IT'S A BABY ___!

Diary Entry - Eundeok Parenting Life (Baekhera)

Previously...

Old Gu: 'So honey, uhh...should I bring a doctor back?'

(Old Gu calls from outside)

Mrs. Gu: 'No, bring instead the midwife! Hurry!'

'THE WHAT?'

(Soondeok and Eun both blurts out in unison, and just then, Soondeok's water breaks.)

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Mrs. Gu: 'Beautiful! Your water's broken, I should expect things to go in full speed now. Well, you heard me husband, go! NOW! This baby may not even wait till the midwife arrives! Never mind, you know what? Go instead to our place honey, you should be able to find the baby stuff in our storeroom, the things our grandchildren once used, it's not brand new but it'll do for now. Also, fetch me some clean cloth. HURRY!'

(Confused, Old Gu asks as he paces to and fro beside the door)

Old Gu: 'But what about the midwife?'

Mrs. Gu: 'Forget about the midwife! I'll deliver the baby myself! It's not like I've never done it before. Now go, we're losing daylight!'

(Old Gu leaves at once while Mrs. Gu is left to answer so many questions asked by the young couple)

Eun: 'Mrs. Gu, you said a baby...what baby?!'

(Mrs. Gu rolls her eyes)

Mrs. Gu: 'Heck of course it's your baby! Now Hyeran dear, I need to feel you below, it'll be rather uncomfortable, but I have to see how far you're at.'

Soondeok: 'Please make this pain stop, please...'

(Soondeok can't comprehend all that's happening, she just wanted it all to end.)

Mrs. Gu: 'It will stop the moment you push this baby out, now Hyun-ah, don't just stand there! Make yourself useful! Boil water and get us some blankets! Bring something for your wife to eat too! She needs all the strength she has to push this baby out!'

Soondeok: 'Oppa where're you going? Mrs. Gu...what's going on? What is happening? Tell me what's going on?'

(Soondeok questions as Eun rushes to the kitchen. Mrs. Gu bends down and speaks into her ear, slowly but firmly.)

'Hyeran, dear, I know the pain is making you lose focus, but I need you to work with me now, okay? There is a baby coming, YOUR baby, and you need to help the baby out dear.'

'But...I can't have a baby, I told you Mrs. Gu...the doctor said I'll never carry a child of my own.'

(Mrs. Gu wipes the sweat off of Soondeok's forehead with her sleeve)

'Well, my dear, whatever he said it doesn't matter now does it? Because just now I did feel a head and it is coming close, so whether you are prepared or not, you will be a mother soon. Please focus and do the best you can sweety. Now, tell me, how long has this pain been going on? Since yesterday afternoon you said if I remember correctly, right?'

'Yes...but-'

'And do you know how babies are delivered?'

'Yes...I do...'

'Good, then you know what to expect. Do you feel like pushing now?'

(Soondeok shakes her head)

'Not yet, but Mrs. Gu, I-'

'Good, make sure you'll send Hyun over to our place and let me know when you finally feel like pushing. I'll go to my house and bring back some necessary equipment, alright?'

Eun: 'This is all the towels and blankets I could find in our house, Mrs. Gu...'

(Eun comes in, showing Mrs. Gu what he's found)

Mrs. Gu: 'Just put them over there on top of the table. While I'm gone, Hyun-ah, you should help your wife change into something more comfortable, okay? Your wife would know when to send you.'

Eun: 'What...what do I do? I know none of this stuff, Mrs. Gu...I'm scared.'

Mrs. Gu: 'Well it in! Because your wife needs you! Sing her a song, make a nice joke, whatever it takes to help her through this pain! You're the only one she can truly rely on now, Hyun ah!'

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(Eun's been holding Soondeok's hand for a while, the pain, as expected, kept coming back and it's making Soondeok more devastated each time. Her back feels like there's fire burning endlessly, as if every single bone on her body got broken again and again, even breathing seems to require much effort now. Eun tries his best to help Soondeok through this hell-like process but there really isn't much he could do to help besides speaking tenderly to her and giving her back a massage. Every time he hears his wife groan in agony, his heart feels a stab – Eun loathes that sense of helplessness.)

'Oppa...are we really having a baby?'

(At last Soondeok speaks.)

'Yes, yes we are darling...or at least...I think we are?'

'I'm scared...I don't want to have a baby.'

'But darling, we've been praying to have one for ages, remember? This is a miracle and we should be thankful for it.'

'No...no! No! I don't want it!'

(Soondeok cries as another wave of pain hits her. She keeps shaking her head and clenching the bedsheets while trying her best to swallow the groan which she knew would break her husband's heart if he hears it yet again.)

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'Darling, deep breaths remember? Breathe in, breathe out. I know it's painful but it'll soon be over. I'm here with you, Deok ah, I'm right here-'

'YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I DON'T WANT THE BABY!'

'Honey, calm down.'

'I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALONE!'

(Soondeok yells then cries harder)

'Oppa...I don't want to die...you'll be all alone...thinking about me...and so helpless...so lonely...having to take care of our child by yourself.'

(Eun swallows his tears and tries to act strong)

'Darling, no one said you'll die. You have me here. Mrs. Gu knows what she's doing. You're in good hands.'

'My mother died while having me-'

'Deok ah, Deok ah...listen to me, shhh, good girl, listen to me, I won't let you die, okay? I'll be right here with you. Focus on what's happening now, okay? Yes, I know it hurts, so hold on to me, good girl. Oh how I wish I could bear the pain for you instead. Deok ah, think about the happy moments we'll share together with our child, think about all the things we can do with our child. It'll all be worth it, trust me.'

(Soondeok whispers as she put Eun's hand on her belly – she wants Eun to feel their baby kicking.)

'Promise me here and now, Oppa, in front of me and our child...that in case I do...pass away after this...you will NEVER tell our child I had died because of this...I don't want our child to live the same way as I did...blaming myself for killing my own mother...never passing one birthday without feeling guilty. Promise? We've talked about this before...promise me, Oppa.'

'I...'

'Promise me, Oppa. Say it.'

(Eun forces a smile on his face and gives a reassuring nod after seeing Soondeok's pleading gaze as if her life depended on it)

'I promise, Deok ah, I promise you I'll never let our child go through the misery you've been through. There, I said it, so worry no more, okay my dear?'

(The exhausted mother-to-be can finally put all her thoughts behind her.)

'I love you, Oppa...thank you- Oh, here comes the pain again...OPPA! HELP!'

(Then without giving it much of a thought, Soondeok instinctively brought her knees high to push – she knew not by what power that she even has the tiniest bit of strength left to do this daunting task.)

'HONEY! PLEASE MAKE THIS PAIN GO AWAY!'

(Eun hurries to the door and yells back)

'Hold on Deok ah! I'll go fetch Mrs. Gu now, I think it's time. Remember, deep breath!'

'Just cut me open! Make this stop!!! OPPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

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Mrs. Gu: 'Now when the next pain comes, be sure to push, okay?'

Soondeok: 'I can't...no more...'

(You can barely hear Soondeok as there's little power left in her, if there were any at all. Eun, eyes red from crying, has been holding onto his wife's hand since the beginning. He's as worried as anyone else in the room.)

Eun: 'Why is it taking so long? Is something wrong?'

Mrs. Gu: 'No, the mother's just tired, but Hyeran dear, you have to push or else the baby could be in danger, okay?'

Soondeok: 'I can't...I really can't...push...I can't push...anymore...'

(Mrs. Gu looks extremely worried. After giving it much thought, she instructs Eun to move.)

Mrs. Gu: 'That's it, time to change your position sweety. Hyun! Help your wife sit up.'

Eun: 'Sit up?'

Mrs. Gu: 'Yes! You heard me! Get her off her back and help her sit up, sit here on the edge of the bed, that's it, help her move, slowly. And you should sit behind her to support her, okay?'

Eun: 'What if the baby falls out?'

Mrs. Gu: 'That's what we want boy! Don't worry, I'll be here to catch the baby.'

Soondeok: 'Mrs. Gu, it's coming again-'

Mrs. Gu: 'Good, now push, like you're pushing out a big poop!'

(Eun can't help but snicker at Mrs. Gu's words, it wasn't intentional but that sure was the last straw for his wife. It's at that moment that Soondeok regretted loving Eun, regretted marrying him, regretted allowing him into her world. Pain really can do things to the brain.)

Soondeok: 'GET HIM OUT OF HERE! I DON'T WANT HIM HERE! MRS. GU! KICK HIM OUT!'

Eun: 'Darling, I'm sorry, it's just, the metaphor was so funny-'

Soondeok: 'OH I WOULD KILL YOU NOW IF I CAN! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! I'M GOING THROUGH THIS BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID ! OH HELL! SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THIS PAIN! GET HIM AWAY FROM MY SIGHT!'

Eun: 'You can hit me all you want later darling, I'll let you, but now instead of talking to me, please push.'

Soondeok: 'YOU JERK! ARE YOU TELLING ME TO SHUT UP NOW? MRS. GU, GET HIM OUT OF HERE! I HATE HIM! I HATE THIS MAN! I WISH I HAD NEVER MET HIM! OW OW OW OW! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!'

(Despite her own words, Soondeok's grabbing onto Eun's hands like her dear life depended on it.)

Mrs. Gu: 'Don't scream dear, push! Good girl! Great job! Push! Use all that energy to push! That's it, and again, keep pushing, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. Good! Relax.'

Soondeok: '12 KIDS MY ! YOU WANT ME DEAD DON'T YOU?'

Eun: 'That's why I changed my answer to 4 kids eventually, remember? 2 boys 2 girls.'

Soondeok: 'OUT OF THE QUESTION! DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! I'LL NEVER, AND I MEAN NEVER EVER, GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN! NEVER!!'

Eun: 'Sure thing, I wouldn't want to see you in pain like this again either honey.'

(Mrs. Gu laughs while preparing some warm towels)

Mrs. Gu: 'Oh you two are so funny! You know, that's exactly what I said to Old Gu when I was having our first child, but you'll give in eventually, the kids are just too adorable, you'll want to have more soon enough.'

Soondeok: 'No, not me, I won't, not after this...oh, here comes another ONE!'

Mrs. Gu: 'Push! That's it! The head is coming! Good job! Now give me another push, Hyun-ah! Count to 10 for your wife! I don't have time to do that myself.'

Soondeok: 'AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! OW OW OW OW! IT BURNS!!!!!'

Mrs. Gu: 'Excellent! DON'T STOP!! The head is coming out perfectly! You're doing great! One more and you'll have the entire head out! Wonderful! Let me check, good, no cord around the neck. And look at you, girl, you didn't tear at all!'

Eun: 'Tear...? What do you mean?'

Mrs. Gu: 'Well it happens sometimes, you know, the opening will rip apart to let the baby pass through.'

Eun: 'Oh...I...I think I'm going to feel sick.'

Soondeok: 'DON'T YOU DARE! I SWEAR I'M GOING TO KILL YOU OPPA!'

(Soondeok makes her message clear as she squeezes Eun's hand even harder to a point Eun was certain she may have dislocated some of his fingers.)'

Mrs. Gu: 'Hyeran darling, stop pushing now, give me short shallow breaths. That's it, good, we need to give the baby some time to wiggle.'

Soondeok: 'It's ending soon, right?'

Mrs. Gu: 'Yes yes yes, your baby will come out in the next push, we just need to get the shoulder out and the rest of the body will slip right through. You want to feel the baby's head? It's still rather bloody at the moment but- Hyun-ah! Focus!'

Eun: 'I'm sorry Mrs. Gu, it's just that...the blood – I feel...I'm feeling sick, I think I'll faint-'

Soondeok & Mrs. Gu: 'DON'T YOU DARE!'

(Eun quickly snaps himself back to reality. Yes, he can't be weak now, not when he has to be strong for his wife. He's going to be a dad soon, he can't freak out, he has 2 people to protect now, as much as he wishes to hide, he can only toughen up.)

Eun: 'I won't faint, honey, I'll be strong, I'll be the strong husband you can trust.'

(It didn't sound persuasive but Soondeok doesn't have time to respond because she can feel the end of her world drawing near as her belly tightens)

Mrs. Gu: 'Whenever you're ready, Hyeran dear.'

(And with another intense and excruciating howl, Soondeok pushes with her every last breath, then suddenly, all her tiredness drained away, her soul reenergized as she feels the baby coming out in a gush. Seconds later, a bundle of warmth is placed on her chest. Her baby. Their baby. The new life's cry filled the entire house to everyone's relief.)

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Mrs. Gu: 'Congratulations! It's a boy! A healthy kicking pink little boy!'

Old Gu: 'WOOHOO!!! CONGRATS!!!!!'

(Old Gu shouted from outside the house – yes he's been standing outside this entire time, after all it's not suitable for him to be inside anyway. Eun breaks down in tears and so did Soondeok, both of them places their hands on their tiny newborn who has gone back to sleep after crying for a moment or so.)

Eun: 'He...he's so tiny...'

(Eun lets the baby wrap his hands around his finger)

Eun: 'His fingers, they're so so SO cute and small!'

Soondeok: 'Is he...alright? Is he healthy?'

Mrs. Gu: 'Yes, he's as healthy as can be, a chubby little fella! Now he'd be hungry so you should give him some food. Hyun ah, help your wife with it, I'll get ready for the next bloody stage...'

Eun: 'Umm...I do feel a bit clammy if I see too much blood-'

Mrs. Gu: 'Then keep your eyes on your baby and your wife for the time being, what'll happen next will probably be too much for you to bear.'

Eun: 'What more is there to come? I thought once the baby's out it'll be the end of it.'

Mrs. Gu: 'Silly...there's still the placenta to come out! But you don't need to know what that is...I'll keep working while you keep talking to your wife, okay?'

Eun: 'Darling...how are you feeling?'

Soondeok: '...'

Eun: 'Honey, open your eyes! Say something, anything! Please don't die! Mrs. Gu! She's not responding!'

(He then could see Soondeok's lips mouthing some words so Eun bends down to hear what his wife has to say)

Eun: 'What is it that you want to say, darling?'

Soondeok: 'You...you're so loud...can't you let me take a nap in peace? I'm...just super tired...I'm not dying...idiot.'

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'I feel so stupid, Oppa. How could I not have known? My morning sickness, my huge belly, my missed periods...how could I not have known?!'

(Soondeok blames herself but Eun pulls her closer to him in bed. Finally, after putting their little boy to sleep that evening, the two lovebirds can have some time with each other.)

'Deok ah, don't blame yourself...But you're right, it was in plain sight. Now that I think about it...when we faked your pregnancy to fool grandpa, may he rest in peace, you were actually already pregnant then. That's just...mind-blowing. Yet to be frank, your belly wasn't THAT big...'

'And the kicking, boy I should've known, I kept thinking it was something I ate! And my missed periods, I kept thinking it's like some sort of side effect of that medication we took to fake our death... Oppa, what if our son...what if something happens to him? I didn't take real care of myself the entire time I had him...I worked day and night...I skipped meals all the time...oh Oppa! What if that'll affect his health? What if that'll affect his growth? See how tiny he is? It's all my fault-'

'Hush darling, don't blame yourself anymore. Everything will be alright. It's a miracle, us having a child and you living through it all. Since it's a miracle, our boy is gonna survive, I'm sure of it. He's a strong fella, he'll make it through.'

(Eun gives her forehead a kiss while hiding his own concern. Eun himself has hardly begun taking on the role of a good husband and now suddenly he's got a new role being a father, neither he nor Soondeok had the experience of being a parent. Sure, they did take care of children before but that's just for a couple of days, having a child of your own, now THAT'S a real challenge. Soondeok too shared the same concern.)

'Yes, a miracle. I do wish mother could've lived to see her grandchild, and aunty too...they would've been overjoyed. May they rest in peace. I wonder how everyone's doing back home...I wonder if father...'

'Deok ah, the past is in the past, we should let go. Besides, I'm sure your father is fine, he's the Grand General after all. Right now, WE have to focus on the present, on our future. From now on, I'll take care of you, I'll take care of our child, I'll protect both of you. I promise.'

'Says the man who spent over half his wage on buying a cart full of useless stuff.'

(Eun's face suddenly turns red)

'I was hoping you would let it slide, honey.'

(Soondeok pinches Eun's nose)

'Don't think I'll let it slide that easily, Mr. Baekhyun. Just wait till I regain my strength, I'll give you a good beating then! Aigoo, I knew I was right not counting on your wage...glad I saved money on my own too. And the Gu's, God bless them, they've been so kind to us. Thanks to them, we wouldn't need to buy a tonne of things for our baby since we can just borrow their grandchildren's.'

'Yes, they're angels indeed...I'm surrounded by angels.'

'So, Oppa...what name should we pick for our lovely boy?'

'Hmmm, that's a good question...I need to think about it.'

(The new father sinks into a deep thought, one can't be too careful when it comes to picking their child's name. After a rather long silence, Soondeok gave Eun a push.)

'I thought you had a list of names already, given that you had once wished for 12 kids, Oppa.'

(Eun gives off an embarrassed laugh)

'In fact I didn't. And yeah, 12 kids, that's NOT gonna happen. I'm satisfied with our little boy here, wouldn't want you to go through THAT process again. Gosh I still have goosebumps every time I remember what happened today, all the blood and your pain. No! Thank! You!'

(Soondeok's eyebrow twitches and her hands caressed Eun's muscular chest in a naughty manner)

'You'll have to hold back then, my dear husband, because now that I know I can become pregnant, I won't let you in so easily. Yet...oh I don't know...I'm not sure if I can resist your hot body now that you've become so...buffy~'

'Whoa there, look where you're putting your hand young lady!'

'Just saying~ We have to be extra careful from now on...we can't afford to have "accidents".'

'Yeah, you don't have to remind me...Anyway, it's getting late, you should sleep, I doubt you slept at all last night.'

'But I want to hear all your stories, Oppa! All the fascinating things you've seen while you were travelling around the world!'

'I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, but right now you need to sleep before our little prince wakes-'

(As if the baby can hear Eun's thoughts, the starving child begins to cry. Eun grunts.)

'My turn, let me see what woke our little prince up this time.'

'No, Oppa, I'll go, he's probably hungry.'

'It's gonna be a long night for us, isn't it?'

'Shh, Oppa, quit talking. Be a good fellow and bring me a pillow, would you?'

(Soondeok says while untying her top to let her hungry child latch onto her )

'Did he get it this time? He made such a fuss trying to eat earlier today...'

'I think he's got it. At least he's stopped crying...'

'Now that made sense, why your...you know...has gotten bigger. I knew it! I wasn't hallucinating back then! I told you!'

'Hush Oppa! Don't startle him!'

(Eun covers his mouth with both hands and apologizes in a soft whisper)

'I'm sorry~'

(Then the man moves a bit closer and leans in to have a good look at his son while running his thumb across the baby's forehead)

'Look at our boy Deok ah, yes eat all you can my child, you're gonna grow up strong and healthy like your mama, and you'll be a handsome guy like your papa, hm?'

'He's got your ears, Oppa, look.'

'My gosh, you're right~ And look at that tiny nose, he's got your cute little nose.'

(The baby looks up at his parents with his eyes wide open as he continues ling in hunger. Soondeok shifts her gaze from her son to her husband.)

'Oppa, stop crying...'

'You think I want to? I just can't help it! This picture is too perfect.'

'There there, stop crying now Oppa, dry your tears. Now, let us stop chatting or it's gonna take an eternity to put him back to sleep.'

(Eun kisses Soondeok on the cheek)

'I love you, Deok ah.'

(Soondeok gives Eun a soft kiss on the lips in return.)

'I love you too, my dear husband, more than you know. And could you PLEASE shave tomorrow. I've had enough with your bushy kisses.'

(Eun rubs his own beard innocently)

'I thought you'd like it. It took me a long time to grow this one, I've grown quite fond of it.'

'Well it's either this beard or no more kisses. Take your pick.'

'Honey, isn't that too much?'

'If you've made up your mind-'

'Alright alright alright! I'll shave tomorrow, anything for you my sweety pie~'

 

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DowithloveEXO
FINALLY! SORRY FOR KEEPING YOU GUYS WAITING! I'LL TRY TO POST MORE OFTEN!

Comments

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ezakimsoo #1
Pls update i miss baekhyun 😭😭
ezakimsoo #2
Chapter 8: 😍😍😍
ezakimsoo #3
Chapter 6: Where did u get the image of the hands carving from?
preciousloey61
13 streak #4
Chapter 5: Really enjoyed reading this chapter 😊 thank u authornim 🤗
ezakimsoo #5
Yeayyyy!!!