I took a deep breath as Wook was cuddled in my lap playing with the flap of leather that was hanging off my very old gloves. We were still in the truck since if I was home I wouldn't be cuddling with him even if I wanted to. Being gay shouldn't be this much work. I looked down at Wook who was still very interested in my glove. I smiled at how cute he was batting on the lose leather.

"Wook?" I asked and he snapped out of whatever world he was in and looked up at me.

"You don't have to tell me Yesung. I will understand." Wook said seriously. I shook my head no. If I wanted even something remotely close to a relationship with Wook he needed to know everything. And by now I think I am smart enough to know if he is using me, but then again the last few times I said the samething. I was willing to take a chance though even if one of us was going to get hurt. Right now, I'd be willing to have it be me.

"No, I do have to. Now you sit there and listen." I demanded as I took another deep breath. "The reason I am so closed off to you or was anyways was because ever since I realized I was gay, my dad, who doesn't know, would hirer new workers, guys for that matter. They were all different kinds of cute, hot, adorable, y, and just plain gorgeous. I fell for every single one of them. I think some of them weren't even gay they just wanted . Anyways, I'd fall for all these guys because I was being stupid thinking each one was different. I believed all their sobs stories which turned out not to be true. I'd ask them and they just shrug. Anyways, I'll tell you about the last guy I fell for that opened my eyes that people where using me." I said not really proud of this story.

Flash back

It was our new workers first day. He was gorgeous. He had muscle, was tan and asian. His name was Jung. I knew I was going to fall for yet another guy. This time I decided I wasn't holding back. Right now, I didn't care if I regreted it later (I regretted saying that later too). I could tell he was gay just by the way he acted and walked. It was pretty obvious. Although he was more a manly gay then girly. Not that I cared though.

I could also tell that he was a bad boy. Or someone who was a little bit of a rebel and liked someone wild. I wanted him badly. Everyday it got bad, I had a hard time keeping myself under control. Everytime our hands would touch I wanted to kiss him right then. But I held back since my dad was right there.

The moment he felt and the cost was clear I pushed Jung up against the wall and slammed my lips against his. Surprisingly he kissed me back, our tounges battling for domanice. Our clothes where off in minutes and he was topping me. I was a mess in minutes, but it was all over too fast. When he got up put on his clothes, I laid their confused. Did he even like me?

"What are you doing?" I asked afaird of the answer. He shook his head.

"You're too easy Yesung. You were clearly desperate to get some, but you wanted more after that. Nobody likes a desperate person. Piece of advice if you don't want to get ed over don't fall for anyone." Those were Jung's last words before he got his pay and left. My dad asked me what went wrong I said he had some family issues. I cried for a week straight feeling disgusted with myself.

*end of flash back*

"Yesung, that's horrible!" Wookie said snuggling against my chest. I chuckled at how cute he was being. 

"It's not that bad, I mean sure it's not fun but I am still alive still living just this is going to sound so snappy but my heart is just broken up." I said hating how sappy I sounded. Wookie smiled kissing my cheek before returning to snuggle against my chest. 

"I promise to never hurt you." Wookie said looking at me with serious eyes. I smiled somehow not believing his words. I don't think he'd hurt me on purpose like those other guys but I do think something could hurt me that he wouldn't mean to hurt me. 

"I know." I said then kissed him again. Our lips fit together perfectly just the thought of this gave me butteflies which I had never gotten kissing a guy. I pulled away knowing we had to get back to work or I had to since Wookie couldn't quit well let's just say that fence post thing to pound the fence posts in is too heavy for the baby Wookie. I smiled remember how he had attempted to pick it up. I went back to pounding posts in finally finishing a few hours later.

I walked over to the truck to find Wookie fast asleep. I smiled getting in on the drivers side and starting our jounery which wasn't much of one, home. When we pulled up Wookie's head was on my shoulder due to being rocked around in the truck by my driving over our bubby road. When I turned off the car I saw Siwon and Jessica staring at me with wide eyes. I titled my head confused then looked down to see why they were. Oh Wookie was sleeping on my shoulder. I rolled my eyes getting out of the truck careful not to wake Wookie up and carried him out of the truck. 

"Yesung, after you take him to bed I need to talk to you." Jessica said in a stern voice. I rolled my eyes yet again not really caring what she had to say. I put Wookie to bed giving him a kiss on the forehead before closing his door and heading down stairs. "Let's go out to the barn." She said taking Siwon's hand and I followed. 

"What?" I asked really wanting to go take a shower and sleep since I had worked all day besides the part where I kissed Wookie. I was careful not to smile since she would probably think I am thinking this is funny. 

"What was that I just saw?" She asked gripping Siwon's hand tighter. 

"Wookie fell asleep. I can't excatly hold his head away from me while I'm driving." I said trying not to raise my voice at her. She was younger than me and scolding me? For what?! It wasn't a crime to have some---Oh I see now. 

"Yesung it's not the sleeping on the shoulder that bothers me it's the fact that you seemed to enjoy it!" She snapped pratically cutting off the blood flow in Siwon's hand who removed his hand from her's clearly not liking being here. At first I didn't say anything, to be honest for the first in my life I didn't give a what she thought. "It was just wrong the way you were smiling and actually looking like you were--

"Happy? Like I was happy?! Am I not allowed to be happy?!" I asked still trying to keep my voice down. 

"You are but not with a--"

"Shut up." I said and she blinked shocked at what I had just said. "I asked you if I was allowed to be happy and you said yes but not with a guy? Right? So basically I am not allowed to be happy? Well, Jessica for someone who is supposed to be love, kind, caring and whatever other nice things you can think of you aren't. Just by telling someone they can't be happy because they are gay. First of all don't ever tell me what I can and can't be. Second don't EVER CHEW ME OUT IN FRONT OF YOUR BOYFRIEND EVER AGAIN! DO YOU EVER THINK OF ANYONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF?!" I screamed realizing how selfish she was. She brough Siwon to back her up who ended up having this look like kill me now please! She stood there shocked at my sudden anger. "I honestly could care less as to what you think of me. I am happy! I haven't been happy since mom died! And now I, Yesung, am not allowed to ever be happy?! Well, you! I don't care anymore! I DONT CARE!" I shouted storming out of the barn tears flowing down my face. 

I hated her. I hated my sister so much. 

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Wow is all i can say. I hate writing Yesung in pain :/ poor Sungie!! Comment and sub!! :D