CHAPTER 8: CHOICES OVER YOU

If we were to choose between life over death, of course most of us would rather choose to go have a much better life in existing years, hoping they can see everyone grow up and change, the eagerness of us to live a little longer is always there but the question is, were their always be such thing to have an everlasting life? If ever it did have, are you willing to spend it in a way you wanted to be? With the person you always love?

"Eomma?" After a half day shift, Irene went home with a tired and aching body. Mentally tired because of the things that been happening to her ex's life and the suspicion that her friend had put on her husband's name plus the aching body she had from the emotional breakdown earlier. The woman went straight to the kitchen to see her mother preparing her dinner, it was rare for her to see her mother especially in weekdays, the middle aged woman may not have frequently visited her daughter since then but she always make ways to see her, physically and virtually.

"How's work?" Her mother asked as she helped her from finishing the food she was cooking. A sujebi, it felt like the prosecutor had went back home by how their kitchen smelled with what her mother had cooked. "Your father cooked you a tteokboki and told me to tell you to take everything easily, he wasn't able to come here with me since he insisted that he did not want to left the business to your sister." It felt like a usual day at home were both her and her mother helped each other while they talked about the reasons why her father did not want to left the café to her sister, despite of the distance they had to each other and to the innovative technology that the today's day could offer, her father still never forget to remind her to take everything easy. There's nothing felt like home not even this house of s that she lives now.

"Tell him that he also needed to take care of his self if he did not want to end up like Mr. Kang." Irene answered shortly making her mother to look at her in question, the prosecutor just shrugged her shoulders and answered. "Got a severe lung cancer and had gotten into a heart attack after he found Seulgi's death." Both of her parents knew about the case she was holding right now and how it was related to her ex, they were not mad nor afraid for her to hold such case that was related to her past as they were comfortable to the fact that their daughter's husband don't give a about the past that they had.

"Poor him, he lost both of his children." Her mother said as she took the bowl of sujebi from her daughter and asked her to fix herself to the dinner table. "Joohyun." The prosecutor looked up to see her mother sitting across her. It's been a while for just  the two of them to have such a talk like this and she knew to herself it was something related to her marriage, it's about having a family.

"Mom, please. I'm tired." Irene sighed. "I thought you did not want me to bear a child? That I'm old and at risk of giving birth, mom, you know that I've been having issues with Junmyeon lately, can we just set this aside first? Time would com-"

"And hopefully, when that time arrived I can still give birth to a wonderful child. Of course that's your line Hyun, just because I've told you that you're old to bring a child, you two were not going to try and that issue you had with your husband was also just a common problem with the other married couples out there but how can they have two, three or more children? Think of it, you're the woman of this house -"

"And I have to give everything to him?" Irene felt her anger had gone too far to her head, as much as she wanted to fight with her dignity, she chose not to, she can't just put herself into a fight with her mother. "Eomma, this is about us now, it's on my hands whether to decide between having a baby or not, as of now, I needed to focus on my job." She turned her back and started to walk out of the kitchen when she heard her mom chuckled and slammed her hands to the wooden table.

"Job? Or is it because it's about her?" The woman asked making the prosecutor to take a deep breathe and also did not forget to remind herself to compose all of her s inside her body, it would be questionable if she would answer her mother back in a way she wanted to. As much as she wanted to say yes, Irene was forced by her mind and mouth to work together and said,

"It's not because it was about her, it's because it's my job to give her justice." She faced her once again. "You can think everything you wanted to mom, but I love my husband," that's what everyone had wanted to hear from her. "and I wouldn't dare to lie about what I felt just because I'm holding my ex's case." With that, Irene left their apartment with choices pinned inside her mind.

Should I continue living with him or not?

The prosecutor was driving to nowhere. Her head's floating with Krystal's confusing words, Irene did not see that woman coming, engaged? That could be good for her to know that the woman at least tried to moved on from her but it ended up failing just because she still wanted to be with her. Jung's words might be silly yet it was suspicious, it indeed was but the prosecutor understand why the woman had felt such way towards her, was it because she's the reason why she died? Or she just wanted to help?

As much as Irene had wanted to push that idea away from her head she just couldn't. When she slept with him, flesh to flesh it also seemed like she had also been cheating to her again and again, even though years had passed by and they had both changed their paths ahead of them the prosecutor knew deep down to her system that she was just fooling herself saying to everyone that she loves him at the very first time that she met him in high school and that they were happy, that she's happy. Such a lie.

Irene found herself on the road leading to Soul's columbarium. It was already past nine when she arrived in front of the gates, silent and cold, the woman turned off the engine of her car and abruptly left with just her keys in her hands. "Mr. Lee." She greeted, she knew it was already closing time but there's no other place she can go right now aside from where the younger was. "Can I ?" She asked politely hoping the man would agree which he did.

"Of course. She seemed to be a little lonely."

Irene chuckled and went inside. Seulgi was actually lonely, her lost soul was just there watching the prosecutor in every move, even now that she was standing in front of her ern paying respect by giving her prayers, as much as she wished to at least touched her cheeks or hug her, she can't, she was just a lone being who needed to rest in peace but can't.

The prosecutor felt a nerve bending coldness around her, she usually felt that when she's alone or was just left thinking about the younger even though she was having a hard time to believe in such thing, the woman started to talk. "How are you? It's been a long time." There's a smirk on her face as she looked at the woman's photo. "You did not age at all." Her eyes fell to her hands as she noticed her sparkling wedding ring welded to her engagement one when she suddenly remembered on what Jung had said to her earlier. "These were the rings I got from him Seul, it looked nice but it's not the same as what you have given to her." She held something inside the pocket of her jacket. It was the compass that Seulgi had given to her, the same as what she used to look for the younger when she tried to chase her, Irene had already promised to herself ever since then that no matter what type of clothing she had, she would put it in there anytime, anywhere just to make sure that she was safe with a little bit of memory from the younger.

"Seulgi-ya, I'm almost there. Just a wait a little bit more and you can be in peace, I wished that at least in even just in this way, I can pay for the damaged I've caused to you, I'm sorry, I know I wouldn't be able to turn back time but how I wished I can, I've missed a lot of opportunities to come back to your arms." She confessed with her head's down, Irene slowly took off the ring she had on and put it on her pants' pocket. It was nagging her to show up in a place where supposedly it was just about her ex, she did not want to bring trash knowing that herself was also one of them. 

"I still love you."

"Wakey, wakey." Someone whispered to her ears making her to wake herself up from a wonderful dream that she did not want to wake up. Joohyun felt like she woke up in another dimension, a world were everything's white including on what dress she was wearing. "I love you too..." The woman tilted her head just to notice that it was Seulgi who was saying it to her, she was standing on her side with her hand holding her arm.

The older motioned her to come near her but she noticed that she was lying on a bed with an IV cord dangling on her right hand, the moment she turned to look for the younger once again, she was still there looking at her, this time her smile disappeared and was changed with worry. 

"Check her vital signs! We needed to intubate her, she's losing her signs, prepare the operating room!" Irene heard everyone around her in panicked but she couldn't even move herself even in a slightest inch, she felt her tears falling one by one as she watched the younger who was still there looking at her crying, her neck had a strangle mark with a gunshot wound straight on her forehead.

"She's in cardiac arrest, give me 150 jules!"

Seulgi started to disappear from the sight of the prosecutor, as much as she wanted to shout she can't, she was being held paralyzed on an operating table as her mind yearned for the younger to stay when everything suddenly turned black and she heard her voice. 

"Ani... ani... you should fight, don't follow me..."

"Unnie!" Wendy shouted making Irene to wake up in such a bad dream, the prosecutor automatically jumped out from where she was laying just to see that she was inside the woman's living room. Her hand checked her body just to find herself completely fine just aside from how damped her clothes are from her sweat. "Are you okay? Lisa called me that she had found you lying unconscious inside the columbarium." Irene did not answer as she just felt her tears fell off from her eyes when she suddenly remembered the younger's words.

"U-unnie..."

"Wendy, I just can't, if only I did not cheat over her, this wouldn't happen, I wouldn't have lost her, she would be just in here instead, she wouldn't died, it's my fault, it's my fault, please, Wendy, wake the hell off me I can't just let myself suffer from this, it hurts me a lot to know that I was the reason of her death please helped me." The officer automatically wrapped her arms around the older as she rocked her back and forth to calm her down, it was the only thing she knew to comfort her but her instincts and her judiciary mind had already knew that her friend had almost completely found the ending pieces of the cases.

"I can't take it anymore, please, I can't, I can't bear to see losing her." Irene cried to her arms, the officer soothed her with the ways she knew, Wendy brushed her finger's to the prosecutor's hair and whispered.

"You have to be strong."