Nayeon is starting to look forward to Minji’s weekends with Mina.

Mostly because of how taken Minji is with her mama to the point that Nayeon feels as though Minji has known Mina all her life, not just weeks.

But… if Nayeon is being honest with herself, it’s also because she’s starting to enjoy Mina’s company again.

And she knows it’s a dangerous slope—one that can lead to a potential heartbreak all over again, and Nayeon is sure her heart can’t handle another one as devastating as when Mina left—but she’s also powerless against the pull of her attraction to Mina. Helpless against the… ‘affection’ that threatens to swallow her whole whenever she watches Mina smile at Minji as if she’s the most precious being in the world.

Nayeon is only human. And despite the real possibility of Mina being with someone that isn’t her, Nayeon can’t deny herself the pleasure of being in Mina’s company. Even with the… hug incident last Wednesday—which Nayeon has decidedly scrubbed out of her mind.

Yup. Momo will absolutely murder her. Or bury her alive.

But this is the third consecutive week that it’s just Nayeon, Mina, and Minji, and if Momo was serious about creating a safe distance between Nayeon and Mina, then she should be here, entertaining Nayeon.

But she’s not, so who can blame Nayeon for spending her afternoon with Mina and Minji on a blanket in their now favorite park?

Mina’s quiet voice gently pulls Nayeon out of her reverie and she’s just in time to hear Mina saying, “Minji-yah, mama made this for you.”

In Mina’s hand is a sky blue knitted beanie that Nayeon already knows Minji will wear out with how much she’s going to use it from now on—all because it came from her mama.

“A hat!” Minji exclaims as she excitedly takes the beanie from Mina’s hold.

Mina’s smile is fond as she gently corrects Minji, “It’s called a beanie, sweetheart.”

“Beanie,” Minji repeats, smiling adorably at the beanie in her hands like her mama just gifted her an actual penguin. “Thank you, mama!”

Mina smiles so wide at Minji that her eyes turn into crescent moons and Nayeon feels her heart melt into a useless puddle at the love dripping from Mina’s answer, “You’re welcome, Minji-yah.”

Nayeon being Nayeon decides to focus her attention somewhere else before she herself melts into a puddle of goo. Mina and Minji are just too endearing together and her heart can only take so much cuteness in one day.

Her eyes fall upon the beanie in Minji’s hands and Nayeon realizes that it’s actually handmade. Probably by Mina herself.

It even has a little penguin head on the side and Nayeon swears it’s as if Mina’s doing everything in her power to render Nayeon defenseless against her charms.

Because while Nayeon knows Mina has always had the affinity to make handmade gifts, it’s the little details, the personalization in her crafts that make them so special for Nayeon.

It reminds her of how much Mina remembers the little things about someone and puts thoughts behind every action, every gift.

Mina’s always been genuine like that.

The pang of yearning in Nayeon’s chest isn’t new. What is new is the sudden want to throw her hands around Mina, bury herself in the crook of her neck, and whisper how much she—

Nayeon shakes her head to rid of the intrusive thought—she’s having more slips lately, —and simply poses a question to her daughter to distract herself. “Minji, sweetie, did you see the penguin?”

Minji jerks as if electrocuted and she looks around the park while asking, “Penguin? Where? Penguin?”

Nayeon can’t help but chuckle. “On the beanie, baby.”

Realization slowly dawns on Minji’s face and Nayeon watches attentively as Minji turns the beanie around in her tiny hands until she finds the penguin's head. “Penguin! Mama, penguin!”

Mina nods, shooting Nayeon a quick smile—which Nayeon simply interprets as grateful—before she traces the said penguin's head with the tip of her finger. “Yes, sweetheart. I added that for you. It also has your name on it.”

At the information, Minji frowns and looks down at the beanie again to find her name. Even Nayeon leans forward to look for it herself.

Mina turns the beanie until the inscription is visible to Minji and Nayeon, her movements gentle as if any hasty actions can pop the bubble their family is in. “It’s in Kanji. Just like the one on your mommy’s.”

It’s Nayeon’s turn to frown and Mina takes advantage of her confusion to take another beanie from her bag and present it to Nayeon. “Don’t think I forgot about you, unnie.”

The beanie that Mina offers reminds Nayeon of the crocheted beanie in the box under her bed and Nayeon has to swallow past the sudden lump in to be able to focus on the present.

You’re with Minji. Get your together.

So, instead of hurting herself with memories of the past, Nayeon focuses on the current beanie in her hands; how it looks and has the same shade of blue as Minji’s but instead of a penguin head, it has a bunny and Nayeon’s name in Kanji.

She knows as much, not because Mina said it herself mere seconds ago, but because Mina taught her Japanese at Nayeon’s insistence.

“I wanna know what you write on your post-its.”

“They’re in Kanji, unnie.”

“I know. So, teach me. I wanna learn about you and your culture and your language because I love you. And also so we can talk in Japanese behind people’s backs.”

Minji’s exclamation of “Mommy, matchy!” pulls Nayeon out of her memories and she gives Minji a quick smile before turning her attention to Mina.

“Thank you, Mina-yah,” she murmurs in a quiet voice, afraid to sound any louder lest she says something… careless. Something true. Something that’s getting harder to keep the longer she hides it.

But the quiet thank you is enough for Mina, anyway, and the gummy smile she sends Nayeon’s way is proof enough of that.

In the end, it’s the little things about Mina that lead to Nayeon’s downfall. Again.

Nayeon needs to confess to someone and who could slap the truth on her face better than Momo?

Who cares if it’s a Sunday night?

“This better be good,” Momo says as soon as she opens the door to her shared apartment with Dahyun.

Everything about her screams of ‘just got out bed’—there are faint red marks on her cheek that probably came from being squished against a pillow, her hair looks a lot like a bird’s nest, and her clothes are crinkled—that it makes Nayeon kinda guilty for driving here and relentlessly pressing their doorbell at twelve midnight.

At least she had the foresight to leave Minji at Sana and Tzuyu’s for the night or there would’ve been two grumpy people glaring at her right now.

“It is,” Nayeon replies as she shoves her way inside the apartment without even needing an invite from Momo.

“Sure, come on in. Make yourself at home,” Momo says sarcastically as she closes the door and trudges her way towards the couch where Nayeon is already sitting.

Nayeon can’t help but fidget in her seat as she asks, “Dahyunnie? Ari, Boo, and Dobby?”

Momo tries and fails to fight off a yawn. “All asleep. Which I should be too, but you woke me up so what do you want, unnie?”

Nayeon looks down, unable to speak up. So instead, she fiddles with the ring on her necklace.

On her drive here, she thought of ways to tell Momo that she feels like she’s falling for Mina all over again. Hell, even when she and Minji were going to Sana and Tzuyu’s for an impromptu overnight, Nayeon planned all the ways that she could confess to Momo about her feelings for Mina.

But now, sitting here on Momo and Dahyun’s couch with Momo looking exasperated and exhausted, Nayeon’s left with nothing.

“Nayeon-unnie,” Momo prods when Nayeon doesn’t say anything for a few minutes. Her voice is still laced with sleep but Nayeon also detects an underlying threat there. One thing that Momo loves more than Dahyun and food is sleep, and Nayeon is stealing it from her right now. “It’s Monday tomorrow, and we both have work so if you could just—”

“It’s about Mina.”

That abruptly halts whatever Momo’s about to say. And Nayeon chances a look at her friend to see her with her brows knitted and lips downturned.

“Come again?”

“It’s…” Nayeon can’t help but lower her voice even more, suddenly afraid of how Momo’s going to react. Maybe this is a mistake after all. Maybe she should’ve gone to Jihyo’s instead. Or her Joohyun-unnie’s. Even Jennie would be a safer option now that Nayeon thinks about it.

“Unnie.”

“It’s about Mina,” repeats Nayeon, a little scared at Momo’s stern tone.

Momo only sounds like that whenever she’s actually pissed—her being annoyed at Jeongyeon and Nayeon doesn’t count—and knowing how angry she becomes whenever Mina’s name is involved makes Nayeon fully regret her decision now.

Why’d she even come here?

But the anger that Nayeon is expecting doesn’t come. Instead, Momo seems calm when she asks, “What about her?”

Nayeon chances a look up at her friend and sees Momo eyeing her with an unreadable expression. Momo’s emotions are usually easy to read since they only vary from disgusted and annoyed to hungry, sleepy, and happy, but right now, Nayeon can’t pinpoint the look on Momo’s face.

It’s as if she becomes the master of emotions when it involves Mina.

Despite that, though, Nayeon knows she should say something. Never mind that this could probably be a mistake. She’s already here now, anyway, so she might as well go through with it.

“So, we’ve been spending more time together, right?” Nayeon begins, hoping that her explanation will give enough context for Momo to surmise what she’s trying to say without having to say it out loud, “Because of Minji, obviously, but also because we’re co-workers now, too. And I know you’re going to judge me but I…”

“But you…?”

“Mina’s different from the first time I talked to her,” Nayeon says instead, after a while of just gathering her messy thoughts. “The first time, she was so docile and compliant—and she still is even now—but there’s something different about her. Like she’s more confident but at the same time hesitant. Like she wants… more but is too afraid to ask. I mean, she’s been doing all these nice things for me lately and I don’t understand why she’s doing them without explaining anything first.”

“Did you just come here to psychoanalyze Mina’s behavior for the past weeks?” Momo asks, voice tinged with sarcasm and incredulity. Nayeon can’t blame her. The way she said the words make it seem like she does want to psychoanalyze Mina.

But that’s not the reason why she’s here.

“No.” Nayeon shakes her head and she can see in the corner of her eye that Momo’s frowning at her again. “You need context so you’d understand why I feel like—why it’s—why—”

There are a few murmured curse words that Momo mumbles under her breath, and Nayeon doesn’t know if she should be grateful that Momo caught on to what she’s trying to say or afraid that Momo quickly understood the underlying meaning in her words.

“You’re falling for her again.”

It’s not even a question.

And maybe that’s what makes Nayeon inhale a sharp intake of breath and clench her eyes shut. To deny the truth to herself.

She had the same conversation with Jennie, and while that yielded a different conclusion, somehow, hearing the words come from Momo hits way closer to home.

Somehow, it feels as though she’s in the wrong for feeling like this. Not because Mina can be with someone else now but because she’s too powerless to fight her feelings when she knows she should.

Mina hasn’t even said anything about what happened between them and here is Nayeon, thinking with her emotions instead of with her head.

Pathetic.

“You don’t know how much I wanna murder you right now,” Momo says and Nayeon already knows the words come out through gritted teeth.

The accuracy of her and Sana’s predictions makes Nayeon chuckle despite herself. She knew that already, and yet, here she is.

“I told you that you deserve an explanation first,” Momo is saying, her voice low. It’s probably because she’s trying not to wake Dahyun or she’s doing her best not to shout at Nayeon. “I told you that she needs to grovel, unnie. I remind you through texts twice a week. ‘Don’t let her back in too easily.’ That’s what I keep saying. And now you’re telling me you’re falling for her again? Just because she’s being nice? Are you stupid?”

The words feel a lot like a slap to the face.

But isn’t that what Nayeon wanted in the first place? To be reminded that falling for her ex who left her at the altar is just plain foolish?

Even still, Momo’s words cut through her like a knife, slicing away the thin layers of defense that remain, and Nayeon can’t help but lash out at feeling so… bare.

“I’m still your unnie, Momo-yah, don’t you talk to me like that.”

Momo doesn’t even flinch at the seriousness of Nayeon’s reply. “If you wanted sympathy then you should’ve gone to Jihyo instead.” Their gazes meet. “But you went here so I’m pretty sure what you really want is a dose of bitter truth. A reminder.”

Nayeon doesn’t look away from Momo’s intense gaze, even as Momo says, “Mina left you, unnie. I don’t care if she’s being nice to you now but you need to remind yourself that she left you with no goodbyes whatsoever. You deserve better than that. How many times do I have to remind you that you deserve more than the bare minimum that Mina’s giving you right now?”

“It’s not bare minimum.” The words are out of before Nayeon can even stop herself.

.

If Momo’s look can send Nayeon six feet underground, she would’ve been bones by now. But then she sighs after a long minute of tense silence and Nayeon doesn’t know what she’s going to say.