elves who had paused in their duties, only to find herself gazing at a familiar Hufflepuff girl wringing her hands by the kitchen door.

“Hi,” Seungwan squeaked out, once she’d apparently finished her silent debate on whether to say something or simply walk right out again.

She received no response, between Joohyun’s silent scrutiny and the elves’ assumption that the student was addressing the other human in the room and not their lowly selves. It didn’t help that Seungwan’s eyes flitted between every pair focused on her, making it very unclear whom she was even speaking to. She probably didn’t know it herself.

“Sorry, I know it’s a little late,” she carried on after a slight pause, eyes finally landing on one particular house elf who seemed to be coordinating the washing up. He started a little at her words, already large eyes widening further and small hands clenching by his sides. “But, uh, I lost track of time studying and I missed dinner upstairs. I know it’s totally my fault and I’m so sorry about that, and I’d just skip it altogether, but I kind of already missed lunch and I’m a little hungry.”

Seungwan paused to breathe, and possibly assess the situation, and Joohyun watched as the poor house elf she was talking to tensed up even further, clearly trying to figure out a way to avoid the unnerving eye contact without the rudeness of looking away from a witch addressing him.

“I thought I’d come here and ask for something to eat, but I can see that you’re already cleaning up so I guess I’ll just go. I’m really, really sorry for the interruption, I -”

“Don’t apologize so much,” Joohyun spoke up, startling Seungwan nearly out of her skin. Had the girl really not noticed that she was sitting there? God, she was a strange one. At least the interruption was welcomed by the house elves, who all visibly relaxed at seeing the other human take on the task of interacting with the strange newcomer. “It makes them uncomfortable. Do you not have a house elf at home?”

Seungwan shrugged shyly, still standing by the kitchen door and making no move to approach Joohyun. “Yeah, but Poppy is used to me apologizing by now.”

A glance around the room told Joohyun that every house elf in there was waiting for her to deal with Seungwan, and the Hufflepuff seemed no closer to making up her mind and either requesting dinner or leaving, so Joohyun simply sighed and turned to the nearest elf. “You, make her a sandwich or something.”

The small creature promptly bowed in her direction, then turned so that she was facing both of the girls. “What kind of sandwich would Ms. Student like?” she requested in a wavering voice.

“Oh, anything is fine,” Seungwan said, causing the elf to immediately turn her frightened eyes on Joohyun. Must she really do everything herself?

“Ham and cheese,” she suggested drily, and the elf nodded happily, bowed once more and set off towards the pantry. Seungwan scrunched up her face apologetically, approaching with small, nervous steps.

She hovered by the table for a moment, appearing to be gauging Joohyun’s reaction before sitting down. Joohyun only studied her blankly, already wondering if she could just go back to the Slytherin common room and leave the girl to her sandwich.

“Sorry,” Seungwan began, as expected. “I didn’t know you were here. If I knew I’d be interrupting, I would have-”

“Skipped dinner?” Joohyun finished for her, unable to keep a tinge of sarcasm from her voice.

Seungwan studied her uncertainly, fiddling with the hem of her sweater. Joohyun wished the girl would at least sit down so she wouldn’t have to crane her neck up to talk to her.

“Well, no, but… Maybe come back later, when you were gone,” Seungwan suggested weakly.

A plate with a large sandwich cut in two appeared on the table in a flash of magic, clattering slightly as it settled. Along with it came a glass of warm milk, a small plume of steam rolling off it and up towards the ceiling. The sudden materialization startled Seungwan out of her apologetic ramblings and she finally made up her mind to sit down.

Despite her supposed hunger, Seungwan’s movements were slow as she picked up the bread and took her first bite. She seemed exhausted, eyelids drooping a little lower every time she blinked, despite the nervous glances she still sent Joohyun’s way.

Joohyun herself was more than ready to go back to the dorm, as even her Potions homework would be better than sitting silently in front of Seungwan as she slowly chewed her food and blinked like an idiot.

And yet…

Seulgi had talked about Seungwan in her letter. It wasn’t too unusual, as she did have a tendency to ramble on and on, going on tangents that made her letters longer than a History of Magic essay. But this time, she hadn’t just mentioned the girl or described some adventure they’d had together or gone on a Herbology-related rant where Seungwan, as her class partner, inevitably popped up. Well, she’d done those too, but she’d taken the time to write a small paragraph, near the end of the letter, asking Joohyun to keep an eye on her friend.

At the time, she’d assumed it was a failed attempt at humour, as Seulgi couldn’t possibly expect Joohyun to voluntarily interact with Seungwan, let alone make sure she was ‘doing okay’, as Seulgi had put it. But now, sitting in front of the girl, Joohyun began to notice the large dark circles under her eyes, the lack of colour in her face and lips, the way her gaze wandered blindly through the room, growing less and less focused until Seungwan was simply staring off into nothing.

“When was the last time you slept?” Joohyun found herself asking, and she genuinely couldn’t be sure which of the two was more shocked by the question. Seungwan’s eyes were immediately on her, wide and vaguely frightened, and she paused for a beat, halfway through chewing a bite.

“I, uh,” she began hesitantly, once she’d swallowed her food. “What day is it today?” she asked sheepishly, back to avoiding eye contact.

Joohyun’s eyebrow raised slightly, but she made no move to answer. After all, Seungwan’s question had been clear enough, hadn’t it? The silence quickly worked its way through Seungwan and she meekly lowered her head to fix her eyes on the plate as she returned to her meal.

It wasn’t like Joohyun could do anything about it. Seungwan would sleep if she wanted to, the same with eating. Seulgi couldn’t possibly expect the Slytherin to go around mothering that ridiculous girl in her absence, not to mention how Joohyun was busy enough with her own work.

The corners of curved down as she pressed her lips together, impatiently watching the girl in front of her reach for her glass of milk with an ink-stained hand.

“Why?” she called out, realizing a moment too late that she probably should have waited until Seungwan had finished drinking. To the girl’s credit, she didn’t really choke in surprise so much as cough slightly.

“It’s just… A lot of studying to catch up on,” she explained after self-consciously wiping with the back of her hand. In a flash, a pressed linen napkin appeared on the table, but Seungwan didn’t seem to notice.

Joohyun was ready for silence to settle between them once more, while she processed the answer and tried yet again to get up and go off to where she could mind her own business, but she was surprised when Seungwan continued to speak.

“I didn’t mean to skip lunch or dinner or, uh, sleep,” she added with a hint of embarrassment. Her fingers fiddled with the crust of her sandwich, pulling it off bit by bit. “But it’s like every time I finish something, I find something else that needs to be done, and then I just never stop.”

There was a question that Joohyun had mulled over for a long time, but never actually wanted to ask. One for which she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer, because she felt like it could only possibly make her more annoyed at the girl currently lining pieces of bread crust around the edge of her plate. But she might as well ask, right? If only to prove that she didn’t care, not entirely.

“How many NEWTs are you taking?” she enunciated slowly, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes as Seungwan looked up once more, nerves lending an edge to her every move.

“Oh, you know, just… a few.”

“The number,” Joohyun insisted.

“Right. That would be…” Seungwan paused to count silently on her fingers, though it seemed to be more to buy some time than anything else. “Um, twelve.”

This time, it was Joohyun counting on her fingers. Her brow furrowed slightly as she tried to tally up the classes, then her eyes landed squarely on Seungwan, who at least had the decency to shrink in her seat.

“That’s all of them.”

“I, well, only because they didn’t open any NEWT-level electives. You know, Alchemy and Ghoul Studies and… I mean, twelve was definitely the limit anyway. It’s just a coincidence that it happened to be, you know, all the classes.”

As always, Joohyun had been right. The answer had annoyed her, very much so.

“And you never stopped to consider that maybe that was a completely insane plan?”

Seungwan shrank further, meekness in full display, and Joohyun could barely stop herself from slapping away the hand that was still infuriatingly picking apart the bread.

“I did fine last year,” Seungwan pointed out weakly. Joohyun doubted that, considering the concern evident in Seulgi’s letter. All that worry wouldn’t have come from a couple of months of hard work; clearly Seungwan’s sixth year had already been far from fine. “It’s just that now, having to study for the NEWTs on top of all the homework, it’s getting a little tough to juggle.”

“Nonsense, you’re doing great. Just cut out all the superfluous things like eating and sleeping and you’ll have no problem at all,” Joohyun deadpanned instinctively, used to bickering with far more hardened people. Then again, it was difficult to find someone less hardened than the girl currently blinking back nervous tears.

She massaged her temples, trying to think of what to do next. Anything in the vicinity of apologizing or comforting Seungwan was painful to even consider, but now that she saw what the Hufflepuff was really dealing with, and with Seulgi’s request to top it off, she didn’t think she could simply walk off and pretend it wasn’t her problem, not when there was no one else around to deal with it.

Seungwan went back to eating her sandwich with downcast eyes, convinced that the conversation was over. God, it would be so much easier if she was a bit more like Hyuna and they could just set something on fire to get over it. Or more like Sunmi, who would talk Joohyun’s ear off but at least come out of it having processed her emotions. Joohyun didn’t know how to deal with… this.

She got up, still not quite sure of what she was about to do, and Seungwan glanced up to follow her movement. The girl offered her a resigned smile, one that seemed to say ‘I’m sorry for bothering you with my problems, I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me,’ and that finally cemented Joohyun’s decision.

Instead of leaving, she stepped into the pantry, squinting in the dark room but quickly finding what she was looking for. When she walked back out, Seungwan’s eyes immediately landed on the bottle she was holding and went wide.

“Glasses,” Joohyun requested of nobody in particular as she set down the alcohol, two wine glasses appearing on the table before she’d even returned to her seat.

“Is that… wine?” Seungwan asked uneasily. Joohyun nodded in response.

“Cooking wine. It isn’t ‘61 Château Latour, but they don’t cook with the cheap stuff either.”

She pulled out her wand and opened the bottle with a flick of her wrist and a few muttered words. The container slowly rose and tilted gently towards the glasses, filling them at a slight angle.

When the bottle returned to its place on the table, Joohyun glanced at Seungwan to find her returning her gaze with something akin to horror.

“What?” she asked drily, entirely unimpressed.

“We- we can’t drink!”

“And yet,” she pointed out with raised eyebrows, bringing her glass to her lips and taking a long swallow.

“What about all the -” Seungwan began, but never finished, because the wide gesture she’d made to take in the crowd of house elves occupying the kitchen only swept a vast expanse of empty space. They were completely alone in the large, low-ceilinged room. “Where did they go?” she asked in surprise, turning around like she expected them all to be hiding behind her chair.

“House elves aren’t supposed to let students drink. But they’re also not happy about displeasing wizards. So they avoid all the trouble by popping out whenever we do drink,” Joohyun explained patiently, swirling the dark liquid around in her glass and studying Seungwan. “What they can’t see can’t hurt them, right?”

“So you’ve done this before?”

Seungwan only seemed to grow more shocked, which was almost amusing. It looked like her eyes might fall out of their sockets with how widely she was opening them.

“Everyone has,” Joohyun said with an eyeroll. “Or at least all the Slytherins. I can’t speak for the more stick-in-the-mud houses, of course,” she added, pausing to take a deliberately slow sip of her drink. “When sixth year started, we all snuck over here one time or another. We didn’t get drunk, except for Hyelin that one time, but she’s just a lightweight. Nobody would be dumb enough to have to go to morning classes hungover. First period Charms is painful enough clear-headed.”

She could see some apprehension mix in with the horror on Seungwan’s face, which was a good sign. It meant she was thinking about it.

“I’m a Prefect, though,” Seungwan noted hesitantly.

Joohyun shrugged. “You won’t tell on me.”

“I won’t?” Seungwan repeated nervously.

“No, because you’re scared of me,” she pointed out, glancing up from her drink to fix Seungwan with her best penetrating gaze. She only stopped when Seungwan shivered slightly and looked down meekly. “So, have a drink,” she offered pleasantly, gesturing towards Seungwan’s untouched glass.

“I, uh, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Okay, fine,” she said simply, draining the rest of her glass as she got to her feet. She’d tried and it hadn’t worked. Now she could go to bed with a clear conscience and tell Seulgi all about how she’d made an effort. That should get her friend to tone down on the criticism.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” Seungwan asked in surprise, hands reaching out slightly like she would cling to Joohyun’s robe and keep her there.

“Yes. I’m not your babysitter or something. You said no, that’s fine by me, I won’t stick around and talk you into it. I have better things to do.” Well, she had Potions homework to do, but that was still better than peer-pressuring someone she didn’t even like into spending more time with her.

She took three steps towards the door before Seungwan’s voice sounded from behind her. “Wait,” the Hufflepuff requested, quite predictably. She turned around slowly, letting her impatience show. “Do you think it’ll help?”

Seungwan looked at the full glass in front of her and Joohyun followed her line of sight. “There’s only one way to find out,” she replied simply.

The Hufflepuff reached for the glass and slowly pulled it closer, then brought it up to her lips. Joohyun walked back to the table, satisfied with the girl’s choice.

After a few sips, Seungwan put down her glass and looked at Joohyun uncertainly. “Now what?” she finally asked, as the Slytherin offered no comment.

“Now we talk. About your problems.”

“And if I don’t want to talk about my problems?” Seungwan seemed surprised to hear the direct words come out of , but she didn’t back down.

Once again, Joohyun shrugged carelessly. “Then it means you haven’t drunk enough. Everyone wants to talk about their problems when they’ve had enough to drink.”

Seungwan looked at the half-empty glass in her hand. It was easy to tell that she wasn’t in the best place, not just from her drained and exhausted appearance, but from the way her eyes, away from the crowd that kept the veneer of charm and happiness tightly in place, seemed faded, dull under the kitchen lights. Still, Joohyun couldn’t deny that she was surprised when the girl brought the glass to her lips and tilted it back, emptying it completely.

“So,” she said shyly, hands still on the delicate stem of the glass. “How do I know when I’ve had enough?”

Joohyun pulled the glass free from Seungwan’s warm fingers and placed it near her own, allowing the enchanted bottle to fill them once more. Then she returned the drink to its owner, watching as Seungwan immediately reached for it but held it warily, uncertainly. She took a sip of her own glass.

“You’ll know.”