Song: 'White Noise' by EXO

*Note: Chapters 4-7 describe a highly idealised version of an NDE, which may not reflect what an NDE is actually like in real life.

I hear you, I feel you
I can’t see you but I can hear you
After closing my eyes
All I have to do is find you
Among all the noise in the world

“Jongdae!”

The voice was what awakened him.  He didn’t know where he was, or how he got there, but all he knew was that he’d heard a voice calling out his name.  Other than that, perpetual silence followed.

As far as he was aware, he had entered a plane of existence completely different from what he was familiar with; his body – if he had one – didn’t seem to take on any physical form – and so he felt no need to breathe.  Yet he could feel this thick, dense body of matter weighing down so heavily on him, engulfing him, surrounding him.  He felt as though he was underwater, only except he was trying to swim through something infinitely more viscous than water – it was almost impossible to move at all, and for the most part, Jongdae felt suspended in the middle of nothingness.

Is this what death feels like? Jongdae thought.  Was he even dead?

It was so dark.  It was hard to make out his surroundings, everything was blurry, but Jongdae was aware that something was there.  From what he could make out, with his vision that was gradually becoming clearer, he was wading through what appeared to be the deepest depths of a murky swamp, and he could now see long, root-like objects hanging down from above him. 

That was when things took a frightening turn.  A loud thumping noise began to reverberate around him, getting louder and louder until Jongdae could feel it rattling his core.  Then he could hear some eerie voices that sounded like moans of pain and wails of anguish, which also got louder, joining the din along with the thumping noise.  Not long after, ghoulish, ghost-like figures passed by him.  They were creatures with half-formed faces that were partly rotten, creatures that only appeared in nightmares.  The whole atmosphere was febrile with death and decay.

Is this Hell? Jongdae asked himself.  Am I in Purgatory?  The more time that passed, the more fear that crept into Jongdae’s being, and he felt more disoriented than ever.  What was going on?

Then, above the din, a voice rang out clear.

“Jongdae!”

It was the same voice he had heard when he woke up in this new dimension, and the moment he heard it, the cacophony around him seemed to fade and become quieter than before.  There were also less apparitions passing by him.  Jongdae just knew he needed to hear that voice again.  So with everything he had, he willed himself to focus on where the voice had come from, and figure out what he could do to follow it.

As if answering his prayers, the voice began to sing, and it was the most beautiful melody Jongdae had ever heard.  It sounded like the voice of an angel, and it stirred something in Jongdae that he felt had been dormant for such a long time, he couldn’t remember.  The ghouls around him began dispersing, and the dense substance submerging him felt lighter and less thick, making it easier to pass through. 

Then, for the first time in however long it had been since Jongdae found himself in this state – a light shone through the darkness from above him, beyond the roots.  Jongdae had thought that the darkness around him was neverending, but he was mistaken.  The light grew brighter and brighter, its rays permeating the murkiness; and as it did, the song became louder and louder, until it was all he could hear.  Soon, Jongdae found himself being pulled up towards the light by an invisible force, like he was weightless – up, up and away from the pit of darkness below, until he could no longer see it.  Instead, his vision was filled with blinding white light; it was all he could see.

🕊✨🕊