Time, Mystical time, cuttin' me open, then healin' me fine. 

                                                                                           -Taylor Swift, Invisible String

Seven Months Later...

Some cuts never fully healed. Scars are rigid and red, and sometimes a phantom pain will come along and remind you that hurt had once lived right there.
But, that was okay, because sometimes it was important to remember the things that hurt, because then you had proof  of what you've overcome. Lee Jeno had been hurt in his life, and he's gone through high highs, and then low lows. The latter seemed to come along with big changes in his life. Starting college reminded him of feeling alone, and those emotions had eaten at him for a while. But, he'd climbed out of it again, and now he was at a high. And a part of him knew that the pain would appear again; maybe it will be when he graduates and looks to the stands only to be reminded of people who aren't there, or in the future if he ends up waiting at the end of an aisle as a woman walks towards him, he'll think about how nice it would have been to have his parents there for it...but he was getting better at shaking those pains away, at focusing on what he has, and what he's overcome. 
Lee Jeno didn't just need people. He needed love. And maybe he was conceited, but he felt he deserved love. 

And during his freshman year of college, he accepted that he was capable of being loved, of loving too. 

"How many more boxes could you possibly have?" Soeun whined, walking through the apartment door that Jeno had propped open using multiple shoes. 

​​​​​​He opened his arms for her to walk into, which she did. "Not anywhere near as many as you did after a full hour of helping you move out." He kissed her forehead before releasing his hold on her and grabbing one of the last two boxes in his and Mark's apartment. Sadly, the end of the school year meant moving out, and having to find a new place to move into next year. Mark and him agreed to live together again next year, and funnily enough both of their girlfriends were also planning to live together during their second year.  

Soeun rolled her eyes, "You always do something sweet after saying something I'd get mad at." 

"Seven months has taught me how to deal with your massive temper." He snickered. Soeun made to kick his leg but he was too quick. "Hurry and grab a box, my Grandma's expecting us for dinner." 

Soeun perked up, "Really?" She grabbed the last box, "What's she making?"

Jeno waited for her to catch up in the hallway, "Making? She's just ordering pizza, she said I had too many friends now and she can't cook for all of them." Jeno watched her expression from the corner of his eyes, Soeun obviously knew all of his friends from high school. Mira, Doyeon, and her even had a group chat where they talked about the newest kdrama they were watching, but they really hadn't hung out as a big group very often. Probably a grand total of four times since Jeno and her started dating. 

"Don't look at me like that." Soeun pushed past him as they walked out into the summer heat. "You already know I adore your friends; more than I liked most of the people I associated with in high school." 

Jeno laughed, "That's really not saying much." They placed the boxes inside of the back of his car. "And I know you do, you're chill with everyone," he grabbed her hand, swinging it back and forth, "that's one of the things I like about you." 

Soeun laughed, sharp and exaggerated, "Stop flirting with me." Despite her words, she didn't stop him from quickly kissing her. 

He sighed, a wistful tone, "A whole year at this place, done." He leaned against his car, making their interlaced hands swing back and forth. "If you had to describe the year in one word what would it be?" 

Soeun matched his sigh, the corners of her lips twitching up. "Hmm, maybe gladden; because there were things that made me glad, but I'm also glad it's over." Soeun often ended up at Jeno and Mark's place complaining about her  'stupid professors.' "What about you?" She asked, moving so she too was leaning against the side of the car. 

Jeno thought about it for a moment, "Growth. A lot of growing." He laughed at himself, because why was he kind of sad that the year he'd started out hating so badly was finally over? Maybe he was a bit sappy, assigning a word like that to something, but it was really the only word that encapsulated the school year he'd had. 
After such a long time, he finally felt different. He could admit when he's angry, happy, sad--whatever! He's spent such a long time trying his hardest not to be a bother, to always appear happy that way he didn't make the people around him upset. No one had asked him to do that, but he had. And now he didn't, now he was himself to the full extent. 

In the beginning he'd felt like he was falling, like he was a dead leaf on a tree that needed to fall in order to make room for a greener leaf in the summer. And a part of him had been scared that he'd just end up like the leaves falling from the trees in the depth of fall; forgotten under piles of snow. But, Soeun and him had come to the conclusion that leaves grow back on the same branch, and that you didn't have to restrict yourself to being a leaf when you could be a branch.

Lee Jeno had been the leaf, and now he was the branch. Constantly changing, outgrowing old versions of himself and coming back as brighter and better ones. 

Soeun tugged on his hand, "We should get going, go grab the shoes you left." 

Jeno snapped out of his own thoughts, "Crap the shoes!" He pulled the car keys from his pocket, tossing them to Soeun, "I'll be right back."

Soeun watched him run off, shaking her head, "Don't trip, stupid!" 

Jeno laughed. Freely, contagiously, all at once similar to how he did when he was young without a care in the world, and how he did now; with so many things he cared about.  

A\N

Honestly, this story was beyond fun to write. I feel l've written about sad characters a lot, but none that fit it quite like Jeno does in this story. Someone who tries so hard to be happy that he kind of loses himself. Thank you guys for reading and helping find the realness of his chacter with me:)