First of all, I just want to thank you for getting through this fic.  It was really heavy, I know, but in the end I hope you healed just as much as Jongdae did.

I drew upon many sources of inspiration for this fic, some before I started writing and others that I picked up along the way.  Here are some of them:

• The main inspiration of this fic was from a book I once read called ‘Proof of Heaven’ by neurosurgeon Eben Alexander, which you may or may not have heard of. It’s a memoir of his NDE when he contracted a rare disease that left him in a coma; and I found it to be a fascinating read. The NDE depicted in my fic is much more idealised than what NDEs are actually like in real life, in order to keep to the plot.
• This moodboard.
• Xiumin’s performance of his unreleased song ‘Serenity’ during his online Beyond Live fanmeeting ‘ON: XIUWEET TIME’. As you can see, the song is part of this fic’s title. When I watched the performance, I thought it literally looked like something out of heaven, which is why I decided to make it a part of Jongdae's NDE in Chapters 5 & 6.
• Chen’s song ‘I’ll be there’ from his ‘April, and a flower’ album, which is also part of the title. If you read the lyrics and imagine them being told from Minseok’s POV (except for the final verse), it pretty much sums up the overall theme of my fic. Meanwhile, the last verse perfectly sums up Jongdae’s feelings for his loss, prior to his NDE.
• While this fic was still in WIP status, I watched the K-Drama ‘Andante’ starring EXO’s Kai. Its theme entirely revolves around losing loved ones and dealing with loss. There’s a quote from the drama: “Death is the end of life.  It’s not the end of a relationship.” which is basically the whole point of my fic.

I hope you also enjoyed the playlist I made for the story; I made it after I finished writing the story.  I tried to make sure each song matched the theme of each chapter.

This fic has become quite special to me; I don’t think I’ve ever written something like this before, nor have I ever been this immersed in writing like I did while writing this.  This is also the longest story I've ever written, I never expected it to get this long.  I said earlier that I cried while writing Chapter 6, and I don’t think I’ve ever cried this much while writing a story before; I think Chapter 6 was very cathartic. I still shed tears whenever rereading that chapter. Writing this fic was an amazing, yet difficult and at times overwhelming journey, much like the one Jongdae has in this story.

A lot more went into this story than I’d originally planned:

• I never intended to write the characters Ningning, Mark, Winwin or Winter into my story to begin with. They just happened to come about, I thought they’d be a nice cute addition to my fic and lighten the overall mood of the story, since it’s so heavy.
• I didn’t intend for Suho to be in my fic either; initially it was only supposed to be Irene as the nurturing/motherly figure who oversees the afterlife realm. Then I remembered that Suho’s stage name literally means ‘guardian’ so I thought, how could I not include him in the realm?  I thought it would also be cool to have some implied SuRene going on, lol.
• Initially Jongdae was just going to wake up from his coma and everything would be fine, but I didn’t think that was realistic. In real life, it takes time for someone to gather their bearings after being knocked out for a while, unlike what we see on TV/film where people wake up from a coma and they seem almost lucid.  There was also a lot that needed to be resolved between Jongdae and his friends and family.
• I don’t know how it came about that Ningning ended up being Yixing’s daughter. However, as I was writing the last chapter, I realised that I didn’t only want Jongdae to heal, but I wanted this to be a healing experience for everyone around him, too.  That’s also how he ended up mending a lot of bridges with his friends and family, and it’s also how the birthday dinner party came up at the end.

While I’m sure this story must have been an emotional rollercoaster for you to read, I hope my fic brought you healing and comfort.  I also hope that I managed to convince you that an MCD fic doesn’t necessarily have to have a sad ending, and that it in fact can have a happy ending.  Particularly during a time when so many lives have been lost to COVID-19, there must be many people struggling to cope with the loss of loved ones, and so I thought this fic would be more relevant now than ever.  If you have lost somebody close to you, this fic is for you, and I hope that you find peace and healing.  I hope I got across my message that the people we treasure most will always be with us, even after they pass on. 

There’s also another point I want to make with my fic, which is that before you fall in love with someone, you are already a whole person.  When we lose someone who means everything to us, it can sometimes feel like we are also losing ourselves, or a part of ourselves in the process.  I hope my fic could show that it is possible to be whole again after loss.

I want to thank the wonderful Mods of SWCF for all of their help and for making this amazing fest possible, plus a special thank you to Mod Venus for the feedback they gave me through each stage of my fic since the second check-in – you have made writing this fic that much more worthwhile and enjoyable, you are awesome.  And once again, thank you to all you lovely readers for bothering to read my fic, I truly appreciate it.  If you enjoyed it, I would also love you to leave kudos or comments showing your feedback below; I want to know how you feel about my fic.

That’s all I have to say for now; stay safe and healthy guys; hope you all take care!

Cheers <33