Adam was not always alone, but he was always lonesome.

                                                                                         -Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Cycle #3

Lee Jeno didn't know where his friends were. Okay, he vaguely knew. For instance, he knew that they were all somewhere around the campuses of their own respective schools, he knew Mark was probably back at the apartment they shared off their campus. But, he didn't exactly count that as knowing, if anything it was much worse having a vague understanding of something; it made him feel more alone. He wasn't alone, he was still very close with all his hometown friends, there was almost never a day that went by when he didn't talk to them all in their group chat; which was always undergoing a name change. 
Jeno figured that going from high school to college would be similar to how it felt leaving elementary for middle school, and in a way he was right, but it was almost too early to really tell. So far, he knew that this change was a bit more lonely than the past ones...but that was okay because a part of him was still very used to being alone. The part that used to wait by the front door for his parents who were never coming back for him, was almost more comfortable walking around the massive campus by himself. But, Lee Jeno wasn't some sob story, so he pushed all his unwanted emotions to the side and went on with his days. The biggest heartbreaks of his life? He doesn't speak of them. The pain of being away from not only his biological family, but also the majority of the friends he found family in...he ignored it. That's how he's gotten through this first month of college, and that's how he'll continue to for the foreseeable future. 

Jeno pushed open the front doors of  'Night Cafe', the coffee shop on campus that's practically always open. "You're an hour early." The girl, Juliana Hwang, said from behind the counter. Jeno still didn't know much about any of his coworkers, but he did know that Jules, as she preferred to be called, is mixed and has been living in Korea since she was ten, she also wasn't much of a people person. 

"Yeah, my last class was canceled." He explained as he walked behind the counter, to where the apron with his name on it was hung up. "Is that a problem?" Jeno asked, he'd heard that Jules liked to keep to schedules, but being mad at someone for showing up early seemed silly, even for her. 

"No, it's actually good." She glanced outside, making sure no new customer was coming in, before walking over to where he stood. "I got a text from my friend, apparently something happened with her boyfriend and she wants my advice, so if you're here I'll just leave early." She started untying her apron. 

"Will the boss be okay with that?" Jeno asked, not wanting to play a part in her getting scolded or anything. 

Jules nodded, "I assume so, I was supposed to be training someone for the last hour of my shift, but you've been here as long as I have; so I don't see why you can't." With the apron successfully untied and set to the side, she grabbed her cross-body bag off the floor and headed for the little part of the counter that lifted up and was used as the entrance and exit. "If you need anything just text me," he was pretty sure he heard her mumble something along the lines of 'I won't answer, but still,' on her way out. Jeno caught himself about to sigh, and instead forced himself to smile; as people say, little things add up. 

He took a deep breath of the coffee scented air as he walked up to the wood counter that was cluttered with the cash register, tip jar, and multiple types of packaged desserts. This job was his favorite part of college thus far. He didn't care too much for the partying--though on occasion it was fun--nor did he have any notable amount of enjoyment attending any of his pre-med classes, but he always enjoyed standing behind this counter and looking at all the cream walls and hanging paintings. It really wasn't very hard to make him happy, it just sometimes felt like it because he wasn't used to feeling the kind of sadness he had been experiencing recently. 

The sound of the bell chime above the door chime went off, and Jeno's customer service smile made an immediate appearance as he turned his head to greet the newcomer. That smile wavered, then completely slipped away as he realized who it was. She seemed to see him at the same time, because he saw her smile slip as well. There was really only one thing going through Jeno's head at that moment, and that thing was: Lee Jeno you're such a d-bag. But, what he actually said was, "What can I get for you." It was a force of habit, you walk up to the counter, and Jeno will go into autopilot. 

He could see the tiny scoff that slipped out of , not to say he was looking at , but he was. "Nice to see you too, Jeno." 

"About that, Soeun-" 

She cut him off, "I'm here because I was told to come in for training, not so I could listen to your bullcrap excuses." Her expression was cold as she said those things, but it immediately changed, as if she realized it was a bit harsh. She folded her arms, "You don't owe me any...I didn't call you after graduation either." Soeun wasn't the type to sit around waiting for a call, he knew that, so maybe that's why he hadn't really thought about it very much the past couple of months. 

"Okay, um..." he searched for the right thing to say, should he still apologize? Should he explain why he didn't ever call her even though they'd gone to the dance together? How that night was one of the best of his life, but he still didn't care enough to call? No. She was the new hire, he was supposed to teach her the ropes, not get all sappy. He waved a hand at her and walked to the little counter entrance, opening it upwards, "There are extra aprons back here?" He almost scoffed at himself. There are extra aprons back here? Seriously, idiot? No amount of mental bullying could make this any less awkward. 

Soeun squeezed past him, "I've worked at a cafe before, so really all I need to know is where you guys keep everything." She said, tying her apron on, before turning to meet his eyes. It struck him that not very much time had actually passed. She was still the same hard worker, and there was no way in heck that the Soeun he knew would let him affect her. 

Jeno clapped his hands, "Great, think of me as your tour guide for the day." 

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​​​​​​"Gahhhh!!" Jeno yelled after throwing himself face first onto the couch. Mark and Mira, his girlfriend, gave Jeno a funny look. They'd been peacefully watching the new Spider-Man movie, but now Mark found himself groaning as he paused it. He took a big breath, and let it all out in the first word of his sentence, "What has our dear Jeno yelling into the cushions today?" It could be so tiring being the therapist of the friend group. Mira laughed as soon as Jeno turned his head, his hair now messy and covering a good portion of his eyesight. 

"Soeun started working at Night's." Jeno revealed. 

There was an audible gasp that left both Mark and Mira's mouths, which would have made Jeno laugh if it was under almost any other circumstances. "What did you say to her!?" Mira asked, hoping up from her seat and heading over to the little bar that separated the kitchen from the living room. She grabbed a couple clear plastic cups and the cheap wine they'd bought to celebrate their first month of college a few days ago--it had felt  like a very adult-ish move at the time. 

"No, what did she say to you!?" Mark asked, grabbing the bottle from Mira and opening it, absently filling the cups as they waited for Jeno to reply. Mira now had her legs crossed on the couch, and her back leaning on Mark's shoulder, so that she was facing Jeno and wouldn't miss a single detail. 

"Well," Jeno sat up, grabbing the last cup off the table, "we basically didn't speak. I think she was mad at me for all of ten seconds, and then she just didn't say anything about it after." He might have downed the drink, which he never did. "I felt like such a jerk, she should have just yelled at me."

Mark raised an eyebrow, "So you wanted her to be angry?" He asked. 

Jeno was about to answer when Mira did instead, "No, he just doesn't like feeling guilty, and if Soeun had exploded at him, he wouldn't have to be stuck wondering how upset he actually made her." She shook her head, "Classic guy move." Jeno couldn't argue, he knew there was definitely a hint of selfishness in his wanting her to be angry. 

"You know the worst part?" Jeno asked, "She works my next two shifts." 

"Isn't that a good thing? You can apologize and explain yourself, I'm sure she'll understand." Mira brought up, doing her best to make him feel better.

Jeno groaned, "I'm such a jeeeerrrkkkk!" 

Mark shook his head, "No, dear boy, you just did something jerk-ish this time. It's not who you are." He definitely started to go into an old-man's British accent by the end of his little spiel, which made Jeno and Mira share a look of both annoyance and amusement. 

Mark almost started speaking again, but Mira quickly turned and slapped her hand over his mouth, "Listen," she looked at Jeno, "just apologize to her, tell her you weren't in the right headspace for a relationship-" Jeno opened his mouth, "-Shush! You're going to apologize to her, I know you feel bad, so just tell her." Mira removed her hand from over Mark's mouth, and took another sip of her drink, "Worse comes to worst, she won't forgive you and you guys will continue to have super awkward shifts together." 

Ah, so that's the worst case scenario? 

A\N 

Welcome to LLFFTT! I hope you all enjoy^^

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