… 10.23.2017

“Choi with the ball, 20 seconds left.” 

Jiyeon was clutching her phone tightly between her fingers, the live broadcast of the nba game in her fingers. It was 8pm in New York and 9am in Seoul, and the back and forth game was finally drawing to a close.

There was his silhouette surrounded by two defenders, as the clock continued to wind down.

“Choi to Anthony, Anthony shoots and he makes it!” 

Jiyeon almost dropped her phone in excitement.

“The Garden is going crazy as the Knicks take the lead, Warriors 104, Knicks 107.” 

She was bouncing on the mattress happily as she watched in anticipation. 

There was one main problem now, it was the small figure in blue. With the golden number 30 on the back of his jersey. Jiyeon knew this was the infamous Stephen Curry. 

He already had scored 32 points in the game, and it was none other than her boyfriend who was guarding him. 

A closer shot revealed Daniel sweating as he kept his arms in front of him to each side. 

“Come on oppa, you can do this.” She whispered to herself, as she unconsciously scooted to the edge of the mattress. 

“Curry with the ball, he shakes, he bakes, and takes an open look.” The announcer cried.

The reigning MVP, dribbled quickly to each side, and Daniel was forced to scoot backwards from his fancy dribbling. With just barely enough space, Stephen Curry launched the ball into the air.

“Curry from way downtown…. AND GOOD!!!”

The ball splashed through the hoop, the net barely moving at all from the perfect shot. 

“Warriors and Knicks tied at 107! With only 5 seconds left.” 

“ANDWAE!” Jiyeon screamed. 

She could see a large frown on Daniel’s face as he returned to his bench. Jiyeon remembered from before he had told her in those situations. He should’ve fouled the opponent and made them shoot two free throws instead of risk letting them tie the game with a three pointer. 

However, as the timeout flashed and the commercials disappeared. There was a look of determination on her boyfriend. Fiery eyes that looked like the ones he had when he had played in the KBL. 

“5 seconds remaining, Anthony passes into Calderon. Calderon to Choi, he dribbles, looks for some space. Stepback jumper—” 

There was a chain of three passes, one from the sideline, then to another player, then to Daniel. He dribbled, even with the tall number 11 guarding him. But as the buzzer ticked to 3 seconds. The Korean player skillfully shifted his weight to the back of his legs, and lept backwards shooting a long 3-point shot. 

It was only a second of travel time. But that second seemed to last forever. 

“—ITS GOOD! Choi with a buzzer beater at the very last second!” 

“My words exactly, that’s now 28 for Choi. Knicks will take the game 110-107!” 

Jiyeon couldn’t even say anything as she watched him score the final shot. He was incredible… why was she surprised? Yet at the same time the thrill she felt watching him, it was similar to that of a horror movie. 

She was grinning widely wondering who she could boast to. 

“And Kenny, we can’t help but praise the efforts of Choi. There were many doubts as he was first signed, but he has been proving everyone wrong lately. That’s his third straight game averaging over 20 points.”

Jiyeon finally turned off her phone, realizing it had still been playing in the background even as she launched it onto her pillow in delight. 

She was so happy for him. 

She wanted to call him right then to congratulate him, but she knew he would be at least another hour of press conferences and meetings before he would finally be free. 

It was the reality of dating an NBA player. With his high salary came a commitment that drew him away from family/acquaintances. 

Jiyeon finally calmed herself down after a few more minutes, and rested her head back onto the pillow. She sighed as she slowly realized just how tired she was. 

After all, she had gone into Bae Yoonjung’s studio the night before and— let me just say that she was not prepared for the harshest dance lesson she had been given in some time. 3 hours of nonstop cardio. She was surprised herself she had mustered the energy to wake up to watch his game.

But, nevertheless, no amount of coffee and caffeine can keep a person from their sleep. And her eyes slowly dimmed out the world around her, sending her into a peaceful slumber. 

 

This is an idea that I’ve had since I first wrote L&B. 

Let’s call it rewind… (rewind tape sound effect)

Before Daniel Choi saved Jiyeon in Japan and they confessed their feelings

Before he arrived in Korea and became the Basketball Idol

Before he was drafted into the NBA… Instead to a time of Jiyeon.

To T-ara, before the scandal.

What if things had been different?

What if there had never been that fateful night?

What if Park Jiyeon and T-ara had never had their scandal?

 

The following narrative is completely my imagination, and may seem unrealistic to some. But based off pure trajectory speculation.

 

Park Jiyeon followed her unnies back into the waiting room. A joyous atmosphere after finishing their loved performance. 

“Wow, they are all so manly.” Hyomin sighed wistfully as she held her hand between them.

“Eunjung was practically drooling over Wooyoung.” Qri tapping her on the back.

“I saw it too. It was definitely Wooyoung Sunbae-nim.” Jiyeon added on playfully, glad to get revenge for her earlier teasing.

Something felt odd. Why did it feel? Why did something feel strangely off the moment the words left ? Was it deja-vu?

“Was not!” Eunjung retorted flustered by the sudden shift in targets. 

But barely a second later, she sighed wistfully, clearly fawning over him again. “But the way he dances is so y.”

“I think Nickhun-ssi is so cool, he makes me wish I was born Thai.” Soyeon gushed with passion, garnering immediate laughter at her statement.

Something felt so strange though. Jiyeon couldn’t put her hand on it… but she felt an eerie feeling in her bones.

While they were escorted back to their waiting room by their managers. They quickly changed from their stage outfits, knowing they had to return to their agency for concert preparations as soon as possible.

Jiyeon had changed into a simple hoodie and jeans, remembering that she might get spotted while leaving. After all, she had been scolded enough for wearing sweats in public by her managers.

The other members returned to main room as well, all now in casual clothes.  

For some reason, the moment they were all united, she felt a chill down her spine. Her eyes drifted towards— “Jiyeon unnie, who would you choose between the two?” Ahreum, the new maknae inquired. 

That question… how did she know that she would ask?

“Um, I don’t know. I guess Chansung sunbae is tall and manly. Maybe that Sunbae.” Jiyeon admitted, but immediately regretted it the moment she said it. Because she felt gravity press against the side pushing her gaze to the member currently sitting in the corner of the room. 

Ryu Hwayoung looked anything but happy. Not that it was abnormal. No, it was quite normal, but something still felt off.

“I thought your type was Lee Chunhee sunbae-nim?” Boram interrogated clearly intending to further. "Does that mean that unrequited love is over?”

She felt a chill seeing the frustration and anger building on the face of her fellow member. It looked dangerous, like at any moment, hell might break loose upon them all.

“Hwayoung are you ok? You don’t look so well.” Jiyeon decided on.

Immediately, the conversation froze, as all the members turned to see the frustrated member sitting in the corner. 

There was a second of silence, as if Jiyeon’s question had caught her off guard, but she continued right after. “Jiyeon this. Jiyeon that.”

Why did she feel so uncomfortable hearing those words?

Jiyeon kept her gaze on the corner of the room where Hwayoung was sitting, clearly pissed about something. 

Her sarcastic yet stuck up tone was apparent in her voice, “Jiyeon you’re pretty. Jiyeon you’re my favorite. Jiyeon I watched your drama. Aren’t you all embarrassed?”

No… no this definitely felt bad. There was no explanation but she knew something was off.

“What are you talking about?” Qri questioned raising one eyebrow.

“We all work hard, but because Jiyeon just has to smile. She gets all the credit.” 

She should’ve been annoyed by her words. After all of her sacrifice. After everything she had put into T-ara. But strangely instead of anger, Jiyeon felt worried. Why did this feel familiar?

“Have you ever had a hard day in your life with your pretty face?” Hwayoung had at some point left her seat and was now face to face with her.

Jiyeon remained calm, “I’m sorry Hwayoung, I didn’t know you felt that way, I’ll try to be more cautious about taking credit.”

“Ya! Why are you apologizing?” Hyomin suddenly stood up in her defense. 

But Jiyeon placed her hand on her unnie’s shoulder, trying her best to calm her down.

“You and all of the members are so hardworking, that’s why I can see why it would upset you. I’m sorry to the other members as well.” She immediately bowed in apology. 

For some reason, for some unexplainable reason. Her pride had evaporated. There was not a single ounce of humiliation she felt. Instead, the desperation to resolve this eerie feeling made her do anything she could think of.

“Jiyeon-i! What’s wrong with you? None of us have ever felt that way.” Eunjung shouted from behind her. 

For a moment, and just for a moment Jiyeon could see a hint of guilt in the eyes of the idol in front of her. 

“Is there something you’d like to tell us Hwayoung-a?” Qri was now standing by Hwayoung, an assuring hand on her arm.

“Why are you being jealous right now? We all are important. We all make up T-ara together.” Hyomin demanded standing beside Jiyeon, ignoring Jiyeon’s attempts to calm her.

No, this wasn’t helping. Some kind of trigger returned inside of Hwayoung’s eyes and she continued, “I hate her!” Came an outraged screamed.

There was a moment of silence, as even the stylists around them could no longer ignore the conversation.

A manager quickly entered hearing the commotion. “What’s going on, you should be on a van to the agency.”

“Just a few minutes manager-nim we need to sort something out first.” Qri requested, and with her authoritative tone, the manager nodded and left.

“Please Hwayoung-i, I understand you’re angry. But let’s talk this out later.” Soyeon tried to step in as well.

“Didn’t you hear what I said? I hate you!” Hwayoung screamed into Jiyeon’s face once again. Not an ounce of guilt as some flecks of spit flew from .

Jiyeon bowed her head, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I’ve done to make you hate me.” 

She was crazy. Why was she doing this? Why was she bowing her head when she didn’t even do anything wrong?

“I even told the CEO to stop Dani from debuting! Cause she pissed me off so much!”

At that moment Jiyeon almost clobbered her. She almost threw her entire arm and punched the girl in front of her square in the jaw. But something kept her from doing it, as if some deity was warning her of her future. 

“So say it, you think I don’t deserve to be here! You must look down on me so much, with your pretty face! Say it you ! Tell me to my face you wish I should’ve never joined!” The desperation in the girl’s eyes was almost pitiful. She was clearly not expecting this reaction.

Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and Jiyeon almost felt bad for her. 

No matter what she did and said to upset her, Jiyeon wasn’t going to get angry. Somehow she had heard all of these hateful statements before. And somehow it didn’t affect her so much now.

“I’m sorry if we felt clique-ish Hwayoung-a, I promise it wasn’t intentional. I as the leader should’ve noticed this.” It was almost amazing how composed Qri was, she didn’t have the horrified expressions that the rest of her members did. 

Slowly, Hwayoung began to melt down, as she buried her weeping face into Qri’s chest. The leader, not hesitating to embrace the almost weeping mess that was Ryu Hwayoung.

“Does everyone hear that?” Qri suddenly turned towards the other members, “we’re all T-ara together? Understand?”

Slowly everyone started to nod, even though there was still disbelief painted over Eunjung and Hyomin unnie’s faces. 

But Jiyeon just smiled as assuringly as she could towards her unnies. Mouthing for them to calm down.

“Are you ok?” Hyomin whispered into Jiyeon’s ears. “How the hell are you so calm?”

Jiyeon… to be honest, Jiyeon didn’t understand either. She just did. 

Somehow it felt like a nightmare had been avoided. Yet she couldn’t even understand why.

…

“As of now, its been decided that Ryu Hwayoung will be taking an extended break to improve her mental health.” The CEO’s voice echoed through the room.

All of the other 7 members sat quietly in the room, as they heard the news. A series of silent gasps, it had only been 4 hours since the incident. During that time they had driven back to Seoul, and Hwayoung had been summoned to the CEO’s office after hearing Jiyeon and Qri’s statements.

“A press release will be given today as you prepare to head to Budokan.” 

“Understood.” Qri as usual was the first to respond for them all.

“Then that will be all, you all may leave, except Jiyeon-ah. I’d like you to stay behind for a minute.” 

Jiyeon was slightly surprised to hear her name be called. But, noticing the smiles on the other member’s faces, and silent “fighting” cheers. Jiyeon mustered up her courage.

She was left alone in the large CEO office, and watched him pace from his desk. She had so many hurtful memories in this office, so many painful thoughts… yet something felt different.

“As you suggested earlier, I contacted the Ulsan Music Core team, and they paid and silenced all of the employees about the matter. Our stylists have all signed privacy forms as well.” The CEO revealed. “I must commend you, I… I had no idea about your maturity.”

Jiyeon wasn’t really sure how to react. It was a compliment right?

“I already heard from the manager as well as Qri-si about your calmness even through the entire situation. Something I find almost unbelievable considering what was brought up about Dani-ah.” The CEO had a point, it did seem almost like a miracle.

But how was Jiyeon supposed to explain? Explain, that she had felt just some inner deja-vu warn her against taking any action. 

“I just did what was best for the group. You know sir, I’ve poured everything into T-ara. What’s swallowing my pride for a little longer.” Jiyeon answered calmly.

“I’m very impressed with your maturity through this situation, that I’ve actually already decided something.”

She stared towards him, wondering what he was thinking. His decisions were rarely in Jiyeon’s favor.

“With Hwayoung on absence, I believe that Dani will be a great fit in the group for the next comeback. The choreographers have already made it for 8 members, which is why she will be gradually implemented into the group after these next few concerts.”

Jiyeon’s heart almost leaped for joy. Was this really happening? Dani was being given another chance? After all of the tears she had shed for her ‘dongsaeng’ Jiyeon was overjoyed to hear she was coming back. 

 Because of one choice? She couldn’t believe it. It seemed almost too good to be true.

…

Soompi: MBK Entertainment announces T-ara’s Hwayoung to take a break from promotions

After their performance in the most recent Ulsan Music Core Special, MBK has announced tonight that recently added member Ryu Hwayoung will be taking a break from promotions, citing mental health reasons. 

“With doctor’s recommendation Ryu Hwayoung will be resting comfortably, and recovering. We ask for fans continued support of T-ara as they continue promoting.”

Many fans were impressed by the agency’s swift decision making. Several netizens pointing out that other agency’s would force members to finish promotions before allowing them to take a break. Others criticized the hectic schedule MBK Entertainment had placed on the members. Several citing the release of the repackaged Japanese album in June and the Day by Day release not even a month after. 

What are your thoughts on the new 7 member lineup that will finish Day by Day promotions?

… July 30th 2012

AllKpop: ‘Day by Day’ wins 4th Music Show win on KBS Music Bank with 7 member lineup

… August 15th 2012

Soompi: MBK Entertainment announces Ryu Hwayoung will leave T-ara to pursue acting career

With the end of Day by Day promotions, MBK Entertainment officially announced the departure of Ryu Hwayoung in the following statement.

“We are extremely thankful for the time Ryu Hwayoung has spent with T-ara. However, she has expressed her wish to step away from the music scene and instead pursue an acting career. We wish her the very best in her future endeavors.”

… September 2nd 2012

Koreaboo: T-ara’s ‘y Love’ introduces new 8th member Kim Dani in MV

The cute and pretty ‘Day by Day' actress has finally made her debut. Many fans had speculated that she would take part in Day by Day making T-ara a 9 person group. However, with the recent departure of Ryu Hwayoung, Kim Dani has been confirmed to join as the 8th member for 'y Love’ promotions. 

…

“Good night Dani.” Jiyeon pat the youngest member on the forehead, as she watched slowly close her eyes. “We have our first music show tomorrow, so you should get some sleep.”

“But Unnie, I’m so nervous. I don’t think I can sleep.” The cute 14 year old slammed her palms into the mattress. “What if I mess up tomorrow?”

“I can understand that. My first time performing I stayed up all night as well.” She assured her with a grin. “But if you don’t sleep at all, you’ll blame yourself for not sleeping if you make a mistake. At least if you sleep, you know you did everything you could.”

Dani smiled clearly at least slightly calmed now. “Unnie, thank you.”

Jiyeon chuckled again, as she wondered why she was being thanked all of the sudden.“Why?”

“Thanks for not giving up on me. I know it’s because of you, I get to debut as T-ara.” 

Hearing the young girl’s words, brought her on the verge of tears. After all of the pain, and suffering… somehow that fateful moment… she didn’t even realize it. But it had all come together to finally work out in her favor. Not that she was glad that Hwayoung had been forced to step down by the boss. 

But if Karma existed, it must’ve been the thing keeping her from exploding that day.

“Ya, the reason you’re debuting is because of your handwork. That’s all there is to it, ok?” Jiyeon denied, as she turned away to wipe away the forming tears.

Dani didn’t show a reaction, but she could tell she didn’t believe her words. Slowly, after about ten minutes, the nervous and excited girl yawned for the first time. Then, after another couple minutes, Jiyeon stopped the girls back, as she heard a soft purr erupt from the trainee’s adorable lips.

“Goodnight Dani.” Jiyeon whispered into her ear, as she lifted herself off the girl’s bed and silently left their room. 

Ever since joining their practices, Dani had moved into the dorm. Hyomin had kindly offered to let Dani to stay with Jiyeon, and now Jiyeon almost felt like an 20 year-old Mom.

“Omma, can you pour me a glass of milk?” Eunjung’s high pitched voice mocked from the sofa of the living room. 

Beside her, Hyomin and Soyeon were also crashed on the sofa. Jiyeon frowned and rolled her eyes as she headed towards the kitchen to follow her unnie’s request. 

“Did she actually fall asleep?” Hyomin questioned in genuine curiosity.

“Yes.” Jiyeon answered confidently as she returned with several drinks and joined her members in the living room.

“We’re all proud of our Maknae’s little daughter aren’t we?” Soyeon joked with a smirk. 

Jiyeon pouted as she jumped next to Hyomin and leaned her head into Hyomin’s shoulder.

“Aigoo, my daughter, has a daughter of her own now.” Hyomin teased as she began her hands through her hair.

“Where’s Boram unnie?” Jiyeon inquired glancing around the room.

“She and Ahreum went to bed.” Qri announced as she entered into the living room.

“Unnie, with Dani here, don’t you feel like a grandma?” Soyeon questioned.

Qri chuckled as she nodded her head. “I thought Jiyeon and Ahreum were young, but Dani really feels like she could be my daughter.” 

There was a loud yawn from Hyomin as she snuggled her head against Jiyeon. 

“It sounds like that ahjumma is tired, we should probably go to bed.” Eunjung teased staring at Hyomin.

“Ya! I’m younger than you.” Hyomin stuck out her tongue.

Despite the comment, Jiyeon stayed up and listened to them converse about the “old times” for another hour or so, before finally deciding to retire as well. 

She gently opened the door to her room, and climbed into her bed, noticing that Dani was still fast asleep. 

Jiyeon waited about a minute or so, until she felt confident enough to reveal her phone. Pulling the comforter over her face to mask the light, she checked her messages.

    IU: Jiyeon I watched your mv this morning <3

    Luna: Me too

    Luna: very creative to have all of you in the toy packaging

    IU: How did you stay motionless for so long?

    Jiyeon: Lot’s of practice lol, that was like 4 takes in

    IU: I really liked it, it’s exactly what I want in life

    Luna: what?

    IU: y Love 

    Luna: …

    Jiyeon: haha, thanks for your support

    IU: Tell Dani, she’s so adorable in it too

    Luna: Dani was very pretty as well

    Jiyeon: I’ll tell her tomorrow

    Jiyeon: How’s your concerts going Jieun?

    IU: Tiring, it’s a lot when you’re a soloist

    Jiyeon: Dani said she really wanted to go with me to one of your concerts so, we’ll try to make it too one

    IU: Let me know, I’ll get you tickets! <3

    Luna: Aww, I’m stuck in Japan…

    Jiyeon: We’ll send pics

    IU: At least you’re not actually stuck in a ‘Hot Summer’

    Luna: Are you done?

Jiyeon had to clasp her hand over to keep herself from laughing aloud. Though she was often derpy in real life, Jieun was hilarious as a friend, and always seemed to cheer her up when she was struggling.

She scrolled down and saw the messages that she now ignored.

The amount of males idols that had reached out didn’t seem possible. She had never once given out her number… yet 20 maybe 30 now? 

Then there was Myungsoo. After a while he had stopped messaging her. Like he had accepted the words of the PR team that had prevented their relationship from blossoming.

Yet it wasn’t like she had really tried to keep it either. For some reason, she didn’t feel an ounce of regret that she had never dated him. Like that night at Inna’s had faded all of her earlier wishes for him. 

Had she really ever loved him? Or maybe she just didn’t know what love was. She had never dated in her life, how could she know?

Maybe Daniel would know.

Wait… that’s when her heart sank once again. Daniel… she hadn’t talked to him since that phone call. He was in a relationship now, and even if she wasn’t slightly conservative: they weren’t close enough to be called childhood friends, they weren’t school friends, or had any reason to be friends. 

So what reasoning could there be for her to have a friendship with him? 

If he had a girlfriend now, she should just wish him the best as he had done for her. 

If only… if only she didn’t miss those conversations with him. The subtle teasing they would give each other. The way she would start to grow curious of his world, whenever he advised her from his personal experiences. 

Her eyes moved scrolled towards her messages, and noticed that his account had been offline for months now. Had he deleted his Kakao talk app?

She missed him. Why though? Why did she start having dreams about their meeting again?

Ever since that day, the day with Hwayoung… Jiyeon had thought about him. She had thought about his voice. She had everything now, yet she missed him. Daniel… who are you to make me feel this way?

 

Flash forward: 

 

2012: Fans are jealous of Jiyeon and IU’s friendship, as T-ara’s Jiyeon and Dani appear in support at her Concert

2013: Sub unit T-ara N4, mini album Jeon Wong Diary exceeds over 3 million digital downloads.

T-ara has become the first girl group to achieve the coveted 1 million trifecta, with album sales of over 1 million in China, Japan, and Korea.

Netizens are amazed by the mother-daughter relationship of T-ara’s Jiyeon and Dani displayed on recent Running Man episode

2014: Park Jiyeon rivals Suzy for CF queen with over 12 endorsements during 2014

T-ara’s Sugar Free exceeds 20 million views in 1 day destroying previously set record for Kpop girl group MV.

 T-ara’s Great China Tour garners over 300 thousand individual ticket sales

Dispatch: Kim Jaejoong and Park Jiyeon confirm end to 6 month relationship

Park Jiyeon’s solo Never Ever tops East Asia billboards with over 200 million streams

2015: Insider Monkey lists T-ara as 5th Overtaking SNSD for most record sales

SBS Drama Remember starring Yoo Seungho and T-ara’s Jiyeon records 27% ratings with over 3 million concurrent viewers

T-ara renews contract with Japanese agency J-rock Entertainment for reported 25 billion won contract

T-ara comeback with ‘So Crazy’ garners 8 Music Show wins. With now 75 total Music show wins (including T-ara N4), T-ara looks to challenge SNSD

2016: T-ara’s releases Number 9 which hits billboard Number 1 within hours

T-ara’s Ahreum announces departure from the group

Park Jiyeon tops female Idol Brand recognition rankings for 3 months now

 

 

“Unnie!” 

Aish. Jiyeon didn’t want to open her eyes. Though ignoring the constant shaking of her shoulder was starting to become annoying.

“Unnie!”

She slowly opened her eyes, although she could already identify the sound of the much matured voice that was currently nagging her. 

“Let’s eat breakfast, I cooked you something.” The enthusiastic voice of the now 18 year old Kim Dani rang through her ears.

“Ok, ok. I’ll get up.” Jiyeon yawned as she gently rolled to the other side of the bed. 

“Unnie, you said that last time.” Dani whined as she snuggled her head into Jiyeon’s neck. 

“Ok! Ok! I’ll wake up. Ya I said I’ll wake up!” Jiyeon complained throwing her arms up to defense herself. 

Sometimes she wondered how she had ever acted so shamelessly as the former Maknae. Or better, how her unnies had tolerated her childish and immature actions.

She could remember bothering and teasing Hyomin and Eunjung for hours, but now; she could only empathize with them. Actually, now she couldn’t even do that. At this moment, they were undoubtedly sleeping peacefully in their beds, while Jiyeon was left to entertain and cater to the youngest. 

Damn success. Success meant they now lived in two member dorms. All in one high-rise of course, but still… separate rooms was practically void with the amount of nights Dani slept over in her room.

“I had a CF shooting last night that didn’t end until 3 in the morning, Unnie’s tired.” Jiyeon buried her head into her pillow, desperate just to get a few more minutes of sleep.

“I know. That’s why I made you something delicious.” Dani completely ignored her pleading as she began to skip out of the room. 

Then as if an after thought, she peeked into her head one last time, “I’ll really be hurt if you don’t come out and eat.”

Jiyeon wondered why the other members had all shot her pitiable gazes when she first agreed to room with Dani. She knew all too well now, it wasn’t easy being the Center of one of Korea’s top girl groups.

Unlike what she had imagined, it wasn’t any less stressful than before. If anything there were even more haters and critics giving her attention. All of her decisions were analyzed and put under a microscope by the internet. If she was even photographed after a meal, articles about her gaining weight flew off the press. 

But still, even through all of that, she was thankful. This was everything she had ever wished for and more. After all of their hard work, after all of her sacrifice… it was all worth it. 

Just seeing the excited and joyous face of Dani every morning made it all worth it. Watching perfect chemistry between all of their members as they grew closer than she could’ve imagined. Sure, life was lonely with all of the press, but they had each other.

With a new mindset, she finally mustered up the energy and forced herself off her bed. She began following the trail of the savory smell coming from outside her room and into the large living area. 

Their living space was sparsely decorated with life size portraits of her and Dani. Massive wall to wall glass planes that let in plenty of sunlight into their apartment, brightening the modern kitchen where Dani was waiting. 

“Unnie, let’s eat. Manager-nim called and said they’ll pick us up in 40 minutes to start concert preparations.” The Maknae announced holding up her phone.

Jiyeon smiled as she sat down to eat. “Looks good,” it really didn’t. But she was improving, besides— it wasn’t like Jiyeon could cook either.

If there was one thing she missed about her last boyfriend, was that he was a great cook. Or maybe it was the boyfriend before him. Jiyeon had lost track, they came and went so quickly. 

Myungsoo, Jaejoong, Yoo Seungho… none ever stuck around.

Still, they never lasted. Inevitable breakups that usually ended with them breaking up with her, always the same reason. “Did you really ever love me?” What hurt the most, was Jiyeon never really had an answer to that question. 

“Unnie, smile please.” Dani nudged her on the shoulder as she took the seat beside her, “you never smile these days.” 

Jiyeon forced a smile, but even she could tell it was forced.

“Are you thinking about Seungho oppa?” 

Jiyeon shook her head, it wasn’t even the breakup that had her down. 

“I’m just tired, that’s all.” 

It was the fact that life went on. Breakup, injury, fatigue. Nothing ever paused her schedules. Photoshoots, variety shows, filming, and on top of that album preparations— she had literally become a promotion robot. 

“Make sure to get some rest today then.” Dani spoke condescendingly as she pat her on the head. 

Jiyeon almost exploded, referencing her lack of sleep thanks to her. But, she knew the cute girl had good intentions, so there was no point in getting upset. 

“I can’t sleep, because I’m the guinea pig to your failed recipes.” Jiyeon teased as she shook off the sleep.

“Today’s too?”

She cracked a tiny smirk, “it’s getting better.”

Jiyeon changed and packed her bag with whatever she needed to get through the day, and texted her manager to pick up coffee on the way. 

“Jooyoung unnie’s here.” Dani called near the front door. 

“I’m coming.” Jiyeon glanced around her room one last time, was she forgetting anything?

“I’ll see you soon.” 

The straps of her coach bag dropped from her finger tips. Had she just imagined that voice? No way. There was no way… why did that voice sound so familiar. It was deep, yet gentle, with a hint of playfulness. There was only one person she remembered with such a warm voice. Daniel.

But why today of all days? Why was she hallucinating now?

“Jiyeon-ah!” Jooyoung’s voice rang from outside. “What are you doing? I have your coffee!”

“I’m coming!” Jiyeon quickly reached for the fallen purse, ignoring the strange voice she had imagined. 

And just like any other day, time passed as most days do. 

Practice, meetings with the CEO, and stage outfit tests, followed by meetings with advertisers. It had practically become a routine at this point. 

“Great work today!” Bae Yoonjung called to Jiyeon and Hyomin’s sweaty figures.

Practice with her felt like hell, especially when she hadn’t danced for months with her recent drama. 

“See you tomorrow unnie.” Hyomin waived back.

By the time she had finished changing, Jooyoung and another manager were already waiting outside for them. She already knew that Jooyoung’s presence meant that she wasn’t going home yet. 

“Another schedule? You’re insane… it’s 10pm.” Jiyeon mumbled.

Hyomin pat her on the back. “I can’t say I envy you,” she whispered with a smirk.

“Thanks unnie.” 

So there she was in the all too familiar celebrity van. Completely unaffected by the fancy reclining seats, and comfortable leg room. Beside her was Eunjung, they were both modeling for the same beauty brand. 

There was complete silence inside, Eunjung fast asleep, with her leather bound seat reclined to its max setting. Jiyeon, who knew the moment she shut her eyes, would drift out of consciousness, stayed awake. 

Was coffee always this bitter? 

“I miss you.” 

She was going to have to see a psychologist at this point. She couldn’t believe this… what were these hallucinations. Why him? Why now?

Wanting to be rid of any thoughts of him, she quickly buried herself into her phone and immersed herself into a conversation with Jieun and Luna.

She swore that he had exited her mind after 5 long years. That summer, she had stopped talking with him, and everything just worked out. It was almost like giving him up had brought her success. It was an insane thought… but it seemed reasonable at the time.

Jiyeon had no reason to ever involve herself with him.

Choi Daehan: 1 notification

Jiyeon turned off her phone twice, making sure this wasn’t another hallucination. 

Was this a coincidence? How was this possible? 

She swiped to delete the conversation.

Are you sure you wish to delete this conversation?

Goddamit she wasn’t sure. Her thumb was shaking, as it hovered between yes and no.

Finally, she opened it.

    Daehan: Hey Jiyeon, this is Daniel Choi from a few years ago

No, it wasn’t him. It couldn’t be him, not after 5 years. She almost crushed her phone between her fingers… 

    Daehan: I’m sure you don’t remember me, and this may be completely shameless of me to ask

Yes, he was completely shameless. Did he even know? How much she had stress and toiled over contacting him? 

When he had disappeared from Kakao talk she had spent all of 2012 toiling over whether to leave a message. She knew he had a girlfriend, and it was wrong to covet a taken person. After all she didn’t even know why she had feelings for him.

For 3 years she would constantly search social media, looking for an account. For someway to try and contact him. But nothing ever showed up. After a year she figured he would’ve broken up, and considered just contacting him for the sake of it.

Put simply, she hated him.

She prayed that perhaps they’d coincidently meet again, and she’d see he wasn’t handsome at all, finally easing her mind. She silently wished that her memories of him were completely altered and that he was unattractive and a loser.

Instead, she was tortured. For 5 years, the same voice that had warned her, whispered his name into her mind. No wonder she couldn’t date anyone else. 

    Daehan: My family and I are visiting Korea in a few weeks, and with my sister being a fan of yours, I was wondering if you could get us tickets to your upcoming concert.

A small droplet of water just flowed out of her left eye. She felt her hand quiver as she pondered throwing her phone out the window of the moving van. He was coming here?

Who the hell was he to ask this? Who the hell did he think he was because they met once, and he had saved her, and kept in contact, talking for hours over text messages… she wasn’t helping her case.

But how did he sound so calm, so matter of fact? Was there an ounce of regret in his mind about her?

Jiyeon was going insane. Why are you showing up in front of me again?

 

 

“Aigoo jiyeon-ie, you’re dating scandals are all over the press, but you can’t even understand your feelings.” Yoo Inna chided her.

Jiyeon shook her head adamantly in denial. It didn’t make any sense, all they had done was text… yet she was going crazy just thinking about him. She longed to see him again, to remember what he looked like.

All she could remember were those three words. The confident voice he spoke in as he said, “Grab my arm.” 

“Trust me.”

It was those eyes, that kind smile. She couldn’t even remember it, yet she searched for it in Korea’s most handsome stars and came up completely empty.

“It makes no sense.” Jiyeon denied her own heart. “Why do I like him? Why can’t I do anything to forget him… after all these years.”

Inna patiently sat beside her, both facing out into the illuminated Hangang river. Seoul’s skyline across the way from their peaceful bench. Without her knowing, Dani had contacted Inna out of concern for her, and Inna had randomly shown up to “kidnap her” in her words. 

“Jiyeon-ah, you’re not insane, you’re not hallucinating voices… you miss him.” The sweet voiced woman explained. “It’s normal for top stars especially, to long for the person who gave the warmth, not the person who accelerates their heart.”

“Look at Lee Hyori.”

“He wasn’t ugly unnie.” Jiyeon unconsciously defended Daniel.

“Some people think Sangsoon oppa is handsome.” Inna teased.

“We’ve never even kissed. Yet I can remember his voice so vividly. That night I can’t forget it, so why did I take it for granted?” Jiyeon questioned. “It’s haunted me for years, what I was thinking that I didn’t confessed sooner.”

“It’s been five years, don’t live on your regrets. Instead take this opportunity, second chances don’t come around often.” Inna whispered as she began gently her back.

Insane, it was absolutely insane. But the anticipation she felt inside. She wanted any chance to at least meet him again. Even just to stare into those gentle eyes, and hear his warm voice. She just wanted one last chance. 

“You’re right unnie, I’m going to say yes.”

 

 

It was today. Today she would see him again. Three tickets for Daniel and his family. She wondered which of his parents would come with him, she figured his mother. She remembered hearing from him, that his father and him had been mostly disinterested by Korean culture before meeting her. 

“You ready?” A stage manager asked, as Jiyeon checked her outfit once again. She glanced towards her other members, they were all ready as well. Confident smiles on their faces, as they had all practiced for this moment. 

80,000 fans were waiting outside, and in the front rows was him. He would be watching her performance.

Her heart was pounding just at the thought. She would finally see him again. What would he look like? Americans at mostly unhealthy food, but he was an athlete after all.

“THE CONCERT WILL BE STARTING IN 5 MINUTES.” The PA called over the loud speakers. 

“Let’s go, let’s go!” The stage managers called. 

All 7 of them quickly gathered in their changing room. 

“It's no different than usual. Let’s do this!” 

“T-ara on 3.” Hyomin announced. 

“3, 2, 1 T-ara!” They cried in unison. 

 

“1, 2… 3!” The sound of a drum beat followed by rhythmic onomatopoeia. 

“Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to T-ara time with Brave Sound Again. 2016.”

“Let’s make some noise!” 

The 7 ladies of T-ara all entered the stage, wearing y white sailor outfits. Jiyeon and Hyomin taking the center with bright faces and confident gazes.

Their was a large male scream from the crowd at their entrance. 

“Hilkkeumhilkkeum wae jakku chyeodabwa 

My eyes keep going to you

Na gajgo jangnanman chiji jom ma

My face is turning red, I get dizzy when I see you”

As each members part part passed and Soyeon began the prechorus. Jiyeon’s eyes unconsciously gravitated towards the front row searching for Daniel. 

She had only heard from Jooyoung unnie, who she had requested a favor from, that there VIP tickets had indeed been scanned at the front. 

But in the darkness, with all of the nightsticks, Jiyeon couldn’t distinguish any faces. 

“Bunwigi joheun i bame

Party Tonight” 

“So Good!” They all sang together as they twirled around to face the audience, with one finger pointed.

The chorus began, and with Jiyeon once again taking the center, she took another opportunity to gaze towards the front row. 

Unfortunately instead of finding Daniel, her eyes met an adorable little girl. She had large eyes, and pale skin, with cute baby cheeks. She had to be around 4, but she was bopping her head excitedly to the song. 

Jiyeon almost felt a slight amount of shame, at the more revealing outfits they were wearing. But ultimately figured, that the girl likely didn’t understand anything at that age. 

“Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Wanjeon michyeotne

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh”

She was totally michyeotne (crazy). Why was she even searching for the crowd? 

She had already invited them to meet her backstage, why bother now? She needed to focus.

 

Jiyeon sighed as she entered into their dressing room. After finishing the ballad version of ‘Cry Cry’ for their finale, Jiyeon had changed into the oversized concert tee and a pair of denim shorts. 

It was almost tear jerking seeing how many fans sang along even after they cut the guide track. But, she couldn’t seem to cry, not when she had so many other thoughts. 

She knew that it had been almost 10 minutes since the concert was over, and soon they would arrive. Daniel and his sister. 

To be honest, she was more nervous now, then when she had to get on stage. 

The door swung open, and Jiyeon’s heart rose… “Aish!” 

Instead Kim Dani entered, with a grin on her face, glancing around the room.

“He’s not here yet?”

Jiyeon rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Not yet.”

“I want to meet the oppa who lied about being your actual brother.” Dani requested. 

Jiyeon scoffed, but figured it might ease the awkwardness if she was here.

Then she heard footsteps again. “Right here, she’s expecting you.” It was Jooyoung’s voice leading them.

This was it. All this time… waiting— the door slowly creaked open. 

It was a female set of eyes, and Jiyeon assumed the 20ish year old girl was Jenny, Daniel’s sister. 

“OH MY GOD!” The girl squealed as she slowly entered the room.

With experience from hundreds if not a thousand fanmeets, like robots Jiyeon and Dani’s smiles appeared as they welcomed her.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m actually meeting you.” The cute girl seemed to be close to tears as Dani gave her a warm embrace. 

“I’m such a big fan, this is such an honor.” 

Dani and Jiyeon both smiled, until the second figure entered. It was him. Jiyeon felt her entire heart slow to a stop. He was everything and nothing like she remembered. 

He was just as tall, yet seemed even more handsome then she remembered. He had an athletic build, with a chiseled jaw, and charming eyes. He was well dressed in a button down shirt and slacks. A very much business casual look. 

His face was almost shining, as she wondered why she had ever doubted his appearance. Sure his skin was darker than most idols, but his aura was like that of a Korean actor. 

“Long time no see.” He slowly eased his way into the room. His voice was exactly as she had remembered. 

She felt her hands trembling just at the sight. Why did he seem so calm?

Someone might’ve mistaken him as the top star, and her as an obsessed fan.

“Long time no see too.” Jiyeon almost cursed herself at how dry her statement seemed.

There was complete silence, as both Dani and Jenny seemed to have disappeared from the room. A minute might’ve passed, as their gazes remained glued to each other.

“Don’t be shy.” He suddenly whispered.

Jiyeon almost questioned why he had said such a thing… when she realized he wasn’t talking to her.

He turned around towards the still slightly open door and reached his hand out. Who was he reaching for? 

Who else was here?

A tiny silhouette entered holding tightly onto his hand. The child had long brown hair, and— she was the same girl Jiyeon had locked eyes with during the concert.

Who was she? A niece maybe?

“Hello, you’re so cute!” Dani spouted out finally revealing herself as still present.

“Hello little one.” Jiyeon greeted as she lowered onto one knee. 

“Hi.” The nervous girl responded in English. Before quickly darting behind Daniel’s leg, and hiding herself from view.

“She’s a big fan of yours as well.” Daniel explained scratching his nape. 

“Ah, I see, what’s your name then?” Jiyeon inquired, finally finding some talking point for her and Daniel. 

“Tell her your name Michelle.” He spoke in English, but Jiyeon could understand her name.

The little girl slowly creeped out once again and smiled towards her.

“My name is Michelle. My Korean name is Choi Mina!” The girl announced confidently.

She was adorable… absolutely adorable. Jiyeon glanced back towards Daniel, and noticed his own proud smile. 

Choi Michelle. Choi. Choi. 

Wait… that didn’t mean. Did it?

“Appa, I’m so nervous.” The girl darted back to Daniel, and he lifted her into his arms. 

Jiyeon felt her heart hit rock bottom. Her darkest and scariest fear coming to fruition. This girl… was… his daughter? She was too late.