"But Now That I Found You" 
A poem by PlateauWorld

"I couldn't even remember if it was Spring, or Fall 
All I could remember was the way you made me talk 
Stuttering like there was no tomorrow,
Hoping I was breaking through your sorrow...

Everyday, for all you can recall, the railway system has been your ally. Whenever you wanted to go somewhere under the light of day - the trains were always the ones that made you get there. Your dorm was beside the end of the South Line, but anywhere you needed to be, whether to hang out with friends, or to just see the better side of the city - it was nearer to the end of the North Line. 
This at times irritated you, sometimes it made you feel like an adventurer, but most of the time it just made you earn your frequent transit miles. There are eight stations in total which cover the attachements of the city, divided into two to indicate which side of the metropolis you are. Every Wednesday, you take the train to the Northern End to meetup with your friends and hang out, this has become a weekly ritual. But apart from this gathering that awaits you on every bit of the calendar, there was this girl you noticed who was always stood in front of the doors of the same-levelled cart of the Southern train everytime the trains stopped at the fifth station. 
Both trains were always in unison to stop at the fifth station, every Wednesday, at 2:10 PM. Sometimes, you'd meet eyes with this girl, sometimes she'd be busy on her phone, sometimes you see her with her earphones on listening to some tunes. 
It didn't really matter much to you until one day. 



You took a look at your wristwatch, and right on time for everything to connect, it was 2:10 PM, both trains were at the fifth station for a stop, and it's no surprise it was a Wednesday. You see the same girl you notice everytime, but this time she wasn't exactly looking great. She had this grim aura surrounding her, mixed with sadness. To your surprise, she got off this stop, and she didn't even head out to the exits - she just got out of the train to sit somewhere in the station maybe to rest. Your curiosity peaked indefinitely, and you debated to yourself whether you should go to her and see what's up, or just leave it be. The opposite train was done deporting and collecting passengers at this stop, so it already left. Supposedly the same to the train you're currently in, but the driver just announced at the PA system that there are some problems with the door controls, so the train can't leave the station just yet. 
Maybe it was just caprice but you saw this as the sign you needed to pull through with the winning side of your self-argument. You quickly hopped off the cart, and right on cue, the doors finally closed for the train to depart the station. 

You looked around the almost empty station to see where the girl went, you look at the benches, the vending machine areas, and even the stairs to see if she was there - but there was no trace of her. That is, until you heard a soft weeping by one of the corners of the station. You slowly walked towards the farther benches of the proximity, only to see the girl you were looking for trying to suppress her weeping, whilst holding her stomach. No second thoughts, you approached her to check if she's all right. 

"Miss, are you okay?" 

She didn't respond, not even a look, and not even an acknowledgement of your presence. 

"Does something hurt?" 

This time she did turn to you, and you see her nodding to answer your question. 

"Is it your tummy?" 

She answered with another nod, and started taking deep inhales. 
She wasn't even sat on the bench, nor was she stood, she was sitting on the floor due to the excruciating pain. 
You commiserated, and knelt on one knee to shed at least a bit of light on the situation. 

"Did something happen? Did you hit your stomach somewhere? Did someone hurt you?" 

The girl couldn't respond to your inquiries, and you thought this was something that needed medical attention now. 

"Look, miss. I really think you should go to a doctor now. There's a nearby clinic here, not very far, three blocks from the station. I'll take you there." 

The girl wasn't responding as you expected, but something did caught your attention. You saw a tin of Coca-Cola beside her, and then you recollected an imagery. You remembered you always saw this girl with a beverage of Coca-Cola everytime you'd cross paths at the station. 

"Miss, I think I know what's wrong. I think you're having a stomach ulcer. It's definitely essential we get you medical help now." 

You were about to stand up, and call for the personnel of the station to call for EMS, when the girl responded to you. 

"You have no idea what's wrong..." She said with evident hurting from her tone, still trying to stop her tears. 

"Maybe not, but one thing I am sure of is that I'm here, and I know I should help you. If you can't walk to the clinic, I'll call EMS so you can be tended to." You replied with a careful tone. 

The girl suddenly stood up with all her might, still looking in pain and dejected, then turns to face you whilst arching a bit to to the front to accommodate her discomfort. 

"Let's go to that clinic, I can walk." 

You were the one who nodded in response this time, and took the girl's bag to carry for her. She placed her hand on your shoulder as support, as you two leave the station to slowly walk to that clinic.

... The next I just couldn't predict
You wanted to show how much I shouldn't see
I surely don't believe in destiny,
But I can't deny the fact you were there with me...

True as to what you said, and what she intended, you both made it to the clinic, and the attending physician wasted no time to see what was wrong with the girl. Whilst the girl was inside the clinic lying down on one of the beds, possibly under relieving-medications, the attending physician gave you a visit about her. 

"Are you her boyfriend?" The doctor asked.
"Heavens no! I don't even know her name! I just saw her in distress, so I went up to her to help." 
"Well, regardless, you'll be happy to know your friend is okay now. You were right, she did have a stomach ulcer. Possibly from the endless amounts of soda she drinks in a basis, but the pain she was feeling wasn't just from the ulcer - it was also from stress." The doctor divulged. 

Now you got to connect the dots when the girl said you're in no awareness of what was wrong with her. You asked the doctor if you can check up on her, and he approved. So now you've went inside the inner part of the clinic, and you see her just lying down still, staring at the ceiling. You slowly approached her, and this time, she takes notice of your presence before you even made a sound. 

"Hey, doctor told me you're gonna be okay." 
"Thanks for bringing me here." The girl said. 
"No problem, I just thought it was the right thing to do. Maybe you don't know it, but every Wednesday, I see you boarding the South train, and I got a little curious when you stepped off the station." 
"I guess you know that wasn't my stop. My stomach started hurting, so I got off the train, I thought maybe I just needed to walk it off." 
"No Coke for now, all right?" You reminded with a smile on your face to lighten the mood. 

The girl just nods and puts on a smile on her face as well, she was so gorgeous when she smiled. It was like an angel in human form. 

"My name is Lee Chaeryeong, but you can call me 'Judy'." the girl introduced herself. 
"Nice to meet you, Judy. I'm-" 

You weren't done introducing yourself, suddenly Chaeryeong's phone rings for a call. She tries to reach for it on the nearby table, but she was having a struggle, so you quickly grabbed her phone to hand it over to her. Chaeryeong thanked you for the favour, then she discloses to you who it was. 

"It's my mom..." 
"Answer it then, she must be worried." 

Chaeryeong nervously answers the call, then starts conversing with her mother in their native language. 
You stepped off for the bit to give her the privacy she needs, even if it didn't mean much since you couldn't understand what she was saying. 


-

After waiting a bit at the outer clinic area again, you see the doctor emerging from the inner clinic with Chaeryeong. You stood up, and saw that she was all better now, and she was holding a paper bag with her - possibly medicine the doctor gave for her condition. 
The doctor tapped Chaeryeong on the shoulder, and waved you goodbye, as the two of you exit the premises. 
You looked at your wristwatch and time tells it's now 4:30 PM. You've called back your friends hours ago anyway that you're doing something that needs more attention, you told them the gist of what happened. It will take another Wednesday to hang out with them, but that's not much of a wait, so you didn't find it bothersome. 
Chaeryeong was looking out the streets for something, and you saw she was taking glimpses at you, so you did something expected after such a time of that. 

"Wanna go take a walk down the bay? I mean, if you're not busy - I mean, if you don't have any plans? It's almost sunset, and I love watching it." 

Chaeryeong looks at you with a twinkle in her eye, and nods with this gracious smile on her face. For a moment there, your heart skipped a beat, and you couldn't explain why. 

"This way, right?" Chaeryeong asks as she points down the avenue towards the pier. 
"Yeah! Here, give me your bag." 

Chaeryeong hands you over her bag, and you mounted it on your shoulder. You both start walking down the road towards the bay, to more or less spend time and hang out. On the way to the bay, you wanted to ask Chaeryeong something that made you wonder since the start of your interaction. 

"Hey, Judy. I hope you don't mind if I ask, but the doctor said the ulcers were caused by stress, not just your consumption of softdrinks. Are you okay? Is there something that's been bothering you?" 

Chaeryeong took some time before she answered your question, and then she replies in a calm tone. 

"I'm at my senior year in Uni. Our thesis has just been rejected by our professor. I worked day and night on that the most. I sacrificed my sleep, my energy, my time, and myself just to make sure I would pass. Today was the day of our defense. I was already running late, so they started without me - suddenly my thesismate texted me the panel rejected our thesis. That's when my stomach started hurting, and I got out of the train." 

You were left speechless from the revelation, and you just wanted to not reply at all. Silence was the better route in your opinion to be there for her.
Chaeryeong looked at you after she said her story, and you just responded with a slow nod, and she did as well.

... I wanted to make the pain go away
Every bit of my existence wanted to stay,
Stay beside you until I breakdown and pray,
Pray to a god for the joy - come you that day ...

So now after a good amount of walk that you weren't exactly sure if it was okay for Chaeryeong to do, you both are now sat at the end of the pier. Shoes off, dangling feet, and just watching the horizon. 

"So, you have two sisters ... A younger sister named 'Chaemin', and an older sister named "Chaeyeon', correct?" 
"Yes." Chaeryeong replies with a grin. 
"And your older sister is an artist in South Korea, a 'KPOP Idol', so you say." 
"Correct." 
"Amazing. She must be well known then?" 
"Yeah, she is. Sometimes, I do miss my family, especially my mom."
"Must be pretty difficult studying abroad." 
"Very." 

... But all things must come to an end
The sun has gone for a moon to lend
Closing time, so farewell I greet from my bed
May my dreams remind me of your caress ...

"I have to go back to my dorm now." Chaeryeong says
"Oh, yeah. I didn't notice the time." You replied as you looked at your watch that said 7:30 PM
"Thanks for making me happy today. I really needed that." 
"I can take you home if you want. It's a bit dark out now." 
"I'll just call an Uber, thanks again." Chaeryeong respectfully turns down your offer. 

Chaeryeong stands up from the ledge of the pier, starts booking a pickup on her phone, and then once she was done, she put on her shoes and started walking away without looking back. 
You wanted to see her figure be gone in a few distance, but you didn't want her final memory to be this, incase you were never to see her again. So you decied to just stare out at the wharf, and watch the moonlight travel down the wavy waters, reflecting itself throughout the night. 
After waiting a bit for a few minutes, you decided to head home now as well. Stand up from the ledge, gather your items, and put on your shoes - for it was time to go home. 

You'd be lying to yourself if you didn't face the fact Chaeryeong was all you can think of from that moment on, to days end. 

... Where did you go? 
Wherefore are you to my soul? 
From humble requests, the needing started to grow 
I felt lost, like a child wanting to know ...


Two months have passed, and you never saw Chaeryeong again. Whether it'd be in the trains, or the entirety of the town. It was just wishful thinking at that point to even assume you'll find her. You asked around to at least hear a shred of hope, but all it brought you are doubts, speculations, and news saying the girl you were looking for has gone and moved away. Probably back to where she belonged, after everything else you could've gathered from your last chat with her. It filled you with nothing but despair, above everything else than what you could describe. Sometimes you'd ask yourself why did you even meet her, if she was to be gone too soon than what you've wanted. 

... These days, I seek refuge and comfort in my dreams
But to my own foolishness, she was also in my dreams
There was nowhere to hide
There was nowhere to hide ...


Riding the trains were never the same after that. As much as you want to forget Chaeryeong, you still look for her when the trains meet at the stop. Though it can't be new to you anymore to see she wasn't stood there like she used to. It was just all too much, and you started to believe you were delusional that day, and everything was just in your imagination. Maybe that's why it was starting to hurt more than what it should be. Three more months have passed, and there was still no sign where Chaeryeong could be. No online results, no social media - it's as if she disappeared from the face of the Earth. 

... But now that I found you
It all made sense for two 
You were no longer far from my blues
I was too close that you were beside me too."

You finished reading your poem to the downtown café crowd. You see a bunch of people softly clapping their hands, whilst others are busy on their phones minding their own business. You stepped off the spotlight and head back to your table, where your notebook of poems are. You opened it to a specific page, and you brought out a pen from your pocket. A voice of a woman starts conversing with you, but you didn't see who she was because you were busy correcting a few lines in your book. 

"Nice poem." The lady said. 
"Thank you, though I think it's a bit sloppy, a bit too forced." You replied. 
"To whom was the poem for?" The lady asked. 
"It's about this girl I met months ago. I wanted to write what I felt all in all." 
"From the lines near the end, it seems like she left you." 
"I don't want to think of it that way ... Maybe she just had to go." 
"But now I'm back." 
After hearing this line, you looked up and saw who it was. 
It was Chaeryeong, sporting a different hair colour and everything. 

"Judy..." You muttered. 
"I'm sorry if it took all this time ... I had to go back to South Korea few days after we met." 
"It's okay. Please, have a seat." You invited with a warm smile on your face. 

The rest of that afternoon was spent catching up with one another, and slowly the heartaches melted away. One thing you realised that it wasn't something romantic, it was strictly platonic. You longed more for the time to spend with a friend, than to gain a love. You saw Chaeryeong as someone you gravitated towards, not someone you'd fall for. 

But never say never, because love moves in mysterious ways.