TW: Homophobia and Depression

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Dongwan looking at his reflection in the big mirror in front of them, fix his hair and the suit he wears. After spending a lot schedules with s nowdays, back to has solo schedule and being alone is kinda awkward for him—and the formal ambience of this private party, not really helps.

“Yak! Stop with the mirror,” his managers elbowing his chest lightly, “don’t embarass me inside.”

“Nah, I’m the guest star hyung,” Dongwan answers cheekily, “they pay us a lot to watch me, don’t worry much.”

“Brat!” 

His manager slaps him this time—playfully. Meanwhile Dongwan just laughing—he’s not bluffing tho, the one who hold this private party really invite him as the guest star, only him, not the Shinhwa as a whole package, and looking at the Hotel and the room facilities that he get right now, Dongwan one hundred percent sure, whoever hold this, come from a rich family indeed. 

He don’t really listening what his manager said on their way here—to be honest he’s kinda sleep deprived with a back to back schedules he had as a solo artist and member of Shinhwa. He just know it’s a private party to celebrates a 21st birthday. Well, at least—it’s a party for young people, he thinks to himself.

Some staff them to the private hall on the rooftop. They arrive at the back of the hall, enter the small room when another staff give him the microphone and help to prepare himself.

“Dongwannie,” his manager hyung come to stand beside him, “here, the birthday girl, she comes to greet you.”

Dongwan lifts up his head, already smilling to the one who invite him, “Ahh yes, anyeong haseyo, I’m Kim Dongwan. Thank you for the invitation.”

A small laughs echoes from the petite girl in front of him, she covers with his hand and bows her head slightly. “Anyeong haseyo, of course I know who you’re, oppa. Ahh sorry, can I call you oppa?”

When the girl also lifts up her face and both of them exchange glance to each other, Dongwan feels the familiarity towards her face—like this is not the first time they meet.

“Yes, yes. You can call me oppa,” Dongwan tilts his head a little, “what’s your name? Do we ever meet before this?”

The way his manager eyes look bigger suddenly and glaring at him right now—give Dongwan an awkward feeling, his manager probably already mentioning her name before, and it slips out from his mind just like that.

“Yes oppa, I’m your fan,” but the girl seems okay and not really minding the situation, “so I came to your concert and fan meeting last year, I also waiting for you with the others in front of the broadcast building. Maybe, you already familiar with my face, I’m happy to hear that.”

“Ahh, that’s right. I’m good at remembering face of our fans, I’ll remember your face after this, so don’t go around waiting for me, just come when we’re having concert or fan meeting, don’t waste your time like that.”

The girl laughs again, she nods her head happily. “I get your nagging on my birthday, I’m happy, really.”

“Eh? Why our fan such a strange person, huh?” Dongwan also gives his hearty laugh. “Ah right, I forget to congratulate you! Minwoo will hit me and says I’m a bad person at this situation, so yeah err, I’m sorry your name—“

“Min Ah Rin.”

“—ah yeah, Min Ah Rin-ssi happy birthday! May all your wishes come true, and you’ll always be happy and healthy in this lifetime.”

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Since the birthday party, Dongwan never see Ahrin again in every his schedules—but then, he begin to receive a gift from her. From lot of foods, to a pack of drinks, bottles of expensieve wine and champagne, a limited edition of parfums, a different colors of hats, a bunch of branded clothes and the latest—the one that kinda make him a bit of wary. A watch, the newest edition—the limited one.

As an idol, of course he receives a lot of gifts. But not the kind that being sent from one person and almost daily like this. Not even on his birthday or his any special days—and it feels too much for him. This one, he can’t accept this.

“Hyung..”

“Eo?” 

His manager still focusing on his phone, just give him a small nods. And because Dongwan is that kind of child who needs an attention—he nudges his manager with his toe.

“Hyung…”

“Just spill it, Wan. I’m listening here.”

“Hyunggggg…”

“You, really..” his manager finally give in, turn away his head from his phone, facing Dongwan perfectly, “Why?”

Showing his big grins feeling satisfied, Dongwan point out the box of his gift with his chin. “I can’t accept that, I check the price on the internet, and it’s really expensieve, hyung. If I take the watch, I’ll feel indebted towards her, I think.”

His manager hyung also looking at the box, thinking a bit—and kinda agree with Dongwan, so he nods his head. “I’ll chat her then, and tell her to take the watch back. I doubt she’ll agree with it, but I’ll try.”

“You know her number?”

“Of course, she’s the one who calls me when she invited you, I told you already.”

“I want her number then,” Dongwan grabs his phone that laying around beside him, “I’ll tell her myself, I need to ask her to stop giving me too. Once in a while it’s okay, not like this. I’m thankful of course, but still no matter how rich her parents, she can’t do this.”

“Yak! You can’t do that,” his manager shakes his head, “I’ll be the one who tell her, I’ll handle this.”

“Handle what?” Suddenly, Minwoo’s head peeking out from the door. “Something happen here?”

“Ahh, my Minwoo finally come, he said he’ll pick up me since two hours ago—wow, I’m so loved.”

Laughing out loud, already used with Dongwan’s antic, Minwoo walks towards him, then hug his big baby that gives him a pouty lips and scowl on his face. And without words, Minwoo just gives a small peck on Dongwan’s cheek, then whispering an apology and countless sweet things to him.

“Kids, you still in public space for God’s sake,” Dongwan’s manager slaps both of them, “don’t give me more headache, behave please.”

Minwoo laughing again, and release the hug—but then Dongwan just grabs his hand fast, pull him to sit beside him. It’s been three days for them to separate from each other, with Dongwan other schedules and Minwoo busy with their anniversary concert preparation, it’s kinda hard for them to match each other time.

“I’ll take over this baby hyung,” Minwoo gives Dongwan’s manager his thumb, “don’t worry too much, it’s your time to rest.”

“I’ll always worry everytime you two being together, brats!” Dongwan’s manager let out a deep sigh, but then look at them fondly, “just be safe.”

“It’s our third year being together hyung,” Dongwan chimes in, “we still want this, of course we’ll always be careful.”

“I know, I know.” Dongwan’s manager gathers his belonging and the watch’s box, ready to back home first. “Call me if you need anything, I’ll tell about the gift to her. Bye.”

Minwoo leaning his head on Dongwan’s chest naturally and playing with his finger, lift up his face, glacing to his boyfriend. “From that rich fan? What she gives you this time?”

“A newest edition of rolex, the limited one. The internet said so.” 

“Wow,” Minwoo chuckles, “she upgrades her gifts everyday, huh. You should feel happy, no?”

“Of course I’m happy, but you know me, right? I don’t like someone spend that much money on me, like for what? I know she’s rich, or her parents is rich. But still, she should just save the money or use that to something more useful than me, right?”

“Don’t think too much about it,” Minwoo pats Dongwan cheeks softly, “you can always nag her when she comes at our schedule later. Now, enough about her. Let’s eat, I’m starving.”

“Do you think I don’t? Why you need two hours to drive from Gangnam to here?”

Smile sheepishly, Minwoo sits upright and facing Dongwan, “well, I don’t spend two hours on the street of course. Let’s just say, I want to correct some of the choreo but kinda lost the time and forget a bit about this?”

Looking at Minwoo whose eyes are kinda red and face that showing tiredness, make Dongwan gives him a long deep sigh.

“It’s your only free night this week, you should sleep, we can meet on another day, I told you right? I’ll snuck out from my schedule to meet you if I need it. I can do that.”

“You’re so silly, you know it right?” Minwoo cups Dongwan’s cheeks, making his boyfriend pout a bit, looks cute. “I need to see you to recharge my energy, I need you, so I can rest and have a good sleep tonight.”

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It’s one week before their 10th anniversary concert, of course they’re getting busier. With the concert preparation and also their comeback album. Everyone running around with their own schedules and group schedule like a crazy—no time to rest.

But for Dongwan, of course he’ll always has time for his Minwoo, at least to remind him to eat—like right now.

“Here,” Dongwan opens the lids of the warms rice, then put it in front of Minwoo, “eat first, then take the medicine, I’ll have my recording after midnight, you have time to sleep for half an hour. You need to take care of yourself, Bong. If the headache still there till tomorrow, tell me. I’ll drag you to hospital, let’s cancel the concert.”

“I’m okay.” Minwoo touches Dongwan’s arm then rubs it softly, to ease his tension, “it just me being stress and overwork myself, nothing new. And no, we can’t cancel the concert. I won’t let you.”

“Eat.”

Minwoo knows Dongwan just being worry, just being his naggy self because well—Minwoo deserves it, this time.

“Let’s eat together.”

Heaves a sigh, Dongwan grabs his chopstick, but rather than put the meat inside his mouth, he just give it to Minwoo.

“I don’t like to see you sick,” Dongwan says truthfully, “where’s Eric? I thought he’s here, so I bought his portion too.”

“Going out with Hyesung, I think. Syungie kinda strained his voice when recording this afternoon.”

Chuckles, Dongwan just shakes his head, amuses. “They love each other a lot, worry about each other, and always ready for each other, yet still refuse their feeling towards each other.”

“Don’t be mean,” Minwoo warns him, but also smiles and agree with Dongwan, “not everyone as brave as you.”

“As us.” 

Dongwan correcting Minwoo.

“Us.”

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“Yak lovebirds, don’t be so obvious, you’re not drunk yet!” 

While Minwoo just laughing—still latching himself to his boyfriend, Dongwan gives their leader a hard kick. “Do it with Syungie if you’re jealous!”

“YAK!”

A hard slaps landed on Dongwan’s back. Of course it’s from Hyesung. Making Eric and their maknae laughing at him.

“Bad Syungie!” Minwoo glaring at Hyesung, while his hand Dongwan’s back. “And you, stop with your ricsyung agenda, tonight is our time.”

“Uh huh, tonight is our time, hyung.” Junjin points out to all of them. “Please keep your PDA at minimum level, okay?”

“What is minimum?” Dongwan asks cheekily, then pecks Minwoo’s cheek quickly, “like this, huh Jinnie?”

The shout of protesting and cursing echoing loud instantly—Eric almost throws his shoes at Dongwan, but stops himself because their manager just opening the door beside him and looking at them tiredly, because how can after three hours concert they still have lot of energy like this.

“The car is ready outside, we can go out,” the manager inform them, “Minwoo and Dongwan, just do the usual, okay?”

Both of them just laughing, but give their manager a thumb simultaneously. They take their own belonging, then walking together to the front gate. It’s full of their fans of course—so before they walks outside, as naturally as ever, Dongwan and Minwoo just let go each other hands then greets their fans and walks toward their car casually.

Dongwan already enter his car with hand full of paper bags from the fans, when his eyes sees the familiar face standing in front of his window—the one that he also spots at the concert.

“Oppa, this is for you, you say I can give you present on your special day, right?”

Nods his head, Dongwan accept the gift, “thank you Ahrin-ssi. Now, all of you, eat your dinner and back home safely, yeah? Oppa will drinks a lot tonight, byee!”

Close the window—glancing to the navy paper bag from Ahrin and also the others, Dongwan just smiling—feeling happy because they successfully finish their concert that marks their 10 years in this industry. Everything’s good. 

Or that’s what he thinks, because later that night—when his manager drops him off on his apartment with a bunch of the gifts he receives being put on the floor, making him stumbles after he exits from his bathroom, kicks a few of the paper bags—make one fall, spills out all the contents inside.

A stack of photos. Dongwan and Minwoo. Their date. Their private time.

Kneeling, Dongwan take one photo on the ground with a tremble hand—remember clearly the situation, it’s when he and Minwoo snuck out from their dance pratice three weeks ago, to had an ice cream date. 

He glances at the paper bag—the one that fall, the navy one. 

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After having relationship with Minwoo—Dongwan always try to tell Minwoo about everything, the good and also the bad things. When he’s being insecure, worry or just simply need someone to listen. He always comes to Minwoo.

But this—no matter how many times he picks up his phone, staring at Minwoo number till the dawn come, he can’t. 

He wants to call Eric too, after Minwoo, their leader is the best person to talks about this kind of thing, he’s their problem solver—the