CHAPTER 9: OCTOBER'S MIDNIGHT

The night scrapes deeper to the skies of the small town of Alcala de Henares, the wonderful and glamorous night life of people and tourists can be seen actively through the smiles written to their faces as they walked to the sidewalk of the place, everyone are seem to be happy and outgoing to whatever things they do in their lives, some of them were workers who were happy to go back home to their love ones arms to ease the tiredness they felt throughout the day.

Driving the streets of the night, Seulgi and Irene silently drove away from the crowd without knowing where they wanted to go, melancholy feelings inside the psychologist's chest were seeping inside her, she doesn't even know why every time she had to feel like this whenever she's with the older.

She doesn't even know what tingling feelings meant.

The feeling of butterflied feelings inside you whenever you're with someone special and that hurts her.

Seulgi really never felt that kind of feeling again after everything was thrown up to waste.

"You drink, right?" The woman moved away from trance as she heard the businesswoman's voice, Seulgi looked at the older, who were just sitting comfortably at the shotgun seat with her head resting next to the window, Irene did not utter a single word after what she had said inside the church, but she also don't want to let the younger feel uncomfortable to her words earlier. The businesswoman just doesn't want to make the younger one misinterpret the words she had said towards her earlier. "Of course you do." Irene motioned the younger to stop the car in front of a convenience store.

"Wait for me here." She said and left the younger sitting inside the car. Seulgi was once again left with her wild vastness of thoughts, her head screams with longing as she kept on looking for someone whom she had already known that she would never get to meet again, for now. The younger settled her arms to the steering wheel as she let her head rest in there as the couple of flashbacks came flying inside her head.

"I mean, I am not rushing you love, I just, I mean, I don't want to make your father be disappointed in us, especially you." An emergency call made her go back home earlier than expected, it was already night and her unwell wife was already laying comfortably on their bed as she watched her lover doing her job of taking care of her. "You don't have to rush yourself and besides..." The psychologist lay her head to Jisoo's belly. "You don't have to stress her." A smile had escaped from her lips making the psychologist tired soul be alive once again.

"You're excited, don't you?" Seulgi nodded her head.

"I mean, I wasn't capable of giving it to you but I will do everything to make our family happy."

A tear had escaped from her eyes as she remembered those times she had needed to take care of her pregnant wife. They were married for five years at that time when they had finally decided to take the in vitro fertilization to finally complete the missing piece they haven't had for years, planning such to have a child was a big deal for everyone especially for Jisoo who was the one bringing it to life but it ended up seeing their supposed to be first child in ashes. They lost Elise at her ex-wife's seventh month, due to the complications that Jisoo had during her pregnancy, the child ended up developing a weak heart and lungs causing for her to lose its own life before she could even see the world, the grief inside their hearts remained in there as they both always remember the times were they never failed to get anticipated by the idea of having their own child.

And it never happened.

"Come on, you can cry." Seulgi did not even notice the businesswoman's attention when she heard her voice, Irene handed a canned beer towards the younger, the woman did not hesitate to get it from her and chugged it down to . "There's nothing wrong about crying." Irene said once again as she put her knees up to her chest while looking at the younger who was sobbing harder as she drank her beer making the older to shake her head. "You know what." The woman unclasped the psychologist's seatbelt following hers. "Let's go."

"Where?" Seulgi's shaking voice made the older to feel guilty for unknown reasons.

There's nothing that Irene can do, if she can shame someone, she can but she's really terrible at comforting someone but to someone like the person sitting next to her right now, the only things she can say is she needs to let all of the things bothering inside her chest to escape. Irene took the bottle of whiskey she both and put it inside the pocket of her long coat as she run towards the younger and without any hesitance, she grabbed her hand and started running to the almost empty streets of Alcala de Henares, with a simple smile written on her lips and her free soul, the woman let goes of the psychologist's hand while saying. "Just go! Just let it go!" They both continue to run making the psychologist laugh at the silly idea of the businesswoman to make her happy.

" you!" Seulgi shouted at the top of her lungs as she took the whiskey from the older. " YOURSELF KIM JISOO!" A tear escaped from her eyes as she remembered that it was also her first time cursing her ex-lover, Seulgi never tried to say that in front of her, she never had that strong courage no matter much how she got hurt about it, as long as she just knew that she just love, she never do. " YOU FOR HURTING MY EGO!"

"YOUR LIFE!" Irene shouted making the psychologist respond by following her on what she just said.

"FOR OUR PROFILE, MY LIFE, MY FAMILY AND EVERYTHING AROUND ME!" Seulgi shouted as she fell on her knees making the businesswoman to laugh at the drunkard woman laying like a dead person in the middle of the road when suddenly,

"¡No nos importa un carajo tu culo roto!"

"I'm having the time of my lif-" Irene covered the psychologist's mouth who was still saying something making the older to chuckle to the younger's silliness. "That man was shouting at me." Seulgi said slightly pouting , the woman was still lying in the middle of the street whilst the older was sitting on her side while listening to all the things that the psychologist blubber.

Irene helped the younger to stand up and let the psychologist to put her arm on her shoulder as they walked farther to the end of the Alcala de Henares, Seulgi was a bit drunk from the beer and whiskey she had drank but she still managed to walk carefully with a little bit of wobbling from side to side, the woman continue to talk about the toxicity she had throughout her life and the businesswoman was there to listen to all of it not until Seulgi noticed the bench next to the lamp post.

"There" Seulgi pointed. "That was the place, Irene." She said as took her arm off of the businesswoman's shoulder and went ahead of her to the bench. "This was the place." She sat at the bench with her hand motioning the older to come and sit next to her, the businesswoman nodded her head and stood in front of her.

"So you're going to tell a story once again?" She asked, making the woman chuckle a little.

"Of course, I haven't been able to come here for a long time now." Seulgi said as she took something from the pocket of her jeans. "This is the exact place where she said yes to me both to the time I asked her to be my girlfriend and to our marriage." She showed three different rings to the older.

"This was the ring I gave to her the first time that we're together, the engagement ring and the wedding ring."

"You kept that as a memory of her?" Irene asked but the woman shook her head as an answer. The psychologist pointed to the dark sea of stars.

"He's here again." Irene looked up to see the brightest star of October's midnight. "Sirius is here."

The woman shook her head and took the bottle of whiskey from the younger's hand who willingly let go of it. "Seulgi you're drunk."

"I know." She put the rings at the end of the bench before she looked back up to the sky. The businesswoman didn't ask about why she puts it in there, she already knows why. "What type of person you want to be ending up one day, Irene?" The psychologist asked out of nowhere, also, it was the first time that the businesswoman clearly heard the younger to call her by her name, no honorifics, not Ms. Bae nor Ms. Irene, just the name of her own, just the simple Irene.

It's been a long time that Irene had heard her name being casually called by someone and she's even more comfortable having heard of it as simple as that. Irene looked up to the sky, as she admired the beauty of the bright star while feeling the breeze and the presence of her friend sitting on her side. "I don't pick too much, as long as that person both got the love and trust from me, I will casually proclaim my vows for..."

Seulgi turned her head towards the older who stopped from talking. "For?" She asked as she looked at the businesswoman who seemed to be thinking about the words she needed to form.

"Her." Irene said as she turned her head to look at the younger to be surprised to see the woman's eyes gazing at her. The businesswoman didn't understand those things hidden at the back of the younger's eyes, the emotion inside of it was enough for her to have the butterflies tickling the insides of her stomach when she suddenly felt a hand cupping her cheeks, carefully caressing it making the older woman in feel the ease.

"I'm sorry..." A warm pair of soft lips landed on Irene's lips, the woman did not know how to respond. She remained sitting there frozen not until she felt it moving in the entrance of . Irene did not know how to respond but known as she was, the businesswoman did what her mind wanted to do so the businesswoman pushed the younger followed by a slap waving to Seulgi's cheeks, Irene also took the opportunity of running away from the younger before she could even go back to her senses.

The businesswoman cried for an unknown reason as she ran away from the younger, she did not even know why she was crying and if she even needed to do it. Without even turning her back, she whispered to herself,

"I can't just let myself guard down."

--

I'm confused, should I be? I wanted it to, but I don't want to face the consequences of having you and such things about falling in love with you. Things seemed to look like a complicated situation for the both of us, or it's just me, the one who made everything to look like that and I just tagged you along, it hurts, and I don't know why.

Should I really need to get hurt or I should just choose not to?

Because I know you are such a huge losing game.

"So what are your plans now, Jisoo?" Living a life without her wife seemed to look like a life living under the rock, everything looks so pointless a mistake she doesn't even know why on earth she had made it. For months of being just the Kim Jisoo that the industry known since then was nothing but waste, she might have got everything she had wanted in life but there was still a missing piece that she'd been longing for.

And that was her.

Kang Seulgi.

"I've already seen her, I have to drop this call, bye." In the early morning of scraping skies of Madrid, Jisoo had managed to pull up all of the courage she had to meet her ex-wife, just to close the unfinished business they have together. Their past.

While sipping her coffee, the psychologist noticed the person she'd been waiting for from afar, the woman abruptly straightened up her shirt and put her specs back to her eyes as she stood up and waited for her ex-lover to stand up across her. Seulgi bowed and greeted the woman. "It's nice to see you once again, Jisoo."

It sounds like the most awkward thing to their ears as it was also their first time to hear each other's name escaping from their mouth. The two smiled at each other and started to catch up to some things they weren't able to talk about after their divorce, they both knew that something had changed in that span of time so as the way Jisoo described the way her ex-wife looked at her.

The love was still there but it did not look like the way it used to before.

And she was not prepared about it but she had to accept it.

Jisoo was the one who put the mess in their relationship.

--

"Unnie." Wendy hugged her friend as she saw the older sitting at the farther end of the café. It's the fresh beginning of November and it's starting to get cold, with her long coat draped around her shoulders, Irene embraced her childhood friend so tight that it made the woman ask a random question inside her head.

Irene Bae has never been like that, being so affectionate to others was the least thing she ever did in her entire life but for now, she needed one, she needed such a comfort to calm her the burning fire inside her that someone had managed to pull in.

"Are you okay?" Wendy asked with the obvious hint of concern lingering on her voice, she herself had known that the older woman had never been like that to her, and it was such an unusual happening for her to hear and felt the burden emotion that the woman held. "I know you're not, please, tell me."

It's been awhile since the accident happened at that night, and it still hunt the businesswoman about what did the psychologist did to her, after that, their communications were cut, the woman never answered her calls and texts, sometimes, she even got a flower and a letter from her that she never read from, everything was wrong, so wrong that it made their growing friendship disappear into ashes.

Is the friendship really the reason why the older woman felt hurt about what Seulgi had done?

Or did she just really expect more than the friendship that both of them can offer.

Irene doesn't know, she really doesn't know.

"I'm really sorry if I wasn't able to follow here abruptly, but please don't be like that." Wendy put her hands at the top of Irene's, making the older woman look at her friend with her unarranged thoughts and broken memory from that night.

"Something just happened." Irene started. "And I don't like it..."

The woman listened carefully to Irene's words. "There were a lot of things that had happened here for the past weeks I've been here, and I would say that I felt lost and guilty for the things I'm doing right now." Irene said as she looked at the younger who was looking back at her.

"Did someone hurt you?" Wendy carefully said but the woman didn't answer, instead she played with her bracelet alone with her thoughts once again. "Unnie, please, tell me so I will be able to know where to start helping you, you're not like this. You've never been like this."

"Seungwan-ah..." The businesswoman whispered. "I've been helping Seulgi every time she's down because that was the least thing I can do to help her, we also got to get closer as she was the only peer I have here in Spain but..."

"What did she do to you?" From concerned to a voice of terror, Wendy looked at the businesswoman with the obvious rage she had inside herself. "Tell me." Irene looked up to her friend with her eyes seemed to look like stopping her tears from falling.

"She kissed me."

--

"There were a lot of things that had happened for the past months I guess." Jisoo said as she drank her cup of tea, on the other hand, Seulgi looked at her there were no words form inside her, all the things she wanted to say were trapped underneath at the back of her mind.

It's been a long time.

The two silently catch up to some things that had happened to their life without their each other's presence leaning to each other, it was quite tough but that didn't mean that they needed each other once again.

What is done, is done.

What's more you can do if something that you have once wanted in life has come to an end? Of course, no matter how much it has been stuck on you, you will always need that to let go. No matter how hurt you are, no matter how love you have given to that one, just let it go and move on.

"I'm sorry." Those two words had made the psychologist look up to her. Seulgi met those hazel brown eyes that once she had fallen in love before, those tantalizing gaze that everyone could fell for, the eyes of the woman she had gained her trust and worth that everyone couldn't have managed for.

But it doesn't look the same.

Those eyes were different.

Seulgi felt the seriousness of her ex-wife's voice to the point that every worry she had on leaving her had vanished, the nights she had cried and blamed herself for the unworthiness she had gone through the times she was alone, everything just disappeared like bubbles popped up in the air.

"I just realized that I have to, I've hurt you, too much hurt that I've lost the most precious person I've loved," Jisoo held both the psychologist's hand with both of hers, the warmth that once she was familiar with it became just an unknown touch for her, and the model had knew about that. "I'm hoping we can head to our own paths without the hurt and guilt we have for our previous relationship." The woman warmly smiled towards Seulgi making her realize that it was really the end of their chapter.

"Of course." Seulgi also held her hand for one last time. "As long as this would make the both of us happy, we'll do so." She said as she looked at her with a smile written on her face. Closure, every story had a need to come to an end, whether it was a book or not, a dream or something, if it didn't work like what it used to do, just let go and move on.

"Wendy! Come on! You don't have to!" The minimal silence of the café broke after a scenery of two women walking out of the establishment obviously in rage had caught the customers attention. Everyone was looking at them when the smaller woman answered in a ferocious voice. "I have to! What if she was just using you? Are you out of your mind?" The guards of the place had walked towards them but the woman had managed to pull her arm out of the man warning him to not to touch her.

"Is that..." Jisoo was about to say something, when Seulgi abruptly stood up to follow the two, the woman didn't take no time, she also followed the psychologist, for unknown reasons, the model felt suspicious to the woman's move as it was her ex-wife's nature to follow someone she merely knew.

"Seulgi!" Jisoo shouted as she saw her standing just a few meters away from those two, their voices echoed through the busy streets of Madrid but Wendy didn't bother to stop answering the older. "Come here!" The model motioned to the psychologist but the woman proceeded to walk towards her friends.

"Sto-" Before Jisoo could even say something, Wendy turned around to approach the upcoming psychologist.

"What the hell was happ-"

"You! You're the problem in here, stop being such an and move on! You don't have to use Irene just to forget her!" Jisoo stood surprised from the drama happening in front of her eyes right now. The model only knew about her ex-wife temporarily residing in Spain for obvious reasons but she doesn't know what the president of Son's was saying towards her. Irene was trying to stop Wendy but the woman was ferocious enough to push her away from her side making the older to fall in her knees, without any hesitation, Jisoo helped the businesswoman to stand up leaving the two fighting in front of them.

"What is happening?" Though confused, Jisoo asked Irene. It was evident to the woman's eyes that she's afraid and was about to cry but the model comforted the older. "You don't have to cry."

"I'm sorry."