Soondeok's diary

I know, I promised myself that I'll never let a living soul know I can read and write here in Tamra, but with so many things going on, with our household's budget tight as can be, I need to keep an organized record if we are to survive this winter. I mean, my husband makes enough for us to live by though not exactly in a luxurious sense, yet as the kids grow older, so do the expenses and so I thought it'd be better for me to start making plans before the ship starts sinking. We did bring with us some gold from Goryeo and it has helped us tremendously in the past year or so, allowing us to settle in Tamra quite comfortably. Now, we solely rely on my husband's wage and to be frank, after deducting the taxes and such, there really isn't much left. I would work part-time if I could but I can't leave my kids behind while I go to work, no, I want to spend every waking moment with them.

Of course, Mrs. Gu and Old Gu have been extremely kind to us, they give us food from their garden and often come over to help us out, yet we can't simply rely on them forever, not when both my husband and I are capable of working ourselves. I have thought about sewing with Mrs. Gu during my spare time, maybe we could work on a dress together and then she can sell it downtown. Or I could return to weaving baskets again at night while everyone's asleep in that spare room we barely use now, at least I could earn us a couple of bucks. Oh, Ho just woke up from his nap. I better get to him before he wakes Seon as well.

LOGBOOK

Coin – 10 pieces (My husband's monthly wage: 20 pieces; Tax: 60 pieces per year this year)

Firewood – 1/2 shed (Hopefully could last us till early Spring)

Rice – 5 bags

Various grains and seeds– 10 bags

Red beans – 2 bags

Mung beans – 10 bags

Soy beans – 8 bags

Rice flour – 3 bags

Wheat flour – 1 bag

Eggs – Fresh from Old Gu's farm every day

Vegetables - Fresh from Mrs. Gu's garden every day

Radish – 20 (Stocked for fermentation day)

Cabbage – 30 (Stocked for kimchi making day)

Dried/cured/preserved food:

Fish – 40

Shellfish – 5 baskets

Seaweed – Still drying, maybe around 20 basketfuls

Cured rabbit leg – 6

Deer jerky – 4

Cured whole duck/goose/pheasants – 12

Imported dried ham – 2

Blood sausages – 5 bundles

Roots and herbs – 16 baskets

Wild berry jam – 4 jars

Salt – 6 bags

Oil – 1 1/2 jar

Soybean paste – 1/2 jar (From Mrs. Gu's collection)

Chilli paste – 1 jar

Fermented shrimp paste – 3 jars

Dried chili - ~50 pieces

Sesame oil – 1 small jar

Honey – 3 jars

Soy sauce – 3 jars

Plum sauce – 2 jars (Mrs. Gu taught me how to make mine)

Rice wine – 1 jar

All for today, I'll continue with the list tomorrow.

------------------------------

'Ho yah~ Did my little boy just wake up? Shhhh, come here buddy, let me take you upstairs to your room.'

(Soondeok takes her son upstairs while leaving little Seon in their bedroom, though Ho now has his own bedroom, for his daytime naps, Soondeok still preferred putting both of her kids to sleep in the master bedroom. The downside though, is that you'll have to get Ho out of the room before he wakes the other up, and Soondeok's considered lucky today.)

'Mummy?'

'Yes darling?'

'Mrs. Gu, where?'

'Ah, Mrs. Gu went back home to prepare dinner for us.'

'Yummy dinner?'

'Yes, yummy dinner. Ho yah, would you like Mrs. Gu and Old Gu to move in with us during winter?'

'Move in?'

(Little Ho tries to understand the meaning of yet another new word in his world of vocabulary)

'Yes, meaning they'll sleep here at night as well.'

'But chicken? Chicken too?'

(Ho puts his finger up and starts counting the number of chickens on the Gu's farm with his tiny hands)

'No darling, their animals will stay over there, it's just them moving in.'

'Why?'

'Because that way we can all stay warm in winter.'

'What's winter?'

'Winter is when the weather gets really really cold. It'll snow too, making everything outside white!'

'Snow? White? Cold?'

(Ho opens his eyes super wide while tilting his little head, trying to grasp the meaning of these new words. Soondeok kisses him on the cheek)

'It's alright darling, you'll know it when you see it~ I almost forgot that it'll be your first winter...our baby will turn 1 year old soon~ Who would've thought? It's been 1 year...only...'

(Indeed, Ho acts and speaks like a 1-year-old already that at times Soondeok thinks her son is actually 2-3 years old. Even more so after Seon arrived, as if the presence of a younger 'sibling' somehow pushed the baby into growing up faster than his peers. Ho's development pace, you can say, is at supernatural speed – he was able to walk on his own by the time he's 7 and a half months old and was able to say his first words by his 8th. Advantages of having talkative parents and 'grandparents' I guess?)

'Mummy?'

(Soondeok opens her eyes, she has dozed off while talking to Ho...again.)

'Mummy, sleep?'

'Yes darling, mummy would like to take a nap here on your bed, is that alright?'

(Little Ho nods his head and starts patting Soondeok on her tummy, the way she does it when she puts Ho to sleep.)

'Is my boy trying to put his mummy to sleep?'

'Shhhh, mummy sleep. No talk.'

(Soondeok grins and shuts her eyes obediently. After who knows how long, Soondeok jerks up as she realizes that she had really fallen asleep. She rushes downstairs as she noticed Ho was not by her side. She can hear noises coming from her bedroom so she slowly opens the door and finds Ho playing with Seon on their bed.)

Seon: 'Ga! GAA!!!'

Ho: 'Shhh. Baby shh. Mummy sleeping.'

(Seon, now old enough to sit up on her own, starts waving her arms in the air. Ho giggles and begins jumping up and down in bed, causing Seon's little body to bounce, her little head to wobble.)

Soondeok: 'Knock knock~ Mummy's awake~ What are you guys doing here?'

Ho: 'Mummy! We like daddy!'

Soondeok: 'What do you mean?'

Ho: 'We like daddy. Sea! Ship! Up and down!'

Soondeok: 'Ahh~ You're pretending you're sailing like your daddy, right?'

Ho: 'Yes!'

Soondeok: 'Do you want to go to work with your daddy, Ho yah?'

Ho: 'Yes!'

Soondeok: 'So do you want to be a sailor when you grow up?'

Ho: 'No. I want to be like daddy!'

Soondeok: 'Yes, darling, that's what I meant.'

Ho: 'No. Ho wants to be like daddy. Live with mummy! Forever!'

Soondeok: 'Darling, do you even know what "forever" means?'

(Soondeok pinches his cheeks)

Ho: 'Daddy said forever is...every day! Many days! Daddy said he will love mummy forever! Ho also love mummy forever!'

(Soondeok almost shed a tear)

Eun: 'DEOK AH!!!! HONEY! YOU'VE GOT TO COME OUT AND SEE! IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!'

(Eun, as always, makes a dramatic-and-loud entrance after getting back from work. Luckily Mrs. Gu's not in the house or she would've frown upon hearing a name unheard of.)

Soondeok: 'Honey! What did you just call me?'

Eun: 'Sorry, slipped my tongue. Oh, but that's not important now! It's snowing! First snow is here!!!!!! Come out! It's so beautiful! Ho yah! Come to daddy!!!!!!'

(Eun picks Ho up)

Eun: 'Son! Let's see your first ever first snow! You know what snow is? It's cold and white~ Papa will show you~'

Soondeok: 'Well, Seon ah, let us follow the boys out, shall we? Wait, let me wrap you nice and warm first. There, all set! Who's my beautiful girl? Muah~'

(The family gazes at the dancing flakes in awe. The snowflakes are falling, so gently from the sky, like feathers, bright and white. Ho escapes from Eun's arms and starts running around the garden, waving his arms above his head trying to grab the flakes with his bare hands, laughing like it's the happiest day in his life. Seon also showed her excitement by wiggling her legs in the most vigorous manner while putting her fist into . Eun gives Soondeok a nice big kiss.)

Eun: 'What a blessing, to be able to enjoy this first snow with you again this year. Look how far we've come, Deok ah, we have now doubled in number in such a short time.'

(Eun exclaims)

Soondeok: 'Doubled in number, but tripled in noise and trouble, Oppa~'

(Soondeok jokes. Just then, Mrs. Gu arrives with the first pots for their dinner.)

Mrs. Gu: 'I see you guys are enjoying the first snow! Beautiful, isn't it?'

Eun: 'Mrs. Gu! Let me help you with that. Please come inside, it's cold out.'

Mrs. Gu: 'Thank you sweetie, I've still got 2 more pots at my place. We're having deer stew today! I know, Hyeran, you're gonna say that the meat's meant to be saved for winter, but we should also enjoy it now! And not to mention, my old man's the one who's been nagging me to cook this dish.'

Soondeok: 'How nice of you, Mrs. Gu! Please come in! I managed to make some salad earlier in the day, they're in the kitchen.'

Old Gu: 'Is this deer stew I'm smelling? Lovely stuff! Thank you wifey!'

(Old Gu pulls his donkey cart into the young family's front yard as he returns from downtown. Old Gu gives his wife a big warm bushy kiss on the cheek.)

Ho: 'Old Papa!'

(That's how Ho calls Old Gu.)

Old Gu: 'Hello! How are you lad?'

Ho: 'Look! LOOK! It's sssssnnnoooowwww!'

Old Gu: 'Yes, it's snowing now.'

Soondeok: 'Welcome back. How's your day in the market, sir?'

Old Gu: 'Busy day today. Sold all the eggs and vegetables. Also managed to sell some hens today. Bought another cart-load of firewood for winter as well.'

Soondeok: 'Thank you Old Gu. I promise next year we'll help out with the firewood chopping when the seasons' right.'

Old Gu: 'Naa, don't you worry about it. We've still got loads of firewood at my place to last another year. Don't you worry about this winter, you're already worrying too much having to take care of the kids, sweetie.'

Eun: 'What are you guys still standing here for? Let's eat! I've got Mrs. Gu's last pot of soup here! Honey, crank the heater up. Ho! Get your inside! Enough with chasing the snowflakes! I'm gonna count to 3!'

------------------------------

(That evening, the young couple told the Gu's of their plan for winter and after much persuasion, the old couple finally agree to it. After working out the plans for moving in and such, the old couple retires back to their little cottage for the night.)

'My word, Deok ah, Ho is really growing too fast. He's getting so talkative he's not letting ME speak! I almost fell asleep because he said he wants to be the one telling ME a bedtime story today, though to be honest, I have no idea what he's talking about. He still likes to make up new gibberish for his stories.'

'He's your son after all, darling. Ooh, darling, are you free tomorrow?'

'In the afternoon I suppose. Why?'

'Old Gu said it's time he cleans out THE pile.'

'The pile? What pile?'

'What do you mean what pile? Old Gu's baby! The dung pile!'

'Oh honey, you don't mean- Oh I'm feeling that deer stew now.'

'Oppa, you've seen that pile, it doesn't smell at bad. Anyway, so here's what I've been thinking. You know how we wash ourselves in the kitchen during summer? Well now that winter's here and the Gu's will be living with us, I think it's only appropriate that we fix our bath house so we can use it in winter. I want everyone to be able to take a nice warm bath in winter, Oppa~ And it's not even a big fix. I just want to thicken the wall.'

'And how do you propose we do that?'

'My father said that dung walls are great insulators. First we mix dung with hay, then we just slap it on the outer wall of the bath house and let it dry-'

'Honey! You serious? MIX DUNG WITH HAY?! How's the mixing gonna happen?'

'With hands of course!'

'EEEWWWW! Honey, you can't possibly expect me to take part in this! Imagine! My hands covered with dung! And the smell! Imagine the smell! Deok ah~~~'

(Eun whines, trying to change Soondeok's mind. His wife rolls her eyes, with a slight hint of disappointment.)

'Honey, I never said YOU have to be the one doing it...I'll do it, you're too fragile for a task like that anyway. I simply hope you can take care of the two energy bombs while Old Gu and I work on it tomorrow.'

'Oo...oh. I see. Well...'

(Eun clears his throat out of embarrassment. Soondeok gives him the 'You still think you're Prince of Goryeo?' and the 'I'm rather disappointed with you' look.)

'My my, look at the time, it's getting quite late. We better go to sleep as well.'

'You're right. You better enjoy tonight Oppa, because tomorrow I'll be smelling so awful that maybe you'll make me sleep my myself. Like the time when we first got married.'

'Now honey, why on earth are you bringing that subject back?'

'And the smell may last for a few days so don't even think about touching me until the smell's gone because someone just can't bear the idea of touching dung! You know what? I'm sure Ho won't mind. I can sleep upstairs while you three can sleep in here. After all, it's not like it's the first time you make me sleep by myself.'

(Soondeok blows out the candle and pulls the blanket up, not allowing Eun to have the final word. Silence in the dark. Eun embraces Soondeok from behind.)

'How tiring it must be for you, Deok ah, having to run this household, taking care of our kids, worrying about what's to come next...I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you out as much as you want me to. Thank you for always being so strong and brave for all of us, Deok ah.'

(Eun whispers. Soondeok sighs. She never did like to admit it but there are times she really felt helpless, yet she's not the type of person to voice out her concerns easily and Eun's words to her was very reassuring and warm. She turns to face Eun and attacks her husband with a kiss in the dark. But as soon as the dancing of the tongues starts, Soondeok can no longer control the fire burning inside. Soondeok climbs onto Eun, placing his arms above his head as if he's her prisoner for the night.)

'D...Deok ah, what are you doing?'

'Shhhh, don't wake the kids up. I'll be gentle, Oppa, I promise.'

'What? Ya, Deok ah, don't-'

(Eun bites his bottom lips hard to stop himself from carelessly letting out a moan. Both of their breaths start to deepen and hasten. Soondeok knows that they, as parents, do not have the luxury of time to themselves and any minute now Ho could pop right into their room so instead of taking things nice and slow as they would've done in the past, efficiency and pace now is of the essence.)