Slowly. Slowly. Slowly, she paced along the beach.

The feeling of the sand shifting beneath her feet. The beautiful sight of the wide expanse of the ocean, a beautiful panoramic in front of her.

Did she like it? It was hard to say. The tiny speckles sticking to her feet. Not the best feeling.

“He wanted to take you here.”

Jiyeon slowly stepped forward allowing the warm California sun to shine on her. The beautiful beach empty save for a few families. 

She wasn’t sure how to process it all. How perfect it would’ve been, the two of them standing there together. Hand in hand. 

She could understand now, why he liked this place.  

“I think you should at least see it.”

Jiyeon had thanked Jenny for letting her visit the place. For sharing all of his memories with her. 

She found herself wandering forward. Barefoot in the sand, a gentle wind blowing against her simple dress. 

She closed her eyes as she approached the beach. Not caring at all if she looked strange.

“I’m here.” She said aloud. “I heard you wanted to come with me.” 

She breathed out. Thinking of all of the words she wanted to express to him.

“It’s beautiful here. It’s so pretty here.”

She had to admit, for such a handsome man, he always had a delicate taste in everything.

“I know I would’ve loved spending time with you.” She repeated aloud again. 

Pure silence was all she was met with, coupled by the light crash of the waves. The soothing sound almost taunting her, that even with her loss, the world continued on as scheduled.

“Why? Why can’t you answer me?” She was upset by his silence.

“This is what you wanted right?”

“You wanted me to be alone right?” She pleaded for a response.

But it was never coming. There was never going to be a response.

She felt tears begin to pour down her face. She had held back her emotions, all of her sorrow during the funeral. 

She desperately wanted to remain strong for him. But it was hard.

“You made that choice because you wanted me to be alone!” She screamed in agony.

She must’ve looked insane to everyone watching.

She just wanted an apology. She wanted a comforting hug, like the ones he frequently gave to her before. The ones she had begun to take for granted.

Jiyeon missed it so much.

She sank to her knees not caring at all about the state of her dress. Weeping as a swarm of emotions fell over her. Pent up sadness releasing in one giant tsunami of tears.

“I hate you!” 

“Why did you leave me alone? Why are you so selfish? You left us alone…” 

As always he was selfish.

I love you. 

The way he said it was always so perfect. The way he would lean towards her, his handsome eyes gazing directly into hers. 

Where she pondered what was going on in his smart brain.

I love you Jiyeon-ah.

He always said it so seriously. Treasuring her name with his voice like it was a diamond.

“I love you Daniel.” Her words barely audible through the loud pathetic sobs that tore through the air.

“I love you.”

I’ll never leave you. It was all a lie. All of his false promises.

Life would never be the same. Not without him. Her soulmate. Her lover. Her fan.

…

Jiyeon held a little boy’s hand. They were in the middle of a beautiful cemetery. A bright blue bird chirped in the distance.

“Isn’t it pretty?” Jiyeon inquired towards the younger boy.

“Pretty.” The boy announced in awe staring at the beautiful creature.

Jiyeon watched as the boy led her the rest of the way to the grave stone. 

“It’s right here.” 

Jiyeon nodded her head walking towards the memorial stone. 

“Omma why do you always come here?” The boy questioned curiously staring at the large stone with flowers all around it.

“Because Daehan-ie, a special person passed away and is buried here.” Jiyeon explained, lowering herself eye level to her son.

“Ahh.” He glanced towards the stone plate. “Da-ni-yeul.” 

Jiyeon pat her son on the head proudly, keeping her composure, though just hearing his name made her waver. 

“That’s right. Daniel.”

“Why is he important?” 

“He’s someone who used to be really good friends with your omma.” Jiyeon lied.

Daehan nodded his head energetically. “Was he friends with appa as well?” 

Jiyeon froze at his question. 

“He—well they knew each other. But he was mostly omma’s friend.”

“Ahh. I see. But, why do you always cry when you visit this grave?” Daehan asked.

“Because he was very special to your omma. Even if omma loves appa, this person was very special to her as well.” Jiyeon wasn’t even sure how to explain things to him.

But Daehan nodded anyways grinning at her. “Don’t be sad omma.”

Jiyeon nodded her head, trying her best to heed her son’s words.

“Why don’t you go buy some flowers to put here. The shop is not far, omma will give you some money ok?” 

“Ok omma.” Daehan nodded his head emphatically.

The little boy ran off in the direction of the entrance as Jiyeon was left alone with him.

“Hi. It’s been 6 years now.” Jiyeon mumbled. “I don’t even know what to say.”

As usual only silence greeted her.

“I’m sorry. You must be mad huh?” She glanced down at her wedding ring. It had replaced the couple ring she had worn before.

“You were always jealous. I hope you’ve found peace up there.” 

“I’m married now. The kid right there is Daehan. He doesn’t even know about you… But he looks like you.” Jiyeon felt her first tear fall down her cheek.

“He’s a good father to Daehan. He’s a good husband.” Jiyeon was crying now unable to control her emotions towards him even after all these years.

“I hope you’re proud of him. You’re proud of me.”

“Omma!” It was Daehan’s voice. “Appa came.”

Jiyeon wiped away her tears as she turned back surprised to see her husband standing behind the young boy.

“I thought I’d come and pay my respects.” Myungsoo explained as he pat the young boy on the head. 

Noticing her grief Myungsoo quickly pulled her into an embrace.

“Sorry. Sorry. It must be hard for you.” He comforted her.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be like this. Not around you and him.” 

“It’s ok. Just let it out.” He whispered clutching her tightly, gently her back.

“Sorry.” Was all she could squeak out as her emotions poured out anyways. 

“That was your dream?” Daniel’s voice rang out from over the speaker of her cellphone. 

Jiyeon bit into her tongue, somewhat embarrassed that she had actually explained in detail her entire nightmare. 

“Yes.” She whispered, clenching her fingers around her comforter. “I guess it’s more of a nightmare.”

“Right.” His voice grew quiet. She could hear him clear his throat several times thinking of a response. 

“I mean, it’s just a dream.” She mumbled.

“Sorry Jiyeon, I really do appreciate you telling me about it. But I just finished a long workout, and wasn’t expecting to hear about my future passing.” 

Jiyeon giggled slightly hearing his sarcastic reaction. It was 10 am, about 8pm there. He was still finalizing his contract with the NBA team, the American owner still seemed to have many doubts about his skills. 

She wondered what videos of Daniel he was watching that he didn’t completely believe in the man all of Korea labeled a generational prodigy.

“I guess, I need to come back soon, so you won’t have anymore of those nightmares.” That would be nice. After getting back from her New York trip, she instantly felt his absence as she prepared things. 

To be honest, there was a reason she had called him. Besides just the nightmare. Perhaps it was the root of her recent nightmares. They had promised to share everything, but Jiyeon knew whatever the response was to this… she wouldn’t like it.

“Daniel?” 

“Yes?” She heard the sound of sheets rustling as she assumed he had climbed into his bed. 

“Can we video call?” Jiyeon felt if she could see his face. Maybe she’d feel more at ease at whatever he said. Of course, seeing his expression could also lead to more harm than good. 

“No.” Jiyeon flinched as she heard the word.

“If I do, I might not be able to sleep, because I’ll wish I could be back by your side instead of suffering in this hotel.” 

Jiyeon barely covered , a loud giggle squeaking out from his cheesiness. 

“You know there’s people suffering without a home, and you’re complaining in a five star hotel.” Jiyeon scolded him, like a mother would to a child.

“Alright, alright. Just one problem.” 

“What now?” Jiyeon almost raised her voice, at his continued attempts to joke around.

“Green.”

“What?” 

“Your text messages are green, did you get a new phone?” 

Jiyeon slumped her shoulders as she completely forgot. She had changed her phone recently with Jooyoung’s recommendation. Besides, Daniel was sponsored by Samsung shouldn’t he of all people?

“I guess you don’t want to talk face to face.” She mumbled defeatedly. 

“I’m a few minutes away from an electronic store. I’ll be right back.” Even with just the audio, she could imagine him leaping out of his bed, and rushing around the bedroom in a frenzy.

Then there was silence. He had hung up. Jiyeon pouted her lips staring at the dark phone which reflected only her round white face, exuding any of her facial features. 

“Did I gain weight?” Jiyeon wondered curiously, pinching her cheek near her jaw. 

Suddenly on her phone there was a notification for a video call. Jiyeon almost leaped onto her bad, snatching the vibrating phone from underneath the sheets. 

“That was quick.” Jiyeon commented, as she watched his face glow on her screen. 

“I forgot I had a sponsored tablet in my backpack.” Daniel chuckled, scratching the side of his head. 

“Pabo-ya.” 

Then without any explanation, placed his hands on each cheek, forming a cute V. Certainly not something Jiyeon had expected from the 25 year old athlete.

“How do I look?” He inquired, as Jiyeon watched the embarrassment start to dawn on his face. 

Once again, for the sake of his pride, Jiyeon bloated her cheeks, and bit on her lip to suppress her laughter.  

“So what did you want to call about?” He cleared his throat, his expression shifting from cute to handsome. 

“Do I need a reason?” 

“I know I don’t.” He answered smoothly, his eyes gazing directly into the camera. “You look so pretty in the morning.”

“Would you believe I didn’t put on makeup yet?” She inquired shyly, wondering if his smooth responses could continue.

He shook his head. “I couldn’t.”

“I wouldn’t even want to imagine that, if this is how pretty you look without it. How much more beautiful you’d look when you’re the most confident. It’s too scary to imagine.”

Jiyeon hated that she was grinning. She hated that she felt her cheekbones shoot up and felt like fanning herself. 

“Ya, does that even make sense?” She murmured, her voice trying its best to mask her delight.

“I don’t know. But maybe if I could see your reaction I’d know.” Daniel teased. 

She realized she had unconsciously switched her phone’s camera to only reveal the floor of her bedroom. “I didn’t react at all.” She lied.

“Ok.” 

“Daniel.” She realized she had to tell him. If she didn’t, she would regret it.

“Mhm?” 

She mustered up her courage, and in one breathe let it out. “I got a Reality show offer.”

“A reality show? Like a variety show?” Daniel inquired curiously. 

Jiyeon shook her head. It wasn’t Running man, or Ask us Anything.

“Like I live Alone, that kind of reality show?”

“Mhm… kind of. Except this one is called Insolent Roommates.” She revealed.

“Ah, so you’re going to be roommates with a bunch of other celebrities, maybe other female idols or actresses?” Daniel was nervous she could see it on the video call. 

“Yes, but I was already told it was only one roommate.” Jiyeon answered, her own voice trailing off.

“And it’s a man.”

Jiyeon reluctantly nodded her head. “It’ll be filmed in Early September and broadcasted in October.” 

She knew for better or worse, that would be when Daniel would have to return to New York for his training camp. 

“Well…” Daniel cleared his throat again. Clearly trying his best to compose the thoughts running through his head. 

“Oppa.” She interrupted him. “Don’t think about my career. If it bothers you, I won’t do it.” 

She wanted to be firm, that would be the only way she wouldn’t have any regrets. No matter what, his feelings would always come first. 

“Is it a comedian?” 

Jiyeon chuckled at his question. “Why do you feel less threatened if it is?”

“You know, you’re more popular than any actor… except Park Bogum.” She teased. 

"How about more handsome?" 

"Well... I should tell the truth, shouldn't I?" 

“Ya! You don’t know, what if he goes on the show?” 

“Then I’d leave you in a second.” Jiyeon joked.

They both began laughing as Jiyeon watched a smile finally return on his lips. After a minute of silence, they both calmed down.

His grin was no longer apparent, instead she swore he was gazing right into her, his confident eyes, and gentle smile reflected perfectly onto her small screen. He was serious now.

“I trust you Jiyeon-a. I’d proud of you for getting this offer too.” He finally gave his answer. 

“Thank you.” Jiyeon could only smile, hiding the fact that her chest was pounding inside. The way his words touched her heart, couldn’t be expressed in words.

"You should get some rest. I'm sure you're tired. Did you eat?"

"I'll probably go grab dinner, then come back and sleep."

"Send me pictures." Jiyeon requested, waiving her hands towards the camera. 

"Bye. I love you." He confessed, with a goofy smile.

"I love you too."

Even through the nightmares. Even through any obstacles that might hinder their relationship. She knew that they would stay beside each other. It was hard. They would both have to make decisions to ensure they were pursuing their dreams without sacrificing the health of their relationship. But just one glance at his eyes, and she knew she wasn't fighting this battle alone.

She had him to bear her burdens with.

///////////

Hope i didn't scare you too much with the opening. haha. I had once written that as an ending, when I was immersed in the idea of endings. But thankfully, I found it useful to add to fluff. Once again, for those who don't know. While some chapters may be long and tell full time ranges, many may be shorter and be small snippets like this. If it's not clear, this chapter takes place after Jiyeon visits him in New York, and she returns. So July-ish 2017.