Eun’s diary

Gonna keep it short because I’ve got lots of things to do today! Came back to captain’s office to organize some stuff for him today so got a chance to write a sentence or two in my diary. Well, lots have happened. Our little tiger will officially be one month old tomorrow! We’ll hold a small celebration at the Gu’s place today, just both our families. Then, when our little tiger reaches 100 days, we’ll host a larger banquet and invite everyone from town~ With that being said, I have to rush now because I still have to buy lots of things for Mrs. Gu, she gave me this long grocery list I’m afraid would take me half a day to complete.

How’s my wife you may ask? Well, thankfully, her mood is better now as she and I both got used to having a new life living among us. Yes, she still has to wake up multiple times every night to feed our little tiger and she barely gets enough sleep during the day, but she’s more willing to share her thoughts with me now. I have also become a professional at babysitting since I’m constantly making sure our little tiger is at peace while my wife catches a few winks during the day. So other than feeding, I can basically handle all Ho’s other needs – and yes, I am very proud of myself. My wife’s bleeding has stopped so she’s slowly regaining her strength…I didn’t know mothers still have to bleed for so long after the baby’s born. And the pain, I thought the pain would go after the baby’s out but every now and again, my wife would complain of the pain hitting her like it did while she was delivering Ho. I feel sorry for her, if only there’s anyway I could help her return to her old self sooner. And the placenta, yikes, Mrs. Gu had it cleaned and suggested selling it to our town’s pharmacist after it’s been properly dried. I don’t care how healthy it is but there’s no way I’ll ever put any of that in my mouth even if my doctor tells me to. NEVER! My wife agreed to it of course, she’d do anything if it can help our family earn a few more coins. Speaking of which, she still has the energy to weave baskets during the day…I told her more than once to rest if she has time but she insisted that she has to carry on. What am I to do with her? Am I still, even with such a stable job, incapable of giving her a sense of security as a husband, as our child’s father?

Heck, I spent way too much time writing this! I have really got to go!

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(Soondeok wakes up at the cry of her son and quickly goes over to his cradle)

‘Is our little prince hungry? There there, don’t cry, here you go, good~ Shhhh, don’t wake your daddy up okay little fella? There we go, you’re hungry aren’t you? Take your time, slowly, don’t choke, okay?’

(Soondeok puts a shawl around herself to keep warm then looks around the bedroom, only then did she realize that Eun was not in bed)

‘It’s way past midnight, where can he be?’

(After feeding her son and making sure he’s sound asleep, Soondeok gently put him back into his cradle and then tiptoes out of the room. She can vaguely see light coming out from the other room at the other end of the cottage, from Eun’s own little workshop. Soondeok knocks on the door gently then goes in)

‘What are you doing here at this hour, honey?’

‘Oh Deok ah! I didn’t know you’re up. Did Ho wake you up again?’

‘It’s alright, he’s sleeping now.’

(Eun’s sitting in front of his working table so Soondeok gets over to give him a kiss, followed by a back hug)

‘What are you making, darling?’

‘I’m just carving something for our son.’

(Eun shows Soondeok his ‘masterpiece’, two wooden figure – a boy and a girl)

‘So, Deok ah, what do you think?’

‘It’s beautiful, Oppa. Ho will definitely love it. The boy’s you, right? And the girl’s me. Lovely.’

‘Well, this is just my first try…I’m gonna get better at it…eventually.’

‘I’m sure you will, darling. I was so tired I fell asleep after feeding Ho earlier tonight…we didn’t even chat before bed… How’s work today?’

‘Work was fine. I got all the things sorted out in an hour or so – your husband’s smart you know.’

‘I asked how your day was, Oppa, it wasn’t an invitation for you to brag~’

‘Well, you’ll think otherwise once you see THIS~’

(Eun takes out a bag of coins from his drawer and hands it over to Soondeok)

‘OPPA! Since when did you get all these coins?!’

‘I…you see…I realized I did over-buy some stuff during my voyage so I sold them in the local market bit by bit over the past month. I’d say I’m quite a salesman~’

‘You sold stuff? How did I not realize?’

‘You’ve been busy with Ho, of course you wouldn’t have spotted it! And the stuff I sold were the things you never liked anyway so… Anyhow, I hope your mind can be more at peace…we’re not short on money anymore darling, I wish you would give yourself some room for rest…’

‘Oppa…you’re telling me to quit weaving baskets, no?’

‘Yes I am. I want to let you know that you can trust me as your husband, that you can fully rely on me to support this family. And…I worry about you.’

‘Darling, I know I can always count on you so please don’t think that I can’t make myself rely on you…it’s not that. I know you’re worried about me, but…I’m not weaving baskets solely to make money. To be honest, I’m doing it for Mrs. Gu’s friend. And…for myself.’

‘I don’t see how that’s something you would do for yourself, Deok ah.’

(Soondeok’s voice softens)

‘Sometimes I can’t even remember who I used to be anymore, Oppa…ever since our son’s born…or even before that. It’s like I am slowly disappearing into thin air, that I eventually will cease to exist, like how the fog fades as the sun rises.’

‘What do you mean, Deok ah?’

‘I mean…not me as in Ho’s mother or Eun’s wife…but me as in…myself – Park Soondeok. I’ve been pretending to be this “Hyeran” person for so long in front of Mrs. Gu and others that I…I have slowly forgotten who I used to be…and somehow…weaving or working in this matter is helping me remember that before I was Ho’s mother, before I was your wife…I was Park Soondeok.’

(Eun brings Soondeok close to him)

‘I’m sorry I didn’t know, darling…Deok ah, I’m sorry I didn’t know.’

‘It’s not your fault, Oppa…’

‘No no no, it is. I should’ve known. Well, is there anything I can do to help you feel like yourself again?’

‘I haven’t quite thought of how though…’

‘Well don’t you worry honey, I’ll think of something. But right now it is getting quite late and both of us should head back to bed before our little tiger wakes up again.’

‘You named him right, Oppa, he really is a little tiger. The way he cries…boy…he cries like a tiger growling all day long! Shaking the room with no mercy!’

‘He’s my son, he’s bound to take after me a thing or two. My mother told me that I used to be a naughty noisy boy myself.’

‘Used to be? You still are, Oppa!’

‘Am I? Then, my dear wife, will you allow me to be naughty tonight, hmm?’

‘Get your hands off of me, Oppa! You want to wake him up or what?’

(Eun sweeps Soondeok off of her feet and says)

‘Have you forgotten, my darling wife? We have an extra bed upstairs~ Plus, I have kept my chin smooth and shaven~’

‘And I have an extra punch for you if you dare carry me up there tonight and do anything to me beyond a kiss.’

[Note from author: Another fun fact I would like to add to their son's name 'Baek-Ho' since none of you seemed to have noticed. Baekhyun's name was supposed to be 'Baek-Ho' before his grandfather decided to name him 'Baekhyun' at last.]