CHAPTER 6: A PARCEL OF FAREWELL

Dear Joohyun,

Years had passed by and I couldn't bear to think much about the things that had happened to us, as much as I wanted to blame you, the more I wanted to say I want you. That first day of March was the least thing that I did not want to remember but that wasn't the case now, it was about you and your upcoming marriage.

I heard it from your sister, please don't scold her, I was the one who asked her about the things that had been happening between you and him just to find that you guys were already engaged last month, that sounds nice, you've finally found that 'good person' you've always wanted to be with until the end of your life.

Just a short recap about the things that had happened to me a few years back, I got accepted to a full scholarship abroad, in The Netherlands, the place where I also met the person who helped me 'get through', she's a nice woman, was born and raised in Seoul but had decided to move in Belgium to study there from middle school until we both graduated in college. I got my degree in Fine Arts and was given an opportunity to have a descent job in Paris together with her but it turned out that she also have to let me go, not because she found someone like the way you did but because I'm still into you.

As much as I don't want to admit it but I still can't, the missing attachment that had grown into me from years of being together, I still couldn't bear to forget you but she did not bear to blame me and was still here, saying that I needed to follow the person I wanted to be with but I guess I'm too late now.

Too late that you've already completely forgotten about me.

But for you, I needed to be happy, I may not be able to have the chance to know something about him but I'm sure, he'll be a good man to take care of you and to your children in the future and to until the rest of his life, I can't wait to see the smaller version of you and I know that kid would be lucky to have such an amazing mother in a form of you.

How I wish that it could be me but I, personally can't give you that type of happiness.

Last night, I dreamt about you getting married, I'm in tears to see you that happy, I've never saw you having that type of smile ever since we've been together and that maybe the sign that God had given to me. I will wished you all the best in life and maybe letting you go would be the best decision I've ever made.

For one last time, take care and I love you.

Love, Soul.

Irene did not know how to respond from what she just had read, the emotions inside her were mixed up with confusion and happiness, it's like she went back through time but she can't, her tears were slowly following down to her cheeks, no words were dared to form beneath , a lump of sobs were trapped instead. The woman felt her chest tightened as she looked at how sincere her words are despite of the bad ending she got, Seulgi showed positive views to her marriage even though it only gave her hurt from losing her, in the end she still thinks about her.

Her tears turned to sobs and sobs turned to screams of asking for forgiveness, the prosecutor did not even see this coming ahead of her, she only prayed every night for her ex's happiness in afterlife despite of the nightmares she was experiencing in the hands of her husband, she still chose to think of her even though she wasn't there anymore to secretly looked for her safety.

"Joohyun-ah." Under the moonlight and the calming breeze of the sea. For Seulgi, she knew this would be her last time, she wished that she would never be wrong, that they would never be wrong. Tomorrow would be just another day, a usual one for the other and a start of the new beginning for her. "Happy Birthday." She said while looking at the calm waves of the sea, the woman felt the distant on her voice as she looked at the younger who was sitting just a few inches away from her side, it was the night she never wished to arrive, now, Joohyun finally knew what Seulgi had felt when she decided by herself to end what they had.

She did not answer, the older cautiously walked her hand at the top of the younger's making Seulgi to look at her in a smile of sadness. "Just stay..." The older whispered, her eyes showed sincerity as she looked at to the younger when her eyes fell to her hand, gazing to the diamond engagement ring she had on her finger, she was hurt but her pride was telling her not to say something to the older. Seulgi then looked towards her, her eyes were telling her as if 'to stop and be happy' when she knew deep inside her,  that she was faking it, she did not want to. She just wanted to be with her but the destiny seemed to have no plans on giving them an enough time.

"I can't ." She said silently but firm, the woman took her hands off from the older and stood up making Joohyun to look at her  just like how she gazed at her when she left her at the park a few years ago. 

"Why?" Her voice were starting to get shaky as she looked at the younger's towering height. Her knees were too weak for her to stand up, she was afraid to fell in the freezing cold seawater but she was also afraid of losing her. "Can't you just stay?" For the first time in her entire being, it was new for her to see Seulgi's tears flowing down to her cheeks, she never knew she could made such a strong woman to cry by just her words, little did she knew it was more than just a word for the younger, it was a bullet who directly hit her heart for multiple times now.

Seulgi did not answer, instead, she turned her back and started to walk away, Joohyun did not expect that to happen, she expected her to run and embraced her tight, it's like the thing that had happened back in 2009 but in a version were the tables were turned, she was the one asking for her to choose between real life and her. The older ran towards her, she was ready to leave everything behind when suddenly the younger turned around to say something that she would bring until the end.

She smiled and said. "I did not expect heaven to have such an end but Joohyun-ah," there's a silence between the two of them as if the younger was gathering all of her strength to say the deepest feeling she wanted to say to the older for one last time. Irene looked at her in admiration not knowing that this would be the finale of their so-called tragic love story.

"Can you at least save the last dance for me?"

Devastated, Irene fell to her knees as she held the letter to her arms, she failed once again, for the second time, the realization hits her, this time, much stronger than before, the regret and the lost of strength she was experiencing right now was more tearful than she had ever thought, after that night, she thought it would be the end but just after six years, a lost soul from years go had came back and she never thought it would be this heartbreaking it hurts more than how her husband had beaten her every night, she felt how her heart turned into million of shattered broken pieces.

The atmosphere of the room had dropped, and everything had changed, she wished to go back to that time and fixed everything but she had already lost her, now she was standing in the mere memory of her, swallowing every pride she got just to force her memories to bring the woman she had always love and that she would never forget about her.

"I'm sorry, I really do am." The dark days crept in and her tears dried her eyes out, the minutes turned to hours so as how those the days turned to years, Irene went to the memory lane of her as she remembered how the younger's hands went through her hair, brushing it gently with her fingers followed by the careful whispering of her 'I love you, good night' that she never got to experienced to her husband now.

Everything had changed from the yesterday she chose to leave her, she took everything down even to the butterflies she felt from her, she lost touch and in one blink of an eye she vanished and never came back. She's feeling every missed opportunity she had just to take her back but she chose to go ahead of her life without realizing that she's being too realistic that she lost her number one support. She wished to dream something about her true love this time, saying that it was all just about her dreams and the uneasiness she felt towards her future but no matter how she tried it was all just about misery and how tragic her life had become.

Irene did not notice that she fell asleep crying in the carpeted floor when she suddenly felt someone tapped her shoulder, she pushed away the dried tears on her eyes, as she adjusted from the light. "Unnie, we've been calling you for the nth time, you and your husband were both unreachable, are you guys okay? What did just happen, and why is Soul been talking to you in the tape? Was there anything you were supposedly be telling us as a part of the investigation team?" Wendy asked continuously when she saw a video was paused half way through the end of the video.

"Why did you play that?" She asked as she stood up, her face were puffy red from crying. "Did you get my permission to play that? You don't have the right to do s-"

"I have." The officer's voice were raising. "I don't care if you feel insulted from what I have done but you're already neglecting your duty just after you and Jennie broke out into a fight." Wendy studied the surroundings, some things were out of place, it seemed like the woman had been gone through a huge fight when her eyes landed to an opened parcel box and without any permission, she took it and read the information that were written on it. "Who's Ms. Foxy?" 

The prosecutor shrugged her shoulder, she did not know anyone named Foxy and had never met anyone to have such a name like that. "I don't know." Irene answered. "That package was delivered in here earlier this morning, just short after he left." She knew that Wendy was trying to read her for interrogation, the prosecutor knew if they found this out she would be also put as one of the person's of interest and she knew it would be much better if she would tell her the truth just for her not get excluded from this crime scene investigation.

"Then why would someone send this to you? What's your connection to the victim? Who is Seulgi? Joohyun?" And with that, she knew that her officer friend had started to suspect her. Would it be better if she would tell her the truth? Uncertainty and the frightening feeling of being discriminated from who she really was, was there again but the eyes of suspicion was already there even though she knew to herself that she also did not know on what is going on with the VCR tape and the letter she had received whose  supposedly going to arrive a few years ago. "Tell me or else you  would be dismissed from handling this case prosecutor." She said completely serious in her words. 

Still afraid, Irene begged. "Wendy, please..."

"No." Wendy answered firmly. "If you aren't guilty, why are you afraid of saying it to me? Will there be any reasons why you did not want to tell it? Was it because you're the personbehind this crime? With all do respect prosecutor and as my older sister, Irene, or whoever the person that you really are, I was just doing my job and that includes of investigating my own colleagues and that wouldn't exclude you." Irene was threatened to her words, the woman gulped as she felt she was being trapped by her own friend. With no other choice, she gave up and answered.

"There were lots of things you did not know about me, Wendy." She started. "I was just like a normal high school girl who fell in love to her schoolmate who's a year younger than me, we have the same and I ended up dating her for almost three years, Soul or Kang Seulgi to be known to my family and I, was my ex-girlfriend."

"And?"

She raised her brows. "And what do you mean by and?" 

Wendy faked a cough. "And what's next? what happened?"

"Wendy, it's all about dra-"

"Prosecutor, I'm warning you."

Irene sighed in defeat. "When I moved in Seoul in 2009, I met Junmyeon, though we attended the same school in Daegu, I never got to have the chance of talking to him personally but I already knew that he got an eyes for me, for short, I ended up cheating on Soul which last for months until I decided to clear things up with her, I dropped everything we had for each other and focused on dating him instead, not until I've finally graduated, the night after that, I went to her home but right just before I've got to talk to her, I saw this certain girl whom to be her new one that I've never met, I saw them, making out which hurts my emotions, I promised to myself that no matter on what are the things that would result as an outcome to that night I would accept it. I talked to her and she made it clear that we're over. Fast forward, March 29th, year 2015." The emotions inside her were building up again. "That was the last time I've got to see her, she asked my sister to tell to meet her in Suncheon Bay which I did but I never told her that I was already engaged to Junmyeon at that time but every single time I saw her near to me, I always felt guilty of losing her, especially when that time I've saw her making out with someone, I did beg her to stay but instead, she bided her final goodbye and since then I've never saw her once again." Irene ended with her usual habit of playing with her fingers.

"So you had a relationship with her?'

"Yes." She answered with confidence. "I did."

"Then why are these things delivered to you today were dated back last 2015 in the same day you've said, are you sure these things just arrived today?" As if the emergency alarm turned off inside her, Irene nodded her head and answered.

"There must be a reason why did this Foxy had sent this to me and there would be a chance that she might be part of these crimes."