Joohyun lounged by the central staircase, resting on one of the uncomfortable wooden benches that lined the walls of the large room. She looked uneasily ahead, where Seungwan leaned over the banister and studied the chaos of moving staircases and doors that vanished as quickly as they appeared. The thought of the long drop down still made her dizzy after all these years, especially up near the top of the castle.

She considered calling Seungwan over under some pretext, just so she wouldn’t have to keep thinking of that unsettling pit. Maybe to fix her hair; it was always a safe bet that it would be sticking out somewhere. But before she could, the girl they’d been waiting for finally arrived, huffing as she jumped down from the last staircase and narrowly avoided getting stuck there for another round of the sixth-floor stairwell.

“Seungwan!” she called out loudly, startling some of the paintings. Joohyun got up reluctantly to go join the other two. “Thank you, thank you, you’re a lifesaver!”

“Oh, it was nothing.”

Seungwan waved off the extravagant exclamations with a look of embarrassment, but Heeyeon didn’t seem ready to stop anytime soon. Joohyun drew closer and rummaged through Seungwan’s backpack, which lay resting against the banister.

“This, right?” She rose with the heavy Herbology textbook and Heeyeon’s eyes lit up at the sight.

“Yes! Thank you so much,” she carried on, this time aimed at Joohyun. She shrugged, a little uncomfortable at the attention and loudness. “Sorry for all this, but Hyuna locked herself in our dorm room with Hyojong and my book is in there and I need to meet Sunyoung for our group work in” – she waved her wand in the air and the current time appeared before them in large glowing numbers – “fifteen minutes ago.”

Heeyeon looked between the two of them apologetically, as if they were the ones she’d stood up. Joohyun couldn’t think of anything to say in response, as she was too busy trying to banish images of Hyuna and Hyojong from her mind.

“It’s no problem at all, take your time with the book, I won’t need it until tomorrow. You can just give it to me in class!”

Heeyeon’s hand rose to give Seungwan a tight salute, then promptly dropped as she grew self-conscious. “Alright, well… I’ll be twenty minutes late soon, so I should go. Plenty of stairs to grapple with.”

They waved her off, watching with some apprehension as she stepped into a staircase a moment before it flew off at an alarming speed. Then, with a sigh of relief, Joohyun drew back from the edge of the stairwell while Seungwan stood in place and observed Heeyeon's slow but probably not careful descent towards the second floor.

Joohyun studied her figure, not at all confident in her precarious balance.

"Why did we come all the way up here to meet her, anyway?" Seungwan called out without turning, as though she'd just read Joohyun's mind. "She was going down anyway, we could have met her by the library. Unless you wanted to pop by the Owlery or something." She finally turned, leaning against the bannister to support her quip with a teasing smirk.

Joohyun shuddered at the thought. She didn't particularly enjoy the company of a single owl, let alone a pack of them.

With a careful step closer to Seungwan, Joohyun shook her head decisively. "No, not the Owlery." Seungwan's smirk grew into a smile of amusement. "We came to the sixth floor because…" She clung to her arm, as nonchalantly as she could manage it, and tugged Seungwan away from the banister. "I want to show you something."

Seungwan followed without resistance, only stopping to settle her bag on her shoulder. "But there's nothing up here," she pointed out anyway, even as Joohyun pulled her down a corridor.

"Not at first sight."

Seungwan laughed at the enigmatic words. She was in a particularly good mood today, playful and distracted from her worries. Joohyun wanted to encourage it, but she was never sure how, so she just played along with Seungwan's quips and avoided the topic of school.

"But if you look closely?" Seungwan prompted, although she was only looking at Joohyun as she said it.

"If you look closely, and you know what you're looking for… " Joohyun added to the thought as she brought them to a halt in front of a seemingly typical castle wall. Her eyes drifted to the right spot without much searching and she pulled out her wand to tap it, revealing a dark passage.

"It goes up!" Seungwan called out in surprise, head poking into the darkness. She pulled it back out to stare at Joohyun in confusion. "But we're on the sixth floor already. There's barely any more 'up' to go."

"Well, there is one more thing above us."

“Gryffindor Tower!” Seungwan offered jokingly, although they were clearly on the wrong side of the castle for it.

Joohyun quirked a brow, quickly shooting down the idea. Instead of providing the answer, she stepped into the passage, pulling Seungwan along, and began the ascent.

“Ravenclaw Tower?” Seungwan threw out, not sounding all that serious either. Joohyun kept her silence, turning to her expectantly as they stepped back into the light, a familiar balcony in view. “The- Wait, how are we here?”

Joohyun watched as Seungwan spun around to face the wall they’d exited, which already looked like a totally regular wall.

“The castle is magical, Seungwan. It doesn’t exactly follow the typical rules of architecture.”

“So, it really is the Northern Tower.” Joohyun nodded, surprised when Seungwan huffed in response. “There’s a secret passage that leads straight here and you never told me? You’ve been making me climb the entire thing for months!”

“I’m a private person,” Joohyun offered tentatively, shrugging a little in response to the indignation coming off of the tiniest person she knew.

Seungwan shook her head, offence quickly boiling down to incredulity as she stepped around Joohyun and into their balcony. “She tells me about her tragic childhood, but this is too private to share.”

“Well, in my defense, the sharing of the tragic childhood was accidental.” Joohyun hurried to follow Seungwan, wondering whether she was actually upset, but stopped short as the girl turned to face her with the beginning of an amused smile on her face. “This was intentional.”

The smile grew to its full size. “You’re odd,” Seungwan said simply.

“You’re odd.”

They sat side by side, watching the sky above them, covered almost entirely by rolling hills of white. If she stared at them long enough, she would find that the apparently uniform covering was actually moving, carried along by unseen currents, drifting at its own pace towards some far-off destination.

Seungwan was quiet, her eyes following the movement of the clouds while her mind seemed miles away. She looked distracted, but not in a bad way. There was no chewing of her lip, no furrowing of her brows, only a sort of absence to her gaze, like she wasn’t really seeing what she was seeing.

Joohyun didn’t rush her. She leaned back and let the silence wash over her, let the breeze that hit the top of the tower clear away her worries.

“Have you ever kissed anyone?”

Joohyun’s balance faltered for just a second and her head nearly bumped against the wall.

“Have I what?”

“I was just thinking about what Heeyeon said. You know, about Hyuna and Hyojong. And so...” Seungwan’s voice seemed determinedly neutral, but she was still facing forward, away from Joohyun, and her hands were gripped together in her lap.

“Well, uh, you do know that’s not what they’re doing, right? So when you say ‘kiss’…” Joohyun stumbled over her words, also staring straight ahead now. Why was she saying this? She was only digging them both deeper into an apparently endless well of awkwardness.

“No, I know, but I meant just kissing. Not, uh… Just kissing,” Seungwan repeated, a little flustered.

“Right. Then I have, yes.”

“You have?” Seungwan finally turned to face her, and like before, when talking about roller coasters and summer vacations and bicycles, her eyes shone with curiosity, as if yearning to drink it all in by proxy.

Joohyun shrank a little under the scrutiny. “Never anything serious. A few flings over the summer, Muggles. Junmyeon, once. That was a mistake.”

She rolled her eyes, not exactly proud of that particular decision, but thankfully it was Seungwan she was talking to and not her usual teasing friends, so she was saved from the relentless jokes she’d have had to endure otherwise. Instead, Seungwan’s eyes continued to glitter eagerly, and Joohyun began to fear that she’d ask for details, or something equally uncomfortable.

“How about you?” she threw out quickly, and Seungwan deflated in response, the glow in her features fading quickly.

“Oh, not really,” she said lightly, a wistful little smile filling in for the previous excitement. “Never had the time for it.”

“Too busy studying?”

Seungwan’s chuckle was answer enough, and for a moment they lapsed back into silence. Joohyun watched as she returned her attention to the sky, now a little darker, as the innocent white clouds of before were replaced by heavier, menacing ones, the unflinching colour of steel, heavy with icy rain.

She was distracted, like a few moments earlier, her gaze distant, her lips curved into a slight smile. Just like their conversation during the Winter break, she’d been content enough to drop the subject, as though it felt inevitable that she didn’t get to experience the things she dreamed of. As though it was natural that what she wanted would always be sacrificed in the name of her endless responsibilities.

“Seungwan?” Joohyun asked as she made the sudden decision. Seungwan hummed wordlessly in acknowledgment. “You’ve never gone to a Ball, have you? Aside from your Prefect duties, I mean.”

Seungwan shook her head, still silent, still off in her own world. Joohyun shifted in her seat, a bit uncomfortable.

“Would you want to? I know it’s not quite a kiss, but… would that be something you’d like? To go to the Ball with someone, and wear a nice dress, and dance.”

“Yes, that sounds nice,” Seungwan said absently, and Joohyun fought the urge to roll her eyes, because that girl was being impossibly dense today. She took in a long, slow breath, and blew it out in a sigh.

“Shall I take you?”

“Where?”

“To the Spring Ball.”

Seungwan finally snapped out of her daydreams, turning to Joohyun with eyes that spelled out panic more than gratitude.

“The- This year’s Spring Ball?”

“That’s the only one we can attend, unless you plan on failing.”

“No, I definitely don’t plan that! But the Ball is in a few weeks. And I have homework.”

“You always have homework.”

“Yes, but...” Seungwan floundered, as if the reasons why she couldn’t go were so intrinsic to her existence that she was having trouble verbalizing them. “It’s a whole evening.”

“Wouldn’t you be going anyway, as Head Girl? If you go with me, you’ll spend just as long there, but you won’t have to worry about someone spiking the drinks.”

“Do you think they’ll do it again? We never caught the culprit for the whole floating fiasco-”

“Seungwan,” Joohyun cut in drily before she could ramble her way out of answering.

Seungwan paused to fix her worried gaze on Joohyun. “It’s so close to the exams.”

“It’s right before break. I can help you study, like last time.” Seungwan’s mouth opened and closed in silence, an internal conflict fueling her hesitation, and Joohyun carried on. “You don’t have to go, if you don’t want to.”

There was a time to push and a time to let go. And Joohyun would like to believe that she was getting better at telling the two apart, with Seungwan. So she let go, and hoped that Seungwan would allow herself to be selfish, for once.

For a moment, the only sound was the whistle of the rising wind against the edge of the balcony. The clouds grew heavier and darker, and soon the rain would fall down in thick sheets, but for now they were still safe.

Seungwan chewed on her bottom lip, and Joohyun said nothing, only waited.

“I do want to,” the girl finally admitted. She seemed almost scared to say it, but Joohyun clung to the confession at once.

“Then we’ll go!”

“But-”

Joohyun silenced the protest with a quick lunge forward, grabbing Seungwan’s arm and facing her with a bright, excited smile. She watched the girl’s mouth open, form tentatively around the first syllable, then give up on fighting it.

“Then we’ll go,” Seungwan said instead.

(…)

"I have to admit, I didn't see this coming. But I'm proud of you!"

Hyuna clapped Joohyun on the back, reinforcing her words, and Sunmi nodded at Joohyun as though sharing the sentiment.

"Um… Thanks? It isn't that big of a deal, really." Both girls refuted her words vehemently, only confusing Joohyun further. "I just thought it would be a nice thing to do," she added hesitantly, unsure of what exactly was happening.

"A nice thing to do? It's-" Sunmi paused abruptly, then began studying Joohyun very closely. Her eyes narrowed in concentration and Joohyun leaned just slightly out of her reach.

"Joohyun?" Hyuna asked, her voice a bit too sweet for comfort. "You did say you were… taking Seungwan to the Spring Ball, right?"

"Well yes, she's never been to one. So I thought I'd take her to this one, let her experience it." Suddenly both girls seemed decidedly less proud and quite a bit frustrated. "I don't know why you're being so weird about this, I've taken Seulgi loads of times and you never locked me in a room to congratulate me."

"As a friend," Sunmi deadpanned. Joohyun couldn't tell whether she'd meant it as a question.

"Yes, and now Seungwan as a friend."

Hyuna huffed and threw herself onto the nearest chair. Sunmi did the same, although she was a bit more understated about it. Hyuna leaned towards her, hand outstretched.

"I want my money back."

"Technically, she is taking-"

"Those were not the terms of the bet and you know it."

"What bet?" Joohyun cut in, still more confused than anything else, but now suspecting that she should also be offended.

"None of your business," Hyuna grumbled. Her hand hovered in the air, right under Sunmi's nose, and finally the Hufflepuff yielded and dropped a single golden Galleon on her palm. The hand slid slowly back into its owner's pocket, bringing the money along.

"Is this about me?" Joohyun asked, not at all confident that she would get an actual answer. Both girls studied her wordlessly, frustration still evident on their faces.

"I'm going to tell her," Sunmi finally exploded, smacking Hyuna's hands away as they reached out to silence her, or maybe keep her from getting up, which she was now doing.

“What happened to letting it unfold?” Hyuna yelped, stretching awkwardly from her sitting position to try once more to restrain Sunmi.

“It’s never going to unfold! We’ll keep sitting back and watching and not a single bit of unfolding will take place. If anything, it’ll just… fold more.”

“What’s folding?” Joohyun wasn’t even sure what she was asking at this point.

“You!”

Well, that checked out.

“And what exactly am I doing to, uh, fold?”

Hyuna gave up and released her grip on Sunmi, who immediately lost her balance and almost fell face-first on the floor. The Gryffindor dug her fingers into the bridge of her nose while Sunmi rushed forward and pushed her own accusing finger deep into Joohyun’s personal space.

“You’re taking Seungwan to the Spring Ball!”

“I-“

“As a friend!”

A pause. Sunmi panted a little. Hyuna seemed dead to the world. Joohyun’s mouth slowly drew open, then hung wordless against the silence.

“I don’t follow.”

“Well, you’re- You’re-“ Sunmi spluttered fruitlessly, devolving into a series of frustrated grunts. She sighed. “I can’t do it.” Hyuna barely had the time to smirk before the Hufflepuff was turning her way. “You do it.”

“I’m not-“

“Can someone please tell me what is going on?”

“Ugh, fine, you like Seungwan,” Hyuna spat out with an eyeroll.

“Not as a friend,” Sunmi hurried to add.

Joohyun ran a hand over her face. Did they really have to make such a big deal out of their stupid joke? “Yes, yes, very funny, I’ve gotten back together with my ex and now we’re going to the Ball together,” she said tiredly. Maybe they’d give up now that they’d gotten their punchline out of the way.

“No, not funny. Extremely not funny.”

“Tragic, even,” Hyuna offered.

“Your sense of humor? I agree.”

“Remember when I said you could be very dense when you wanted to?” Sunmi asked. “You’re doing it right now.”

“Technically you said that about Seungwan.”

“We’re not joking,” Hyuna cut in, before Sunmi could begin on whatever frustrated tirade was building up behind those flaming eyes. Joohyun would have thanked her for cutting off what would probably have been ten minutes they’d never get back, but she was too busy trying to process her words.

“Of course you’re joking,” she said, a little stupidly. “Obviously I don’t-“

“No, you definitely do.”

“You seriously think I like Seungwan? Like like her?”

“We know that you do.”

The situation was getting to be a bit too much for Joohyun. Both of her friends studied her with looks that mixed frustration and compassion, so sure of their conclusions, and all their insistence seemed to make the room spin around her, robbing her of all balance.

“I don’t, okay? I…” She took a deep breath, trying to clear her mind. They were wrong, obviously. They didn’t have the full picture, didn’t know that Seungwan held a piece of her that barely anyone else in the world did. “Look, it’s not like that. It’s… Okay, we do have a special connection, and I can see how that would look from the outside, how it could be misunderstood as… a crush, or something. But it’s not like that, really.”

“Not like that?” Sunmi repeated dubiously.

“What do you mean, a special connection?” Hyuna asked, equally unconvinced. “Is she your long-lost sister or something?”

“Oh, Joohyun, we love you, but I don’t think I can condone .”

“No, not, none of- Look, we’re purebloods,” Joohyun offered wildly, anything to shut down that particularly disturbing line of thought. “We’re both purebloods, alright?”

“I see,” Hyuna hummed thoughtfully. “I guess purebloods are used to .”

“A little inbreeding in the name of keeping the bloodlines clean,” Sunmi added helpfully. Joohyun shook her head wildly at their words, but they didn’t spare her a glance.

“Still, sisters?”

“We aren’t related! At all! We’re just… She’s a pureblood like me, she’s got…” She paused for a moment, centered herself before carrying on with the lie she was so used to telling, to mingling with the truth. “She’s got a family like mine, the traditional type. We’ve been through a lot of the same things, so she gets it when I… A lot of stuff is just easier with her.”

Her friends paused, thankfully. They exchanged glances, seeming to calm each other down in the process, which was wonderful, because Joohyun didn’t feel up to more of the talk. More of anything, really. She sank back in her seat, suddenly exhausted.

“That makes sense,” Hyuna began gently. Sunmi nodded by her side.

“Yeah, that’s… It’s good that you have that connection,” she agreed. “I think we went about this the wrong way. Maybe we shouldn’t have said anything.”

“It’s okay, you just misunderstood. It happens.”

Hyuna opened , then closed it as Sunmi discreetly elbowed her side. She threw the Hufflepuff a venomous gaze, clearly displeased at the unspoken message that Joohyun pretended not to notice, then turned back to face her with a supportive, entirely venom-free smile.

“Yep,” she said lightly. “It sure does.”

They didn’t believe her, clearly, but at least they’d decided to drop it. That was already a success, Joohyun supposed. She returned their smiles, trying her best to hide her unease, but it fluttered in her chest all the same.

They didn’t know the full picture, so of course they couldn’t understand why she preferred Seungwan’s company, why being around her made her feel so light, so free. Why Seungwan made it easier to smile, to laugh, to relax, to open up and be herself without fear of being judged or misunderstood.

Why she counted the hours until they could meet, just the two of them, why she tried her hardest to make the girl laugh and see her eyes fill with light, why she’d share all of Seungwan’s burdens so she wouldn’t have to carry them alone.

Why she told her things she’d never told anyone else. Why Seungwan kept surprising her, by making her surprise herself.

They just didn’t understand their connection. That was all it was.