Author’s recommendation:  Tate McRae – Dear ex-Best Friend

I tear my eyes away from our pictures in my phone, staring at the two of you who are cracking jokes and laughing with each other.   You are seated four tables away and thanks to the wall, you can hardly notice my presence, what more my stare.

Faintly I hear the familiar dolphin laughs, harmonising with another loud laugh.  I feel my heart clench at both the scene and the sound.

That used to be you and me. 

Where did we really go wrong?

Thanks to your seating arrangement, I can see the way your face lit up when she cracks jokes that you find funny.  Sometimes I can see you frowning before the corner of your lips slowly curves up, turning into a beautiful smile that used to be only mine.

I look at my half-filled glass on my table before once again fixing my gaze on you.  Just in time to see the soft pat on the cheek that your companion gave and the soft smile that you curve.

It hurts.

Why does it hurt this much?

Placing a fifty dollar bills under my glass, I grab the book that I brought with me, my sunglasses and my phone before I walk out of the door that is a few steps away from my table.

I stay out in the chilly autumn weather and wait for a few minutes before I walk to the door that is nearer to your table.

I push the door open, bells chiming announcing my entrance to both the staffs and customers inside the café. 

Hwasa, the owner of the café, one that I have befriended during my frequent visit here looks at me weirdly.  She raises her left hand up and points her fingers to me, the customer that she just served few minutes ago.

Flashing an innocent grin I act like I did not see you among the customer and make a bee line to the counter.  It kind of hurt because I walk by you and I have to act like I don’t even know you.  It’s kind of insane how we turn into two awkward messes.

Please call my name.

I chant over and over again with every step that I take.  I can feel your eyes on me, following my every moves and I have to try so hard to ignore the burn of your stare and to not just look your way and say hi.

“Byul,” you call, and my heart rejoices.

I turn to look at you, feigning a shock expression as our eyes meet.

“Yong,”

“Coffee?” you ask.  We are still one or two steps away from each other.

No, I am not going to you.  Not until you tell me to.

But what if you do not call me over?

I nod, foolish grin tugging on my lips.

“Come and join us,”

I would have rejoiced more over the invitation, if it comes from you instead of your companion.  It’s that Hyunnie again.  Damn.

Ignoring my hurt and pride, I walk over to your table and pull the chair next to you out before taking a seat there. 

“Since when did you read?” you ask when I place the book that I carry on top of the table.

“Since my best friend left and I got no one to talk over a cup of coffee with,”

I see your eyes shine with guilt and another unexplainable emotion.  But I do not get to talk much and settle the awkward air between us when Hwasa came by our table.

“1111?” she asks, which I answer with a nod of my head.

Her lips then curves into an understanding smile, eyes conveying a silent encouragement.

“Soju or beer?” she offers.

“You sell that here?” Hyunnie freaks out. I am going to call her that for now since we have yet been introduced to each other and we have Yongsun to blame for that.

“No,” Hwasa answers with sass.

“It’s not in the menu, but I can sneak it in for my favourite regular,” her hand now resting on my shoulder.

“Do you mind having them in a mug, or should I sneak soju glass in too?”

I would like to think that she is just joking, but the worry in her voice clearly says otherwise.  So I pat her hand that is on my shoulder and flash her “I’m okay” smile before I answer her.

“I don’t mind that but I just want my coffee for now,”

Hwasa nods.

She then walks back to the counter and tells her barista to make my drink.  I don’t even need to tell her the kind of coffee that I want since I have frequent here long enough for her to know my order by heart.

Byul finally get to see our leaders’ interaction.  Kim-Bae or Moonsun?

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