"I will really appreciate it. Like really."

Wendy waited for the girl to continue but then it seems like she doesn't have any words to describe what she would really feel if ever other than she's going to appreciate it.

Ouch. I guess that's it. Good game but not really well-played.

~~~~~

Saving herself from the impending heartbreak, she slowly diverted the topic. Glad that Irene went along with her and didn't push the thing about her crush further. While talking about their personal lives, Wendy is actually patching back the pieces of her heart that she knew shattered at the admission of the latter that she will appreciate it. Not that it's bad. Of course, being appreciated is one of the best feelings one could feel. But can you really blame her for feeling like a teenager who's going through again in a heartbreak phase when all she wants is to get her feelings to be reciprocated. Being appreciated is good, but Wendy knows she wants better than that.

She wants to be that one person who can make Irene to feel things. If only.

It's past one in the morning when they have ended the call.

Two hours since they are on the phone talking about almost everything.

An hour and a half since Wendy has been dealing with bittersweet feelings.

Truly, talking with the latter makes her feel giddy inside. But as they continued to talk, somehow blurred lines became clearer.

Her assumptions slowly became the girl's true feelings.

And although she never asked, Wendy knew that her chance of getting Irene to like her back is now turning into a fleeting thought.

All she has left after all these is a nagging feeling in her chest coupled with a will to move on. Like a soldier fighting in a losing battle. She too felt like Irene is the win she can never attain.

"I will really appreciate it. Like really."

"I will really appreciate it. Like really."

"I will really appreciate it. Like really."

-----

Wendy is fidgeting on her seat as she awaits for that familiar face that she longed to see for quite some time now. The pandemic has suspended all their classes for almost a year now. Hence, she's Irene-free through all these months. It's been a long while since she last caught a glimpse of the beauty. Now that they are bound to meet as a bunch of their blockmates decide to hang out together after their midterm examinations to de-stress, Wendy cannot contain her nervousness as any minute now, the girl will grace her life again with her physical presence.

It is not only because they're going to see each other. Aside from that fact, the thing that made her really nervous is that she's actually planning to tell all her unsaid feelings for the latter after their hang out session with the others. She really hopes thay everything will end well. Whether reciprocated or not, she's more than happy if shej can finally let go of all her inner feelings for the latter.

After some time of her spacing out, she can feel Yeri nudging her on the side. She was going to pry off the latter's hands when a goddess abruptly appeared in front of her very eyes. That's the time Wendy knew that she really missed the latter. Irene smiled at all of them and soon settled on the seat in front of Wendy. She muttered a shy 'hi' and soon proceeded on talking with the others to somehow mask away how giddy and nervous she feels inside.

Their orders arrived after almost half an hour of waiting, after seeing all the food in front of her. She immediately sighs, mentally guessing that she's not eating too much today.

In front of her are different delicacies with vegetables mostly in it. What's with her sudden mood change? She's not that fond of eating these greeny leaves.

"Yah, I guess it's really wrong of me to let you decide on what to order." she muttered sternly at Yeri.

At her words, it seems like a light bulb illuminated on the girl's head and have finally realized that her best friend usually does not eat these kinds of food. Too late.

Yeri muttered a bunch of sorry's and offered to order again when she declined and just opted to eat the meat of the samgyupsal.

Wendy was just silently munching on her food, her mood somehow turned a little sour.

"Excuse me, can I order a steak?" Irene muttered all of a sudden which earned a bunch of confused looks from some of their friends, including Wendy. For all she knew, Irene isn't the type of person to really go all out when it comes to eating. So it's quite a sight for them to see the latter like this. Well, a lot could happen in almost a year. Actually for some uknown reason, it is somehow endearing for Wendy.

When their eyes met for the tenth time (Yes, she counted it) that day, they both offered each other a smile. One that is laced with genuineness and the other has some meaning behind such smile.

Irene's order arrived after a few minutes and Wendy cannot help but to gawk at it. If she had just foreseen her current situation now, she would surely order this steak instead of letting her best friend do so on her behalf.

Shock coupled with confusion and fluttering feelings surge through her bodies the instant Irene pushed the plate containing her newly arrived order towards her. Wendy immediately shot the latter a look that's telling her 'what's this?'. Irene just gestured for her to dig in while muttering, "Even miles from here, anyone can sense how uneasy you are. Now, eat."

"You remember?" she uttered truly amused.

"Of course." the latter stated as a matter of fact as she sported a proud look on her face.

All Wendy can think right now is, how can she not fall deeper to Irene when she's acting like this?

"There's only a few people I know that don't eat vegetables. Think of it as a 'I'm-glad-to-see-you-again' gift."

Upon hearing such words from the girl, Wendy cannot help but to let out a really wide smile. What she feels right now is more than a fluttering feeling on her chest, butterflies on her stomach and blushing cheeks. She's beyond happy and giddy knowing that someone is attentive towards her. And more than that, it's Irene of all people.

No words are needed to be uttered afterwards, both know that they are happy to see each other again.

Laughters and rants filled their table as all of them continued to talk about their lives the past few months, their struggles with the online class, their professors, their failing grades and their questions about their future career.

As the clock strikes eight. The group of friends exited the restaurant. Wendy is trailing behind Irene, gathering her courage to invite the girl to spend more time with her. This is it. This is now or never.

Wendy can feel the numerous push from Yeri on her back.

"Go for it. Ask her now."

"R-rene." she uttered lowly to the girl after she caught up with her pace. The girl spared her a glance, waiting for her to continue.

She inhaled a huge chunk of air before she looked at the latter in the eyes, now more confident.

"You w-want to m-maybe go on with dessert or anything you want."

"My treat."

When the girl still looked at her hesitantly, Wendy added immediately, "A 'thank you' for what you did a while ago." Wendy offered.

Maybe, what happened a while ago is already fate working its way for her to confess today.

"Sure. But what about the others?"

"Enjoy your night! They're tired. We're tired! We'll get going! Bye! " Yeri abruptly stated as she dragged all their other friends away from the two. When Irene isn't looking, Yeri has successfully sent her a wink and a 'hwaiting' hand gesture.

~~~

A few teaspoons left from the ice cream they had ordered, Wendy cleared which made Irene to glance up at her.

"I actually have something to say." Wendy started. This is actually so nerve-wracking for her. Nervousness and fear has now slowly crept on every cell of her being. She's on the verge of calling this confession off again but the thought of wanting everything to be clear between the two of them and that this might probably be her only chance, Wendy made up her mind to continue.

"I may stutter a lot, so please bear with me." She knew that judging from the girl's expression, Irene is currently grasping what is happening.

"And please let me talk first."

"What are you---"

"Shhh. Let me finish this first." As Irene nodded to her request, she inhaled deeply for the nth time that minute.

"You probably have an idea about this already."

"About what I truly feel for you. But every time, I denied everything. So, here I am...finally admitting that…" Wendy looked at the latter's curious eyes, trying to convey every inch of admiration and sincerity she could muster in her next three words.

"I like you." She can sense that Irene somehow tensed up at that. Whether it's a good thing or not, Wendy doesn't know anymore. She's actually steadying her heart rate that any seconds now she feels like it's going to burst out because of the overwhelming surge of feelings at that instant.

"I---"

"Let me finish first, Rene." Words are at the tip of her tongue and hundreds of thoughts are forming on her brain trying to correlate everything with what she truly feels inside. For the past two days, she's been practicing some of the things that she wants to convey to the other girl. But now that she's here and Irene is in front of her, she's now tongue-tied. Think Wendy. Think.

Screw this. She scolded herself and soon proceeded to let out any words that she wanted to say.

"I like you since God knows how long. You have made my college journey happier and more bearable, Rene. So thank you for that."

"I want to say sorry too for all the times I have lied about who my crush is. It's just that during those times, I still don't have the courage. Now that I do, I just hope that you will not feel burdened by this and for all the efforts I have made back then. That's actually the last thing I want to make you feel since every ounce of effort I have put in all these, you're worth it."

"I know that some things may change after this but please do remember that I really value our friendship. More than my admiration towards you is my genuineness for what we have as friends."

"I know that you are the kind of person who easily feels guilty even if it isn't your fault. So before you'll be in that position after this confession. I want to make it clear that none of this is your fault including your rejection. If it's a 'No' and 'I can't reciprocate your feelings' then that's it. I'll be fine. Really." She can feel her tears are now threatening to fall but Wendy held it in, afraid that she'll make Irene to feel what she dreaded for the girl to feel just because she finally crossed the line this time.

"Actually before everything, I already knew that I don't stand a chance. And from the time that I have somehow confirmed that…" she's reminded of that time she asked Irene if she's her crush (on which she really is), what would she feel if Wendy will confess to her.

"I've been grasping everything already. Now, that we're in this position. I just really don't want to regret anything. To regret that I never said I like you. To regret that I never made you feel how important you are to me. And to regret that I cannot let you know how amazing you are, Rene."

"Please know that I am always here for you. If you want someone to talk to, you can talk to me. More than my feelings for you, is the fact that I am your friend, always will be. So whatever happens and whatever this confession may bring to us, it will not erase my goal to at least in my own little ways, I can put a smile on your face and make you happy." Wendy finished and for all the times she had the urge to hold the latter's hand, she finally did it. She just hopes that her feelings for this amazing girl in front of her are now clear as day.

No unsaid thoughts.

No suppressed emotions.

No regrets.

-----

"R-rene." she uttered lowly to the girl after she caught up with her pace. The girl spared her a glance, waiting for her to continue.

"Take care and thank you for what you did back there." Wendy smiled but behind that smile are a thousand words she's dying to say to the latter. But what she realized back there after Irene handed her the steak for her to eat since she's not fond of what they order is that…

She cannot let this precious friendship be ruined. Whatever they have now, she's happy and content with it already. Not a hundred percent decision. She still has her inhibitions. But more than what she's feeling romantically, is the urge to keep what they have.

“You have more to say?” Irene inquired as Wendy stayed rooted in her place. The girl can feel the uncertainty on the girl’s features. It feels like she wants to say something but then after a few moments she’s now determined to not say it.

“Someday.” Wendy replied smiling again at her. This time, her smile is laced with mysteriousness and hopefulness for what the future has stored for the two of them.

She knew that she'll probably regret this someday. Heck, she might even have the will again to confess. Despite all these repercussions of what her succeeding actions will be… despite all the uncertainties of having these unsaid feelings.

One thing is for sure,

She'll never regret liking the girl and staying by her side for as long as she can. Even if it entails pure friendship.

Truly, some things are better left unsaid. And that not all brave people can be highlighted in the words 'I can!'. Sometimes saying 'I shouldn't' because that's what you think is best for someone you love is more than enough as a sign of bravery.

The end.

~~~~~

A/N: I know that probably most of you will not agree on how I have ended this story. But ever since I started writing this one, I want to make it as realistic as possible since most of the happenings in this story happened to me in reality except this last chapter. So yeah that's it, I just want to portray that as we like someone it's inevitable that sometimes things just don't work out in the way we want things to be. We'll go through a phase that our feelings will not be reciprocated. So through this story, cheers to all the crushes that we cannot have. 

Please know that I am not into angst (is this even an angst? Hahahaha it's not too much, right?). But since I'm dealing with all these emotions too in real life hahahaha I cannot help but to end things this way. Sorry. 

I hope you have enjoyed reading this story as much as I have enjoyed writing this one. Any comments are appreciated, I do read them all. To those who have left comments, thank you so much ♡ Until my next update. Stay safe ♡