050.
⌕ MISSING YOU ˖𓂃 ִֶָ ๋ ꗃ a rp confessions/reconnection thread. submissions welcome. (✧◡✧)
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050。
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"i have a few friend groups here and there, yet i still feel this void inside of me for some reason. along with this haunting thought that maybe my friends do not actually want me at all. despite them reassuring me and saying that there's nothing wrong with me and i'm a good friend to them... but if i am really one, why can't i see myself the way they see me? why do i still feel so out of place with them? i try my best to convince myself too that if they wouldn't want to be friends with me, we wouldn't have been this close then. but it's been a while since we actually did something together after all... yet i actually asked to cpdp with them one time, and... it hasn't happened yet. but they already cpdped with someone else on their own accord... not saying they can't do that and i don't own my friends in any way, but this just makes me doubt myself all over again. i know it's only one small thing and it should never be something that defines our friendship! regardless, i still love my friends a lot and i wish we can have long lasting friendships too. i just couldn't help but to continue thinking whether i'm too much for them, or if there's something actually wrong with me... of course, people have different priorities too and i should understand that i can't always be their top priority. it'd still be nice if i was one, though. perhaps i'm just missing the feeling of being someone's centre of the universe. or the fear of losing my friends
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